Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.

Subject: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:30 PM

Bert is obviously suffering from CRS--Can't Remember Shit!!! Very sever case....any ideas or cures? Perhaps a 2x4?

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:41 PM

More sticky notes! More sticky notes!

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:41 PM

However, he did seem to remember the beer....But Bert...Beer kills brain cells man and uh........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:45 PM

Actually beer doesn't kill brain cells,Spaw, just makes em migrate to other parts of the body, like the butt,gut,etc. Ever heard the term "drunken smart-ass"? Now ya know burp

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:48 PM

If the chat worked, we could help him out. We could also let them know their mikes were still hot when they were playing CDs.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:49 PM

Sticky notes? Do you mean 3Ms windows?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:49 PM

Yeah...you got a point Leej, but I think your post it note scheme won't work for Bert. When the migrating brain deels reach his bladder, the pressure will confuse him and a post it on his Willie would only plug him up til his teeth turned yellow.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:51 PM

No Bert...TRY TO REMEMBER ...........MICROSOFT MAKES WINDOWS!!!!!!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:52 PM

Post-it notes won't stick to extremely soft surfaces anyway, Spaw, so I think Bert would have a tough time sticking one on his unit.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:57 PM

Oh, I guess you didn't get that one. Haven't you seen people who have them stuck on their monitors? 'Cos they don't have enough Microsoft windows.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 07:58 PM

Another good point....but do you think he can remember where his "unit" IS??? OR what possible uses it may have for that matter.........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:02 PM

Wotchit Moosh! Or I'll show you what I can do with it.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:04 PM

Now you've done it Spaw. I knew you'd get him riled

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:05 PM

Is it possible that you just forgot which switch to flick? 'Cause I just lost the show!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:08 PM

Just jokin, Bert. I'm sure the mule's still kickin in the stall. Did you see the new Mudcatterbury verse I did btw?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:13 PM

Yes, I just showed it to Max. Great.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:14 PM

You lost the show 'cos you were screwing around and not LISTENING to it

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:16 PM

So where'd the show go???

I dunno Bert....I should have expected something like this from a guy who carved his Jack-O-Lantern from a turnip.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:17 PM

You know, I just KNEW it was something I did wrong...

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:20 PM

wotsa "moosh?"

Bert, we love you - and Max too. Rough day, rough night, rough week. Hugs for both of you.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:22 PM

That's it Leej....Stand up and take it like a man...or a woman.........just not like Bert, who seems not to have noticed he's talking to the ether.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:22 PM

Actually,Spaw, that takes an unbelieveable amount of dexterity. Not to mention a really tiny candle

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:25 PM

Moosh, often spelled mush is an English expression that was popular just after WWII. It is used to mean person, face or mouth. I think it's origin is French.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:25 PM

The turnip jack-o-lantern, I mean

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:26 PM

Yes it does Leej...but agin that was the problem. Bert worked for days on that thing and it was looking REAL good til Halloween night when he stuck that surplus NA-221 Flamethrower up the turnip's ass.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:26 PM

Thanks for the hugs Jeri

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:33 PM

Anytime, Bert. I saw Spaw and LEJ were trying their absolute best to try to cheer you up, and I was frightened.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:34 PM

Well, this has been fun......almost 30 messages in an hour. My thanks to Leej, Bert and Jeri for making this incredible bullshit possible.

Spaw, the Moosh.....Hey, Who loves ya' Bert?
(Certainly not me, but I am curious)

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:35 PM

Actually they were doing quite well. Max was wondering why I was laughing about this disaster.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: MMario
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:37 PM

turnips can get quite large, at least the feedstock types.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:39 PM

Aar! you meam Mangel Wurzels!

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 08:59 PM

wotsa Mangel Wurzel? (You don't really have to answer - it's got to be a really big turnip, doesn't it? But I'm curious about whether a Wurzel really is a turnip. Or maybe I'm not getting it at all, which is a distinct possibility.)

Oh, and I feel really great now. Trying to be all sensitive and sweet and you're actually enjoying the other approach. Well - humphhhh!

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 09:47 PM

Glad you clear that up, LeeJ, I though you meant standing up and takingit like a man took a lot of dexterity and a really tiny candle. Only thing is, I couldn't figure out what the candle was for, until I read the "take it like a man" over again. Wouldn'tcha have to bend over and crack a smile for that, though? Zing!

You guys quitcher picking on Bertie, all he needs is a Wooster! Or Jeeves, that is! Love nad hugs, Bert & Max.

luvyaKat

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 10 Nov 99 - 09:57 PM

Gawd, I can't believe I spent five minutes reading all thirty-three of these messages: I don't know about a tiny candle but there are lots of dim bulbs around.

--seed

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 06:38 AM

Ah, but "collectively" we could outshine a dying firefly in a Mason jar dontcha' think? Well, maybe...sorta'......I dunno..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 09:42 AM

A mangel wurzel (often simply called a mangel) is a root crop in the beet family used mainly for feeding livestock. It looks like a large fat orangy colored beet, about 8 inches or more diameter. Not used much nowadays. Used to be used for Jack O'Lanterns years ago.
It was also used for the head of the storybook scarecrow Wurzel Gummage. Jon Pertwee (The third Dr. Who)played the part of Wurzel Gummage of an English childrens TV series in the fifties.

I enjoyed the hugs and needed the laughs as well.

Thanks,
Bert.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Charlie Baum
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 10:17 AM

"muzh" is Russian for "man"; is that the origin of "moosh"?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 10:24 AM

Could be.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Margo
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 10:27 AM

Phonetically, Moosh in French is a fly. (Mouche) Hmmmm... the inference: a bug eyed creep?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 10:51 AM

HEY!!!!!.....A bug eyed creep? Well thanks one whole helluva lot Margo!!!!! I hope your shanty falls in at your next sing!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Bert
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 10:57 AM

A lot of slang from that era came from the army. It could be from the Arabic 'Mus' meaning rat.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 02:26 PM

Actually,Kat,standing up and giving it like a man takes loads of dexterity, irregardless of the size of your candle.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 04:44 PM

Leej, is "irregardless" supposed to be the opposite of "regardless" or its synonym? Jeez. And I thought you were at least a 25 watt bulb, unlike Catspaw, who's kind of an LED nightlight.

--seed

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 05:23 PM

OK Seed, sue me for assassinating the English Language, fer Chrissakes! I couldn't help but notice that just about the time I eased up on Bert, everybody decided to give me a raft of horseshite!( Now I'm going to go back and glean all Seed's old postings for grammatical, syntactical and spelling errors)

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 08:00 PM

Is that Lovely, Egalitarian, Dude? I mean I am, but I didn't know that's how you felt.....Thanks for your thoughts and cares. I know you understand.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: sophocleese
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 08:20 PM

Picture yourself near a stream.

No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called the world.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.The water is clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person whose head you are holding under the water.

There now. Feel better?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 08:27 PM

You are a sick ticket, Sophocleese. I admire that in a woman.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: sophocleese
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 08:29 PM

OOps sorry meant to put that in the Totally Awesome etc. thread.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 08:40 PM

Spaw...I think he meant Loud,Egotistical,Dumbass.

LEJ (25 watts and firing on all filaments)

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 09:00 PM

Well that was my second option too Leej....but I think we'll have to wait for Seed for the definitive answer. There's an outside shot it may be Lame,Eccentric,Doofus. It might also be "Leej Escapes Drowning".......just a thought.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 Nov 99 - 09:30 PM

or maybe Large Edwardian Dingleberry

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: sophocleese
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 12:11 AM

Little elfin din...gleberry?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Áine
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 12:27 AM

Well, y'all know we don't have dingleberries down here in Texas -- but we do have a tufted titmouse sitting in a farkleberry bush . . .

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 12:45 AM

Laughing Edsel Driver?

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: bseed(charleskratz)
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 03:48 AM

Limp Elderly Dork?

Naah, I was givin' you credit for at least a little glow, Patsclaw. But maybe TTSIAFB fits. Which reminds me: In what was is toilet paper like the Starship Enterprise?

--seed

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Banjer
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 04:32 AM

Cheer up 'Spaw, at least an LED nightlight is one step above a solar powered flashlight.

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 01:19 PM

Well at least there is a selection.

"OK Seed".....said Spaw, playing the straight man for a change, "In what way IS toilet paper like the Starship Enterprise?"

.......I can hardly wait for this one..............................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: MMario
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 01:25 PM

I keep meaning to post something to this thread, but I forget...

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Den
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 01:36 PM

They both wipe out clingons. Den

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 02:11 PM

around Uranus

Subject: RE: Help: BERT SUFFERING FROM C.R.S.
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Nov 99 - 02:34 PM

I once bought stock in the Uranus Corporation. Turned out to be a real shitty deal. I thought I could clean up but the product wasn't nothin' but a piece of crap.

Spaw