BS: Joke thread for 2024

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 17 Sep 24 - 04:35 AM

OK, two quote completions by Willy Rushton:

Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings ....
    .... and straight down the back of your suit.

It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle ....
    .... if you put it through the liquidiser first.

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: Neil D
Date: 22 Sep 24 - 08:00 AM

There are three kinds of people, those who can do math and those who can't.

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Sep 24 - 09:13 AM

Nah. There are 10 kinds. Those who understand binary and those that don't.

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: MaJoC the Filk
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 06:30 AM

IMHO the two sorts of people are those who divide the world into two sorts of people, and the rest of us.

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: gillymor
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 07:07 AM

Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamps.

-sounds like a Stephen Wright.

Subject: RE: BS: Joke thread for 2024
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 23 Sep 24 - 08:09 AM

A bloke had just finished a round of golf on his own, and because it had been a hot day he decided to have a shower in the clubhouse before he went home. Unfortunately, he went into the women's changing room by accident and had his shower there without realising. Then, to his horror, he heard three women chatting outside the door of the changing room. It having dawned on him what had happened, he waited and waited - but the ladies weren't going anywhere. He thought to himself, "How am I going to get out of here? All I have is a flimsy little towel and all my clothes are out there in my locker!" After a long wait he decided to just wrap the towel round his head so he couldn't be recognised and make a run for it. So he ran past the three women and and they all looked his naked torso up and down. The first woman said, "Hmm. He definitely isn't my husband..." The second woman said, "Well he doesn't look anything like my husband 'down below' either. Far less well-endowed..." The third woman said, "I can definitely tell you for nothing that he's not even a member of this golf club...."