BS: Worst comedian ever?

Subject: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:29 PM

Whaddya think?

I'm voting for Jerry Lewis on this one, but I have to admit that the competition is fierce.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bert
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:33 PM

Rodney Dangerfield

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:35 PM

Now Little Hawk, I hope you're not going to be wiping sweat off the brow again! I loved Jerry Lewis and I loved his film "The Court Jester". You are right about the fierce competiton for the title but for the life of me I can't think of any contenders yet. I'll come back to you on that one.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:40 PM

Without doubt, Don Rickles.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:41 PM

But....he's so creepy and disgusting! I have not seen "The Court Jester", so I can't comment on that.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:45 PM

You may be onto something there, Peace. I had forgotten about Don Rickles. And what about his mouthy female counterpart who disses absolutely everybody. Whatzername???? She is to comedy what Anne Coulter is to political commentary.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:49 PM

Joan Rivers? Phyllis Diller? Dean Martin?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 05:56 PM

Joan Rivers is the one I was speaking of.

Dean Martin was also a heavy hitter in the bad comedian sweepstakes, no doubt about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:00 PM

You know. I loved Red Skelton. His humour was touching and gentle. Some of the characters he did were awesome.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:01 PM

Such as? (I don't think I ever saw that show.)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:05 PM

My favourite was Freddy the Freeloader. Pic of Skelton here.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:06 PM

Ah, yes. I recall hearing about Freddy from friends at school. What about "Clem Kaddiddlehopper"? Was he a Skelton creation?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: John O'L
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:11 PM

What I saw this thread title I immediately thought Jerry Lewis, and then almost as immediately, Bob Hope.

I too loved Red Skelton, and also Jonothan Winters.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:15 PM

Pic of Clem right here.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:21 PM

worst: probably Al Franken or Howard Stern

On the other hand, Red Skelton, Bob Hope, Jack Benny and Jonathan Winters are great. The don't just represent America, they are America.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:22 PM

Loved Gracie Fields and George Burns, too. And Carol Burnette.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:23 PM

Sorry. Aluminum moment. Gracie ALLEN.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:35 PM

BTW, even those who don't Like Jerry Lewis should be able to admit that he was, in his prime, a very skillful performer.

He was a fine emcee as well as a good singer. Great timing.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:37 PM

Oh yes, he was a skillful performer. No doubt. I just can't stand his particular style, that's all.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bee
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:41 PM

I never 'got' Jerry lewis' humour, or Bob Hope's - just never saw them as funny. Red Skelton I loved as a child, and I've always liked Carol Burnett.
And I think Rick Mercer is hilarious, although I know some people despise him. And Mary Walsh is a national treasure.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 06:44 PM

I "got" Bob Hope's sense of humor, and still found him totally unfunny, and sort of creepy at the same time. He reminded me a lot of Richard Nixon.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Glasgow Green
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 07:07 PM

Hi Guys! I've just popped in to say that one either loved Jerry Lewis' or hated his guts - I'm of the latter opinion myself.

But for totally crap comedians, look no further than England. The English audience is the most easily pleased on the entire planet when it comes to humour (read Willy Shakespeare's jokes if you doubt me - this is actually an emample of English innuendo - any mention of "Willy", "Dick" or "cock" is guaranteed to bring the house down.)

Bob Hope was born English - so he was crap; as was Stan Laurel. George Burns should have been English as he was also crap. But the Ultimate crap comedian of all time has to be Danny Kaye.

Tippocketa-pocketa - example of a joke from Walter Mitty.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 07:38 PM

Sorry, "The Court Jester" was Danny Kaye - but I liked both of them!!!!!!!! No hope!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 07:45 PM

another candidate for worst: Rob Reiner

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Amergin
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 07:58 PM

Jerry Seinfeld....Ellen Degenerate.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 08:27 PM

Either Andy Kaufman or Bob Sagett. Both of them are painful to watch, because their humor is either so lame or deliberately not funny that I'm embarrassed for them.
Steven Wright is probably my favorite..."I saw a restaurant that had a sign saying 'Breakfast Anytime' so I ordered French Toast in the Middle Ages."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 08:45 PM

Jesus of Nazareth. He was a lousy comedian. But he did do some pretty neat magic tricks.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: kendall
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 08:53 PM

That big stupid galoot with the silly hair on Seinfeld.

Jerry Lewis was about as funny as busted rubber.

Red Skelton was one of the greats. His characters were:
Clem Kadiddlhopper
Freddy the freeloader
Punchdrunk McPug
There was one other...southern colonel or something.

Tim Conway breaks me up.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: melodeonboy
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:03 PM

"The English audience is the most easily pleased on the entire planet when it comes to humour", says Glasgow Green.

You should get out more, mate! What do you profess to know about international audiences?

The worst comedian ever has got to be Ken Dodd.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:14 PM

Back in the late Sixties, one of the networks put on a comedy program that was supposed to compete with "Laugh-In." And "Laugh-In" was such a power-house that any show trying to compete with it in the same time-slot was a formula for show-biz suicide. I don't remember the name of the show, but within a couple of months, the good ones (as I recall, that included Lily Tomlin) had moved over to "Laugh-In" and the new show that was supposed to compete with it was cancelled.

This short-lived comedy show was Steve Martin's first exposure on the national scene. I thought he was stupid and inane then, and although I haven't seen much of his work at all within recent years, the last time I saw him on television about a year ago, he was still just as stupid and inane. Helluva banjo player, though!

I sort of put him in the same category as Jerry Lewis. In both cases, neither comedian (?) seemed to be able to distinguish between "funny" and "just plain silly."

Steve Martin did have at least one shtick that I thought was pretty funny, though. I think it was in "The Jerk," where he was reading a letter aloud that had got wet, and as the ink smeared and ran and the letter became less and less readable, he got more and more mush-mouthed. Now that was funny!

Don Rickles I didn't consider funny either. His stock in trade was insults, and to me, a lot of his stuff just sounded kind of mean-spirited rather than funny.

There are a lot of comics that I think are funnier than hell, and I've been accused of having a universal sense of humor. I mean, I think "Two and a Half Men" is hilarious and I crack up over "The Red Green Show."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:18 PM

Gee Kendall, thought your favorite Red Skelton character would be "The Mean Little Kid".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:23 PM

I never got Emo Phillips, or Judy Tenuta (sp?). Or Andy Kaufmann. I thing there was a wave of "comics" whose acts were either beyond me or they truly weren't funny. Fortunately, that style of comedy has died for the time being.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:24 PM

Sorry.....Trying to define worst or best in anything is pretty lame as an exercise but trying to attach those labels to comedy and comedians is even more futile and hopeless than mentally masturbating over "What is Folk?" Was Danny Kaye a comedian or a comedic actor? Is stand-up required or do we lump writers, actors, performers, etc. all into the same category? I kinda' doubt that is possible.

So yeah, I really never cared much for Andy Kaufman and I'd prefer to read some Fran Lebowitz than watch Martin Lawrence do anything. If I use my own personal definition of "comedy," than Lenny, Richard, and George, have been joined by Robin as the Holy Trinity expands. And where Henny Youngman turned my stomach, Morey Amsterdam gave me belly laughs. I loved Danny Kaye and I loved Red Skeleton too, but he was almost too sacharine for my taste.

There is but one certainty......Jerry Lewis bites the big one!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:59 PM

I can't believe no one has nominated Andrew Dice Clay.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Dave Roberts
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:07 PM

I think I'd have to concur with the Jerry Lewis tendency, based on the irritation I felt as a young lad watching his films on TV. This was during that uncritical period I think we all have when I thought that nearly all comedy I saw on TV was funny.
Jerry Lewis was an exception. As they say here in Cheshire, he was 'too daft to laugh at'.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:08 PM

Who?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM

The 'Who?' was regarding Andrew Dice Clay.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:27 PM

Consider yourself lucky to have to ask, Peace. I haven't actually heard of him for awhile myself now. But he was actually pretty popular in the states a few years ago. Imagine standing on stage reciting every childhood nursery rhymn you can think of, but working in every obscenity you can jam in. On second thought, don't bother.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:33 PM

Andrew Dice Clay was (is) a comedian? How strange. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bee
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:49 PM

The absolute best comedy I've seen live, ever, and with great music as well, was Buddy Wassisname and the Other Fellers. My husband and I left their concert with sore cheeks and bellies from laughing so hard and so long. People were falling out of their seats.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: bobad
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:02 PM

I have an LP that I purchased at a yard sale for $.25 by somebody who goes by the name Buzzy Greene. The LP is titled "Stag Nite At The Lodge." This is the cover WARNING: do not look if you are offended by the female breast (that should get everyone looking). You've heard of borscht belt comedians, well this guy should be called the soup kitchen comedian - he is so bad that he's good - if you know what I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:04 PM

Boy, that looks like an album that record collectors would go to almost any lengths to have. I bet it's a hot item on Ebay. I wonder where I can get a copy? Geez. Maybe Johnny Death has it in his vast collection of LPs. I gotta call him up and find out.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:07 PM

Cluin would love to see the cover.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: bobad
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:09 PM

On the cover is printed "Frameable Cover Art" perfect for hanging on the walls of your bachelor pad.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:10 PM

ESPN has a show called "The Cheap Seats" kind of like science fiction mystery theater 3000, but they make fun of sports events and shows. One show they ripped was a Steve Garvey Fishing tournament, one of the fishing "Celebs" was the "Up and Coming Comedian" Johnny Floorwax.
I think he may qualify as worst ever as he was never heard from before or since
Nick

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: bobad
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:24 PM

That reminds me of a bumper sticker I once saw that made me laugh - "Honk If You're Carrying Steve Garvey's Baby" - it was funny in the context of the "Steve Garvey affair."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:12 AM

I just saw a re-run of Benny Hill....now I remember why I quit watching him years ago.

And yes, Andrew Dice Clay was as bad as they get.

(The Red Green Show seems to have disappeared from out local lineup...Canada..please send more!)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: michaelr
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:21 AM

Andrew Dice Clay.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:25 AM

I have to admit that Andrew Dice Clay is even worse than Jerry Lewis.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:30 AM

I just watched some of his 'comedy' on youtube. It's enough to gag a maggot.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: mrdux
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:52 AM

Sam Kinison

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 02:15 AM

"The English audience is the most easily pleased on the entire planet when it comes to humour" - Glasgow Green.

Now, now, Glasgow Green, keep your prejudices to yourself. We did produce Fankie Howard, the funniest man on the planet, and we also laughed along with Billy Connelly, despite his profanity.

Worst comedian has to be Spike Milligan, who was about as funny as toothache.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 02:57 AM

Aha! I didn't find Spike Milligan funny either. Just damned annoying!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Walrus
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 04:55 AM

Most of the 'alternative comedians' of the 1980s (the "acts" all seemed to be 'Swear a lot, make a few pc statements and say "Thatcher" every so often'

Jim Carrey and the rest of the 'gurners' - I'm sorry, pulling a funny face is infantile, no humourous.

Rowen Atkinson (in Mr Bean mode) - I find the 'Bean' character about as amusing as Bubonic Plague.

W

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:25 AM

DARN! What WAS the name of the sherrif on the Red Skelton Show???.... "Bartender! Quick, gimmie a drink before the fight starts."

BTW... didn't see Bob Newhart mentioned as one of the greats. The master of timing. His telephone skits crack me up. A favourite is the one where he is the King of England and he's taking a call from Sir Walter Raleigh regarding "Nutty Walt's" purchase of shiploads of tobacco.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: alanabit
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:28 AM

I am not a fan of Mr.Bean for a different reason. It is basically just a long series of actor exercises. You can see how it's done. He is not a real character for me.
Blackadder, on the other hand, is inspired.
I, too, recall those "alternative comedians" of the eighties. I saw them as an "alternative" to comedy. They always seemed particularly smug about having invented the clitoris too, didn't they? Although I am not convinced that even that claim was based on fact.
Milligan? Well along with Peter Cook, I think we had the two comedy giants of post war Britain. Still, if they don't make you laugh, I guess you have to look elsewhere. For me they were national treasures.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:41 AM

I think I go with melodeonboy and "Ken Dodd"..

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 06:46 AM

It's OK about Spike Milligan, we know Americans don't understand irony.

Here in the UK the main contenders are Jimmy Tarbuck and that wanker Jim Davidson.

eric

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:30 AM

Gnu that was San Fernando Red.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bee
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:35 AM

Skelton had a seagull act, too... Gertrude and __? Cracked me up when I was a kid.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: kendall
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:35 AM

Leonard Barr

the three stooges.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Rusty Dobro
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:38 AM

Steve Wright (only included as a comedian because he's so sure he is, despite all the evidence), Ben Elton, Catherine Tate, Jimmy 'I go golfing with lots of famous and amusing people!' Tarbuck, Jim Carrey, Johnny Vegas. Oh, and there's nothing funny about Tony Blair.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Leadfingers
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:45 AM

Sixty 'worst comedian' posts , mostly Trans pond , and NO One mentioned President Bush - You have to laugh at him or you burst out crying !

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:55 AM

Norman Wisdom.

:0

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Big Mick
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:03 AM

Emo Phillips.

I loved Red Skelton.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:06 AM

BEE.....Red's seagulls were Gertrude and Heathcliff.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: jimlad9
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:20 AM

Please remove George W Bush from this thread. None of the other nominees have caused the deaths or brought misery to so many families in the US/UK/Middle East that he has done.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Big Mick
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:30 AM

BTW, there is a DVD available of all of Red's stuff. It is a two DVD set. We have it and my daughter loves it just as I did.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 10:57 AM

Gertrude and Heathcliff are flying over a used car lot.... "... let's make a deposit on a Ford."

Thanks, Kendall... San Fernando Red.... that was the guy!

"Quick, gimmie another drink beofre the fight starts."

"Okay, here. What fight?"

"I don't have any money for the drinks."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:22 AM

I thought San Fernando Red was a real-estate sharpie, not a wild west sheriff.

Bill Dana was pretty crappy, with his Jose Jimenez and Chief Walking Eagle shticks

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: ranger1
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:32 AM

Oooh, it's a three-way tie between Jerry Lewis, Jim Carrey and Andrew Dice Clay. There are a ton of honorable mentions, most of which Kendall has already beat me to.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:43 AM

another candidate for worst comedian: Milton Berl

BTW, Red Skelton's s lawman character was sheriff Deadeye. San Fernando Red was a con artist, I believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:47 AM

definately Roy Jay,slitherman.He is working in benidorm and he is absolute pants.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:15 PM

Sherrif Deadeye... that sounds right! San Fernando Red? Hmmm...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:30 PM

I've never seen the worst comedian. i have the knack of avoiding them.

   Comedy seems an even more personal thing than music.

   Among those who leave me cold - Benny Hill,Jim Davidson,Les Dawson,Seinfeld,Chris Rock,Jack Dee.

   Among the tops,Spike,Seven Wright,Jackie Mason,Rik Mayall (in Kevin Turvey mode),Emo Phillips,Rita Rudner,Frankie Boyle.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:37 PM

One of my favorite characters on "The Red Green Show" is Ed Frid, the nervous animal control officer.

I do find Rowen Atkinson (either as Blackadder or Mr. Bean) pretty funny at times, but a little bit definitely goes a long way!

One bit he did on "Mr. Bean"—sitting on a park bench next to another fellow and making a sandwich while the fellow watched in horrified fascination—was pure Charlie Chaplin. Hilarious!

When he's in comedy mode, Hugh Laurie (especially in the Jeeves and Wooster shows) always reminds me of a chicken who suddenly realizes that he's just accidentally flown through an electric fan.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 02:01 PM

Yeah, the sandwich skit was brilliant. The one about putting on his bathing suit at the beach without fully disrobing was pretty amazing too.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 02:03 PM

I find that "wibble wibble!" comes in very handy at times.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Sandman
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:24 PM

Reg Varney, neil warnock, george walkewr bush,benny hill, jim davidson

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:42 PM

I was going to nominate my hamster - but Freddy Starr appears to have eaten it (Americans probably won't understand this - but then there are quite a few American references in this thread that I don't understand either).

Oh yes, life's too short to watch anything with Robin Williams in it (both Brits and Yanks will probably understand this - although some may not agree).

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:44 PM

Except "Popeye". That was great.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,the doc
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:51 PM

Chubby Brown and Jim Davidson and Bernard Manning ...that would be a bill from hell.

Only things unfunnier are their audiences. Think middle aged plus bigots who are generally overweight, overbearing and over the hill.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: robomatic
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 05:55 PM

Pretty much all the 'talent' listed above suffers from the fact that while some particular citizen can't stand 'em, there are other folk who really liked 'em.

My personal can't stands:
Martha Raye <= She's from a different era, but she made me remember a quote from HL Mencken: "Look at that woman, makes you want to burn every bed in the world!" To be fair, she was a real great person, could sing, was and is beloved by millions, just not me.

Three Stooges

Jerry Lewis as a comedian. I think he was a pretty good actor in later life.

The 'thing' with comedians is that when you think you've got the worst one, another comes along who just blows the doors off bad.

I thought Pauly Shore had to be the end of the line in stupid, vapid, and creepy.

Then along came Tom Green.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Length
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 06:17 PM

Morecombe and Wise, the worst I ever saw.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 06:21 PM

Top joke in UK

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."



However, ignoring the weasels, the top American joke was…

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies: "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 06:23 PM

Top joke in Canada

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C. The Russians used a pencil.


Top joke in Australia

This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: "Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes were bloodshot and bugging out, and I had this corpse-like look on my face! What's WRONG with me, Doctor!?"
The doctor looks her over for a couple of minutes, then calmly says: "Well, I can tell you that there ain't nothing wrong with your eyesight...."

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Peace
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 06:24 PM

Top joke in Germany

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say: "That's not it" and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army. The soldier picked it up, smiled and said: "That's it."


I now return you to the regular program.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:32 PM

Favorite joke at the West Seattle golf course:

A man comes home from his usual Sunday afternoon golf game with his buddy, Harry. His wife looks at him and says, "Good, heavens, you look completely done in! What happened? What's the matter?"

"Well," sez her husband, "Harry and I had just started our game when he had a heart-attack and died right there!"

"That's horrible!" said his wife. "Poor Harry! No wonder you look so drawn, haggard, and worn out!"

"Yeah, it was awful! For eighteen holes! Take take my shot and drag Harry, take my shot and drag Harry. . . ."

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 07:42 PM

Little Britain.
The only thing less funny and more pointlessly offensive is Big Brother.....

Ricky Tomlinson in the office is a close runner up.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 08:37 PM

ricky tomlinson is in the royle family. ricky gervais is in the office. love them both but everyone is different.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Bruce Michael Baillie
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 04:51 AM

...Woody Allen, my god how I hate that miserable bastard!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 09:12 AM

Morecambe and Wise - hhhmmm, an interesting case (but not necessarily very funny). I thought that Eric could be quite amusing (in an eccentric 'favourite uncle' sort of way)- but Ernie wasn't amusing at all. Ernie always reminded me of a rather dull little man desperately trying to be funny - and failing.
I have a dim memory of them getting a new writer about 30 years ago (Eddie Braben ... or something?). He wasn't the genius he was made out to be at the time and, for me, M & W went (even further) downhill from then on. Mind you, they got a lot more popular, so what do I know?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 09:15 AM

agree - Woody Allen

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 09:32 AM

Benny Hill worked out a foolproof formula for comedic success without actually being funny. Feature enough scantilly clad women and most men will watch whether the jokes are funny or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: JeremyC
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 09:55 AM

Emo Philips is hilarious. I saw him a few months ago, and he was still just as brilliant and weird as he used to be.

Worst comedian: Larry the Cable Guy. "Git-R-Dun" is not a joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Dazbo
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM

The Three Stooges

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scoville
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:32 AM

I've actually witnessed Larry the Cable Guy being funny. He was on the Tonight Show and was somewhat cleaner than usual. Also, he had to keep up with Jay Leno. Whether or not you think Jay is funny, his routine is at least not entirely reliant on fat and toilet jokes.

I wouldn't say he was the worst comedian ever, but we had a comedian come to our small, left-leaning, liberal arts college when I was in school. He went through his usual schtick of girlfriend and boob-job jokes and was greeted with cold silence. He finally stopped the show, admitted that he'd never bombed this badly with a college audience (and he really was bombing spectacularly), asked what was up, and then made a valiant effort to use gags that were better suited to his feminist/tree-hugging/gay-sympathizing audience. He was much funnier without the boob jokes.

* * * * *

The best comedian I ever saw, on the other hand, was Elvira Kurt. She came for Gay Pride Week and I almost didn't go because I figured I wouldn't get a lot of lesbian jokes (since I'm not a lesbian). As it turned out, there weren't that many lesbian jokes and I laughed until I was in pain. And then kept laughing. She nearly killed us.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Bruce Michael Baillie
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:47 AM

...Not to mention Ricky Gervais, there's just something about the smug pillock I don't like! Oh and of course FREDDIE F****** STAR! outmoded, outdated AND Liverpudlian, in fact any comedian from Liverpool!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:55 PM

I did think that 'The Office' was brilliant but, like many successful TV comedies, it was an ensemble thing - several excellent comic actors working together to create something original and exceptional.

I think that the real problem with Ricky Gervais is that he's been over-hyped. He tends to do the same thing over and over (ie. playing an insensitive, pathetic idiot continually getting himself into embarassing situations). I thought that 'Extras' with its emphasis on guest Stars and Celebrities was fairly tiresome.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

Mark Lamar, i have never found anything remotely funny about him. The Goons, my dad likes em, i just dont get it. grown men making stupid noises. its just not funny. But Freddie Starr must be the best comedian in the world that turned totally crap. come to think of it, i dont ever remember Lenny Henry being funny either, and i hate that odius cretin Michael Barrymore, i have never liked him even before his fall from fame.
But you have gotta love "Peter Kay"... fantastic.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: robomatic
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 03:35 PM

GOONS RULE !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 04:19 PM

Hi Robomatic,,, what is it with the goons, i have tried and tried, but i just dont get it, i was once listening to a radio program about them, the presenter talked about a sketch that they did that subject matter was so obscene they couldnt say what it was, this got me interested, i listened, it made no sense to me what so ever. all i could hear was peter sellers making silly noises, Harry Secombe speaking in a funny voice and Spike Milligan just not being funny....the sad thing is, if i could get the penny to drop i think i might quite like them.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Becca72
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 04:20 PM

My top three most un-funny "comedians" would be Jim Carey, Adam Sandler and Chris Rock. But there are thousands more who just shouldn't be in the business.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 05:01 PM

I really have a grudge against Adam Sandler, because he had the nerve to be in a movie that also had *Winona Ryder* in it!....and I couldn't bear to watch it because I would have to put up with Adam Sandler for over an hour if I did. I coudn't face that. Not even for Winona. I've never seen the movie.

He's gonna pay for that. Mark my words.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 05:40 PM

Anyone who thinks The Goons is just silly noises and funny voices just hasn't been listening.

    Don't know how well it works on paper but

    Secombe/Seagoon. I arrived on the beach at Brighton. Suddenly,I saw a ragged figure sitting in a deck-chair.

    Eccles,what are you doing here?


    Eccles...    I'm on holiday.


    Seagoon.      Well what's all this snow doing on the beach?


    Eccles.       Oh,that's on holiday as well.






       or




    Seagoon.      That's a nice tie.

    Eccles.       Yer,I got it at Cambridge.

    Seagoon.      Yoooouuu were at Cambridge?

    Eccles.       Yeeer.

    Seagoon.      What were you doing at Cambridge?

    Eccles,slower,with emphasis.          Buying a tie.





       Those are even funnier in the shows and no stupid noises.







       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 06:20 PM

Heh! Those are rather witty. Classic misdirection of the line of thought.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 01:48 AM

I can see that those lines are witty, but theyre not hilariously funny. they are sort of music hall funny. The Goons to me seem that if you can get past all that is going on with them, all you have to look forward to is old music hall humour.... and you dont get many of them to the pound do you missus.
But i am definatley right about Mark Lamar, he is just not funny at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 06:27 AM

One last,and as I say,funnier in situ than on the page.


   The Goons are in a desert.

   Seagoon. Look,a house.

   Bloodnok. No,it's a mirage.

   S. No.no.that's a house.

   S. as narrator. We reached the house

   S. See,here it is.

   B. I'm afraid not lad.

   S. Nonsense. Let's search it. Bluebottle you search downstairs,Eccles upstairs,see what we can find.

      So, you thought it wa.....what,where is it? It's,it's gone.

   B. I told you it was a mirage,lad.

   E. (Getting louder). Aaaaaaaaaaaaah (Sound effect of thud)

   E.    I was upstairs.





    And that was making great use of the fact that it was a steam radio programme






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Bruce Michael Baillie
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 06:58 AM

...ADAM SANDLER, MY GOD HOW I HATE HIM EVEN WORSE THAN WOODY ALLEN!
the guy is a complete twat!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:58 AM

Michael Barrymore, i have never liked him even before his fall from fame

I agree - I never found him funny at all, and I could never understand how he kept winning those BAFTA awards as best comedian, for several years in a row. He'd get my vote as worst comedian ever. Jim Davidson comes a very close second though.

But then a lot of the comics I like (or used to when they were still alive) seem to be hated by others - Spike Milligan, Tommy Cooper, Peter Cook, Laurel & Hardy, to name just a few. Hmmm, those are all dead. Not sure whether that proves anything.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: JeremyC
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:07 PM

"Punch-Drunk Love" was good, but I think it was because Sandler was in a movie that didn't suck, with a director who could do more than just make poo-poo jokes.

There are one or two moments in "Happy Gilmore" and "Billy Madison" that are funny, but it's not worth watching the movies to find the funny.

Which reminds me a bit of those old "where's the beef" commercials. I can imagine the same old woman watching, say, "Big Daddy" and saying "Where's the funny?"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Walrus
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:18 PM

"...The Goons to me seem that if you can get past all that is going on with them, all you have to look forward to is old music hall humour.... and you dont get many of them to the pound do you missus.."

One point to note is that we are looking at the Goons from the point of view of the early 21st Century.
In their time the Goons were quite radical compared to their contemporaries. Bear in mind that at the time, the BBC audiences were being 'treated' to the likes of ITMA [ENTER woman with 'comic working class' voice: "Can I do you now Sir?" - Audience collapses in howls of laughter]; Arthur Askey going manic with the 'Busy Bee' song and bad copies of indifferent American radio comedy as sections of other shows.
By comparison the Goons were a breath of fresh air with a degree of risk (the trouble raised at Broadcasting House, when they introduced the character 'Hugh Jampton' is an example).

While they may seem dated now, in their day they were cutting edge.

Just my two penn'orth.

W

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: dwditty
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:19 PM

You know what is funny? A bunch of folkies sitting around discussing what is funny and what is not.....



(sorry, I couldn't resist. I love you all)

dw

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:56 PM

'The Walrus's' point about the Goons being 'cutting edge' for their day is spot on. Remember that they were appearing regularly on radio over 50 years ago now - things have moved on - of course they have!!
Monty Python were big nearly four decades ago now - and they begin to appear a bit dated (except, of course, to those tiresome tw..s who have learned all their sketches by heart).

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Non-American
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 01:01 PM

Those god-awful English bitches, French, Saunders.... Jeez!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 06:42 PM

I only looked at the first note---Jerry Lewis.   Oh so true---ah, if only I were French---then I could love him.   I am not--so---agreed.

Probably the worst comedians are people who think they are clever and are not---any nominations there?   


Bill Hahn

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Nick
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 07:08 PM

Pulled this quote from above
"I find the 'Bean' character about as amusing as Bubonic Plague"
So now I await the inevitable most amusing plauge thread.
Nick

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,unut ur'gjerpg
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 07:52 PM

Bill Hicks was the best. Don't know who was the worst.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 08:07 PM

Worst comedian? Some of my favorites have been named here as worst. No point in arguing…de gustibus, etc.

Of those I've seen, I'd vote for Tom Green. He played some really nasty pranks on people in public and videotaped them. For instance, going out in public in a wheelchair, falling out of the wheelchair, tricking some unsuspecting bystander into trying to help him get back into his wheelchair, falling out again, etc. Real disgusting.

Jay Leno has also offended me with tasteless jokes about JonBenét Ramsey and her family. When he's at his best, he's pretty dull. I guess I resent him more because so many other people like him.

It's not that I'm easily offended. Quite the contrary. I like people who push the envelope of what's socially acceptable—but they've got to be funny, and they can't pick on people unfairly.

My current favorite is Dave Chappelle. (Click to play 'The Niggar Family.')

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 10:37 PM

Number1 with a bullet is Woody Allen. I used to get nervous and itchy listening to his stand-up routines. Still do. I do like some of his movies...if he isn't in them.
Currently, my choices include Chris Rock, Kathy Something-or-other, and Sara Silverman. Potty mouths all.

J'accuse all here who dissed Danny Kaye as having no comedic taste.. He was brilliant; and having his wife, Sylvia Fine, writing his special material was more brilliant, yet. His early Goldwyn movies were terrrific, Walter Mitty, Kid From Brooklyn etc. The apex was The Court Jester; everybody knows where the Pellet with the Poison was.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 07:23 AM

'The Walrus's' point about the Goons being 'cutting edge' for their day is spot on. Remember that they were appearing regularly on radio over 50 years ago now - things have moved on - of course they have!!

True, Shimrod. But even today, the BBC's Goon Show CDs are selling well. They seem to bring out a new CD every year, with 4 of the shows remastered.

And their humour still appeals to younger people too. A few years ago, I was working with some fellow Goons fans and we used to trade Goonish remarks during our conversation, and some of the younger ones at first would take the mickey out of us old f*rts for liking that stuff. I lent some Goon tapes to them and they became converts themselves, even though they weren't born when the Goons were first on the radio (even I was too young to appreciate them in their time, and discovered them later, from radio repeats).

Monty Python were big nearly four decades ago now - and they begin to appear a bit dated (except, of course, to those tiresome tw..s who have learned all their sketches by heart).

Python used to say that the Goons were one of their biggest influences - one of them once described the Python show as a sort of visual version of the Goons. Perhaps not quite true, but Python probably influenced TV comedy in a similar way that the Goons influenced radio comedy.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 07:58 AM

Another contender - Count Arthur Strong - oh dear.






    Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Neovo
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 08:19 AM

I agree - Norman Wisdon - never could understand why he's supposed to be funny. And any of the comedy club circuit standups that appear on Loose Ends (they play some strange music on that programme as well).

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

I watched that Dave Chappelle bit on the "Niggar Family". Quite funny.

I also think Danny Kaye was very good.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:46 AM

From east of the Atlantic the afore mentioned Davidson has to be amongst the least funny. Manning is not too bad live oddly enough but in general I would agree. Chubby Brown - May as well just go and slit my wrists. Real name? Roysten Vasey oddly enough! Don't find League of Gentlemen that funny either

West of the pond? Cosby and Murphy do nothing for me at all. I often wondered if it was something I was missing with black comedians but I do find Lenny Henry very amusing - either stand up or in his sitcoms. Nor is it American humour - I like Robin Williamson and I like the humour in, for instance, Scrubs and Friends.

Just shows - It's a funny old world. Thank heavens we are not all the same:-)

Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don Firth
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 09:53 PM

Good grief! How could I have forgotten Gilbert Gottfried!??

Well, very easily, actually. . . .

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: pdq
Date: 28 Feb 07 - 10:06 PM

Yep, that guy was as bad as Stanley Myron Handelman.

I think both are in the same retirement shelter, The Los Angeles Home For Unfunny Hebrews, which was founded by Pinky Lee.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,unut ur'gjerpg
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:03 AM

Did none you ever watch Hee Haw or listen to Stringbean on the Grand Ol' Opry? Don't know if they were bad, because they were just dusting off jokes that were corny a hundred years before, but they could be agonizing.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: heric
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:16 AM

Mary Tyler Moore had a variety show that lasted two, maybe three, episodes before they yanked it. That may have been the worst ever.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 12:34 AM

It wasn't the worst ever, if it's the one I recall...it was just not nearly as good as the original MTM show. But I may be thinking of a different show than the one you mean.

pdq, you said: "I think both are in the same retirement shelter, The Los Angeles Home For Unfunny Hebrews, which was founded by Pinky Lee."

LOL! That is damn funny. Gave me a good laugh, and I needed one. I bet you are a better comedian than half the professionals who've been named in this thread so far.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 03:57 AM

Jimmy Carr. I could cheerfully gouge the eyes out of his creepy waxwork face with a spoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 07:50 AM

geordie comedian ross turnbull is a great comedian,lenny henry has never been funny in his life

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Charmain
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:27 AM

It has to be Jerry Seinfeld - how can someone be the highest paid comedian in the world for several years running when they are absolutely totally and completely unfunny? I've seen his stand-up and his TV show (quite a few episodes in the case of the latter) and I haven't laughed once.

At the British end of the comic spectrum I do despise Jimmy Carr - he hosted the "Big Fat End of the Year Show" in 2005 and the whole of his humour for the night consisted of learing remarks towards Denise Van Outen - Rob Brydon was one of the panellists and he totally destroyed Carr in a matter of moments - Rob Brydon theres one for the Comic Star list.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: koprokephalos
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:24 PM

Does England have, per capita, the greatest proportion of really poor (in the sense of weak, boring, humourless, dull, unfunny) "comedians"? I mean, look at them - French/Saunders, the Little Britain crew, League of Genitals, that c--t with Fanny the Wonder Dog Julie Clary, Chubby Arse Brown, most of the Monty Python public-school wankers, Morecombe and Wise; I could go on but my blood pressure is rising.

"I've fallen in the water!"

FLUSH.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:31 PM

No,Tibet has that honour. None of them are funny.






       Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:32 PM

It's well known that the English would laugh at anything. Just as bad as M&W were Mike & Bernie Winter; it's said that they once appeared at the Glasgow "Empire", and after about five minutes of one of them making an arse of himself without drawing the slightest response from the audience, the other stuck his head around the curtain and made a stupid face. For the first time, a sound came from the darkness: "Aw Chrrist; thurr's TWO o' them!"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 02:36 PM

Mort Sahl. It used to be "hip" to listen to him, but I never found him funny. A bad standup comic in my book with no sense of timing.

I had no use for Milton Berle. What's the gag?

I actually like some of Jerry Lewis's movies but he just did not know when to stop. The latter comedy films were torture.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Arkie
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 06:02 PM

Who was the comic who did the "Jacob was a smooth man and Esau was a hairy man skit" that almost got the Smothers Brothers kicked off TV.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Amergin
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 08:51 PM

Bobcat Goldthwaite.....and that gilbert fellow...they both annoy the hell out of me.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 01 Mar 07 - 10:28 PM

Ah, Mort Sahl, a casualty of the JFK assassination. Listening to Mort was like meandering thru the woods, turning down this path, and again at the next clearing. Eventually you get back where you started, having seen a lot of scenery during the journey. Of course he knew where he was going.
It is unfortunate that Sahl took up the Jim Garrison conspiracy crusade after Pres. Kennedy was killed...he was decidedly unfunny after that (Sahl that is, not JFK).

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Folk Form # 1
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 05:47 AM

"Mike & Bernie Winter... once appeared at the Glasgow "Empire", and after about five minutes of one of them making an arse of himself without drawing the slightest response from the audience"

I saw them in Bournmouth in the early 70s. I thought they were very funny, as did the rest of the audiance, including my Scottish father. Maybe its Au Bacahaill Caol Dubh who lacks a sense of humour?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 06:15 AM

In most cases a comic is only as good as his scripts. Although some comedians write their own material, and are good at ad libbing, many well known ones rely totally on their scriptwriters to provide them with good gags.

Morecambe & Wise, Tony Hancock, Frankie Howerd all spring to mind as examples of comedians who needed good scriptwriters to be "funny".

Hancock was arrogant and short-sighted enough to sack his best scriptwriters Galton & Simpson (to whom he owed his success), and he went rapidly downhill in the public's estimation afterwards because he was unable to keep up the standard they had set.

Morecambe & Wise could be funny at their best, but again they were often let down by poor scripts at various stages of their career (notably their ITV series in the early 1960s, which I found pretty mediocre, on the whole). They were probably at their peak in the 1970s when they had better scripts for their BBC TV series.

To me, the funniest comedians are those who are able to be funny without the need for scripts - Peter Cook is an example that springs to mind. He had a natural ability to ad lib and come up with amusing remarks.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 07:20 AM

I remember the time Sike Milligan saw that an 'artist' was going to 'electrocute goldfish for art'...

It was on the TV news - he was outside saying that he would put a stop to it - he raced inside and there was the sound of smashing glass - he raced out and said - "NOW! That will stop a stop to that!"

An announcer then said that there was broken glass and goldfish all over the floor....

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 09:10 AM

Spike ...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 10:01 AM

Sid Little

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: heric
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 10:08 AM

Speaking of scripted: I saw Jay Leno in a smallish club when he was a new rising star. I was sitting off to the side, with a fairly close view. He was so robotic it was creepy. Especially when he pretended to be interacting with hecklers who were very clearly not there.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: autolycus
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 11:11 AM

The hairy man/smooth man - wasn't that Alan bennett.


   Not true that Brits will laugh at anything. Most British comedians would fall off their chairs laughing at that idea. Lots Of Brits listen to comedians with arms folded across their chests.

   Can't remember where I heard about some Northern lass saying,about some comedian,"It was all I could do not to laugh."


   The funniest comedy is usually the improvised type - Does the Team Think?;I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue (tho' some of that is prob. now scripted);Whose Line is it Anyway;Mock the Week;My Word;the Welles Sweeney Mixture (new on radio 4 some 11p.m. or other.

   Does the Team Think? [late 60s,early 70s] had panellists who were not very funny comedians - Tommy Trinder,Ted Ray,Jimmy Edwards - and sounded like they were funny people.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Greycap
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM

There was a Northern British guy called Frank Randall, he was supposed to be a comedian. I found him as funny as root canal work. However, Mike & Bernie Winters (already mentioned) come close.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 11:53 AM

Some of the people mentioned in this thread are not really what I ]would call comedians. For example, those in the League of Gentlemen are just acting in a comedy drama. I found that funny, but I don't know if any of the cast would be able to do a good stand-up routine.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: guitar
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 12:26 PM

any Alternive Comic the reason that they are alternive is because they aren't funny. and I just can't Amercan 'humour' or mordern humour either, but then I'm just a grumpy old fart.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: guitar
Date: 02 Mar 07 - 12:28 PM

I'm sorry if I have upest anyone but please these are my views and you don't need to agree with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 03 Mar 07 - 08:27 AM

Bernard Manning has been mentioned here, but i think unfairly, as a comedian, he is very good, his comedy timing is perfect, he can say the most mundane thing and make you laugh. that is what a good comedian can do,,,, what i would call into question about Bernard Manning is his material. its from a time passed and thankfully not mainstream anymore. but if you can get passed the ignorant connotations, and listen to him as a judge on comical talent, he is actually very good, shame hes not a couple of generations younger, he would have been great.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 02:22 AM

Seinfeld by miles!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Walrus
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 06:40 AM

BBC7 is playing a history of radio comedy in a series called "Laughter in the Air".
This week it's the late 1930s & early WW2, (mainly Arthur Askey & Tommy Handley etc.).
I know it's taken out of its social context, but all I can say is, they were so funny I never stopped yawning.

W

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Phil Cooper
Date: 04 Mar 07 - 11:26 PM

No one's mentioned Carrott Top?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: alison
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 12:50 AM

who was the one who hosted "Bullseye"? Jim bowden / bowen or something? he was just awful..........

never liked any of the english ones off "The comedians"

hated "the young ones" and "french & saunders", although most of the same comedians in "the comic strip" did some fantastic stuff - the send ups of Enid Blytons "famous five" books were excellent

give me Dave Allen any day of the week

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Charmain
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 03:54 AM

I hear what you are all saying - but it's still Seinfeld

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: lennice
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 06:21 AM

so, john from sunset coast, the implication is clearly that you think JFK was funny after he died... (sorry, couldn't resist)

I think that just about everybody mentioned ties - including some that folks say they like, like Red Skelton -
Bobcat Goldthwait, Seinfeld, benny hill, bean, jerry lewis, joan rivers, pauly shore, milton berle, don rickles, the list goes on and on - more truly lousy ones than not - but the really good ones are so funny they make up for all the rest - the red green show, george and gracie, richard pryor, bob newhart's telephone conversations...

And although it is verfiable scientific fact that the English have no sense of humor, somehow they managed to produce the funniest man who ever walked the face of the earth - John Cleese.

I didn't know Andrew Dice Clay was supposed to be a comedian.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Shimrod
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 07:08 AM

"And although it is verfiable scientific fact that the English have no sense of humor,..."

That's rich, coming from a representative of a Nation which produced Robin Williams!!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 07:17 AM

The Goodies - embarassingly awful even in the 70s.
Also: Canon & Ball, Little & Large, the Chuckle Brothers and that whole generation of clapped-out WMC humour.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: cetmst
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 08:29 AM

Growing up in the thirties and forties with radio, not to be missed were:
Jack Benny
Easy Aces
Fred Allen
Shows to do homework to:
Not much done to Red Skelton, Bob Hope, Jimmy Durante
More to Fibber McGee and Molly, Amos and Andy
Easily tuned out and more accomplished to The Great Gildersleeve,
    Eddie Cantor
There must have been bad comedians then but either forgotten or never listened to.
Agree with many of the above mentioned bad ones but would further categorize them as dull, narrow, insipid or offensive and would happily turn off Milton Berle, Henny Youngman, Rodney Dangerfield, the Three Stooges, Jerry Lewis, Seinfeld, Mr. Bean, Bennie Hill the Goon Show, Jay Leno (but not Johnny Carson), Woody Allen or Steve Allen for one or the other of the above reasons. I would brook little criticism of Danny Kaye, the Marx Brothers, the Smothers Brothers, Red Skelton, Bob Hope most of the time, Bob Newhart, the cast of Beyond the Fringe, Peter Sellers, Gilda Radnor, Paula Poundstone, Pat Paulsen and probably a few others on a best comedians list.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 09:16 AM

give me Dave Allen any day of the week

Agreed :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 10:58 AM

Sorry, The new wanna be comedians really out stink everybody!

Will Ferrell? Has he done anything that's funny? I mean I haven't even got a clue why he was on SNL.

As far as bad because of his actual shtick it would have to be Andrew Dice Clay *The Diceman*. Archy Bunker was funny with his act twenty years before him. He does the same racist act but just uses profanity.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Folkiedave
Date: 05 Mar 07 - 01:04 PM

Of the modern ones there was a guy recently who had a series on the Radio 4 6.30 pm spot. A poor version of Vin Garbutt with no musical talent whatsoever.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Dáithí
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 05:02 AM

Reeves and Mortimer, anyone? zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Hrothgar
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 05:28 AM

I thought the worst comedian ever was Maggie Thatcher.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 07:38 AM

The best comedians are those currently going under the collective name of the New Labour Cabinet. They're absolutely hilarious - catch them while you still can.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Glasgow Green
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 02:51 PM

Censorship? Where's the tread i sent earlier?

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 02:52 PM

Worst sense of humour - Ivan the Terible.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,Glasgow Green
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 02:55 PM

Ooops,"Thread" instead of "tread".

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Songster Bob
Date: 06 Mar 07 - 04:22 PM

It seems to me that there are kinds of comedy, such as physical or stand-up, and eras of comedy, such as radio comedians or TV ones. And then you have the question of ensembles vs. single comedians, story-telling (set jokes) vs. spontaneous, and even good vs. bad presentations.

Jerry Lewis, Adam Sandler, Robin Williams = physical, usually spontaneous, not in a cast.

Red Skelton, Jack Benny, Bob Hope, many others = situational, not often spontaneous, usually with a cast.

Goons, Three Stooges, Marx Bros. = Cast only (interaction more important than one person as "comedian"), very situational (though some members of the group could be brilliant spontaneously).

The era of the comedy show (often combined with variety acts, but not always) was radio and then TV from 1945 to 1975 or so, with everyone from Jack Benny to Burns and Allen to Sid Caesar to Ozzie and Harriet, ending with skit comedians like Carol Burnette and Laugh-in.

Nowadays you get TV shows like "Everybody Loves Raymond" (no, they don't) or "Seinfeld" which must be the least funny "comedy" to ever have more than one season's run.

Off of TV, in clubs, you get stand-up comics and alternative comics and anything-goes comics and who-knows-what comics, and it's really hard to judge these folks unless they appear on TV in "Last Comic Standing" or "Night at the Improv" or some other (usually cable-only) show. Few of these folks have ever impressed me enough to learn their names, though a few have got through my defenses -- some because they have some part of their schtick that makes me itch (Bobcat Goldthwaite and Paul Poundstone, for example, though, once past the weird personal style they can both be funny).

So choosing the least funny among the various kinds of comics is hard work. Hard work, I tell you. Really hard.

So I won't choose one. Or even many. There are some I don't want to see or hear, like Jerry Seinfeld or Woody Allen, some I can take or leave, like Whoopi Goldberg (her early stuff was good, of late she's coasting), and some I seek out, though no name comes to mind.

I do remember one comedian, a stand-up comic, whose act was incredibly funny; unfortunately, I didn't get his name (on one of those cable shows I mentioned). His act consisted of saying, "I don't have enough time to tell the jokes, so I'll just give you the punch lines," followed by the punchlines of meany of the best classic jokes you've ever heard, delivered so fast you can't catch your breath. Your memory supplies the setup and straight-lines, and, despite their age, the jokes work. Now that is pure genius.

Songbob

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 08:02 AM

cetmst

peter Sellars was the most visible member of The Goon SHow, doing most of the (major) funny voices - accompanied by Milligan who did most of the rest....



btw,


Have you ever seen a comic strip?

it's not a pretty sight....



Oldie but goodie!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 08:22 AM

Love the Goons, but find Seagoon v tedious...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 09:06 AM

Seagoon - Harry Secombe - was the essential 'point of sanity' around which the whole madness revolved - and even he had difficulty not breaking up at times. While 'Greenslade' is most often remembered as the 'straight announcer', Valentine Dyall - the deep 'horror voice' was IMO, a far better straight (and funnier - like Cleese in his 'straight man' roles) man...
~~~~~~~
If you don't get this one - you must be American...

Bluebottle: What time is it Eccles?
Eccles: Err, just a minute. I've got it written down here on a piece of paper. A nice man wrote the time down for me this morning.
Bluebottle: Then why do you carry it around with you, Eccles?
Eccles: Well, if anybody asks me the time, I can show it to them.
Bluebottle: Wait a minute Eccles, my good man...
Eccles: What is it fellow?
Bluebottle: It's writted on this bit of paper, what is eight o'clock, is writted.
Eccles: I know that my good fellow. That's right. When I asked the fella to write it down, it was eight o'clock.
Bluebottle: Well then, supposing when somebody asks you the time, it isn't eight o'clock?
Eccles: Then I don't show it to them.
Bluebottle: Well how do you know when it's eight o'clock?
Eccles: I've got it written down on a piece of paper!

(the full routine continues, but I don't want to do a complete spoiler...)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 09:31 AM

I think Secombe is often underrated in the Goons. As Foolestroupe says, he was the 'straight man' that all the other characters revolved around. If you hear the few episodes made without Secombe present, where he was replaced by other comics, you notice the difference (these were usually because Secombe was ill, or maybe had other commitments).

When Sellers or Milligan was absent and replaced, the difference was not so noticeable, because other actors/comedians would put on the characters' voices and do a reasonable impression of them. 'Neddie Seagoon' was not so easy to imitate, so instead they replaced the character, to the show's detriment.

In one episode, Sellers was absent, and replaced by a few others - none of them individually was able to do all his characters' voices. But in another episode where Milligan was absent at short notice (probably through ill health), Sellers read all Milligan's lines as well as his own, and few people (apart from those present in the studio audience) noticed the difference!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 07 Mar 07 - 09:46 AM

"I think Secombe is often underrated in the Goons"

'Comics' are ten a penny - now a good 'straight man' is worth his weight in gold... he needs to control himself so as not to 'blow' the punch lines...

btw, a mention above of a comic who just quotes punch lines from jokes, both The Goons (who mainly used 'Service' (Military) Jokes) and Monty Python did that too, but MP also often just ran together several routines which HAD no punchlines....

If you don't know the jokes, then isolated punch lines like 'your turn in the barrel' pass right over your head... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 02:33 AM

Benny Hill.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 03:25 AM

Foolestroupe - I'm American, though I live in the UK (everybody gotta be somewhwere!) and ANY exchange between Bluebottle and Eccles reduces me to tears of laughter in seconds...

I also do a fairly credible Bluebottle impression.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 05:55 AM

If you don't know the jokes, then isolated punch lines like 'your turn in the barrel' pass right over your head... :-)

One of the many amusing things about listening to the Goons is to spot these apparently innocuous remarks in the script. The BBC's censorship was pretty draconian in those days, and Milligan enjoyed the game of trying to slip things past them, such as the above punchline quoted by Foolestroupe.

The character Hugh Jampton was introduced for the same reason. He got away with that too. It would be interesting to know what was edited out of the scripts that the censors did spot.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 06:44 AM

For the non-British:

Hugh Jampton -> Hampton Wick,

which is rhyming slang for Big D...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 07:47 AM

ricky gervais for me... just don't get it AT all

or Catherine Tate

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 09:44 AM

Am I bovvered? Do I look bovvered? Look at my face, do I look bovvered? Am I bovvered, though?

Hmm, I see what you mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Mar 07 - 09:49 PM

"ricky gervais"

Ah - very BLACK (nothing to do with racism!) humour - think Joe Orton (Loot! - although that is not considered as 'black' nowadays as it was when it first appeared, we have accepted it) and many others - in his latest 'Extras' - he manages to turn most of it against himself - and he is showing maturity - acceptance that his life is mostly shit and that most of the people in his life are utter selfish dickheads. In the Office HE was the biggest selfish dickhead.

I also just love how he manages to con people like Ronnie Corbett, David Bowie, Diana Rigg, 'Harry Potter' et. al. into clever cameo roles... :-)


Black humour can be described as the sort of thing that you are unable to stop watching (like a slow motion train wreck), even though you are almost throwing up with disgust, while at the same time almost unable to breathe from laughing too hard.... not for everybody's taste, l know - but also has very clever satire and parody ...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 05:10 AM

Growing up, I thought that the Marx Bros were about as funny as a dose of the clap.
However, I knew people who would laugh at a dose of the clap.

Jim Carrey makes me cringe.

For my money, Dave Allen was the best.

Humour is subjective, and I don't like slapstick. Nor clowns.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Mar 07 - 08:14 PM

I really can't stand the Marx Brothers either. Not funny, just very annoying. I keep hoping that someone will punch Groucho. What a jerk.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Bill Hahn//\\
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 04:39 PM

Captain Spaulding will never forgive you---here he has hunted Elephant in Alabama because the Tuscaloosa.   

Groucho must be the cornerstone for most of the comics that evolved since==So to this thread I must now quote the good Captain---or possibly Rufus T Firefly---"...hello, hello, I must be going".

Bill Hahn

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Irish sergeant
Date: 10 Mar 07 - 09:24 PM

i only laugh at doses of the clap when they happen to the creepy people. Worst comedian George W. bush. Neil

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Walrus
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 07:16 AM

Jeremy Hardy can kill any comedy stone dead as far as I'm concerned

I never rated Ben Elton as a comic either *he was slightly better as a writer).

W

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: guitar
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 11:00 AM

i agree Cathrine Tate, bloody crap

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 11:33 AM

Only in England will you ever see anything quite as bad as the world's two worst comics teaming up to form the world's worst double act.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you......... "CANNON & BALL". Please take 'em as far away as possible.

Don T.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 12:57 PM

"How many times must the cannonballs fly, before they're forever banned?"

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Mar 07 - 10:29 PM

Gabe Kaplan

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: John on the Sunset Coast
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 09:30 PM

A Muslim asked Groucho Marx if he would pray for him. Groucho looked at the audience and said, "In a minaret...if not sooner," and waggled his enormous cigar.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: WFDU - Ron Olesko
Date: 12 Mar 07 - 10:35 PM

The Marx Brothers were brilliant. The early films such as Animal Crackers and Horsefeathers are among my favorites of all time. Groucho could adlib better than anyone I ever heard. There is no comparison when they were at the top of their game. Unfortunately, they did keep the act going well past its prime. Avoid Room Service like the plague.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 10:03 AM

Avoid Room Service like the plague.

Yes, that's true of many hotels I've stayed in, too :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Stringsinger
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:30 AM

Sharon Silverman. Gross and not funny but kind of cruel.

South Park should be renamed South Fart. Infantile humor.

Seinfeld is bland but better at stand-up.

Milton Berle never got to my funnybone but he was a great showman.

I never really got Abbott and Costello but I admit their show-biz skill.

Don't care for that Andrew Clay Dice guy either.

Don't like the racist humor on some of the so-called country comics today.

Frank Hamilton

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,ib48
Date: 13 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM

michael barrymore,never been funny,embarrasing but never funny

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: GUEST,sally
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 04:43 AM

How come no one said dane cook? Listening to him relationship jokes and sex jokes, with dane, you kind feel like ou heard the jokes before.

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:49 AM

Yeah, Barrymore is crap...

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: Scrump
Date: 14 Mar 07 - 11:49 AM

...200!

Subject: RE: BS: Worst comedian ever?
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Mar 07 - 06:33 AM

"South Park should be renamed South Fart. Infantile humor."

Never really got into them much - but did love their 'Underpants Stealing Gnomes' episode...

The Grand Master Plan:

1) Steal Underpants
3) Take over the world

"What's part 2"

"We haven't worked that out yet"...