BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]

Subject: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:04 AM

goverment are sending everybod a leaflet about terrorists, it says we should stock up on, tinned food, bottled water and batteries.

I will get the tinned food, but not water or batteries, bottled water is a big rip off., and Only thing I own that uses batteries is my telly remote control, and i don;t watch telly much.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: el ted
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:46 AM

Why not fill your bath courtesy of Yorkshire Water, then bottle your own?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: el ted
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:47 AM

ps: Don't bathe in it before you bottle it

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: The Walrus
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:48 AM

Oh dear! "Protect and Survive" for the 21st Century?

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Bagpuss
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 06:05 AM

Yeah, take a leaf out of Dasani's book (but without the health scare....)

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Ellenpoly
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 07:21 AM

I prefer the old Government Warning take-off from the 50s about what to do in an Atomic Bomb attack which ended with, "bend over, put your head between your legs, and kiss your ass goodbye."

..xx..e

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:38 AM

Is there an election coming up soon in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Bagpuss
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:43 AM

Not till next year unless they call it early

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 11:44 AM

How far ahead of elections do they start electioneering in the UK?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 04:56 PM

Only use batteries for the remote? No radio?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: greg stephens
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 05:59 PM

JOhn: you'll be all right in Hull, Bin Liner won't have heard of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 06:12 PM

It's all part of Blair's trying to distract the country from what a lying bastard he is.
He's just had his "Investiigation into Iraq" which states that the reports were a pack of lies based on dubious or questionable "evidence" plus stuff which was just "made up", then presented in a "sexed-up" speech by Blair. It states that major mistakes were made at all points of the process, but for some unfathomable reason "Nobody was to blame...."
BOLLOCKS!
Nobody believes the conclusions, which are totally at odds with the actual "findings".
Blair and Bush think that if they cry wolf (or terrorist conspiracy) long and loud enough, the Country will believe them - Isn't that pretty much what Adolph Hitler did with Jews?
QUack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 09:20 PM

ted=waht you writing in different colours for?

i think ted is just showing off, becasuse he knows how to do diffrent colours!

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: open mike
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 09:27 PM

no flashlight/?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Jul 04 - 10:31 PM

John is too bright and trendy to need a 'flash' light... :-)

If anyone is planning to throw their leaflet away - would you might posting it to me here in Australia please?

Wiil send you an Aussie postcard or two in return...

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Metchosin
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 02:38 AM

we get the same kind of leaflets from the government in BC, but they are for earthquakes.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 03:12 AM

I've seen a "condensed" version of the leaflet being dropped in the collective British lap. It looks just like any and all of the asinine palliatives which have been used in the past in order to numb that part of the public brain which is liable to recognise truth. A load of shite in other words. If governments ---governments ao ANY colour---have, or ever had, any real concern for the ability of their public to react well and be better equipped to deal with catastrophe, then telling them that they will need food, water and light ["doh!" is the appropriate riposte, I think] is about as useful as telling a boxing champ to keep his guard up in defence of his chin! Sure---remind the people that earthquake, flood or any other disaster can strike without warning. But don't do sick-making maneuvers which are too obviously ploys for getting the public behind an even more sick-making foreign policy. I watched a programme tonight called "the Passionate Eye" on Canadian tv. It dealt with the story of the hostage-taking in a Moscow theatre, where a brilliant rescue was brought to almost naught simply because the Russian squaddies who carried anaesthetised people out to the fresh-air base on the street just did not have the simple training which should have told them that you NEVER lay an unconscious person on their back; their tongue is almost certain to close their airway. And in that state even a partial return to consciousness can be ---and often is---fatal when the common incidence of vomiting occurrs. I have been first aid trained since I turned eleven years of age. But the point I make is this;m I had to do this on my OWN INITIATIVE. I have always been of the opinion, and I believe justifiably, that Not only the simple, straightforward actions which can save many, many lives be part of the curriculum of education in any society, but further, a grounding in more advanced first aid should be taught.
   Till something like this becomes the norm, I'm afraid I shal continue to question the motives of the leaflet producers.
   PS. And I AM able to spell "manoeuvres"---but quite a lot of what the Americans do can be quite sensible [!!!]

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: el ted
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 06:50 AM

Yes I am showing off jOhn. You filled that bath yet?

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: GUEST
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 08:16 AM

Presumably the shops will be out of bottled water any time now.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Stu
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 08:27 AM

I am quite looking forward to getting my leaflet - should be a good laugh!

If it is half as funny as protect and survive it will be a hoot! Just a shame they used our money to put it all together. Seems an expensive way to say to the general populace if the balloon goes up, you're f**ked!

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Folkien
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 08:37 AM

Apparently this waste of trees is costing the British taxpayer eight million quid.

"bend over, put your head between your legs, and kiss your ass goodbye."

If Blair would stop kissing Bush's arse we'd all be a lot better off. Just who are we supposed to vote for at the next election? They're all such a bunch of tossers.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:35 AM

Duct tape! The US Dept. of Homeland Security said so! Duct tape! It's not just for everything any more!

And MREs. And gas masks. And why bother with bottled water when you can buy a filter that removes both germs and radioactivity (of course, you could always simply distill it)? And protective plastic suits.

And toilet paper. You're gonna need lots of toilet paper.

Oops. It's hard to use the toilet paper when you're wearing the protective plastic suit.

Reminds me of Jerry Falwell and the move from 1999 to 2000. Supposedly, he knew that when 2000 dawned he'd be taken right up to Heaven. Yes, indeed, bodily assumed into heaven with all other Good Christians in The Rapture. So he stocked up on food and ammunition. Ammunition.

"Pardon me, God, but would you give me a hand with this case of 7.62mm ammo? I'm just arrived in heaven, and...what?"

I kinda doubt that Hull, whether in England or Illinois, will be the target of a terrorist attack.

Back during the first Gulf War, the story goes, the police in Fairbanks were called because of a suspected terrorist skulking around a local business. The cops investigated, and the next day they reported that they didn't think it likely that terrorist would be skulking around the local junkyard. In Fairbanks, Alaska. In January. And besides, the night watchman had worked there for years....

Actually, much of most governments SHOULD bend over, grab their ears, pull long and hard and steadily, and when they hear a sucking POP! their head will have come out of their arse.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 09:53 AM

Seems like they're just like our "Alert but not Alarmed" leaflets - lotsa' trees died in vain in both cases, and lotsa' taxpayer money was wasted.

Any fans here of Raymond Brigg's "When the Wind Blows?" Eric Bogle wrote a song about it, too.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Bagpuss
Date: 27 Jul 04 - 10:01 AM

I loved When the Wind Blows; I cried buckets the first time I read it.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 06:11 AM

I havent got my leaflit yet, I think its suppised to tell us how to spot a terrorist, and waht to do if they go to your house.
thats easy-terrorists have got beards, and if they go to your house, don't let them in, just slam the door, then phone the police.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 08:17 AM

We Aussies got a fridge magnet to protect us from terrorists a while ago - many thousands put 'RTS' on the envelope and sent them back....

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 09:57 AM

...So that's where they all came from!
I remember the Beyond the Fringe Sketch about putting your head in a brown paper bag, and I'm sure in the '50s we were told to get under the kitchen table if the Russians dropped the Bomb!
Re: Kiss your Arse goodby. I always mutter this at the end of the safety demo on planes. I understand the brace position is not to save you ,just preserve your teeth for identification later (wouldn't work for me, last at dentist in 1969).
Fascinating Aida have a song abour kissing your arse goodbye if the bomb drops, I keep meaning to try to learn it.
RtS
(NOT RTS)

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 10:42 AM

This reminds me of a scene in the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. Ford Prefect has just told the barman that the world is about to end:

Barman: I thought that if the world was going to end we were meant to lie down or put a paper bag over our head or something.

Ford: If you like, yes.

Barman: Will that help?

Ford: No.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: gnomad
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 01:42 PM

A parody

I like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Terrorist Leaflets [UK]
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 28 Jul 04 - 09:50 PM

ROFL... we need more of this - especially in song format...