BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old

Subject: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Goose Gander
Date: 20 Apr 09 - 11:44 PM

How to Live to be 100 Years Old

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Barry Finn
Date: 20 Apr 09 - 11:46 PM

Do you have to be British??

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Gurney
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 12:48 AM

I think it helps if you don't die!

I read a book of interviews with Sardinian oldies. All but one had lived physical lives and were still active, drank red wine in moderation, and ate seasonal, local, unprocessed foods.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 12:51 AM

Then there's Chongo's method:

1. Drink hard liquor every day if you can afford it.
2. Climb a lot of walls, trees, and other vertical surfaces.
3. Swear, cuss, and carry on...don't be afraid to express yourself!
4. Engage in some gratuitous violence at least twice a week.
5. Smoke a good cigar or two every day...Cuban are best.
6. Always carry a loaded gun.
7. Flirt with good lookin' dames, but be a gentleman at all times.
8. Pay your bills only when you have no choice, and not a moment sooner.
9. Stay clear of shady lawyers and shylocks.
10. Open fire when you can see the whites of their eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 02:08 AM

A doctor told his patient bad news, you've only got six months to live, asked if there was anything he could do the doctor replied, no smoking, absolutely no alcohol, no rich food and definately no sex, the patient replied, " will all this make me live longer ? " the doctor said , no but it will sure seem like it.

Dave H

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Crane Driver
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 03:47 AM

Well, when my father turned 97 the local paper sent a reporter who asked the secret of his age - he replied 'Being born a long time ago'.

I'll go with that.

Andrew

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 05:22 AM

Theye forget to mention that you should get plenty of nookie.

Its good for your heart.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 05:53 AM

It said "being active for 30 minutes a day" so...

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Peace
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 05:54 AM

plenty of nookie

The word 'nookie' entered the English language in 1928 (according to the M-W Dictionary. It's an established term.

What does plenty mean?

I am 61 years old and will thrice yearl;y cut it? I neeeeed to know.

George

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 08:47 AM

Man went to the doctor.

"Doctor, is there ANYTHING I can do to live to be a hundred and twenty?"

After considering it the doctor replied, "Yes. Go way, way back in the hills and marry a widow with twelve young children. Buy a farm where the soil is mostly rocks and a broken down, spavined old mule to plow the ground with. Walk everywhere. Grow your own food from the farm. After you do that, give any money and possessions you have left over from your previous life to charity."

"Good Lord! How will that make me live to be a hundred and twenty?"

"It won't, but it will make the next five years seem like it."

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 09:55 AM

Thanks, Michael, there's some good advice to follow.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 01:05 PM

"Plenty" is a relative term, Peace. It means different things to different people.

For me, plenty of whiskey, for example, would be half a shot glass in a year. For Chongo? A truckload.

Plenty of beer for me would be a bottle or two of the bilge-rot a year. For Shane? A brewery-full might suffice.

Plenty of sex? Well, I guess about 3 times a week for me at this point would be plenty. Shane claims that he gets it about 50 times a week, but I think he's lying. Not laying. Lying.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 03:13 PM

I've already lived to be 111 in base 7.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 08:20 PM

well to me, in this context at least, "plenty" would have to be pretty much interchangeable with "some" or "any" ...

... Tell you what, I'll meet you down the cemetery and we can dig together ...

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Apr 09 - 08:56 PM

"Plenty" = "Enough". I've seen plenty of troubles and I've got plenty of nothin'....

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: GUEST,Rog Peek
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 06:41 AM

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
Clement Freud

Rog

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 12:54 PM

I once did not smoke, drink, or have sex or even look at a woman for a whole day. I wanted to see if I could take it. I have to say it was the toughest damn thing I have ever faced in my life. It seemed to take forever.

I am sure as hell never gonna do that again!

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Gurney
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 08:08 PM

Peace, three times a year is pretty good.   

For a Priest, in a country parish.



Chong', if your normal life is as advertised, how do you celebrate?

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 08:17 PM

I just increase the usual amounts of everything by about a factor of 5 when I celebrate. It gets kinda hard to keep count after that.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Peace
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 08:22 PM

"How to live to be 100 years old"

Abstain from the sins of this world: no sex, no booze, no grass, no rock and roll.

Regardless of the age at which you die, you will THINK you're a 100 years old.

Subject: RE: BS: How to Live to be 100 Years Old
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Apr 09 - 08:38 PM

Sounds exactly like my day to day life... (grin) Perhaps that accounts for my relatively youthful appearance at age 60. How I wish I had the energy level to match it.