Obit: Diane Easby (May 2013)

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Aug 13 - 09:33 PM

GSS, turning the discussion away from the subject of the thread has been the problem, is what has made it unrespectful.

Dear Readers,

The thread is being moderated and it will remain an obituary thread. If you were a friend or have a memory that contributes, then please post it. If you have the desire to change the subject, your posts will be deleted.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Chris Murray
Date: 31 Aug 13 - 07:43 PM

Sorry Lizzie. I made a mistake and I haven't looked at the board for 10 days now so didn't realise that an apology was expected. I accept that my comment might have sounded flippant and out of place but I genuinely thought for a moment that you were really Good Soldier Schweik. I don't post on Mudcat much now (too much unpleasantness) so I'm a bit out of touch. It wasn't meant as a criticism of you - I misread your comment, for which I sincerely apologise. Yes, I should have checked it properly - and I will in future.

As I said, Diane would have laughed at me for being so stupid but she wouldn't have thought I was being malicious. I'm not.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 09:34 AM

Thank you for your apology, Chris.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Rahere (Jeremy Main)
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 04:50 PM

Bonnie,
I've been away on the Continent for a good many years, you may just remember me in the Jack Hayward gang in the 80s. After singing with CSH's House Choir for a year, I've just met up with a new Singer's Club at Bowes Park, and live not far away, at Oakwood (ie within a couple of miles of Diane's home). Your word is, of course, good enough for me. I don't greatly follow MudCat, so I've only just woken up to this, but I'm posting this as although it's too late to do any real good now, none the less there are folks on the ground who might be able to help if it turns out there's something needing to be done. I certainly discovered Borchester's postings and felt they made sense.
The Bowes Park club's only just started, under Cath Perry (used to run the CSH Saturday voice group) and Mary Blake. So I guess if there are loose ends, there are folks who can help without too much hassle. For example, her Facebook page remains open, so I'm wondering what happened next. Sometimes if they're hunting for heirs, the funeral may be deferred. Does anyone who knew her know if she had a family to take care of matters? If they don't know, don't suppose, the last thing anyone would want want is to impose. But on the other hand, if she were to face a Rigby funeral, I'd think we might want to do something about it.
I'll check back here in the morning, unless anyone really knows I'll check very quietly with the hospital - I'm passing in that direction anyway.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 05:31 PM

Hi Jeremy - lovely to touch base again.

Sadly, Diane died back in May. The shock you sense here is that none of us knew about it until now. Chris and I left Facebook messages etc back in the summer, which went unanswered. And now, a lot of questions still go unanswered and probably always will.

I don't live in the UK anymore (the news of your singers' club makes me homesick!) but you can email me - bonnieharp att hot mail dott comm, send a message through Facebook, or - if you join this site - a personal message ("PM") here, though I won't be at my computer tomorrow.

I want for all that was best in Diane - and there was a lot - to be remembered and live on after her; and what was worst in her to be forgiven.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 06:41 PM

Many thanks, Bonnie. I'd heard you moved back, their gain is our loss.
Sometimes in such cases progress is slow: I'll ask quietly at the hospital tomorrow, probably through the chaplains, so the rest of the story can be found out, as far as possible.
I'll post anything I discover here. She did a lot to carry the flag and the rest of her tale should be told.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Chris Murray
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 06:58 PM

When Diane was ill a few years ago, Lizzie started a thread on Mudcat. Diane's brother contributed to it. I daresay you can find the link on a previous post.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Sep 13 - 08:11 PM

You're right, Chris, and he left an email address. I've dropped him a sympathetic note offering your condolences, asking him to tell the tale.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 12:27 AM

Further to my last, I'm a tad cautious about the contact: a background check implies he's in his early 40s, far younger than Diane seemed to be, and unless anyone actually knows what their relationship actually was, I'd be cautious about taking it quite for granted, because there are aspects of his life which may explain his comments about estrangement. It's even possible he may not be aware of her decease, so I'm going to check with the hospital chaplains anyway, just to be on the safe side.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 12:31 AM

I want for all that was best in Diane - and there was a lot - to be remembered and live on after her; and what was worst in her to be forgiven."
well said,Bonnie, that is exactly how i feel, the last correspondence I had with Diane was passing on a message to her that her brother was trying to contact her, She sent me a note thanking me.
I feel sadness for any older person living in London or any big city alone,cities seem to have lost any community awareness.
I still feel sadness about her death.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Rahere
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 02:47 AM

Might I check when, brother Schweik? Sadly, her own brother was very much your companion in arms, and clearly had the same problems resettling back into civilian life so many of their peers have: his LinkedIn page shows a recognisable pattern, in that when he was in contact here claiming to have been out of contact in Afghanistan, he was supposedly a security supervisor in Canary Wharf! I'll let you know what I discover.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 03:55 AM

Rahere...here's the thread I started a while back, in which Diane's brother posted...

Diane ill - Thread

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 07:09 AM

Rahere, this is David Easby's email...the one he left in the thread I linked to, above...

[e-mail]

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Sep 13 - 11:57 PM

Some downright weird posts have been deleted because they don't have to do with the obituary, they are part of a far-fetched expedition suggested by a guest.

Rahere, please stop posting your speculative stuff. This is an obituary thread for a woman who died several months ago. Leave her and her friends in peace.

SRS

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 13 Sep 13 - 04:45 AM

Rahere does not speak for me. I have no reason to believe that the accounts as given originally are not correct.

My last statement.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 14 Sep 13 - 09:59 AM

May I just point out for anyone who's interested that Diane did not live in the Borough of Enfield.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Jack Campin
Date: 14 Sep 13 - 11:50 AM

I looked on iannounce.co.uk, which compiles death notices from newspapers around the UK, and nobody's put one in any paper for Diane.

If the original source on Facebook, whoever it is, has access to a death certificate, can they do that? (You need the certificate or a copy of it to insert the ad).

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 14 Sep 13 - 12:35 PM

Everybody, please. Just stop. Diane is not missing. Her brother is in full possession of the facts and he is dealing with the matter. The reason he didn't do so sooner is that he didn't know until recently.

I have confidences to respect and would ask all of you to do the same. There is no mystery. Just a bereaved relation who would like to be left in peace to get on with the matter. As Diane should be left in peace to rest.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: GUEST,David Easby
Date: 26 Sep 13 - 04:41 PM

Hello all,

I am Diane's brother. We had no sight contact for over 40 years but had communicated via email since she had the trip to hospital 2 years ago whilst I was in Afghanistan. I have, today, had full disclosure from the Coroner's Office. The lady in the flat next door had not seen her for best part of a week and informed the Police who gained access on 14 May 2013. She was certified dead at 0047 15 May. The result of the Post Mortem on 17 May was that she had suffered a massive stroke. Our mother had several and I had a minor one some years ago. Fast forward, I have arranged for a cremation at New Southgate Crematorium in Brunswick Park Road N11 for 1545 hrs Wednesday 30 October 2013. There will be no religious ceremony, as Diane had no affiliation, apart from Working Men's Clubs (CIU).

I would ask that all friends, web contacts, those who had been taken to task (a huge audience, if I remember Diane) and anyone else who knew her would be so good as to attend this event to mark her passing.
I was asked if there was any music she liked to be played during the event. I am sure that you all know much better than me (it was the 60's), so if you would bring some CDs I am sure that some could be played. I am sure that we will hear some SD!

Whilst I was in Afghanistan I thought that it was about time I tried to find out where the big sister was and to try to re-establish contact, this was achieved. However, after my return, despite many emails to her, a meeting was not to be. Hindsight is twopence a bucket.

I look forward to meeting Diane's acquaintances and to give her a good send off.

This can only happen once, so please be "on parade."

With many thanks,

David Easby.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Sep 13 - 05:41 PM

I will try my best but it is a bit of a trek from Yorkshire and we may be minding the grandkids that week. I would like to pay my respects in some way at least so please keep us posted, David, and if anyone arranges a fund for her favourite charity let us know how to contribute.

Thanks for getting in touch.

Dave.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Sep 13 - 05:43 PM

Hello David,

Thank you very much for letting us know what happened, and for making the arrangements- which can't have been easy for you.


I never met Diane in person, only on this forum. I hope a few others who are within striking distance may be able to join you on 30 October to mark her passing.

Best regards,

Noreen

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 08:14 AM

I can't tell you how much I wish I could be there, but I'm unlikely to be able to make the trek from Ireland at that time. However, I will certainly be present in spirit - sitting quietly and thinking of her at the appointed hour. I will then raise a glass to her memory (not for the first time) and sing a verse for her.

The last time I did this was in my garden at sunset. And it sparks a memory which may be appropriate to relate here.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I had been out in our back field planting blooming things and nourishing things. But I had to fly to California unexpectedly, to attend my 95-year-old father who was suddenly taken seriously ill; and he died while I was there. So I spent much of the summer away from my plants.

One of these was something the garden centre had given me without charge, because it was in such poor shape. The man said I was welcome to take it if I thought I could do anything with it, so I brought it home and moved it into a larger pot, with plenty of water and soil-enriching food, and put it out in the sun. But still it ailed and drooped, barely hanging on to life. Then the news from California came crashing in, and I had more pressing things to deal with. I left Michael in charge of looking after everything and flew away.

Upon my return, I went outside to visit everybody and see how they were doing, and all were in rude good health except that one, which remained brown-tinged and spindly. I thought about permanently relocating it to the compost heap, but when I picked it up and looked closely I saw that it wasn't quite dead; and something in me recoiled from tossing a living thing on the trash pile. So I went the other way, filled up a bigger planter with fresh earth and more water, and moved it to a new spot, sunnier and calmer, less windy. And…

It took on a whole new life. Suddenly it started sprouting buds, the brown turned to green and the blossoms multiplied. Every time a bloom faded, three more seemed to take its place. It reminded me of someone constantly singing, for the sheer joy of it. The flowers are still going strong as I type this, on a grey, unmistakably autumn day. By now you may be wondering the name of this plant that has so wholly resurrected itself:

Dianthus

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 12:17 PM

Nice story, Bonnie!

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby [borchester echo] (2013)
From: Kampervan
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 02:00 PM

I wonder if details of this meeting should be posted as a separate thread, there may be lots of people who would like to attend, but who have looked at this thread earlier and, for various reasons, might not look at it again.

K/van

Subject: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 02:19 PM

Perhaps the mod could change title to indicate to those who have strayed from the thread that a service is now planned?

Title changed to alert readers to the upcoming event. --mudelf

Subject: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: The Sandman
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 03:08 PM

I live in Ireland, so I will not be able to be there, but I will be with you all in spirit. Dick Miles

Subject: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: GUEST,highlandman at work
Date: 27 Sep 13 - 04:06 PM

Thank you, David Easby, for setting on an even keel what was becoming a rather wobbly thread....
You have my personal condolences.
Like many I will be unable to attend but certainly will observe the moment on Diane's behalf wherever I am at the time.
Regards
-Glenn

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: GUEST,Chris Murray
Date: 28 Sep 13 - 07:35 PM

I'm glad Diane's brother has answered a few people's questions.

I know Lizzie has left Mudcat but I hope she's reading this thread as I know she'll want to go to the funeral.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Anne Lister
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 11:56 AM

Thank you for this - I too will be unable to be there, but I am so glad it is taking place. I will be thinking of Diane on that day and at that time, and will raise a glass to her memory.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 29 Sep 13 - 12:09 PM

David, I'll try my best to get there...just looking up details on the Mega Train/Coach page (I'm down in Devon)...

Thank you for posting the details and if I can get there, I will see you on the 30th.

PS: Probably best not to play any Show of Hands songs, else Diane will send a thunderbolt down to me. :0) xxx   Much love to you. xx

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: The Sandman
Date: 30 Sep 13 - 09:00 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 03:24 AM

refresh again

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 04:16 AM

Thanks David - depending on whether I am back from Scotland yet, I will try to make it.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 10 Oct 13 - 11:10 AM

Scroll down...

Bus/Train/Car/Satelite travel details for the Crematorium

I'm having mega problems tying up train/bus times with getting home again...and I can't stay overnight as I need to be back for Thursday morning, early...

Ho hum...will keep working on it though....

Subject: Diane Easby Funeral 29 Oct/3:15, Darlington Crem.
From: GUEST,Alan Easby
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 12:58 PM

IMPORTANT NOTICE

The rearrangement of Diane Easbys funeral will take place at Darlington Crematoriam on October 29th @ 3.15pm. Hopefully this will be convenient for those travelling from Yorkshire, and for those travelling from Ireland like myself I can recommend the rail and sail tickets available for £63 to anywhere in the UK. C.D s of the greatest hits of the 60s will not be required and no one will be required to go on parade. We look forward to meeting some of Dianes friends and tales of the sister we never knew.

---

I tried to make this more visible, and changed the thread title (allowing for the allowable number of characters. If it could be better, please let me know. --Jeri

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 01:52 PM

A lot nearer for me. Just work in the way now so have to see what I can do! Hopefully see you there Alan.

Dave

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 02:15 PM

I'll be there.

Joan Crump

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 03:14 PM

[scuse shouting]:
CAN A CLONE PLEASE AMEND THE DATE INFO IN THE HEADING? ALSO NOTE DIFFERENT CITY

I still won't be able to make it over from Ireland - not just the distance but also time off from work - but will be there in spirit and memory.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct 3:15 Darlington
From: maeve
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 03:18 PM

As Bonnie has said, the heading needs to change again so those who are able to attend will get the word in time. Thanks, moderators!

"Darlington Crematoriam on October 29th @ 3.15pm." from Alan Easby.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; info on 30 Oct cremation
From: GUEST,surreysinger sans cookie
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 03:32 PM

Seconded, Bonnie. You got there before me. Could a Mudelf please ensure that the changed location is also put in the heading ?
I only met Diane in person the once, when she came to a local concert of the John Dipper Band, and our online relationship was a little variable, but I had hoped to be there to pay my respects. The change of date and location now make that a no go for me personally, but I hope that there is a good turnout for her.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 22 Oct 13 - 08:28 PM

For whoever has this thread on a tracer, take a look and check that it still is. Mine got unlinked somehow, presumably because of the thread title change. So you may have to click Trace again if you want to keep following it.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: GUEST,Folkiedave
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 11:59 AM

I'll be there and a one or two of her other friends too.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 01:05 PM

I had planned to be at New Southgate on 30th but finding it difficult to plan around the new date.

As possibly the oldest connected mudcatter (knew Diane in the mid to late 60's and worked wth her at CSH in 1969/70) I will try to find a way to be there. Will check all available options tomorrow.

Will be there in thoughts if it doesn't work in actuallity.

Kevin

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: GUEST,Chris Foster in Iceland
Date: 23 Oct 13 - 05:36 PM

Sadly Bára and I will not be in Darlington next Tuesday. It is a big disappointment, as unlike many of the contributors to this thread, I met Diane in person, stayed at her place many times and corresponded in between times. She was good company, and a generous host with a keen understanding of the needs of a musician on the road. I know that she also offered hospitality to many other musicians needing a place to stay in London.

I do not visit Mudcat very often and normally never write here. However, just for the record, I'd like to say that the way I discovered, back in August, that Diane was dead was that having become increasingly worried at her lack of response to emails, Facebook messages, snail mail and also having failed to make contact by phone, I asked a friend to go round to her flat. On getting no answer to the door and seeing a big pile of post through the letter box, he called the police and they came round and upon checking their records, they were able to tell him that she had died in May.

When he relayed that news to me, I contacted Haringey Council and also managed to find an email address for her brother David that had been posted on here in 2011 at the time when I found Diane collapsed at her flat. (Some regulars here will remember that event) I sent him a message to express my condolences and to ask for more details about the circumstances of Diane's death and also the whereabouts of her grave, so that I could go and pay my respects. It turned out that he didn't know that she was dead. We have since kept in touch by email.

He contacted Haringey Council to find out for himself the circumstances of Diane's death and discovered that the council were still holding the body, as they had no contact details for family members or other people to notify. He then went ahead to deal with the situation and upon hearing that I would be on tour in England in October, he very kindly fixed the funeral date and time to coincide, so that Bára and I could be there.

Now that the original London funeral has been cancelled and a new funeral arranged up north a day earlier, I will not be there as Bára and I will be on our way to London on Tuesday.

We will be thinking of Diane and rest content that she has not had to know about all the strange and above all very sad events of the past 5 months, since her death.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 24 Oct 13 - 11:02 AM

I can't get to Darlington, so I'll say my goodbye to her in my own way on the day.

I hope that all goes well...

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 24 Oct 13 - 11:04 AM

Chris, do you have ANY idea what happened to Diane's cats?

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: The Sandman
Date: 24 Oct 13 - 12:16 PM

Well done Chris.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Oct 13 - 03:30 AM

Chris, I'm so sorry that you're now not able to go to your friend's funeral, especially as you were the one, above all others, who kept in contact with her and whom she trusted enough to form a good friendship with.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Kevin Sheils
Date: 25 Oct 13 - 06:36 AM

Have been able to shift a few things around and now plan to be there.

Subject: RE: Obit: Diane Easby 2013; 29 Oct, Darlington Crem.
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 25 Oct 13 - 08:22 AM

Wish I could. Raise a glass to her for me, Kevin. Always hoped we three would do this again together in some pub or other.

Ironic that the person probably more deserving (if that's the right word) than any of being able to attend her memorial service won't now manage to. Maybe if Chris and I are ever in the London area at the same time (about as likely as the Transit of Venus, I suppose) we can round up Kevin and anyone else who's interested, and gather for a drink in her name. Something to think about anyway.

The Dianthus flowers I wrote about earlier are still blooming.