BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 01 Oct 09 - 10:01 AM

Neighbors on Buffalo Jump Road were in a dispute over a ditch. One said he wanted tear down his neighbor's dyke with his tractor. A deputy was able to get the neighbors to resolve the issue "without any damage to the property."

Three highly intoxicated men were chasing each other around outside, then inside a bar on North Rouse Avenue. All three gave police different accounts of what had taken place. All three were warned.

A man on Mandeville Lane and Wheat Drive reported a porcupine was getting close to a day care in the area.

A man on East Peach Street said his keys had been thrown into the bushes and his wife had locked him out of the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 03 Oct 09 - 10:53 AM

People thought a man boiling water in a parking lot on North Seventh Avenue looked suspicious.

Loud music was causing vibrations in a building on Blackbird Drive around 11:30 p.m.

Big horn sheep were in the road near a curve on Gallatin Road, causing a hazard.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 04 Oct 09 - 12:05 PM

Some men were heard singing together on an unintentional 911 call.

A dog outside of a business was growling at employees trying to enter the business.

A man dumped his trash in a business's dumpster after being warned that he wasn't allowed to use it.

An officer assisted someone in getting his identification back from a bouncer.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

Three horses without brands that were loose on Cottonwood Road were corralled.

A man accidentally sent a fax with personal information to the wrong number, then sent another fax asking the recipients to destroy the previous communication. A deputy informed the man that since no crime was committed, he couldn't subpoena the information.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 05 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM

* A caller reported that a man had broken into his home on North 5th Avenue through a sliding glass door and the fell asleep in the house.

* A resident on South Black Avenue reported that his home was broken into by someone cutting through a screen window. Nothing was taken, but the thermostat had been lowered.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A man called to request that deputies arrest his son on suspicion of theft. The caller said his son may have stolen a wallet from a family friend and that his son is either very tired or on drugs.

* While a deputy was buying lunch at Albertsons, he witnessed an uncooperative shoplifter. Upon seeing the deputy, the offender ran and was subsequently tackled to the ground and placed under arrest. The deputy returned to recover his lunch.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:59 PM

* A man pulled out a butcher knife to cut his meal after being served at a restaurant on North Seventh Avenue.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man whose vehicle got stuck in the snow around 1:30 a.m. wandered lost for about an hour before a deputy was able to find him in the Big Sky area. A bellman gave the man a ride to the resort where he had reservations.

* Parts of a drum set were stolen from a garage.

* A person, who appeared to be doing CPR on the side of Interstate 90 around 6:30 p.m., was cutting up a dead bear.

* A man burying a dead horse hit a natural gas line.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM

* A driver who was reported to be possibly intoxicated turned out to be delivering newspapers and not drunk.

* A group of kids who were reportedly destroying playground equipment in Kirk Park were merely playing.

A man called from a restaurant to report that he had been behaving bizarrely earlier in the day, yelling at neighbors. He was told that no one had called to report it and he went back to the Chinese restaurant where he had been eating.

* Police spoke with some men near Crabapple Drive about their flying activity. They told the men they had to operate their paraglider at or over 500 feet when flying over a populated area.

* A woman inadvertently dialed 911 while trying to take a picture with her cell phone.

* A man reported that his vehicle was damaged by a pumpkin.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A 14-year-old told a deputy that he "got bored and took (his parents') car for a drive." The boy did not have a license. He was cited and his parents were called to pick up the car.

* A man filled his backpack with wine and left a store in Big Sky around 10:30 a.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:01 AM

* A neighbor complained that a garage band was playing loudly. He said it was an ongoing situation and was "getting old."

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks was notified after someone reporting finding an elk that was shot on a golf course.

* Hunters had questions about who gets to tag an elk after two hunters shot and followed it when it didn't die and a third hunter shot it dead.

* A grizzly bear had two hunters up a tree after one of them shot an elk. The bear eventually left the hunters to eat the dead elk.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: 3refs
Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:14 AM

DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." Gault says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location.

The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to Gault. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? "

Gault nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.

A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull.

With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get " Horned " before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. Gault throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs.....

" Your badge. Show him your BADGE!!!"

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Nov 09 - 07:36 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

A student reported that a hard drive was stolen from a locker at the high school.

A black bear was spotted in a park near Cherry Drive around 1 p.m.

Police returned a backpack that had been left in front of a home on East Griffin Drive to an elementary school student.

A woman reported that "things were amiss" in her home.

Someone turned an outside faucet to a home on, flooding the basement.

A woman heard noises outside her window.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

An inmate was taken back into custody after he broke a sprinkler head in the jail while he was being bonded out around 6:30 a.m.

A caller said neighbor children were being excessively loud -- so loud the caller "could not eat dinner nor watch television" around 7 p.m.

A driver that appeared to be driving while under the influence was having mechanical problems. A deputy gave him a ride to his home in Belgrade.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 12 Dec 09 - 01:42 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* Two intoxicated MSU students were cited for being minors in possession of alcohol after threatening a pizza delivery man over being shorted a sandwich around midnight.

* Two juveniles were charged with burglary after a man saw them leave his house and go into his backyard. The boys had marijuana pipes on them. The two were also cited for theft and possession of drug paraphernalia among other charges. They were released to their parents.

* A woman with "a hat pulled down over her face" didn't even slow down at a stop sign and almost hit another driver.

* A person said a neighbor's German shepherd mix uses their yard for a bathroom daily. The dog's owner was warned.

* A man said he accidently sat on his phone inadvertently dialing 911.

* A man said several people called in to a radio show saying they wanted to beat him up after he called in and expressed his opinion.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* Someone rifled through a man's vehicle over the weekend.

* A laptop and a wetsuit were stolen from a locked vehicle parked in an employee lot at the Yellowstone Club.

* A driver on Interstate 90 saw a flare go off in the cliffs near Frog Rock near the Trail Creek interchange around 4:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 22 Dec 09 - 06:12 PM

There seem to be a lot of issues concerning Christmas decorations.

--

* A woman was outside having a cigarette on South 12th Avenue around 2:30 a.m. when she heard "someone running and breathing heavily and banging things around. It was so heavy, it sounded like a bear," she told a dispatcher.

* Bones unearthed by workers digging for a new city complex on East Griffin Drive turned out to be those of a cow.

* Christmas lights were taken from a home on Michael Grove Avenue overnight.

* Other Christmas lights were stolen in the middle of the day from a residence on Cover Street.

* Christmas decorations were also taken from residences on Meriwether and North Seventh avenues.

* A Belgrade resident reported that neighbors were hanging Christmas lights and fighting around 10 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 11:52 AM

Garbage is a recurring theme in reports published today:

Someone put garbage on a man's truck.

A man took an item off a shelf in a 19th Avenue store and tried to return it for cash.

A woman said someone came into her house and moved her pictures.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

A woman said someone hit her neighbor's trash can, spewing garbage all over her driveway.

A suspect got off with a warning after agreeing to clean up the wall of the house the suspect previously pelted with paintballs.

A garbage can was stolen from a residence on Gallatin Road.

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.


A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Midchuck
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 02:19 PM

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.

Isn't that what living in Montana is all about?

(Nyuck, nyuck)

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: gnu
Date: 24 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM

People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk.

A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads.

Hmmmmm.... tit for tat?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 25 Dec 09 - 08:38 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Wednesday included the following:

A dispatcher heard "the Peanuts Theme" in the background during a 911 hang up call.

An officer found a stolen vehicle and returned it to the owner.

An employee stole a gift card from a store.

A 26-year-old Bozeman man, a store employee, was arrested after he was caught on video stealing money from the till.

No one was seriously injured when a driver rear-ended a police officer while the officer was waiting to make a left turn at North Church Avenue and East Main Street.

Police warned two people after they were reported "arguing, pushing and flipping each other off."

Four teen boys were skiing on church steps and the railing around 10 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM

An officer spoke with a driver who had stopped at a nativity scene on North 19th Avenue at 11:23 p.m. and was blocking a lane of traffic.

A man complained that fireworks going off somewhere downtown were bothering his dog.

A 17-year-old girl was reported to be throwing plates at her father after he tried to take away her computer.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Bobert
Date: 27 Dec 09 - 04:32 PM

True Story:

Arrested: Danny Presgraves

Occupation: Page Co., Va. Sheriff

Charges: 22 Felonies included several for sexual harassment of subordinates, taking bribes, Obstruction of justice, racketeering and money laundering

But here's the kicker:

Even though Danny was facing over 200 years he copped a plea to one charge, the other 21 were dropped and he will begin servin' a 19 month sentence in January... Talk about some pissed off women who he forced to, ahhhhhhh, nevermind... Welcome to rural Virginia, folks...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 29 Dec 09 - 03:46 PM

* A dispatcher heard people speaking about making peanut butter balls during a 9-1-1 hang up call.

* A "convention" of dozens of snowmobiles were parked on "everyone's property" near Mule Deer Road around 4:30 p.m.

* A deputy checked on a man "wandering in the meadow drunk" around midnight.

* A caller wanted to know what to do with a grocery cart left on a neighbor's lawn on South 10th Avenue.

* Teenage siblings who were fighting with each other were separated.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 31 Jan 10 - 10:45 AM

The manager of a downtown bar found a wallet containing a fake ID on the dance floor and asked officers to come pick it up.

A driver was stopped for trailing an extension cord plugged into the engine block heater behind the vehicle, creating a potential hazard.

A man who had been pulled over by officers several days ago said that his machete was missing after officers searched his car.

A wrecked Chevy Suburban was stolen from a local car lot.

A driver was stopped after chasing a herd of elk from the roadway into a field. In addition to DUI, the man was cited for "Harassing Big Game Animals with a Vehicle."

Big Sky Ski Patrol transported a man off the mountain who had been skiing without a lift ticket.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Friday included the following:

- A green Subaru almost hit a man carrying a tuba in a crosswalk on Babcock Street around 1 p.m.

- The owner of a black Labrador was cited around 1 p.m. for having an unlicensed dog after her dog was reportedly growling and "pooping in yards."

- A woman asked for assistance in moving her vehicle around 8 p.m., because she believed the vehicle parked behind her was too close for her to move without "ripping the license plate off." There was no damage when she eventually moved.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

- Eight people refused to leave the third floor of a county business and began "tearing signs off of the walls" around 4:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 11 Mar 10 - 02:30 PM

* A reportedly large, loud group of people were gathered around a bonfire in a condominium complex parking lot in Big Sky around 1:30 a.m. A deputy found it was only a "handful" of people who were "sacrificing to the snow god." They were told to quiet down.

    * A driver reported that a truck in front of him had trash flying out of the back of his tarp-covered truck bed. The truck's driver was warned.

    * A dispatcher heard only a toilet flushing when calling back a 911 hang up.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 11 Jun 10 - 11:58 AM

# A man found passed out on a church lawn downtown was taken home and the stolen cue ball in his pocket was returned to the bar it came from.

# Two men were warned for sleeping in a department store. One of them was only partially clothed.

# A homeowner was warned about a loud party after a neighbor reported hearing loud singing coming from the home around 4:30 a.m.

# A bear was seen in the backyard of a home on Graf Street around 11 a.m. "minding his own business, just wandering around."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: LadyJean
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:02 AM

I've lived most of my life in the city, where the police are called for shootings and robberies.
Now I live in a suburb, where the guy next door called the cops about a bees nest on my back porch, and they came.

The old gent next door has lived his entire adult life in the borough. He knows the mayor, and most of the council.

He also has trouble backing up his minivan. I have learned to keep at least four feet between my car and his van.

A friend stopped by one evening, and parked his car right behind the gent next door's minivan. He complained to me. I assured him my friend would move the car, then we went back to well...what we'd been doing.

Half an hour later a cop banged on my front door. My friend and I dressed hastily. The cop informed my friend that he would have to move his car. He did, with the neighbor looking on. Afterwards I said to my friend, formerly of U.S. Special Forces, "Mr.... was in Korea, that's something you should know about."

"Korea," says my friend brightly, "Really! What regiment were you in?"

I went inside, poured myself a Coke and found my knitting, knowing I had achieved peace in our time.

But I do miss the city, where the police are called for robberies and shootings, not cars that are in somebody's way.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:37 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

    * An apartment dweller said someone was "bumping" around 12:30 a.m. and that the noise is an ongoing problem.
   
    * An officer checked on a man seen standing in the rain for "an abnormally long time."

    * Windows of several vehicles parked on South 12th, 13th, 15th and 16th avenues were broken and items stolen from them.

    * A naked man was reportedly hiding in trees near the trail to Peets Hill behind the library around 4:30 p.m. Police did not find the man.

    * Police warned people for having a skateboard ramp in the middle of South Ninth Avenue, blocking traffic around 5:45 p.m.

    * A moose was on the loose near the hospital on Haggerty Lane around 8 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following:

    * A man turned in a gun he found in the Absarokee Mountains.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 01:52 PM

LAW AND ORDER. . . From Ear's favorite police blotter, in Dutch Harbor: "05/18/10 Tue. 2227 Domestic Disturbance ... Officers mediated a dispute between two men in a boarding house after one man, who had failed to clean his rice pot this morning, found it in his bed when he returned from work. The petty squabble continued, with the second man repeatedly pulling the plug on the microwave as the first man tried to heat his dinner. Officers asked the two men to make an attempt to behave like adults."

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvC1DyK


"06/05/10 Sat. 2133 ...Husband was concerned that his wife might be a danger to herself due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed this evening. Midway through this report, the wife took the phone from him and reported that her dumb husband was cheating on her and sending her hard-earned money to his foreign girlfriend. Officers determined that the couple's marital difficulties had not escalated to a point where further police intervention was required."

Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvLKEHe

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 13 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

    * A man wanted officers to be aware of his disgruntled views toward a bar.

    * A moose was wandering around North Church Avenue around 7:30 a.m. and later became "kind of trapped" in a man's backyard on Fridley Street. Police were unable to find the moose.

    * A moose was spotted in the wetlands near the end of East Main Street around 2:30 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

    * A barefoot man was sitting alongside Gallatin Road around 9 a.m. and was hitchhiking. He was playing the harmonica and either waving at or flipping off drivers passing by. He eventually got a ride.