BS: jOhn frae Hull

Subject: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST,Jock O'Hazeldean
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:18 PM

jOhn frae Hull is a wee bit daft. Tae put it maer bluntly, the man's completely witless and stupid. He cannae spell tae save his ain life. He cannae puit maer than twa words taegither wi'oot mangling the language in ways that cairdle the blood! jOhn frae Hull should be clapped in irons and restricted frae fairther intercourse wi' the guid people o' this forum. The removal o' jOhn frae Hull frae the company o' guid folk is now declaired a Holy Mission! All guid people must join tae expunge this rascal frae our midst!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:36 PM

Wheesht man haud yer tongue, I ma sel' hiv haird oor Sir Joh9n frae Hull ca'ed a Naitional Treasure so a huv. An whit's mair he's a dab haund at makkin' a deid cat curry. Jings crivens help ma boab, sic a braw lad like him, ye're no fit tae lick his tattie howker bitts.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:43 PM

Isn't this just a personal attack?

Where's a moderator to delete this cr@p?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:45 PM

Clinton:

I think it is a humorous broadside disguised as a personal attack, not an actual personal attack.


A

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:52 PM

This is what passes for humour here?

sad...

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:55 PM

Clinton, I think it's just some rather bizzare excersise in a Scot's dialect. I quite like the song Jock O'Hazeldean though...

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 01:59 PM

I obviously didn't 'get' it, and likely don't want to, so feel free to call to have my posts removed...

and on with yer 'fun'

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 02:43 PM

ah, Clinton...there are threads & posts & humor that I don't 'get', myself....so I try not to get involved.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 03:19 PM

Thread drift aside...what "guid people" of this forum have been having intercourse with jOhn? And where? And why wasn't I invited?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 03:20 PM

That was humor too, Clinton. Please don't go threatening a law suit for defamation of character.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 03:43 PM

Clinton, I think it's very sweet of you not getting the joke and we are all proud of you leaping to jOhn's defence. it just shows that there is special relationship between the two countries.

Nobody else will march into Poland with sturdy characters like yourself at hand.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 03:55 PM

Och Clinton lad, ye're nae tae fash yersel ower a wee bit craic,dae ye no mind o' yon Harry Lauder, an' a' his jokes aboot us yins bein' short in the airm an' lang in the pooch. Well us yins hiv hud tae pit up thon reputation fir monys the year, but we tak it a' in guid pairt. Joh9n frae Hull, may hae become Sir Joh9n, but at least be thankfu that it winae a Plastic Sir Joh9n.
Awa yersel.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST,Jock O'Hazeldean
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:04 PM

Och, aye! So that's how it is, "Giok"?! Tae the divil wi' ye, I say! If I wis in range I wid smack ye alongside the haid wi' a good length o' Highland rope, tie it tae yer own tattie howker bitts, and hang ye frae the nearest lampost tae provide sport fae the scavenger birrds! Ye're nowt but a craven guttersnipe whit disnae ken whit he is gaun on aboot!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST,Jock O'Hazeldean
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:09 PM

Albeit, yer Scots dailect is supairb...I'll admit tae that.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Megan L
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:11 PM

Beuy beuy if you twa dinny behave ahl skelp ye sic a luggit ye'll be dining fur a sennight

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:15 PM

Yeah, by God!!! Love that language. You tell 'em, Megan! Where is jO9n? He should be defending his reputation here (such as it is).

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Raedwulf
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 04:48 PM

Amos: Are you sure it's not a personal attack disguised as a humorous broadside, not an actual humorous broadside?

As tae th' rest uv yez: Bugger the Scots! (Attributed to Eddie II before Bannockburn, though nobody's quite sure what exactly he meant...)

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 06:05 PM

SIR JOHN from HULL is a first class geezer...I know cos I met him personally.....anybody who attacks him needs their own head testin'

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 06:17 PM

Wha's the loon fit gangs by the name o' Guest, an fit does he ken aboot psychiatry? If onybuddy needs their heids testin' it's himsel' ah'm thinkin'. I masel' hae a first class geezer, an it rins oan gas, we cry a watter otter, cos it heats wir watter.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: freda underhill
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 08:32 PM

well, jOhn has also attained the heady staus of Snog of the Week - so the femcats here obviously like him!

Jock O'hazeldean, i should introduce you to my good friend nurse ratched. she'd sort you out!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST, Geordie chep
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 10:09 PM

How ... Jockistanis ... dinnet gan howken aboot wi wor langwidge. Taak propa or haad yez gobs. Wuh all knaa yez cannit coup Scots fer Geordie sur cu'baye and desist (canny word that mynd, hinny ;o)

What fettle j0hn?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 07 Aug 04 - 10:14 PM

heloo, waht all this is about?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 03:58 AM

I think it's about you, Sir jOhn. Looks like you've become a People's Hero and Champion Of All That Is Hullish. Bit difficult to tell with all this Pictish vernacular flying around. LOL.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Gurney
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:09 AM

'Ow does it feel t'be a Tall Poppy, jOhn?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:14 AM

Tell us Sir jOhn, oh tell us, do!
Titty :0)

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:27 AM

A tall puppy, waht yoiu on about?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 05:22 AM

john 'giok'Mac Kenzie... Sorry Psychologist not psychiatrist isn't it amazing what class of people we have on mudcat? Not seen your posts before but can tell it wont take long to weigh you up!!!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 02:09 PM

I am still laughing at Clinton taking this serious, it shows how bloody gullible he is.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 03:06 PM

Weel whin ye've hid pairsonal experince o' heid doctors like thon Guest then ye hiv tae boo tae his superior kennin'. I masel hae nae need fur thae gowks as ah'm a weel nalanced cheil. Mind ye, oor Guest mibbe's weell balanced tae, as it appears he may hae a chip oan baith shooders.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Strollin' Johnny
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 04:22 PM

Giok, your grasp and usage of language of supreme clarity and unequalled beauty matches that of The Rt. Hon. Sir jOhn from Hull, MBE, OBE, and I therefore grant and bestow upon you the title 'The Rt. Hon. Sir John 'Giok' MacKenzie, MBE, OBE, Laird o' Invercockileekie'.

I am indeed proud, sir, to be in correspondence with you. Lang may yer lumm reek.

SJ :0)

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST, Geordie chep
Date: 08 Aug 04 - 05:10 PM

A yee taakin aboot me? Did yee spilt mey peint?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 04:05 AM

Weel Johnny ma man, thank ye kindly fur the new label. Mind ye, a cannae see masel gangin' doon oan wan knee fur tae get tappit oan the shooder wi a wee bit swordie. It's no the gettin' doon ye ken, it's mair the gettin' up again, it's ma age ye ken! An' whit if, when a wis doon therr' wi ma heid booed an wan o' Johnnie Cope's clan cam alang? Mebbes they micht grab the sword and gie me a bit dunt oan the neck by way o' revenge fur the dunnin' we gied him at Prestonpans in 1745.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Aug 04 - 12:28 PM

LOL! Giok, you are the very master of Scottish jargon. Marvelous! I read your stuff out loud in a Scottish accent here and crack up every time!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 12:38 AM

I think you are wise to avoid kneeling in the presence of a sword, Giok. Old hatreds die slowly in the Highlands, I hear. Have you considered translating certain famous speeches into Scots dialect?

How about the Gettysburg Address, for example?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 03:58 AM

Ooooh, Little Hawk - you may jest, but Tha Boord o Ulster-Scotch are one step ahead of you, and they are for real - nae messin'.
(They all talk like that down our way - I never knew I was bilingual.)

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 04:58 AM

Ochone Ochone Dr Phibes. Yer bluidy link disnae work, hoo the hell can a lerrn mair culture, if ye cannae pit yer links in richt? Whit's mair hen ah've heard o' bi-sexual, but whit's bi-lingual? Is it like hivvin' twa tongues? Soonds the same thing tae me.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Fibula Mattock
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 06:00 AM

hould yer whist, Giok! Thon link works grand fer me.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Aug 04 - 07:41 AM

Richt enoo it wirks noo mo chride, mebbes it wis this pair auld loons computer thinggy.
Ma Mammy said 'haud yer wheesht' an' a didnae.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 12:07 PM

Marvelous! Mair! Gi'e us Mair!

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: s6k
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 07:05 PM

j0hn from hull is the best thing to happen to mudcat since it was invented.

he is really nice9

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 07:12 PM

Lang mae his lum reek

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 07:14 PM

Och aye! Still, the 9laddy's a wee bit daft. He cannae puit twa werds taegither wi'oot mangling aw the sense of whit he wis trying tae say in the fairst place. Ah dinnae ken whit micht be the matter wi' jOhn aside frae the fact that the man's nae richt in the heid.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 07:17 PM

Ah haf tae sae that he be richt in the haid so he be....I hae seen the laddie and ken his pairson.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Aug 04 - 09:52 PM

Weel then, jOhn frae Hull shuid try tae type wi' a wee bit mair attention tae whit he is typing or haud his wheesht. Havin' twa tongues wuid be richt handy in sairtin saircumstances ye ken! In jOhn's case thoo, Ah'm thinkin' 'twould be of nae avail whitseaever.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST,Crazy Little Woman
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:19 AM

How do y'all do this? Is there a web site which converts English to Hullish when you click on certain button?

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 10:31 AM

Noo...the way Ah did it wis tae obsairve the ramblings of a grrreat former member of Mudcat wha wis named Little John Cameron. He sadly passed awa' and is grrreatly missed. Ah lernt awe ma Scottish dialect frae imitatin' Little John.

It's noo Hullish dialect, it's Scots, thoo there micht be people in Hull wha use it Ah suppose...

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 18 Aug 04 - 11:50 AM

John 'Frogman' Prescott perhaps?
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: freda underhill
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 06:31 PM

In CONFIDENCE

while in London, I was initiated into the Sir John from Hull fanclub. it is a secret society, with a secret handshake and passwords. it is not known how many members there are, because the club is so secret that they never gather in the same room at one time. however i was initiated into the lowest level of the club and am allowed to read his website, which is one of the funniest things you will ever see, if youre lucky enough.

a number of female catters that I met during this secret initiation confided in me their deep admiration for Sir John.

ps this is a secret - don't tell anyone!

freda

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: SINSULL
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 07:58 PM

website??????? Do tell.

Subject: RE: BS: jOhn frae Hull
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Aug 04 - 08:12 PM

There was a link to it on here somewhere. No help I know!