BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!

Subject: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 11:37 AM

My buddy Shane McBride from Blind River has finally mastered the air guitar after about 15 years of flailing around in a drunken stupor, waving his arms, and making contorted gestures with his fingers while uttering high screechy sounds to mimic heavy metal feedback and distortion.

He is available for bookings at clubs everywhere.

Guaranteed to draw a big and enthusiastic crowd. Guaranteed to sell enough booze to float a boat.

Call OldRoadKill Productions in Blind River, Ontario, Canada and book Shane to appear at YOUR folk club or local arena SOON!

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 11:48 AM

HEY! This flippin' thread should be in the fl9ippin' music part, like above the line, eh? What the flip is goin' on here? This is dis-flip-iskrimination!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 01:39 PM

We'd sure like to book him to play the Legion Hovel, iffen ya kin garuntee he'll do them flippin' and floppin' and stuff onstage. The boys 'n' gals have bin lookin' fer a good movin' targit fer some time.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 01:43 PM

He'll do it if the pay is right. What are you offering? He needs travel expenses too, so don't forget that.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: gnu
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 02:07 PM

Beers and smokes and a one way ticket to Fort Severn?

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 03:02 PM

$50, a carton of smokes, a keg (15 gallons) of beer (REAL beer, not piss like Budweiser), a bottle or two of rye whiskey, a bowel of M&Ms with all the red ones removed, his own private motel room complete with running water and a flush toilet, and transportation here on a private jet.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 04:57 PM

Holy FLIP! You are ON, man! I will flippin' BE there! Just gimme the date, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 05:05 PM

Can he play barre chords? (I've never mastered them myself.)

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 05:26 PM

I cna flippin' play BAR cords on air gittar like no flippin' tamoorow! I gotta lotta expeeriyens dealin' with bars, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 04:35 PM

How about the week between Christmas and New Years?

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 04:41 PM

Ifn you want real beer...come to Suffolk England!

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Ed T
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 05:31 PM

I knew a Scot who played the pipes while he ate haggis....

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 08:48 PM

And vice-versa...I know a Scot who played the pipes while a haggis ate him.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 09:12 AM

You know, if I don't hear from what's-his-name real soon I'm going to have to offer the gig to the It Depends (they used to be called The Soggy Bottom Boys).

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 11:01 AM

Shane has already indicated his enthusiastic acceptance of your generous offer, Rapaire. The only thing remaining is to pick a date.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 11:42 AM

I've already offered him a week-long gig. That would include everything mentioned above every day (except for the jet transportation, of course).

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 09:49 PM

Well, since we didn't hear from Shame the Legion has booked the groups Butthole Surfers and Celtic Goatherds for the Christmas Week festivities.

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 19 Oct 09 - 10:33 PM

WHAT THE FLIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!   HEY! I said i would do it! ARe you backin' out? What the flip is goin' on here?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: He plays air guitar and proud of it!
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Oct 09 - 10:14 PM

We posted dates for your appearance -- the week between Christmas and New Year's. You never replied, never said anything about whether these dates were okay with you or not. The Legion had to get the festivities lined up, so you lost out to the Butthole Surfers and the Celtic Goatherds.

Perhaps, just perhaps, and I'm not promising anything, The Commandant might possibly maybe be able to work you in as the opening act for the Surfers or as the Goat for the Goatherds. But dude, you snooze you lose, ya know?