Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 12:55 AM

Judy mostly napped peacefully through visiting hours today. I did get a little more chance to talk to doctors. I'm getting from them that they see enough positives now to make a good long-term recovery plausible. She had a brain scan since visiting hours yesterday, with no real visible problems. She has needed some degree of sedation regularly to help her rest peacefully, so they can't really get further meaningful eeg results yet. For now they just keep checking her ability to respond when she's awake, and her progress is at least encouraging. But they're watching heart, lung, and kidney functions carefully; things are still very risky.

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 02:22 AM

The only good thing about this, Dean, is that Judy is not as tense and worried as you. Take care of yourself.

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 07:34 PM

First Dean, please forgive me for not seeing this thread any sooner. I can only say I am sorry but now that I know, you have all the best from both Karen and I. Karen knows a lot about the waiting game. We both send you our love and best thoughts to you both. Keep yourself well and expect the best.......still too early to do anything else!

Pat and Karen

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Bobert
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 07:50 PM

Prayers still a'comin for Judy, F-prince...

B~

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 08:56 PM

Judy was awake most of the visiting hours today, and at least as responsive. Just after I arrived she appeared to mouth something to me; I asked if she wanted to talk to me, and she nodded. But it's necessary to restrain her arms with short straps to keep her from pulling out her tubing, and she still got a tube out of her nose. She keeps twisting and sliding around in the bed and tugging at her restraints incessantly, so they have to reposition her frequently to keep her lying so she can breath well. She has breathed some with just cpap (sp?) but has mostly still been on the respirator; heart very weak, and lots of fluid in her lungs. They don't want to keep the respirator in longer than the rest of this week; they may have to consider a tracheotomy.

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: maeve
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 09:04 PM

Good, Dean. I hope you are keeping some notes for Judy. She'll want to understand what has happened during the time she's been in the hospital. The two of you seem to be such a strong team- that's certainly in her favor!

Pretty soon you'll figure out a way to help her communicate without risking her pulling out vital equipment. For now she may need reassurance and to hear your voice talking to her. Can you work out a yes/no signal she could try? Eye blinks, finger taps, big toe wiggles...anything to give her a way to communicate and reduce her frustration.

Prayers and thoughts continue, and confidence that healing is progressing,

Maeve

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: frogprince
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 09:11 PM

She has nodded or shook her head ok for simple yes or no things since early on, but doesn't really seem to process anything at all subtle yet.

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: maeve
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 09:40 PM

Small steps will add up, Dean. You'll both be amazed at her progress; it's early days still.

Sweet dreams,

Maeve

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Janie
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 09:48 PM

Inch by inch Dean. The best way to measure progress.

Surrounding you both with light and love in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 10:41 PM

What Janie and maeve both said. Sound is the last faculty remaining when we get to the edge. It is very important that people be careful what they say around her and that she hear familiar voices, esp. yours, Dean, and music. We played Mozart on a cassette for my mom when she was in a coma and they didn't think she'd make it. She did for another 24+ years!

Much Love, Light, and Life,

kat

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Bugsy
Date: 12 Jun 12 - 10:55 PM

I posted on this thread early on but it must have got lost ine the ether.

Positive thoughts and love from across the world from me and Mrs Bugsy.

Hang in there.

Bugsy

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 01:24 AM

Thoughts, prayers and all possible best wishes are coming to you from Brooklyn.

I've been this route. Every day is a small, but hopeful step.

Jay

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 07:15 AM

Thinking of you both, wishing I weren't so helpless. Love and light...

Subject: RE: Thoughts and prayers for my wife, please
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 08:07 AM

Dear Dean, Ann & I will stay with you in this thread, but we are also so pleased that you have found time to join us in ours. We have both been overwhelmed by, or have succumbed to Life's nastier 'surprises' over the years, so we have some insight & understanding of your situation. However, our empathy & understanding can only get us so far...we will never know the true depths of your concern for your Beloved Wife, or the complexities of the medical problems that have so beset her. It leaves us feeling powerless & unable to help in any meaningful way. What we can do, along with the many wise & good people of Mudcat, is send Love, Positive Thoughts & Words of Comfort...all of which come from our Life Experience. Kat's suggestion about playing Music to your wife, I have to endorse 100%. Pieces that she particularly likes, combined with pieces that have some sort of special significance...you will know what's best to choose.
                                           With Love to You Both,
                                                                            Nigel & Ann
                                                                            xxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: kendall
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 08:35 AM

Let's keep up the positive energy; it does heal.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 10:22 AM

One day at a time.

Take care of yourself Dean. You can't afford to be ill right now.
Mary

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 11:50 AM

May this be a very good day.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 12:49 PM

Thinking of you.

al

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Beer
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 12:55 PM

Oh My!!
I've been on Mudcat these last few days but for some reason never seen this thread. I apologize for my lateness.

Dean, knowing you and Judy and spending some time at our home taking all those pictures of my bird houses, I sure can picture both of you as if it were yesterday. When the time is right please offer my get well wishes. Someone above said not to forget to eat and sleep. Very good advice.
Adrien

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Spot
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 05:15 PM

FP

God knows how I'd cope with what you guys must be
going through... You both have my sincerest best wishes...

Regards... Spot

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 06:20 PM

Yo froggy... youse are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep on hoppin, eh?

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 10:29 PM

Today was a wild ride, and my head is still spinning some.
Critical unit visiting hours are noon to seven. I arrived to find out that Judy had yanked out her respirator tube about 8:30AM. She was getting along without it so far, and they just left her to breath on her own for a while longer, then gave her a "bipap", which is an oxygen mask variation I had never heard of. Between breathing hookups
she said a few words; hard to understand because of what she did to her throat pulling the tube, but entirely rational. I got down to try to hear her, and she gave me the best kiss of my life on my cheek.
Her father and his lady friend came up a little later, and she was smiling ear to ear a lot while they were there.

She had a little incidental coughing during the day. Then, just before I would have left, she started prolonged severe coughing. They gave her lydocane (sp?) to soothe her throat, but still had to give her sedation. They were reluctant about further sedation, for fear of depressing her breathing to where she would need the respirator again.

So much that is so good, followed by a reminder of how delicate her condition still is.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 10:36 PM

Gonna have to be careful about that throat for quite a while. It's bad enough when they take the tube out, so I can only imagine what it's like after she yanked it out.

There's still lots of good stuff coming from Idaho.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: katlaughing
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 10:52 PM

Dean, I use a bipap every night to treat pulmonary hypertension. It's easy to use and makes sure one empties their breath as well as inspires, so there is no build-up of CO2. It helps one to deep breath which is a good way to prevent pneumonia from being in bed and sedated.

Remember for every one thing they do for her, it is meant to help, to make a safe environment for her heart and other organs involved and to reassure her. Sounds like that kiss meant she got the message! Don't look too far ahead, except to visualise the two of you waltzing out of there.:-) Remember for the moment: "Right Here, Right Now, All is Well, and We are Safe and Sound.

luvyakat

P.S. Do you have family/friends with you to help you through this?

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Janie
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 11:04 PM

Look down at your hands every now and again to see if the knuckles are white. If so, open the hands and gently stretch the fingers, breathing naturally paced, naturally deep breaths.

No forcing or artificial pacing of the breath.

As you breathe, note the tension in the head, neck and shoulders. Allow those muscles to relax. Lean over and kiss her cheek like she kissed yours.

Smile.

It won't hurt, and it may help.

Still here.

Janie

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Jun 12 - 11:18 PM

Yes, Kat; Her father, at 94, is still a real moral support for me. The next relative in distance is a brother-in-law (widower) who has already driven some hours to share time at the hospital. Other family members will support by phone, may make a 7 hour drive depending. Many folks, nearby and some at some distance, proving themselves real friends.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 12:42 AM

Dean, I know there is no way you can really relax, but try. Do you like the Docs and the nurses? Do you trust them okay? Sometimes they can be hard to understand and things that seem quite awful to you they see as a step towards a positive outcome. Sometimes it is almost impossible to see how, but those folks believe in what they do and most of them, if not all, are convinced they can heal anything.

Let me give you an example. Talk of a trach was bothersome I know but if that would be what it would take to keep her breathing and healing, its alright. Worst case is that when she improves there is an added time to wean from the respirator and the trach......but if it got her through a tough spot that's a good trade-off. As she heals there are going to be a lot of trade-offs but if they are all directed at bringing her back into some real sense of still having a great life......Hey.....Hang in and just keep this group pumping the good thoughts as well.

Don't know how to say this one but......Her life and yours are going to be forever changed by this event. That's changed, not wrecked. For all the world of things I have lost or lost the ability to do, for both Karen and I, these are great days and we're enjoying every moment we have. Some things I used to believe actually mattered I now find are really pretty silly or damn near meaningless.

Go back up a bit and read Janie's advice again, especially the "smile" part. The big part now is all about time. Time to be treated. Time to heal. Time to rehab. Time to get back into a sort of normal life. Time to be together......and that's the best time there is.

All good thoughts your way!!!!


Spaw

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 03:57 AM

"For all the world of things I have lost or lost the ability to do, for both Karen and I, these are great days and we're enjoying every moment we have."

Love it. Love you.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 05:19 AM

Dear Dean, Ann & I have made it over from 'The Rainbow' & will be around for just as long as you need us. Can't add much to what has been said already, so eloquently & profoundly. The Mudcat Elders doing what they do best. It's been said elsewhere, but eating & resting...'keeping body & soul together' as we used to say, is one thing you can do for yourself. Trust your Wife's Doctors & Nurses & try not to forget that the body's natural defences can still function, no matter how dire the situation appears. The healing process still remains one of Life's great enigmas.
                                                       With Love,
                                                                      Nigel & Ann
                                                                      xxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: GUEST,Dharmabum
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 06:16 AM

As I have found myself playing the role of caregiver these past few years,I cannot stress enough,the importance of taking care of yourself.
To Quote Jeri "The doctors and nurses will care for her, make sure you take care of you!"

Sending best thoughts ;
DB.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 07:15 AM

Love to you both, Dean.. xx

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 11:41 AM

Great posts and good advice.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: SINSULL
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 11:52 AM

Sounds like a kiss a day is in order.
Keeping you in my prayers.
Mary

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: GUEST,999
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 12:14 PM

Ditto, Dean. Say hello to J for me.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 07:54 PM

My thoughts and prayers continue.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 08:27 PM

One day at a time...

Prayers and healing thoughts comin' your way...

B~

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Beer
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 10:03 PM

My wife Judy is passing her get well wishes to your Judy.
ad.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: ranger1
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 10:35 PM

Still sending good thoughts and warm fuzzies your way.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Neil D
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 10:48 PM

Hang in there frogprince. We're all pulling for her.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 11:02 PM

Mostly another very "up" day. I came in to find Judy sitting in a regular chair, with just a simple non-pressurized oxygen mask. One friend to visit early, one of our bridesmaids with her husband to visit toward the end of the day; the way Judy talked and laughed with them, you would never have suspected what she's just been through.
We had rounded up a pad and pen, and been meaning to try her with it. I got it for her once when I couldn't quite make out what she wanted to say (throat still rough, and mask on). It took her a few moments to sort out how to grip the pen, but then she wrote "water" clearly.

Between visitors she got frustrated some, and asked "Can't we go check ourselves out of here?" and "Can't we go out and get something to drink?". She can't really keep a grip on some of the realities yet.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 11:08 PM

Things seem to really be improving! Must be the Mudcat Mojo workin'!

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Jun 12 - 11:10 PM

Just tell her she's at the spa! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Nigel Paterson
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 02:09 AM

Dean, that's much more positive news & so good to hear,
                   With Love,
                                  Nigel & Ann
                                  xxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 05:04 AM

my wife's been in hospital this week. I've been thinking of you wishing you all the very best.

al

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 05:06 AM

lots of good news & good advice

keep up the good work, Judy!

sandra

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 06:10 AM

froggy... "...the way Judy talked and laughed with them, you would never have suspected what she's just been through."

Now, THAT'S the way I like to start my day... great news!

Al... Ts&Ps for your wife and you as well.

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 06:27 AM

Very pleased that things are looking so much better, frogprince. Big Al Whittle, hope your wife, who has been in hospital, is recovering well too. Good wishes to all! Eliza

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 11:33 AM

Lots of good news and may it continue!


Spaw

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: olddude
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 03:47 PM

keep up the good news bro and give her my love
in my prayers
Dan

Subject: RE: Frog prince thoughts and prayers for my wife
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 15 Jun 12 - 05:56 PM

Frogprince, still sending hugs and prayers.

Big Al, the same on their way for you and your wife, too.