BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!

Subject: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 12:38 AM

So here's another thing to run out of batteries. God help you if the machine goes wrong and throws a wobbly.

What the article does not give is a spiffy name for the condom putter onner.

Maybe 'Acme third hand' or just 'Luuuuv machine'

I want to see this one on the shopping channel!




Fit your condom sans the embarrassment!

Asian News International
London, April 18, 2005

To reduce the hassles before sex, Senegalese inventor and businessman Mor Maty Seck has designed an automatic condom fitter that allows condoms to be put on in a fraction of the time it usually takes to do manually. The device, which is on display at the International Exhibition of Inventions in Geneva, has reportedly been drawing huge crowds of businessmen and investors.

According to Fox News, It has been such a success in the inventor's native Senegal, that its now being sold internationally, and already has offers from European businessmen who want to team up to offer it in Europe.

According to inventor, people are generally very shy over talking about contraception, and a lot of them face problems while using it, leading to acute embarrassment in front of their partners.

The automatic condom fitter, he claims, fits in a second and does away with the embarrassment factor.

"People don't like to talk about contraception but there are a lot of men who find condoms difficult to use, and it can be so embarrassing that the moment is completely lost, my auto condom fitter guarantees not more than a brief second's pause in the action, with a bit of practice the man's partner probably won't even notice that he had reached over and used his trusty auto condom fitter ", the report quoted. Seck as saying.

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Peace
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 12:46 AM

http://www.superiorshores.com/condo/images/27outer.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 01:31 AM

Interesting...a pretty good idea if it works ..wish I'd thought of it

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Shanghaiceltic
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 04:14 AM

So no batteries......just a wee ring.

Shopping Channel should be able to demo this easily.....

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 08:45 AM

Will it do balloon animals too?

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 09:56 AM

Brucie:

Forgive me if I'm being dense, but what does the picture of the house signify in this thread?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:01 AM

I want to be the lawyer representing people whose machine fails and things go horribly wrong.

Suggested product name: The Mangler!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Peace
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:16 AM

I was giving a picture of a condo. I fit it onto the thgread. I was condo fitting.

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 10:20 AM

But how embarrassing must it be if you can't get your condom onto your condom machine?

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:08 AM

As I figure it, the ring thing draws the condom onto the, well, shaft. But then how do you get the ring thing off?

Wire cutters?

SNIP! "YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Sorry, dear, I'm not in the mood right now, and may never be again."

Brute strength?

Ugh, grunt, groan, argh!....snap! Pant, pant, pant, pant....

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:42 AM

Pant, pant, pant, pant....

Well that's the problem, Rap, the pant is in the way. . .

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 11:48 AM

it don't say if them plastic rings come in sizes. That could be important.

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Peace
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 03:01 PM

This has got to represent the epitome of laziness. LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 03:05 PM

Oh Bill, just make your own-- hose clamps come in all sizes.

The one pictured looks kinda like an egg ring.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Susu's Hubby
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 03:14 PM

Picture this.......


The wife comes home from shopping.

She enters the house to the soft purring of an electrical machine from the garage. She opens the garage door and there stands her husband turning the machine on. He turns the machine off. He turns the machine on. He turns the machine off. He turns the machine..............




Hubby ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Azizi
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 03:48 PM

The inventor of this condom fitting machine is from Senegal?

Well what do you expect from such a creative culture!

See this excerpt:

The Senegal is a country rich in musical values and the number of occasions that are used to gather around the "griots" or clapping your hands and sway your hips in rhythm delights a public often very numerous. Each ethical group has his music and his instruments that are their own.

Modern day and world famous artists include:

Youssou N'Dour
one of Africa's most important performers. His music has reached a world wide audience through collaborations with artists like Peter Gabriel, Neneh Cherry, and Branford Marsalis.

Baaba Maal
a uniquely talented singer from Senegal. He's equally at home with an acoustic guitar playing traditional folk music or playing the hottest international dance music. He's finally emerging into the international spotlight as one of the world's hottest performers.
negal is the home of Senegal!

For more:

Senegal culture

And for photos of Senegalese culture, see here

Senegal Fashions



So from now on when I do presentations on the culture of Senegal should I include information about the condom fitting machine?

Naw..I'll save that for a presentation on inventions people don't need.

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 04:43 PM

Takes all the fun out of it.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 04:48 PM

"... hose clamps come in all sizes..."
indeed! and if they're tight enough, they aid in contraception!

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 04:49 PM

(hi Bill)

Subject: RE: BS: Start the machine dear..I'm ready!
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 05 - 05:02 PM

*creak*...."just....one....more .....turn"