Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 15 May 00 - 10:57 PM

Art, the trouble with the juice harp is that they can take a chunk out of your tooth and/or bite your lip. I gave up on those little hummers years ago.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Sailor Dan
Date: 16 May 00 - 04:29 PM

Lil Neo;

Don't be upset by these guitar players, Isn't it just awful that some guy has to hold a female shaped instrument that he can strum with his fingers to feel sexy as his mind runs to exagerations.

Now having a banjo in your grasp is like having a lean mean playing machine that needs control. Either male or female.

And with that I think I will go back to work

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 16 May 00 - 06:38 PM

Why Sailer Dan, you are so insightful.
Then I guess playing a banjo is kind of like taming a wild stallion.
That sounds like a hot passionate endeavor to me.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: black walnut
Date: 16 May 00 - 06:46 PM

keeping a banjo in tune is kind of like taming a wild stallion.

now, a dobro in the right hands....

~b.w.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 16 May 00 - 07:45 PM

PICTURE THIS ~~ It is a warm late spring evening, there is a full moon and you decide to visit your girl friend. You go over to her house, ~ stand by the white picket fence. ~ toss a pebbel on her upstairs window. She opens the window and ...... you pull out your 5 string banjo and launch into "Foggy Mt. Breakdown". (now that would certainly win her heart).

Of course if you are in to OLD TIMEY you might want to try something like "Shoot the Turkey Buzzard". A tenor banjo player may play something like "Waiting For The Sunrise".

Sailor Dan ~~ when you are my age the guitar thing is about as good as it gets. I should probably confess that I also play 5 string and tenor banjo's. There are some really beautiful tunes that can be played on the banjo if you don't try to tame them by beating them to death.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mbo
Date: 16 May 00 - 07:50 PM

No no no Cap'n! You'd play In The GoodOld Summertime, And The Band PLayed On, When You Wore a Tulip (And I Wore a Red Red Rose", "Carolina in the Morning," "Little Girl," "Lover's Lane" (by the Squirrel Nut Zippers..awesome banjo playin'!) Well that's what I'd play if I knew how to play! Banjos may not be sexy per se to some folks, but they're DEFINATELY romantic!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: black walnut
Date: 16 May 00 - 08:09 PM

neo, you know that i know that ALL instruments are sexy and probably especially the banjo, and that i have nothing against the tuning of banjos. neigh, nothing at all. don't fret that.
(only a harp player could be so nice to a banjo)

~'nut

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 16 May 00 - 08:59 PM

black walnut, you hit it on the noggin.
All instruments are sexy because they reflects the musician behind it who are naturally sexy.
Captain Crunch should do some scientific research on that theory.

Little Neo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 16 May 00 - 09:28 PM

Let's hear it for the ukelele!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Sailor Dan
Date: 16 May 00 - 10:09 PM

Hey Capt Bob

Are you older then Methuselah,, I must be near that age and believe me, sometimes you have to tame the stallion to have contol. You dont lose anything by gaining control and the fire is still there even though you make real sweet sounds. Even sneaks out once in a while.

But instead of Foggy Mt, you could play, We'll meet again sweetheart, or Greensleeves or the flower of mexico, or Wheels, or Raindrops keep falling on my head. Lots of sweet things.

They tell me this drum with a stick nailed to it can really make sweet sounds.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 May 00 - 10:46 AM

MEEBO-------

"Banjos are....DEFINITELY romantic."

I'm beginning to get a handle on what's wrong with your love life............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mbo
Date: 17 May 00 - 12:16 PM

There ain't nothin' wrong with my love life, Spaw, and I'd advice you to lay off, pally boy.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 May 00 - 01:28 PM

Spaw & Mbo, I want you two to make nice. Mbo, get a dictionary. Catspaw, go hammer your dulcimer.

McGrath, I always thought that men found those topless beauties strumming ukeleles and wearing grass skirts sexy. Another vote for attitude?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 17 May 00 - 01:40 PM

"Topless beauties strumming ukuleles and wearing grass skirts." Hmmm... you think it was the ukuleles that made them sexy?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 May 00 - 01:47 PM

L'il Neo,

The banjo, having all those polished chrome surfaces, is the ONLY instrument that CAN reflect the musician's behind. Kind of like a rear view mirror--right?

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 May 00 - 01:50 PM

L'il Neo,

The banjo, having all those polished chrome surfaces, is the ONLY instrument that CAN reflect the musician's behind. Kind of like a rear view mirror--right?

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 17 May 00 - 01:52 PM

I think the range of expression available on guitar is much wider. Try playing a convincing version of Bessame' Mucho or The Girl from Ipanema on banjo....see what I mean? Now, when it comes to Turkey in the Straw, I admit the banjo wins hands down. But have you ever heard of using Turkey in the Straw to coax somebody into the sack? I mean, outside of Catspaw using it on the local girls when he was at Berea?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 17 May 00 - 02:11 PM

Art, how did you know I used it to put my lipstick on?

Little Neo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 May 00 - 03:25 PM

Art - Double post/2 cheeks?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 May 00 - 03:49 PM

Well the thought of in a grass skirt is not one that had ever occurred to me...

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 May 00 - 04:08 PM

Actually I didn't use Turkey in the Straw.....I think it was The Unquiet Grave as we went at it on John G. Fee's gravesite.

And Meebo....stick with guitar and don't be serenadin' with a banjo iffn' ya want to actually make use of yer tool....No, not the tuning wrench.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Art Thieme
Date: 17 May 00 - 06:17 PM

There is a good and quite telling article in the current issue of THE OLD TIME HERALD (Vol. 7, No. 4, Summer 2000 that asks many musicians about their first instruments and how they remember those. Even the banjo players and the fiddlers and the mandolin players ("mannolin" as Bill Monroe used to call it) remembered a GUITAR with more affection than the instrument on which they achived their notoriety. Even old $10.00 STELLA guitars, like my first one, were mentioned with great fondness and nostalgia. Many of the reasons are similar to ones posted in this thread.

The article by Gail Gillespie is titled MUSICAL AFFAIRS OF THE HEART : OLD TIME GUITAR TALES. There will be other articles in future issues with the other instruments as the star, but the guitar was just about everyone's first instrument and therefore seems uppermost in folks' minds and hearts.

Art Thieme

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 17 May 00 - 07:57 PM

McGrath ~ I'm sorry that I failed to use the scientific approach on the "Ukulele". I have five uke's and two of them rate right down there with the banjo ~ both the pineapple shape and the banjo shape are ZERO'S sex appeal. However, my NOBILITY UKE measures in with a:

7/10 Chest ~~~~ and a 7.5/10 hips

according to the formula the Nobility Uke has the most sexy shape of all of my instruments.

There seem to be a lot of banjo players out there who are stallion "tamers". I actually wonder how many of you have ever attempted to "tame" a stallion?

I have owned six horses over the past several years. The 2nd happiest day of my life was when we bought horses for the kids. The HAPPIEST DAY of my life was when we got rid of the last horse. BANJO PLAYERS TAKE THIS TO HEART maybe the happiest day of your life lies ahead.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 17 May 00 - 11:00 PM

Captain Crunch,
Do you take a scientific approach to your wife too? Taking her measurements and comparing them to your instruments?

Just wondering,
Little Neo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Sailor Dan
Date: 17 May 00 - 11:13 PM

Capt Bob

As a horse owner, YOU should know that you dont tame a stallion, you learn to control him. As a controller the happiest day of your life is the day you ride him under control knowing full well that all hell could and would break loose if you relinquish that control.

Just like a banjo and a boat, all full of piss and vinegar but thoroughly enjoyable under control

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 17 May 00 - 11:18 PM

Of course I do Little Neophyte ~ actually all men do this but do not tell their wives about it. To keep it a secret we use the hands to do the measuring. The span (about 4 inches) is the distance across the palm of the hand. The inch is the width of the thumb. six inches is the distance from the tip of the thumb to the tip of the little finger. By moving the hand around a bit a feller can get all of these measurements and the wife never has a clue about whats going on.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: zander (inactive)
Date: 18 May 00 - 10:30 AM

Alan, Shirley Collins is sexy, full stop.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Kim C
Date: 18 May 00 - 01:06 PM

Drums are sexy. There's something very primal about a good, rhythmic beat.........

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Cap't Bob
Date: 18 May 00 - 01:50 PM

Sailor Dan

Of course I know that full well Sailor Dan. Why do you think I put the "~~~~" around "tame". Earlier in the thread some of the folks said that you had to "treat aa banjo like a wild stallion and "TAME" them". Apparently none of them had ever been around horses before.

Cap't Bob

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 18 May 00 - 10:24 PM

Simple question. Just imagine to be IN THE PLACE OF THAT INSTUMENT, regardless whether you're male or female. A banjo is a thing hanging from someone's neck. A guitar may be too but often it is hugged...EMBRACED...FROM BEHIND(!!!) Forget about the shape - that is only to make it more comfortable.

To guitar players: ever tried to handle someone the same way you handle your guitar? You can try the western style with its (her/his) waist on your right knee (easier to beginners) or the spanish style on your left knee (more acrobatic). Maybe it's not a good idea to use a bottleneck. DO NOT USE A CAPODASTER! Prefer fingerpicking to plectrum techiques but consider using picks (some like it harder).

A joke? I'm absolutely not sure. To me girls with cellos are very sexy (even when I see them carrying their instruments on their backs) and I remember of getting a little jealous when I saw my girl friend falling in love with a bassist (she ignored the guitar player completely). Just see that from the point of view I explained above...

Also, learning to play the guitar mostly urges you to learn singing, too, and that ist an additional factor. A guitar enables you to perform a song alone, without any additional accompaniment, a banjo much less. A banjo is played from inside a band, and only in bluegrass music its player is the 'primus inter pares'.

Joerg

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: BanjoRay
Date: 19 May 00 - 12:11 PM

Girls with cellos are very sexy? Wasn't it Sir Thomas (Tommy) Beecham the conductor who pointed at a lady cello player and shouted "You've got God's gift to mankind between your legs and all you can do is scratch it!"

Cheers

Ray

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mbo
Date: 19 May 00 - 12:16 PM

Hey, you bet girls with cellos is sexy! Cellos is sexy! Girls are sexy! Girls with instruments is sexy! Girls with saxophones is sexy saxy city!

--mbo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 May 00 - 12:22 PM

Mbo, Cello means the musical instrument not cellophane.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Kaleb
Date: 19 May 00 - 12:23 PM

Preach on brother MBO!!!
There's nothing sexier than girl playing a kick-ass fiddle tune.

-Kaleb

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mbo
Date: 19 May 00 - 12:28 PM

You got it, Brother Kaleb! And I could mention one or two other instruments besides sax and guitar that girls ROCK on! ;-)

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 21 May 00 - 08:33 PM

Mbo, you're right. Girls with saxophones ARE sexy (besides the fact that any girl making music instead of only liking it is sexy anyway). But WHY??? A clarinet is not the same (same mouthpiece, so don't tell me the old jokes again). What's the difference between a saxophone and a clarinet (or a recorder or any other instrument that also can be considered to be s***'d YAWN!) Any idea?

Joerg

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mbo
Date: 21 May 00 - 09:09 PM

Dunno Joerg, but clarinet was one of the other instruments I was talking about...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Irish Rover
Date: 22 May 00 - 03:55 PM

You Guys Jeez, It's not the insturment itself that's sexy it's how you touch it. you could have the most sexy person in the world interested in you, but touch her wrong and you're alone. same is true of insturments.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 22 May 00 - 10:52 PM

YES, Irish Rover, I think you see what I was trying to explain. The question "Why are guitars SEXY and banjos not" means "Why do we think being touched like a guitar is the right way to do it, and why can't the guitar be replaced by a banjo?". WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? This difference seems obvious to me for guitars and banjos. Personally I notice an even stronger effect with cellos: A girl with a cello transfers to me an impression of ACTIVE tenderness without any bitchy allusion, and that is what really works. (That doesn't mean I object to girls behaving bitchy when they seem to do it with their heart - this works nearly the same way.) I was completely confused by Mbo mentioning saxophones because (TO ME!) there is also a difference between a girl playing a saxophone and a girl playing a clarinet, and I am unable to figure out, why. Well, this might be a very a quite personal impression, but are there people who share it or similar ones? And is there something common that applies to the difference between guitars and banjos, saxophones and clarinets or whatever? Can I learn from musical instruments how humans want to be touched? Even better: how to tell humans that I want to touch them the right way?

Joerg

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 00 - 11:02 AM

ah...indeed...touch & technique mean more than which instrument..Think about a banjo being frailed,,,then about some gentle, tasteful melody pickin'...Then imagine a guitar being whanged in some beginners version of "The Sloop John B", as opposed to a soft, finger picked love song where the fingers sort of caress the strings...Even a properly done mandolin vibrato can be quite sensual....

so, with that said, I am off to practice triple-tonguing my recorder...

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 24 May 00 - 09:21 PM

Mhm, Bill D, I think you are on the right way to do some music of the kind I'm interested in if you just remember that it's not speed that does the trick but the feeling ;). (By the way - what is triple-tounging? I'm a guitar player so how should I know?) However, what you are saying is confusing me again. You don't change the instrument, you change the final result. Is a guitar more sexy than a banjo BEFORE you play it or AFTERWARDS - i.e. once you know what music can be done to/with it?

Joerg

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Hilary in NZ
Date: 25 May 00 - 07:36 AM

i s'pose all this doesn't look too good for bodhran players. (although I do have some rather phallic looking beaters)

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 25 May 00 - 09:28 PM

Non sequitur, Hilary (I'm trying HTML now, let's see how it works). A bodhran is just an example that being beaten does not always mean being touched wrong. (Oww!! I can only hope that I'm not beaten for this myself.)

( Let's quit joking for a moment:

There's rhytm but there's also RHYTM! Some are quite easy but there are some you have to put your whole soul into just to avoid to be as boring as so much else, and when the conditions are wrong and you can't get the right feeling at that very moment you will fail. I've seen bodhran players BENDING OVER their instruments in deep concentration, CARESSING them with their left hand, needing their WHOLE STRENGTH to keep their right hand moving, and I saw ECSTASY on their faces when they experienced MANAGING THE PROBLEM by that. Would have been much sexier if they just had been female.

Back to joking now: )

Well, if you misuse your phallic looking beaters to misuse your bodhran...

Joerg

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 25 May 00 - 09:32 PM

It worked !!!!!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: bflat
Date: 25 May 00 - 10:04 PM

I had the pleasure of watching and listening to an intimate concert of the talented Michael Smith. As he worked his guitar his pectoral muscles moved with the rythem. Never saw this before in a performance. It was sensual to say the least. PAUSE....just thinking about it tells me why a guitar is sexy.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Hilary
Date: 25 May 00 - 10:21 PM

Joerg -

I think that makes me feel better...

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Joerg
Date: 26 May 00 - 10:57 PM

Hilary -

I think that makes me feel better...

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Hilary
Date: 27 May 00 - 03:48 AM

i love the way this thread has WAY the most postings of anything on today - 147 and I think the nearest was the sicko headstone thread with 100. Amazing what the word SEXY will do in a title.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: lajka
Date: 27 May 00 - 05:14 AM

*smiles*

The taste is diffrent. Me, myself is more intressted in the musican,if he are sexy or not......

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mooh
Date: 27 May 00 - 07:43 AM

Guest, Hilary,

What's so sicko about the headstone thread? Hardly anybody took it as an opportunity to take the Ebenezer Scrooge route and think about changing their lives so that it's reflected on their headstone. The way some folks act nowadays, it seems they think little about how they will be remembered and memorialized. That aside, 100 responses ain't nothing compared to this thread...

I prefer guitars, but that's me. I once had brief possession of an Orpheum tenor banjo with the sexiest fingerboard inlay that really turned my crank, and a hide head that felt divine. Shoulda kept it.

Peace, Mooh.