BS: Health and Fitness.

Subject: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: C-flat
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 11:57 AM

With Christmas just around the corner many of us will be worried about the long term effects of all that excessive drinking and eating.
This might help you.


HEALTH AND FITNESS - THE FACTS

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. If you need grain then eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain = Good

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?

A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable
oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the
middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: "Round" is a shape isn't it?


Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"



I feel better already!!

C-flat.

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 12:16 PM

Not only does this theory of yours knacker ones body but it also boggles the mind.
However, a good keep fat regime suits many these days.
Best wishes.

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: *daylia*
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 01:55 PM

LOL C-flat!

Here's some "musical fitness" news ... I never realized that even the laid-back "sport" of playing the classical guitar can be unhealthy until now. Spent hours and hours practicing some exciting new material last week, without bothering to dig out my old "foot stand".   I just crossed my right leg over my left instead, to raise the guitar to a workable height. Well, at 20 it didn't seem to matter at all but now? NOT RECOMMENDED!!!!

I've had one godawful sore hip / lower back for the last 2 days ... just got back from the chiropractor, in fact. Her treatment brought some instant relief, and she chastised me "No more leg-crossing! Prop up your foot with a phone book or two if you can't find the stand ... and give the martial arts routine a break for a few days too, will you!"

Cracks me up (quite literally) ... thanks for listening!

daylia

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Amos
Date: 16 Oct 04 - 03:43 PM

Oh, this is excellent!! Finally a belief system I can get behind!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 03:27 AM

Can I change the chardonnay for a pint of Golden Champion (Badger Brewery, available in Sainsburys, bloody marvelous) and the strawberries for chocolate please?

Mind you, not too keen on the skidding in sideways, I'd spill me beer!

I too am of the 'No pain = no pain!' school of thought.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 05:28 AM

Eating is for wimps.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Naemanson
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 06:21 AM

I agree with Amos, a regine I can get behind. Of course, it means getting drinking more...

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 07:11 AM

"my right leg over my left" I'd do the other way round, assuming I felt inclined to do it. Would you be a left handed guitarist?

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 10:09 AM

The only problem with being goddess-shaped that I've run into is that I can't seem to get my guitar as close to my body as I did in my youth. Even that cleverly designed tit holder on the top of the guitar doesn't seem adequate any more. ;-) (And where, exactly, DO I put the other one?!?)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 10:21 AM

There's an answer for that in this thread or one of the several which followed, Linn: clickety

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: *daylia*
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 11:03 AM

LOL Linn! :-) In my wild and wanton youth there was many a time I wanted a little more "fill" for that "cleverly designed tit holder" on the top of my guitar - but now? Nah. Life seems to have endowed me with quite enough to support and uplift as it is.

McGrath, I'm not left-handed but I sometimes feel quite left-footed! ;-) It's always worked better for me to cross my right leg over my left - probably because my left hand seems to do just fine without "supervision", while finger-picking with my right seems to require constant vigilance to be accurate. I studied violin/viola for many years in my youth - which seems to have trained my left hand quite well for the guitar as well, but not the right. Also, I learned to play guitar with a pick, not my fingers, and did so for quite a few years before I even attempted the classical style.

At least, those are my official "excuses" to date!

At any rate, it's now either foot-stand (for the classical) or shoulder-strap (for the acoustic). Cuz the ole Flesh and Bones DO RULE - no bout adoubt it. I don't want to be dealing with any more mutinies, believe me!

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Midchuck
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 11:40 AM

The only problem with being goddess-shaped that I've run into is that I can't seem to get my guitar as close to my body as I did in my youth. Even that cleverly designed tit holder on the top of the guitar doesn't seem adequate any more. ;-) (And where, exactly, DO I put the other one?!?)

Couldn't you hire someone to hold it up out of the way? I'm sure a young teen-aged boy would work cheap...

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 06:09 PM

HEALTH AND FITNESS - THE FACTS

The heart is an organ that is susceptible to damage if you don't take care of it. Cardiovascular fitness and diet is the best way to do so. I has nothing to do with just the amount of heartbeats. It will wear out less fast if you take care of it. Even cars were made to be driven sensibly.

Human digestion is different from cows. Red meat and animal products produce bad cholesterol and arteriosclerosis. Vegetables are known to be an antitdote to many diseases. They contain not only antioxidants but when ingested with variety, they supply all the nutrients a body needs to be healthy.

You don't need to drink alcohol. You can get as much nutrients from grapes themselves unfermented. Alcohol in excess is known to cause all kinds of problems from addiction to liver ailments.

Calculating fat to body ratio is flexible. The amount is dependent on the overall health of the individual.

The body was made to excercise. Modern humans are not able to do this in their day to day life unless they make an effort to do it.

Excessive vegetable oil is not good for you. As it is cooked, it creates trans-fatty acids which build up into the arteries clogging them.

Sit-ups are not the best excercise to slim down a tummy. Leg lifts are preferable. Yogic excercise can help. Mainly, don't eat so much.

It isn't chocolate that is bad for you. It's the stuff they put in it like sugar and caffeine. Chocolate in it's purest form is bitter but you can sweeten it with stevia, an herb that replaces sugar.

Swimming is an excellent exercise for cardiovascular health. If you are overweight, it won't bring it down but it will develop certain muscle groups.

Getting in shape is an obsession with our modern ideas of glamour. Overweight, however, is overweight and cuts down on your life span.
Muscular development however doesn't have to come from obsessive weight training or overdoing exercise. A reasonable amount of excercise is as good as overdoing. A half hour a day can help.

Eating bad food makes you feel bad afterward. You can condition yourself to eat healthy foods and enjoy the taste just as much if not better.

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 06:19 PM

The heart is an organ that is susceptible to damage if you don't take care of it.

So if you were born with it 'genetically modified' like mine, you're screwed then.... great... start digging that hole. (Is there a song in there?)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 06:36 PM

Liz, it still can be protected.

Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Health and Fitness.
From: C-flat
Date: 17 Oct 04 - 07:31 PM

Well thanks Frank for making me better informed. It looks like I just may have been wrong in my initial posting but now, thanks to Frank (what a guy!)I might still be able to save my sorry excuse for a body and be more like Frank (our hero of the day).
Who'd-a-thought that eating the right stuff, excercising and doing stuff in moderation could be actually better for your body than late-night binging, boozing and generally lazing about?
Frank, you're the man!


Even if you don't have a sense of humour you're still the man!


C-flat.