BS: A moose loose in the hoose

Subject: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Emma B
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 01:59 PM

On tonights (BBC) Six o'clock news..............

"Police in Sweden have ejected two rowdy drunks from an Old Peoples Home. The imposters were a moose and her calf; it seems they were suffering the ill effects of bingeing on fermented apples which had fallen from a tree in the homes grounds"

- you couldn't make this stuff up!
what about a song challenge?

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 02:04 PM

Thank goodness they weren't drunken elephants!

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 02:09 PM

Where's social services? Surely they aren't going to leave the calf with such an unfit mother. Some folks eh.

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 02:29 PM

oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose How lovely are thy antlers
Oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose How lovely are thy antlers
YOu only thought to eat for free the apples fallen from the tree
Oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose How lovely are thy antlers.


Oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose, they chased right out of the hoose
Oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose, they chased right out of the hoose
They say you were an unfit Mom, because you brought your calf along
Oh drunken moose, oh drunken moose, they chased right out of the hoose

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: RichM
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 04:49 PM

Drunk elephants kill six people in India

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Kaleea
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 05:04 PM

My Grandad, raised by his Uncle Tom-the local U.S. Marshall, grew up on the border of Texas & Oklahoma during the tail end of wild west days & most likely saw all kinds of things. (His first vehicle was a horse.) In all seriousness, I once heard my Grandad say, "Never leave the makin's fer your still lyin' around where jist inybody cud find 'em. Leads t' all kinna troubles."

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Leadfingers
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 07:41 PM

I recall a Wild Life film about an Oasis in Southern Africa which included a sequence of 'Drunken' animals when the fruit fallen from the trees had fermented ! Elephants , Wart Hogs , Baboons and all sorts ! Hilarious !!

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Cluin
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 08:05 PM

Drunken moose rampaging through the house? Ho hum. Just another day around here.

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Bard Judith
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 10:13 PM

An ancient Swedish mother moose
Went for a stroll one night.
Her calf and she unearthed a tree
With fruit of such delight

As made their bovine hearts rejoice
And caused them both to low,
The seniors there were in despair,
To see a calf in tow.

The apples ripely boozy were,
Of cider wildly stunk!
A lowing moose out on the loose
Is far worse when she's drunk.

And so the law was soon dispatched
To chase away the pair,
That from their bar were driven far,
But went without a care

For full ten pints of apple ale
Were sloshing round inside -
So very loose were calf and moose,
I wish I'd had their hide.

The moral of this ballad is,
If you are underage,
Eat not of fallen apples lest
Your seniors you enrage!

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Bard Judith
Date: 08 Nov 05 - 10:14 PM

Oh, and I couldn't resist this limerick (have no idea who the author was on this one - not me this time)



There wos a young lady of Clyde
Who ate rotten apples - an' died.
Th' apples fermented
Inside th' lamented
And made cider inside 'er inside.

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 04:33 AM

I could see that MMario's song went to the 'Tannenbaum', but I couldn't pick Judith's. But do Moose (Meese?) have BOVINE hearts, deer? Cervidly they do!

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: *daylia*
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 07:36 AM

Sweet mama moose! This may sound corny
Your looooong legs made him HUGE and horny
But then he left you all forlorny
With calf so small and sad

But Serpent said "Who gives a hoot?
Stick out that neck and eat this fruit!"
What happened then is none too cute
I blame the deadbeat dad.

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 12:18 PM

Sweden has a problem!

as you can see

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: GUEST,Mooseman
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 02:57 PM

I have a feeling that the Mooses were maybe there because some of the old men had put hay out for them. Please remember the following song:-

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I'd play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
'Till one day, my lady I caught with some churl,
Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

Chorus
Moose, moose, I likes a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had lots of lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Now when I'm in the mood for a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

Chorus...

Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight.
But it's just not the same when you slam your caboose,
As the feeling you get when you humps with a moose.

Chorus

I've done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it's just not the same when you screw with a moose.

Chorus

Now that I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.

Chorus...

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 03:47 PM

Ever see a hummingbird that's been at the fermented sugar water? You'll gain new appreciation for the adminition "Straighten up and fly right!"

Subject: RE: BS: A moose loose in the hoose
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 09 Nov 05 - 05:36 PM

Guest Mooseman....it would appear that they like other things besides hay! Sad that the people there had to get them drunk first...