BS: Immutable Truths

Subject: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:44 PM

Some things are beyond discussion.

For example:

Sandwiches taste better when sliced on the diagonal.

Any others?

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:49 PM

There is no accounting for taste.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: jeffp
Date: 19 Sep 05 - 01:54 PM

You can't bend a potato chip (crisp).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:01 AM

Don't fix it if it ain't broke.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: bobad
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:13 AM

It ain't over 'till it's over.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Pied Piper
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:15 AM

Life's a rum do, and there's nawt s' queer as folk.

PP

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:18 AM

Banjo players spend 75% of their time tuning, and 25% playing out of tune.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:24 AM

Bill, I thought that was harpers and lutenists? LOL

Never wake a sleeping baby
Don't pull a wild cat's tail

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:24 AM

The most desperate prayer in the world is:

"Please, no, I can't need a plumber...."

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John Hardly
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:31 AM

It's always in the last place you look... ...unless you look there first.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Partridge
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:33 AM

Never shove yer granny when she's shaving

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 10:41 AM

Chocolate cake tastes better in the hand than on the fork. So do tomatoes.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:03 AM

If you eat cake off your spouse's plate, it doesn't have any calories.

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:11 AM

"Don't do too good of a job, folks will begin to expect it"

                  Talkin' John, the old carpenter, 1967

he was SO right!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:20 AM

And further to Jerry's post - broken biscuits don't have any calories either.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:33 AM

Always borrow money from a pessimist: he won't expect to get it back.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:39 AM

Hammers will always fall upon your foot, and sandwiches on the buttered side.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Paul Burke
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 11:39 AM

Learn plumbing, Bunnahabhain, it's easy and it's fun if you steer clear of the gas (oh, and try not to light the furniture).

There's many a slip twixt gully and keeper.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Crystal
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:18 PM

I will be able to offer you any assistance, short of actual help!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:18 PM

There's many a slip twixt gully and keeper.
Who said that - was it Shane Warne?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: katlaughing
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:26 PM

Children will talk back; some pets will, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Grab
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:40 PM

Sandwiches taste better when sliced on the diagonal.

...but they're more filling when sliced horizontally. And slicing a sandwich vertically is just, well, icky!

Hammers will always fall upon your foot

Bartlett's Maximum Impact Hypothesis says that this is true *unless* there's something far more valuable or fragile within range.

My immutable truth - anyone can dance like Michael Flatley. All you need to do is have bare feet and drop a sharp knife, chisel, hammer, etc by accident.

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 12:51 PM

No fixed pitch instrument is ever in tune with any other fixed pitch instrument

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:08 PM

A little pain never hurt anybody. (What my sister once said.)

A little change is good for everybody. (What I'd like to see posted on a donations can)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 01:51 PM

Never gamble with a man called Doc
Never eat at a place called Mom's
Never go to bed with anyone crazier than you.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:18 PM

Don't step on Superman's cape or piss into the wind.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Don Firth
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:41 PM

Lucy was watching as Charlie Brown spread peanut butter on a slice of bread. When it was evenly distributed, he took the knife and started to cut it. Lucy shouted, "Don't cut it! Don't cut it!" She grabbed it up from the counter, folded it over, and as she walked away from a startled Charlie Brown and was about to bite into it, she said, "If you cut them, it spoils the flavor!"

By the way:   never slap someone who's chewing tobacco.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 03:55 PM

You don't tug on Superman's Cape
You don't spit into the wind
You don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
And you don't mess around with Jim!

Never tell the truth to a pregnant woman when she asks if she looks like a hippopotamus!
(16 years and I still have the bruise!)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:06 PM

"It'll feel better when it quits hurtin'."

                   my Daddy

(yes, I know it's just a tautology, but when Daddy said it to us kids it helped)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:12 PM

People in hell want ice water. (According to my mother.)

It's never to late to mutate.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,ron
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:23 PM

A waist is a terrible thing to mind

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: kendall
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:38 PM

If God had wanted us to be naked, we would be born that way.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: greg stephens
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 04:51 PM

I only just found out this one, and it's pretty useful
   If food's been on the floor less than 5 seconds, it hasn't had time to pick up any germs.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:06 PM

You can't tell a cat what to do.

( You know what I mean. You can, but it won't do you any good...)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:10 PM

Americans are stupid

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Ebbie
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:13 PM

Welcome to the fold, Guest.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:14 PM

ah, yes...the 5 second rule! Quite popular these days.....

" you avoid making mistakes through experience, you only get experience through making mistakes"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:17 PM

If what you put into the food when you fix it is nontoxic, the result will be nontoxic. Unpalatable, perhaps, but it won't kill you.

GUESTs are usually highly opinionated cowards.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:20 PM

An elevator smells different to a midget.



Hubby

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,DB
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 05:30 PM

Never eat yellow snow.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:50 PM

Won't last 5 seconds around here! Dogs will get it!

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Sorcha
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:51 PM

Humans are stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:53 PM

"science has finally discovered the missing link between early primates and civilized man.......it's us!"

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 07:56 PM

A Brief History of the World, by Norman Thomas

"Since Adam and Eve ate the apple, mankind has never refrained from doing anything of which it was capable."

(photo of a mushroom cloud followed the quote).

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: John O'L
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:07 PM

"If we don't learn from the mistakes of history we are doomed to repeat them" - or something like that.

Has any leader ever "learned from the mistakes of history"?

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:29 PM

It is better to copulate than never.

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Chris Green
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:34 PM

And also from my own experience of teaching kids aged 3-11. The larger the audience, the bigger the laugh on uttering the word "poo". (Or "bum", for that matter)

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:42 PM

People don't change, they just get more so...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:42 PM

Dem Bones, Dem Bones, gonna rise again...

Subject: RE: BS: Immutable Truths
From: pdq
Date: 20 Sep 05 - 08:43 PM

If God intended us to play the piano, He'd have given us 88 fingers!