Lyr Add: Contest, The (Bawdy)

Subject: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 30 May 05 - 11:55 AM

Haven't found a trace of this old song that my mother recently remembered from the singing of Richard Dyer-Bennet:

THE CONTEST

(From the singing of Richard Dyer-Bennet,
As remembered by Dahlov Ipcar in 2005)

My wife, the maid and me,
My wife, the maid and me
Went out one night to take a shite
But the maid shite more than we.

My wife was grieved at this,
My wife was grieved at this;
Said she to me, "If you'll agree,
We'll challenge the bugger to piss."

Three piss pots came at call,
Three piss pots came at call;
She opened her sluice and let loose the juice,
And filled them one and all.

My wife took this to heart,
My wife took this to heart;
Said she to me, "If you'll agree,
We'll challenge the bugger to fart."

My wife and I went "Toot!"
My wife and I went "Toot!"
But the maid had a bum like a musical drum,
Went "ROOT A TA TOOT TA TOOT!"

Cheerily,
Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: GUEST,Lighter at work
Date: 31 May 05 - 02:15 PM

Hi, Charlie! The only other text of this appears to be the one in "More Rugby Songs" (1968). Is there a tune ? (Surely not "The Farmer in the Dell?")

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: radriano
Date: 31 May 05 - 05:10 PM

Ah, nothing like a good contest!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 31 May 05 - 07:04 PM

Such is the fate of drunken parties without musical instruments present!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 08:06 AM

Lighter, I believe the tune is a variant of "The Farmer in the Dell." I'll check with mother today. No telling with her what other rare songs may surface!

So, Robin, surely you have an equally graphic ditty from your edge of Oz?

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 12:29 PM

The tune that Mother is singing sounds more like the chorus of "Dundebeck's Machine" than "The Farmer in the Dell."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 06:09 PM

Reminds me of an old party record called THE CREPITATION CONTEST. "Crepitate" according to the online dictionary, means "to make a crackling or popping sound," but on the record, it's a euphemism for "fart." As I understand, it's a non-musical comedy skit.

Actually, I don't think I've ever heard it, I've only heard OF it.

I see it's been mentioned a few times at Mudcat, but no one has come up with a transcription. I'd love to hear it, and barring that, I'd love to read it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 08:05 PM

Jim- THE CREPITATION CONTEST (aka The Farting Contest) is now available on CD. It runs at least 20 minutes. There is also Mark Twain's 1601 in which the entire discussion is focused on farting if you are interested. There is, however, no relation between either of these works to this ditty that I've posted.

Lighter- would you kindly post the words in More Rugby Songs. I'm curious how close the lyrics are. I haven't been able to turn up anything similar from my web searching.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Peace
Date: 01 Jun 05 - 10:07 PM

CD available here--Crepitation Contest

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Lighter
Date: 02 Jun 05 - 08:29 PM

Will dig out the book and report back.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: CONTEST, THE (Bawdy)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Jun 05 - 08:16 AM

Thanks, Lighter. I've found no trace of this ditty in Randolph or several other books and manuscripts I have around here. I'm surprised that John doesn't have this one in his collection.

I'm frankly curious how far back this one might go. It seems likely to me that it might go back to the 17th century, the gendre of PILLS TO RELIEVE MELANCHOLY.

I did run across another quite unique farting contest song in a manuscript of Count Palmiro Vicaron entitled "The Great Farting Contest" in case you or anyone else has an interest.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Contest, The (Bawdy)
From: John M.
Date: 06 Jun 05 - 02:18 PM

Charley Noble, You are right, I don't have this version in my collection. Would you be able to sing it for me sometime?

Also, if you want to get my attention, you can send me an email at [e-mail].