Song Challenge :Snake Blues

Subject: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 23 May 06 - 10:39 AM

Reported in todays paper with no more comment than this :-
A burglar in Colchester who broke into a garden shed fled empty handed after meeting the Boa-constrictor that lived there.

Oh no, he's nibbling my toe!

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: greg stephens
Date: 23 May 06 - 10:43 AM

Woke up this morning, believe I'll just lie in my bed
Due to the presence there of a giant boa constrictor, no way am I going to break into that goddam garden shed

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 23 May 06 - 11:00 AM

Yeah, the blues always start 'Woke up this Morning', let's try a break with tradition:-

Went out last evening, larceny on my mind,
Said I went out last evening, larceny on my mind,
Lookin' in all the gardens, seein' what I could find.

Well there's a house on the corner, shed's got a lock on the door,
Yeah, house on the corner, big ol' lock on the door,
Must be somethin' special, locks like that can cost a score!

Gonna take my bolt croppers, cut that hasp and staple through,
Yeah, good ol' bolt croppers, sure will cut that staple through,
Gonna open up that shed......
Oh s--t I'm gone, end of song!

FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 06 - 12:07 PM

As I roved out on a fair May evening
Some burgling for to do,
I did espy a boa constrictor
Coiling around my burglar's shoe.

I leapt from fright, and almost hollered
But for fear of the police
I kicked and shook in the dusty darkness
And the boa gained most of my knee.

I trembled hard, my heart was racing
I was afraid, sir, for to die.
I reached out for some kind of weapon,
The boa, by then, had reached my thigh.

He coiled himself inside my pantleg
I knew that soon I would be dead,
When all at once, the boa startled,
Ran down again, and quickly fled!

What could have saved me from destruction?
And made the boa flight to take?
The poor thing, sure, was overwhelméd
When confronted by my trouser snake.

So all you lassies, pay attention
And learn from this, if you're alone;
The bloke who overwhelms a python,
Is at your call -- pick up the phone!

Oliver "Blighty" Cummerbunder III
Songs of a Naughty Oxonian
Sacred Heart Publications, Oxford, 1923

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 06 - 08:07 PM

Pure-dee thread poison, I guess!! :D

Hell, FC, if yer gonna throw out Song Challenges, ya gotta learn the prtotocol!!

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: harpmolly
Date: 23 May 06 - 10:20 PM

Bravo Amos! ;)

Molly

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 24 May 06 - 03:05 AM

Yay, Amos--another masterpiece!

OK, I can't stay away from this one. Here's my contribution:

_____________________________________________________________

SURPRISE!

Went out this evenin'
Lookin' for some cash,
Yeah, I went out this evenin'
Checkin' out the neighbor's garden stash.

CHORUS:
I wanted gnomes...
Gnomes, I say...
Gotta free the garden gnomes
Take 'em back to the U.S. of A.

Bounded gazelle-like
Over a fence—
Yeah, I jumped gazelle-like
Over a back fence.
Went to check out that garden shed
W-a-a-y over in a dark corner of the yard.

CHORUS

I was well-prepared for gnome-nappin'
Had bolt cutters and a great big sack.
Opened that shed in a jiffy
And just as quick went jumpin' back.

'Cause I wanted gnomes...
Little men in funny hats...
Hell, I'd have settled for some nice rich mulch
Or even a sturdy garden rake.

But there weren't no gnomes in that shed,
No little men, no mulch, no rake,
Just a slinky, slithery, dry and rustlin'
great big squeezin' snake--

SURPRISE.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 06 - 09:57 AM

That has a ringing, bluesy sound to it indeed. LOL

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 24 May 06 - 10:38 AM

Amos... Had they really thought of the term 'Trouser Snake' in 1923?
Our modern burglar was obviously short-changed in that department.
Lin... The GGLF strikes again.
Any more takers?
FC

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 27 May 06 - 08:03 PM

Flash Company,

I rather think "trouser snake" is a phrase that's been around a lot longer than the 20s, although I admit I don't know that for certain.

And yep, the GGLF is alive and well. Can you tell I'm still trying to earn multiple cowchips? (grin)

Lin

Subject: RE: Song Challenge :Snake Blues
From: Flash Company
Date: 28 May 06 - 05:07 AM

Woody once wrote

I'll take my long-pole hoe in hand,
And sow some more good seed of man.

Better symbolism than a snake, I reckon.

I did a couple of gnome lyrics a while ago, Lin, one about some kidnapped stone pigs and one about a guy who was cautioned by police for having an obscene gnome(I kid you not!).
They're both about on Mudcat somewhere.

Elfin go brach!

FC