BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

TWO HUNDRED!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

200 spatulas hang on the wall. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:04 PM

shit

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:09 PM

Har! You missed! The 200th post was mine!

Did you hear me?

MINE!!!

Yeah, sure, it was just a dumb accident but shit happens...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:14 PM

As you say! At least it was you, not that rat's ass GUEST: _____________ .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Teresa
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:15 PM

Brucie, are you taking German lessons. In the sentences, spatulas and people putting placing flipping. ;)

Ok, syntax is not perfect. Mind your spatulas and flippers!

Teresa

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:18 PM

Thank you Teresa. Indeed it attention that mind. So, in, thanks again.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 03:32 PM

Watchit! Or, as our dear missing but presumed still breathing friend Sir JoHn from Hull would say:

"THis is spatula thred, not sentax thred! Yu want sintax go find ssyntax thred! Now bugger off!"

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Feb 05 - 04:40 PM

"Spatulas are rubbish!" is what jOhn would say. Then he'd tell us a goofy story of how a few spatulas were stuck in the spokes of that stupid bike that was thrown into his yard as trash.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 12:23 AM

I can't believe that people have actually posted to the "Man Urinates Way Out of Car" one but let this languish near the bottom. If he'd had a spatula, he wouldn't have needed to pee all over his car.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: *Laura*
Date: 05 Feb 05 - 02:10 PM

two.
i'm bi-spatual. :-) hehe

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 13 Feb 05 - 07:25 PM

arriving soon---pictures of my new spatula...
foto sent to jeff today...
it is a many splendored thing...
like the swiss army knife
or multi-pliers type tool
with many tools in one!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: open mike
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 01:07 PM

The leather man (leather woman) of kitchen gadgets
fine article of spatulism doodad

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Feb 05 - 02:04 PM

Lurel, I am in awe! That isn't just a spatula. That's a work of art. It is to ordinary spatulas as VanGogh's "Starry Night" is to kids' fingerpaintings. Congratulations.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Jack
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:11 PM

I don't need no stinking spatula I have the
perfect pancake maker. All these years of eating pancakes cooked on one side are over.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:12 PM

Be still my beating heart.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:23 PM

I just have one spatula. Here's why!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:28 PM

Wow Peace

You can really stir things up with that sucker.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:38 PM

It's a multi-purpose tool. Kinda 'Swiss Army Knife' of the spatula world. It can also be used as a dining table, boat, cricket wicket, direction sign (something like a "Pancakes 'r' Us" advertising sign), and in a pinch, a conversation piece. Helluva handy tool.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:40 PM

I can't get THAT in my belt!..no fair!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:46 PM

LOL

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:48 PM

I own 4 Peace !!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:50 PM

Really? WOW!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:53 PM

Yeah !

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:55 PM

U DA MAN 6 !

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 11:58 PM

I'm kewl, I'm kewl, I'm real kewl !!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: bobad
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:00 AM

Kewl don't do it justice, you freezing man.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:07 AM

Git Down !!

(doin a James Brown spin)

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bard Judith
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:22 AM

How many, eh?

One metal one (not-allowed-to-use-because-all-our-pans-are-teflonated)

Two plastic ones - one large and wide and slotted... one small and solid and slightly scorched at the leading edge, giving it a space-shuttle-on-reentry sort of look.

Waaaaaay too many of the cheap wooden Ikea kind that start looking downright fluffy around the edges after being repeatedly washed and scraped across burnt eggs and washed again...

Does my chrome-plated pie lifter thingy count? It looks like a 'fish slice' and is spatulatesque...

How about my putty knife which is currently on the kitchen windowsill, and (I confess) has been used in spatuloid maneuvers when all the other ones were dirty?


And has anyone else ever used the lid of a CD case as a pancake flipper/egg easer/ meat turner? Or wrapped an old credit card in tin foil for the same purpose? 'Fess up, guys...

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: number 6
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:31 AM

A cd case .... ??

Wouldn't there be an eau de plastique when flipping around the hot pan?

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 02:33 AM

I have some bad news, folks. One of the spatulas I had when I started this thread is no longer with us. Yes, it has gone to that great Waffle House in the sky where all good spatulas go when they've flipped their final hamburger patty. The poor thing got left a little too close to a stove burner and... well, does the term "amorphous blob of soot-tinged white plastic" mean anything to you?

The spatula is sorely missed and any help you may feel inclined to offer to help get us through the grieving process would be appreciated. If you want to send some flowers, that'd be nice. Money would be better. If you don't have the cash, I take VISA, Mastercard and American Express.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 02:55 AM

I believe I recall seeing something akin that years ago--sort of like two small teflon skillets hinged together which cooked everything from crepes to grilled cheese sandwiches & burgers.
   Ever notice that it is impossibe to find a real rubber (not plastic) spatula these days? Not to mention a metal spatula--if the person at the store even knows what one is. It is easy, however, to find el cheapo pancake flipper devices, especially the kind that melt in the pan.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: GUEST,Ingrid Frances Stark
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 04:03 AM

How many spatulae?
    Well, when Stephen Lee moved in with me we each had a full stock of kitchen accoutrements. I find at least 20 in the kitchen, but who knows how many may be hiding in as yet unpacked boxes somewhere in the basement? I think we fall well within the parameters of the spatula rich.
    Perhaps we could get together for a spatula swapping party, or establish a spatula bank for distribution of our excesses to those in need....

Ingrid

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:41 PM

Many of the [sic] rubber scrapers are made of silicon these days. They don't melt like the rubber did. So far I haven't murdered any to report back on what does take them out.

That turner-less pancake maker is just a cheap knockoff of a krumkake iron. You can make waffles with pancake batter on your krumkake iron, though I've never bothered to try it. I just make krumkake, and I use a pancake turner-type spatula to remove each cookie from the iron.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 01:49 PM

Expensive, these.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:03 PM

I'm sorry, Bee-Dubya, for the loss of your beloved. After I read your post I felt I had to do something to mark the passing of your spatula, and this being Veterans' Day I couldn't think of anything more appropriate than a twenty-one gun salute.

So I hauled out my Enfield, dug around until I found some bullets, and went outside to fire the salute. I also took my trumpet so that I could play "Taps."

After nine or ten shots the cops showed up. I explained what I was doing, and they agreed that it was a fine and noble thing, so they joined in. I went inside and got some coffee and doughnuts, and by the time I come outside again the neighbors were helping as well. By and by someone opened a case of beer, another feller brought a grill over and pretty soon we were having one heckuva funeral salute for your beloved spatula.

All in all, several thousand rounds were fired, if you include those by Crazy Eric, who brought his rabbit gun over. I didn't get to play "Taps," but a couple of guys with bagpipes did pipe "Johnny Cope," which everyone enjoyed a lot more.

Things kinda broke up after a flight of Idaho Air Guard Warthogs fired their salute into the ground. We figured we couldn't top that, go we all did a hand salute and went on home.

Those Warthogs sure did tear the golf course out back a new one, though. Lots more holes for the golfers to chose from now....

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:13 PM

I'm the current high bidder on a thunderbird at eBay, but it won't shoot holes in anything, including your golfcourse. I'll take a look and see if they sell spatulas next.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:50 PM

eBay search (may not be a durable link).

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:01 AM

Space Walkers Lose Spatula!>

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:05 AM

There was only one thing missing from the spacewalk: Sellers' spatula.

It flew overboard, off the right side of the shuttle's payload bay.

"No sign of the spatula. I think it's gone, gone, gone," Sellers said of the kitchen appliance, 14 inches long and 2 inches wide.

When Sellers was nearing the finish of his extended seven-hour, 11-minute spacewalk, mission control teased him by making him count his spatulas. He still had five left, from a total of 6.

"Rub it in, rub it in," Sellers said.

It is rare for spacewalkers to lose such a tool, but "it is no hazard to us," Gonzalez-Torres said. Nonetheless, military monitors of space debris were notified of the new hazard to track.

Gonzalez-Torres praised the duo for using the goo to repair five of eight mock test sites. The other three were there in case they had extra time to work, but they were sent to their next task.

I can see the art work now. . .

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: skipy
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:14 AM

anagram of

spatula, sellers, fossum

a leafless lotus mr puss
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 01:01 PM

"After I read your post I felt I had to do something to mark the passing of your spatula,"

Keriste, if he passed a spatula, we better have a moment of silence for his anal sphincter. Man, that has GOT to HURT!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 01:05 PM

And while we're on that topic, do you know why turds are tapered at the ends?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 02:37 PM

Yes, I know...but I'm sure I don't know the funny answer.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 02:46 PM

So yer AH don't slam shut!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:33 PM

Lost my spatula, what'll I do?

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Peace
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:34 PM

Skip to the loo.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Kaleea
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 04:54 PM

So, I'm wondering--just what does a spaceman's spatula look like? When they dropped it, did it make a sound? What does one say when one drops a spatula in outer space? "Whoopsie!" just doesn't seem to do it.

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 06:26 PM

I bet there's no five-second rule out there, either.

No floor to hit!

Subject: RE: BS: How Many Spatulas Do YOU Own???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Jul 06 - 10:24 PM

Oh no! The poor spatula! Imagine how traumatized the remaining five spatulas in his collection are!   

I shall telephone my congressman and insist that NASA scrub the rest of the mission and mount a full-fledged rescue attempt! You know they'd try to recover it if it was something unimportant like a landing gear.