BS: It made me laugh....

Subject: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:23 PM

I read the Real ATlantic Superstore flyer on the internet this morning while sipping tea at 5AM. The paper doesn't arrive until about 7AM.

Some stuff that is usually $1.79 each was on for a buck. I was at the the store at opening and got some and I got a treat... sommat to munch on while watching the Tom's Curling Brier this weekend... a large veggie tray with salad dressing. Baby cut carrots, celery, broccoli and cauliflower. Decadent? Yes. But, I live alone and to buy the stuff would mean I wouldn't be able to eat it all before I would have to throw some out. That is my excuse, and I am sticking to it.

I opened the fridge. I moved a few things around and made space for the LARGE plastic veggie tray on a top shelf. As I was putting the tray in the fridge, I let go of it with my left hand. As it was supported only with my right thumb on the top, the weight of the 1600g tray was cantilevered in such a way that the lid let go and, in a rather spectacular fashion, about three quarters of the veggies made their escape.

Many tried to hide in amongnst the fridge contents, on every shelf. Some even hid under the fridge. The less intelligent ones simply laid on the floor.

I gathered the escapees in the plastic grocery bag, thinking I would rinse them in a colander, boil them for five minutes, and create a delicious veggie stir fry. Indeed, this was a blessing in disguise.

I cleaned the fridge and the floor. I felt my initial anger subside as I had a plan to make lemonade from lemons.

I went to my office, down the hall, about twenty feet from the fridge. I was looking for the light on the answering machine when I stepped on... A CARROT!

I let out a roar of not-so-nice... how in the hell did you get all the way down here???... and then took to laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 05:36 PM

I had a buddy in the NWT who lost it for a bit and took a jet from Yellowknife to Halifax with a refueling stop in Val d'Or. He was going to visit his mom, a decision he'd arrived at over a few (dozen) beer. Rented a taxi in Halifax and began driving northward. They stopped at bars along the way. He never did see her but returned to Yellowknife on Monday with a case of live lobsters. They got loose in his place and he thought he'd got 'em all captured again. About four days later he could detect--nay, the odor of a daed sea creature assailed his olfactory lobes and there one was under his refrigerator. I commiserate with you, gnu.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:37 PM

Maybe the lobster was after the carrot.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Peace
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:37 PM

Great minds . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: meself
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:49 PM

I had a case of lobsters once. Very traumatic, but the doctor said it happens more often than you'd think. And he gave me a pamphlet that advised me to be more choosy about the company I keep ... and so I joined Mudcat ...

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 06:50 PM

a few years ago, someone turned over a pickup truck load of crabs here on the Capital Beltway...(6 lanes in 2 directions)


Cars were stopping and trying to turn this accident into a free meal...they were getting bitten, and still grabbing more crabs.....some got away before the police arrived.

(no not THAT kind of crabs, Bruce)

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: artbrooks
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:04 PM

I understand that you can catch lobsters from the seats of outhouses in Maine...

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 13 Mar 09 - 07:30 PM

Only if they are in ice fishing huts.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: kendall
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 04:08 PM

I had a new neighbor who came here from Ohio, and I wanted to make him welcome so I gave him a live Lobster.I told him how to cook it; he smiled, said thanks and took it home. A few days later I asked him if he liked the lobster,and he said, "I didn't have the heart to boil it so I took it out in the woods and set it free."

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: CarolC
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 04:51 PM

Must have been one of those running carrots

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:01 PM

"...took it out in the woods and set it free."

Kendall, you should have explained to him that they are BRED in those tanks in the stores & restaurants and that turning it loose in the woods would mean it will probably be building a nest in some stream and eating the fish!

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: olddude
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:11 PM

Arrrr WE Can't hold them back much longer Captain !!!

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Peace
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:16 PM

'I had a new neighbor who came here from Ohio, and I wanted to make him welcome so I gave him a live Lobster.I told him how to cook it; he smiled, said thanks and took it home. A few days later I asked him if he liked the lobster,and he said, "I didn't have the heart to boil it so I took it out in the woods and set it free."'

LOLOL

Good one, Kendall.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 05:28 PM

Ya know.... even a fellah from Ohio would be astounded by the aroma of lobster and beer the day after. Broccoli got NOTHIN on lobster.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: maeve
Date: 14 Mar 09 - 08:23 PM

Maybe, gnu; unless he'd experienced the aroma of crawdads and beer.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:25 PM

Crawdads? Is that what them there inlanders eat? Scrawny little things?... the crawdads, that is. Take a lot a them to fill a lobster pot.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: maeve
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:31 PM

Yes- good though.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:32 PM

You ain't never seen no Idaho crawdads, have ya? Ya go after 'em with bubblegum (chewed) on the end of a string, only when ya get a bite you gotten finish 'em off with a .375 Magnum (at least) rifle shot. Suckers average about 10 feet long and stand about 4 feet high at the withers.

DANGED good eatin', though.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:34 PM

They stand?

But, can the stand on their heads?

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:37 PM

Rapaire ye tell mair lies than Tam Pepper an he got kicked ooto hell fur tellin lies

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: maeve
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:49 PM

Which part was the lie- the bubblegum or that they have withers?

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:54 PM

I won the "Truth In Telling Award" every day when I was in grade school. I even now speak naught except the Truth. I am so totally committed to the Truth that I always tell it, completely and fully. Sometimes I even tell a Truth And A Half, or several at the same time because of my personal commitment to Truth.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Megan L
Date: 15 Mar 09 - 01:56 PM

Aye son a believe ye :)

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Michael
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 09:51 AM

The trouble with that, Rapaire, is that you can often be left with the odd half truth to use up.

Mike

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Amos
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 10:01 AM

YEs. Rapaire's head, after all these years, is just filled with odd things that are half-true. It's difficult.



A

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 10:15 AM

There are many classifications of farts: The tail gunner, the cheek flapper, the whizzser, ...

I had a growler yersterday and my dog started barking and preparing to attack the "intruder".

It made me laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: It made me laugh....
From: Dead Horse
Date: 16 Mar 09 - 01:27 PM

The idea that a in-store bred lobster could possibly survive in the wild is ridiculous.
It would very soon be mugged by a passing kindergarten school of tiddlers!