Dating websites

Subject: Dating websites
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 05:41 PM

I'm curious.

I am acquainted with some people who have discovered their inamoratae (or inamorati) on dating websites, but when I was young to join such a website would have been grossly embarrassing if discovered, an admission that you could not pull.

I've in consequence (I have an enquiring mind) idly browsed through a few and they seem to be populated (I can't speak so much for the men, they interest me less) largely by the hideous, those with huge amounts of adverse baggage, potential bunny boilers, gold-diggers including those seeking subsidy for their children; and ladies of the night. Where I have looked at the details of men (not out of my personal interest, but to see if I could where someone was "coming from" (no pun intended)) they seem to be largely bitchslapping B*N*P members or at least those that way inclined - or determined notchcarvers.

Is use of such things socially acceptable?

Are the mass of the world really as crass as that?

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 05:47 PM

I object to the reclassification of this as BS by an eager elf.

It seems to me that this is a perfectly proper topic for a modern folklorist.

I designated it folklore and I think that it is folklore.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: bobad
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 05:52 PM

"You can't always get what you want
But if you try sometimes well you just might find
You get what you need"

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:04 PM

You seemed to have missed the stump jumpers and stump humpers.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: maple_leaf_boy
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:32 PM

I'd say these sites are acceptable. Plenty of fish and Zoosk are
commonly used. People have found great success with it.
The great thing about Plenty of fish, is that it's not just for people
who are looking for relationships. You can put in your profile that
you're just looking for someone to talk to or looking for some new
friends. Some people who are already in a relationship use Plenty of fish, because they just want to meet new friends.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:53 PM

I know I'm a geek, but I'd prefer to date a woman ....

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Bill D
Date: 05 Oct 10 - 06:55 PM

"I think that it is folklore. "

?...and anything that horses don't sing is 'folk'?

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:06 AM

a friend's son met his partner there. They are both very busy 30-something IT professionals (but not boring geeks, they are lovely friendly people.) I don't how many people they considered before they met. They said they know a lot of people who use these sites to meet a partner.

A friend of my age used a dating site. First I knew was when she phoned to tell me she was meeting a stranger & wanted someone outside her closest circle to know where she was going & who she was meeting. She emailed his details & called me next day to say that he wasn't what she was looking for. He fitted her criteria but after having dinner with him she realised that the info she provided about herself was not quite right & he wasn't someone she wanted to spend more time with. She hasn't mentioned updating her profile, or meeting new men so I assume she left the site.

sandra

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Ernest
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:08 AM

Maybe Richard should have asked if it is more embarrassing than having to admit that you like/play folk music....

NOW you can put it above the line...

;0)
Ernest

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Anne Lister
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 04:38 AM

Richard, as someone who is quite happy to admit I met my husband on a dating site, all I can say is that in order to find him I had to kiss (or encounter, at least) a certain number of frogs and toads. There were a lot of totally unacceptable individuals on the dating sites, many of whom made a lot of noise about themselves, and I was lucky in finding my true love on his first or second visit as he was already thinking it was the wrong place for him to be. I had stuck with the site because I had found, among the various frogs and toads, a fair selection of good and congenial people who became my friends.
Which is much the same as life in general, when I come to think about it. Just as I wouldn't expect to find many bosom buddies by standing in the High Street - the internet is just another aspect of Real Life. I developed a set of criteria by which I assessed each new "candidate" ... and I was amazed at how many men managed to "forget" essential data such as attached wives, even though I always made it clear I didn't want to meet anyone with current partners.
I am, however, delighted to say that my husband not only passed all of my assessment criteria but surpassed them all (and continues to do so) and that I obviously passed his quality test as well. We would never have met without the internet, despite having many interests and several acquaintances in common. And I'm not ashamed in the slightest to admit to how we met.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Will Fly
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 11:01 AM

I've known a number of people who, at first glance, you would think had no need to use dating services - internet or otherwise. Good-looking, intelligent, decent income, several intellectual interests - why on earth would they need such places?

Well, the fact is that sometimes factors like work pressures, where you live, social skills and other personal matters make it very difficult for some single people - particularly women - to meet and greet potential partners. I say "particularly women" because, unlike men, several women have told me that they wouldn't - for example - go alone for a drink into a pub. I would have no qualms about going out to a strange pub for an evening for a drink - quite often have to when there's a gig involved - but it's not as easy for a woman. This is not necessarily my personal attitude, by the way - merely what I've been told.

So, if someone can find happiness on such sites, good luck to them - and good luck to you, Anne, for being one of those people.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Max
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 08:39 PM

"Good-looking, intelligent, decent income, several intellectual interests - why on earth would they need such places?"



I have a web server in my living room. Which means... that YOU are all in my living room... all the time...



that's why



(keep it down tonight)

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Amos
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 08:52 PM

Well, your living room is a LOT nicer than Plenty-of-Fish, Max.... :D

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Oct 10 - 10:53 PM

Hey Max, I think we're almost out of onion dip.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Big Mick
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 12:17 AM

Who farted?

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: John P
Date: 08 Oct 10 - 01:57 PM

I was on some dating sites for a while. What I found was about half the women were looking for a man who made a lot more money than they did, and about half the men were looking for women who were a lot younger and prettier than themselves. Of the rest, about 75% put me off by what they said in their profiles. The remaining few were nice, interesting people that I didn't have enough in common with to have anything more than a nice evening.

So I switched to a specialty dating site. In my case, a vegetarian dating site. I met my partner there. We've been together three years, have never had a fight, and now own a house together.

As for why I tried the dating sites, I was recently divorced after 22 years of marriage, played in a couple of bands, had a full time job, and had already thought about and rejected, or been rejected by, almost every woman I knew. I didn't have time in my life to join a book club, go to dances, or even take a class. The dating sites were an efficient way to screen and meet new people. As soon as I got on a specialized site, I found my dream woman on my second date (after lots of looking and screening).

Maybe it already exists, but I've often thought that a dating site for folk musicians would be a nice thing. Maybe it would be commercially viable if it was for all musicians, broken down by genre, but then there probably wouldn't be a category for folk . . .

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: gnu
Date: 23 Sep 11 - 05:28 PM

So... my buddy says he and his wife visit this site and it's totally free (no, I don't understand that either, to a certain extent) and it's for hookups of any kind. So... I was havin a few ales and I plugged in my profile and "signed up", complete with a photo, and said I was looking explore dating. I also said I was new to this, hadn't been in a relationship for well over ten years, would be taking this ALL in VERY slowly and might not even decide to meet anyone. If I did, it would be in a neutral zone and only for a walk and a chat.

What the heck? Sommat to do eh?

Now, I am getting a bunch of women who send more than one message which I answer politely explaining AGAIN that I am just testing the waters with this internut dating whatever thing and may never date again. They are "pushy".

Did I do the wrong thing?

How do you meet chics? (Guys for the girls, of course.)

Kendall... no leather jacket stuff... I am sure it's "other" stuff.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: John P
Date: 23 Sep 11 - 05:43 PM

How do you meet chics?
Uh, gnu, you respond to one of the women on the site and meet them. You're there, theoretically, to meet women. The women are there to meet men. You can take advantage of that. You can't test the waters without getting in.

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: Bill D
Date: 23 Sep 11 - 06:46 PM

"How do you meet chics?"

If all you want is 'chics'(sic), you go to bars or street corners...

If you want to meet nice, compatible women with whom you 'might' form a mutually enjoyable relationship, you go somewhere where there are people who share your interests...and you go there FOR the interest, not just for the possible women. (I went to a folk club...found 2 or 3... married one of 'em 30 years ago)(tractor pulls and flower arranging groups might work, depending...)

There are legions of failed relationships based on careless attention to what the parties really care about.

The more explicit way to express this warning is: "Be careful about going to bed with anyone whom you wouldn't enjoy OUT of bed!"

Subject: RE: Dating websites
From: gnu
Date: 23 Sep 11 - 06:54 PM

It's all tongue in cheek eh?

Of course, that could be... nevermind.