BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..

Subject: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 09:59 PM

Well, well, well...

Toady was just one of them days when the Devil scored a few points... He didn't win but...

Oh, I'm ahead of myself allready....

So I had a truck full of stuff to go to the landfill an' tied down on top of camper shell was an old matress that me and the P-Vine had decided wasn't worth moving down to our new place in Luray...

So, I was drivin' north on Mission Holler Road when I look in the mirror and see the ol' matress has broke the rope tiein' it down an' has now flopped off the truck onto the side of the road...

Hmmmmmm?

Now this is where the Devil comes in...

Ya see, it was 'bout a 1/4 of a mile before the next place was where I could go back an' get it an in the time it took to drive that quarter mile me and the Devil has us quite a wrestlin' match that went somethin' like this:

Devil: "Yo, Bobert. The matress ain't in the middle of the road 'er nuthin'. Hey, jus leave it there..."

Bobert thinks, "Hmmmmmm? Nah..."

Devil: " Hey, look, pal. No one saw the matress fall off yer truck. Yer in the clear..."

Bobert thinks, "Hmmmmmm? Nah..."

Devil: "Like how nmany matresses have you seen on the side of the road in yer life? Hundreds. It's the American way..."

Bobert thinks, "Hmmmmmm?..." (No nah...)

Devil: "That's right, Bobert... The world is full of ol' matresses on the sides of the road. What's just one more?"

Bobert thinks "Yeah, I'm just doin' what any good American would do. Hey, no one saw it come of the truck!!!..."

Devil: "Good, Bobert, good..."

Well, about the time that the Devil thought He'd convinced me that it was okay to leave the matress on on the road that turn-around come up on Mission Holler Road an' without another thought I pulled over, turned around an' went back fir that danged ol' matress...

Now I'm not too sure why I think this is worth a thread an', truth be known, it prolly ain't... But, hey, I don't reckon that anyone can come along an' say, "We all ready did that one..."

So, what the hey???

Bobert

p.s. Ahhhhh, jus' fir the record, this ain't 'sposed to be no religion thread so leave that horse in the barn, thankee...

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: jacqui.c
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 10:05 PM

Nice one Bobert - at least you aren't adding to the crap that gets left on the road.

Must have been pretty tempting though!

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: GUEST,G-Spot
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 10:18 PM

Yes, been there too many times (once), and done that. I drove an old pick-up with a mattress tied on top of the load. Of course, my friend, the one who tied it, was back in the town I was moving from when his knots slipped and off it went. Heavy traffic behind me but the first driver saw what was happening in time & prepared for it. I stopped, as did three other vehicles behind me (one of which was an empty cattle truck). The mattress landed in a gunky ditch and was too nasty to load back on the pick-up. The cattle truck driver volunteered to load it in his truck & dispose of it properly.

I have been told it was because I was skimpily dressed (it was mid-summer!) that I received such friendly help, but I don't think so.

I have never thought of it in your terms, Bobert, but I'd have to say it wasn't the devil who showed up for me that day!

GS

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Alba
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 10:48 PM

You know Bobert you have made me think of sumthin,
How come I only ever see one Boot or shoe by the roadside. There's never a pair!
I mean how does some guy lose one boot or shoe off his foot and not know huh?

As for The Devil, The Mattress and The Turn Around. That sounds like the name of some racy novel to me:>)

You done a good thing getting the Mattress back Bobert:>)

Love to You and P-Vine
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: LilyFestre
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 10:55 PM

Good on you Bobert!

   My husband and I spend time each year cleaning up streams where folks think they ought to dump things like old washing machines, tires, garbage and yes, matresses. Thanks for picking up after yourself instead of leaving it to get soaking wet, moldy, smelly, bug infested and nasty for some poor soul to come clean up months later.

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: dianavan
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 10:59 PM

Well, I never lost a mattress on the side of the road but if you see an Icelandic sheepskin rug, its mine. I lost it in 1969 between Kirkland and Seattle and I didn't leave it there on purpose! On second thought, its probably more than a little gross by now.

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Alba
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:01 PM

See Bobert....just think of our Michelle and her lovely Hubby. Kind Folks like them would have had to deal with your old Mattress.
That's just confirmation that you done a good thing Bobert:>)
Love and Light to all,
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:04 PM

Cletus and Billy Bob had rented a truck for a move.

On a back road on the way to the new trailer they encountered a sign that said

           Low Clearance – 10' 7"

Not sure what to do, they stopped and measured the truck, which they found was 11' 4" tall.

Back in the truck they pondered the situation, and Billy Bob says "What do you think we oughta do?"

Cletus, who was driving, looked all around, checked the mirrors, and said:







"I don't see no cops around. Let's give it a try."


John

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: JennyO
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:33 PM

Bobert, were there any swamps round there? If so, you would have been doing the mattress a kindness - releasing him (assuming it was a male) back into his natural habitat, just like the mattresses of Squornshellous Zeta who like to flop around floopily in the swamps there.

He might have even had some relatives waiting for him - maybe even a pretty female mattress and they could have started a family, but no, you had to cruelly take him away! Bad Bobert ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:36 PM

Good thing ya picked it up Bobert. I hear old stained up mattresses left on the side of the road are DNA tested all the time. It would have come back to haunt ya. Probably would have picked you up by next Thanksgiving day or somewhere around there.

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Bobert
Date: 20 Jun 05 - 11:41 PM

Oh, the horrors, JennyO.....

Not... But good try...

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:35 AM

I say leave it. I went back for one once and later that night a spring let loose and stabbed me in the thigh a good inch deep. Waking up to the sight of impalement and the subsequent pulling my leg away from the spring and like a fish hook stretching my leg out a good 4 inches before the spring popped out, kinda made me quezy and I forced myself back to sleep.

Take it or leave it, the devil will getcha comin or going.

Subject: RE: BS: An old matress and talk with the Devil..
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Jun 05 - 12:54 PM

Well, we didn't go to religion, but we've dipped into ethics pretty good, and xenobiology, and forensic laboratory science. Not bad.

Dave Oesterreich