Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Sailor Dan
Date: 27 May 00 - 09:00 PM

Moooh,

maybe you should have kept that Orpheum, then you would have been the sexiest of the guys here

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Mooh
Date: 28 May 00 - 09:21 AM

Sailor Dan, I do have a picture of me with it somewhere. My good woman didn't like the sound of it (or any other banjo for that matter) so I wasn't exactly encouraged to keep it. Funny, that's never stopped me before.

Now a guitjo (like the Deering) would be a welcome addition to the household, but maybe that's not sexy either way.

Still grazing for a banjo. Moooooh.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Spider Tom
Date: 29 May 00 - 06:49 AM

Are there any laws against this rediculous misuse of the word "sexy"
Lumps of wood or steel bronze and wood can't by their very nature be sexy,
they can be plucked fondeled strummed or splintered but they can't be sexy (well maybe in a crutchless gig bag, or a black leather shoulder strap)
But you'd want to be desperate, If you were there is a problem with either, one has a hole but no skin and the other has skin but no hole, maybe two highly oversexxed instruments could be mated and we could breed,guitarjos or bantars.GET A LIFE *GB* Spider Tom (snuggling up to a small curvey guitar)

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: The Shambles
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 06:30 AM

Having seen on TV last night Billy Connolly and Ricky Tomlinson both 'out' themselves as banjo players, I tend to think it is the player rather than the instrument..

Interestingly, Billy Connolly expressed a great admiration for Eric Clapton and his wish for his name and photo to appear to appear on Eric's fridge......

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: The Shambles
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 07:29 AM

Perhaps I should explain the last bit.

Billy saw a signed message to Eric, from that other well-known banjo playing sex symbol Bob Marley, saying "I shot the sheriff".

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 02:25 PM

Finding anything LESS sexy than a banjo would be quite a challenge...

Why is this thread over 150 posts long and still going?

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: flattop
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 02:29 PM

How about a harmonica?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 02:39 PM

Take off, eh? Harmonicas are dead sexy! The more harmonicas the better!

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: flattop
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 03:05 PM

Only a pervert would find and instrument that you suck on and drool into sexy.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 03:09 PM

Uh huh. It takes one to know one!

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: flattop
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 04:01 PM

Such profound wit! Next you'll be resorting to name calling, Little Shit Hawk. Why do I feel like I've been pierced through the ear with a Marine Band reed?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 06:58 PM

I absolutely love setting you up for comebacks like that, flatso! Hee! Hee! How's the weather down East?

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 07:18 PM

Yeah, there's nothing sexier, Little Hawk, than a harmonica player sucking back yesterdays phlegm-filled bacteria colonies that had been doubling in number every 20 minutes until his spittle cooled and dried.

The weather is great here in North Sydney. I watched three cruise ships leave the harbour today. Amazing to look out the kitchen window and see a big white hulk moving slowly over the waves.

Not having a phone installed is great too. No one bothers me all day. Walking to the library to insult you is a bit of a nusiance but well worth the trip.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 07:23 PM

Oops, that's me, flattop.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Celtic Soul
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 08:15 PM

Based on sound and shape of instrument, it is a little like comparing Betty Boop with Jessica Rabbit.

:::giggle!:::

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Stev
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 12:01 AM

Let's face it, a guitar's not the image enhancer it used to be. I'm concerned I look like an idiot most of the time I'm walkin down the street case in tow. I'm puttin my chips on my little SS-10 open-back. She caught my eye up there on the rack from the get go and we've been takin advantage of each other ever since.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 12:12 AM

I agree flattop, that not having a phone is a blessing in disguise. Not having a computer is too, truth be told. The happiest week I can remember in a long time was spent in Cuba sans phones and computers.

It's nice to know that you are willing to walk all the way to the library to insult me. I'm flattered. I'm only willing to walk half that distance to insult you. Fortunately, the computer is here in easy reach.

North Sydney, eh? Neat. I'd love to see the ships going in and out too.

Now, the hramonicas...well, I have developed a technique which greatly reduces the amount of spit going into the harmonica...almost none at all...but germs? Lots of germs! Yes, and they reproduce at a shocking rate too! But do I care? No. However, I don't like playing other people's harmonicas, for that very reason, nor them playing mine either.

Look, let me know when you get a decent haircut (so I can be seen in your company), and I will see if I can make it down for a visit and sponge off you for a couple of months. It'll be like old times! I'll play all those great song parodies that you love so much and you can show me around town to all the hot spots in North Sydney.

Beauty, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Gillie
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:56 AM

What about banjolins and banjalaies?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Stev
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 08:56 PM

yep, I was banjalaid once.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,SINSULL
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 09:08 PM

Jed Marum with banjo...end of discussion!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 09:12 PM

Now, Mary, don't assume you can end a discussion on Mudcat quite that easily... :-)

Sorry to say it, but I don't even know who Jed Marum is!

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,SINSULL
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 09:19 PM

Now whose fault is that? But I doubt you would find him sexy...then again, I don't really know who Little Hawk is.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 09:33 PM

That's the whole problem with virtual reality right there. Well, I'm a thin Canadian folksinger (or maybe ex-folksinger) who likes Dylan, Baez, and Buffy, and studies a lot of spiritual stuff, but that still doesn't tell you much.

I've had a lifetime of fascination with North American Indian history and culture, and I believe in reincarnation.

Still doesn't tell you much.

Ah, what the heck. I don't know who you are either.

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Bluebeard
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:59 PM

Well...somehow I missed this earlier discussion, on the annual trip back to the UK I think. Been playin' 5 string banjo most of my life. Met lots of women as a musician. It ain't the instrument you play, it's the person who plays and the way they play. Too many people think one can only play bluegrass or clawhammer on a banjo. Pick it and stroke it on a song like "The Lakes of Pontchartrain". Sexy as any instrument on earth!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 24 Oct 01 - 10:08 AM

I suppose you could reduce the spit but keep the germ count high by playing it with a lower orifice, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 01 - 01:03 PM

I never cease to be amazed at your lurid imagination, flattop! How does the ocean look today?

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 24 Oct 01 - 05:11 PM

I think that guitars are generally associated with romantic mood music and banjos are not. The sensual music of the bossa nova, the French chanson, the Spanish classical guitar, the South American or Mexican romantic tune has a lot to do with the chordal harmonies and the lyrical melody played on the instrument.

Lyricism can be played on a banjo but is not often done. Generally, the sound is exciting and not conducive to the easy soft strumming of a guitar which in my view is generally sexier.

There are certain love songs that can be played on the banjo that might be construed as being sexy but even then, the instrument quality in it's timbre just doesn't quite match the lyricism of the guitar.

Violins and guitars tend to the kind of music that is considered romantic and sexy whereas the banjo and accordian and fiddles are fun, exciting and not particularly sexy with perhaps the exception of the French chanson or the Slavic and Russian tunes played on the accordian. One musical instrument style refers to candlelight and the other to bright stage lights or a rustic back porch.

Of course this is gross generalization. The biggest question has yet to be answered, sexy to whom?

Frank

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Gillie
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 08:38 AM

Sarah Grey can make the banjo look sexy!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 01:16 PM

The ocean looks like sarah, gray.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 02:11 PM

Sorry, Little Hawk, I should have said, 'blowing it with a lower orifice.' I still don't believe in all those tricks that you claim to perform.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 02:30 PM

Being sorry isn't good enough. I want a cash settlement.

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 03:11 PM

Money, money, money. Always a mercenary, Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 06:28 PM

flattop - You scum-sucking varmint! You obscure, profane, incompetent wretch! You have all the charm of a vulture perched on a dead pig's ass. All decent people scrupulously avoid your company, and disdain your witless attempts at humour. You are lower than smegma. You are vile, mundane, and utterly without class. To actually insult you is impossible, because nothing can be said about you so awful that it is not true. You, sir, are filth. Unregenerate filth.

How's that? Better? I await your next missive from the library, assuming they have the bad judgement to let you in the door again...

*(visitors to Mudcat should be cautioned that these ongoing exchanges between myself and flattop bear little or no relation to the other material on this or any other thread, and should not be taken as pertinent to the general scene in any way whatsoever...)*

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: hesperis
Date: 25 Oct 01 - 06:41 PM

Sigh. "these ongoing exchanges" bear little or no relation to anything at all, much less anything even half-reasonable.

Men will be boys... immature ones, at that.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 26 Oct 01 - 01:47 PM

Must have been the word 'money.' Don't like people knowing about your secret desires, Little Hawk?

A doorknob can be sexier than a harmonica, well maybe a keyhole, depending on your preference and you frame of mind. Are you spending a lot of time staring at the keyhole these days?

I was thinking last night that some flies have 9 lives - as I chased one around the apartment. It's not just kats.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Gillie
Date: 26 Oct 01 - 04:19 PM

To Guest 01.16pm 25th inst

THAT wasn't nice!!!!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 01 - 04:33 PM

That "Guest" was flattop. He's slumming at the library, and keeps forgetting to identify himself.

There are more flies where that one came from, flattop, so behave yourself. My secret desires have never wandered in the direction of keyholes, but there is a line in one Dylan song about that, actually...

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Oct 01 - 07:53 PM

"all the charm of a vulture perched on a dead pig's ass"

I really, really like that one, LH. Although I probably wouldn't apply it to flattop myself. You should hear him sing like Tom Waits sometime. What could be more charming than that?

And I'm really enjoying trying to come up with a mental image to go with "slumming at the library". That's beautiful imagery, is what that is.

On the question of banjos vs. guitars and sexines, I think it really depends on who's playing it. For instance, I don't think I would regard Burl Ives as being sexy on either instrument. But Patrick Stewart would be sexy playing anything, even a washtub bass or a kazoo.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Genie
Date: 26 Oct 01 - 10:18 PM

I think Sophoclese has the right idea. Ladies, would you rather be shaped like a guitar or a banjo?!
Gents, would you rather hold a woman shaped like a guitar or one shaped like a banjo?
I've even heard some speculate that men designed guitars to look like women!

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: The Shambles
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 04:53 PM

It's not in the shape its in all in the plucking.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 05:12 PM

That's probably why guitars sound so good...because they are shaped like women. Natural resonance, harmony, and balance.

Carol, you are right. Patrick Stewart would look sexy on any instrument. Maybe Martin should do a "Patrick Stewart" model...

As for Burl Ives, he wouldn't look sexy even if perched atop a female orangutan....which in his case would at least appear to be an almost incestuous act! (Hee! Hee!) He did have a great voice though.

Pluck off, Shambles! :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: SINSULL
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 05:56 PM

SINSULL tells all! I had a crush on Burl Ives as a young girl. And still find him very earthy and sexy as Big Daddy! Have fun with that LH. Must have been the banjo.

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 06:18 PM

That's very interesting, SINSULL. Maybe the Burl Ives/sexiness thing has to do with context. My early memories of him are as the voice of the snowman in one of those claymation Christmas specials from the 1960s, which puts him (permanently, I'm afraid) in the category of 'too wholesome to be sexy'.

I will 'fess up on a little secret, though. The only time I ever felt the hots for a musician was when I saw a guy playing a long necked Seeger banjo. That long neck really showed the muscles of his arm off to good advantage, and the way he held it made me want to know what it felt like to be that banjo. So I guess I'll have to put myself in the banjos being sexy (sometimes) camp.

Guitars have an effect on me too, but it's more of a pulling at my heartstrings kind of thing rather than lust.

This thread is almost 200 posts long. Should there be a part two?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 06:36 PM

Carol - The danger in a part 2 is that the insult war between myself and flattop would become truncated, as it were, and possibly fall through the cracks and be lost altogether! A very disturbing prospect...

However, I can see your point.

I don't believe that thing about "the only time I ever felt the hots for a musician". "ONLY"???? Come on!

SINSULL - Really??? Hmmm. Okay... Well, I agree that he played the part of Big Daddy with real panache, so, yeah...I guess that makes sense. I've just always thought he looked so much like a well-manicured orangutan that I couldn't help grabbing the opportunity for that joke. I have a warped sense of humour, but I'm Canadian, eh? You have to make allowances for us in the Great White North...the long winters drive us all slowly mad.

Did you ever see the Burl Ives film with Ricardo Montalban in it? It was a serious movie about a disturbed teenager and his drug-addicted mother. Montalban played a small-time hood and drug dealer. Can't remember the name of the film.

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: CarolC
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 06:48 PM

I'm a freak, LH. What can I say?

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 01 - 10:51 PM

You're in good company!

- LH

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: GUEST,flattop
Date: 29 Oct 01 - 01:22 PM

This thread is getting long and unyieldy. Considering what people find sexy perhaps I should not contribute to it's elongation.

Since SINSULL had enough bad taste to admit that she found Burl Ives sexy, there might even be hope that a spit soaked harmonica could turn on a perfectly perverted person.

_____________

'Never play Ping-Pong with a mental patient because it's all we do and we will kill you.' - from Amy Hempel's story, Today Will Be a Quiet Day

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: The Shambles
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 04:21 AM

refresh

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 07:34 AM

I'd rather hold a woman shaped like a woman than a woman shaped like anything else.

I've seen some ugly guitars but never an ugly banjo.

eric

Subject: RE: Why are guitars SEXY and banjos, not?
From: Col K
Date: 27 Oct 05 - 07:36 AM

200
And neither are sexy