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BS: the real john kerry...
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Subject: BS: the real john kerry... From: red_clay Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:06 PM R Three surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best surgeon in Massachusetts. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident. I reattached them and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England!" The next one said, "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a fellow who was high on pot and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a large nose. Now John Kerry is running for president of the United States." |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Jack the Sailor Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:10 PM Why don't you just delete this please folks? Didn't this man already start a recycle tired old jokes to Kerry thread? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Bobert Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:11 PM Sorry, I read the "pot and alcohol" part and all I could think of was Bush. B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Ebbie Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:25 PM I was trying to get my head around that too, Bobert. I thought, Bush ran head on into the train and what was left was Kerry?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Alba Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:38 PM ROFL Ebbie....... Blessing Jude |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:41 PM Censor a thread because it has a Kerry joke in it? God, you Anybody But Bushies need some serious R & R. Or a humor transplant. And possibly a laugh track to your pathetic little lives. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:47 PM Now see what I mean? In another thread you indicated that you were tired of the attacks and nastiness. You seemed to indicate that you wanted it to end. Then you come here and tell Kerry folks that they have "pathetic little lives". Just what I was talking about when I said that you need to see someone about your martyr complex. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:51 PM Ah. Return of the Stalker King. Thy kindness freezes. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Amos Date: 27 Oct 04 - 08:55 PM Red Clay: DOes the word "puerile" mean anything to you? No? How about the word "jejeune"? No, again? Hmmm...How about "callow", does that ring a bell? Still no? Oh dear, let's see...ingenuous? naif? Or green, guileless, inexperienced, infant, jejune, jellybean, juvenile, kid, low tech, naive, puerile, raw, sophomore, unbaked, unfledged, unripe, unsophisticated, untrained, untried, young? How about dumb, half-baked, uncivil, low-brow, crude, low-class, ill-formed, uneducated? Any of those sound familiar? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 27 Oct 04 - 09:03 PM So, shift the issue. Typical tactic. Answer the question. How is it that you make a commitment on one thread and break it on another? What does that say about you? And how is it stalking when it is your posts, put out there by you for all to see, that I am responding too? Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Joe Offer Date: 27 Oct 04 - 09:04 PM I think there's some sort of psychological inadequacy in people who compulsively start threads. They don't have what it takes to join in ongoing discussions in a constructive manner, so they sometimes start several new threads a day. If you look at their kindergarten report cards, expect to see a check mark at "does not play well with others." The general practice around here is to start new threads only when you have something new to say or ask on a new subject. Otherwise, post to existing threads. I know an election is coming up, but the number of Bush/Kerry threads is ridiculous. So is the number of copycat threads, like the "arrogant asshole" series. -Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:36 AM Does this mean we can't have joke threads about the candidates because the Democrats for Kerry don't have a sense of humor? Or just that the Democrats for Kerry clones like Big Mick and Joe Offer are going to censor Kerry jokes? Because I have plenty of Bush jokes I can tell. I'm guessing you clones are just going to harrass and censor Republicans and Nader supporters, am I right about that? That is what you are doing in this thread, of course. At least, that would be consistent with the way you've been running things around here lately. You make your censorship decisions and decide who you will harrass based upon your political allegiances to the Democrats. That much is clear.
-Joe Offer- |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: jacqui.c Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:40 AM The problem with these political jokes is, they are all so f*****g OLD! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:48 AM Well, yeah but they still can give you a chuckle. Last night, Conan was a rerun, but he did this hysterically funny "here is my John Kerry face". It was stupid, but it was visuslly very funny. If we can't laugh at politicians, what in god's name is the point of living? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Ellenpoly Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:54 AM Maggiethecat started this thread back in August...maybe it's just time to consolidate them..xx..e Political Jokes Thread |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:57 AM Well I suppose that this GUEST might be the same one as the one who keeps on popping up here and there claiming to be against Kerry, for right-on, as opposed to "Right" reasons. But then again, it might be someone entirely different, though depressingly similar. Taking it to be the former, it strikes me as strange to wish to carry on protracted arguments in such a way as to make it impossible for the people you are arguing with to know it's the same person from moment to moment. ........................... Yes, it does seem a bit silly to start up a new thread like this, rather than posting to one of the existing threads on the same lines. Even if it had been a remotely funny joke. If it had even been about Kerry's chin... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: jacqui.c Date: 28 Oct 04 - 10:59 AM That complaint about the age of the jokes was mine (Kendall) not Jacquis. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:03 AM I thought the joke WAS funny. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:16 AM Pat Buchanan, Newt Gingrich, & George W. Bush are in a boat in the middle of the ocean. The boat is sinking. Who gets saved? The American People! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:17 AM What were George W. Bush's three hardest years in school? A: Second grade. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:18 AM But you still haven't answered the question. What is it that motivates you on one thread to say that you want to end the nastiness, then on another thread be nasty? And this after you committed not to. This is relevant because I don't believe you really care about any political cause. I believe you have a compulsive need to be disruptive, so you can have attention. If I am wrong, please say so. But do so while answering the question. Seems to me that you only want to end the nastiness when someone challenges you. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:24 AM Bush Unveils New, Compassionate Foreign Policy Will provide funds for grief counseling, sensitivity training after all future invasions. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:25 AM KERRY GOES GOOSE-HUNTING IN CRUCIAL SWING STATE OHIO "Bagged some nice foie gras," he tells reporters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Chris Green Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:26 AM GUEST - don't give up the day job, mate.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Once Famous Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:27 AM John Kerry is going as Herman Munster for Halloween. He lost the mask and just said "Oh well. No one will be able to tell." Isn't much of the nastiness is what keeps people entertained here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:28 AM You're right there duellingbouzoukis. The best humor is always real life. Which is why I laughed my ass off when I heard some guy in Florida tried to run down Katherine Harris with his car yesterday. Best laugh I've had in months, and I spit my wine all over the TV, while dining to the network news! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Chris Green Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:30 AM Personally speaking, no. An informed discussion - even if it's a heated one - is enjoyable and thought-provoking. Puerile mudslinging isn't. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 11:39 AM Here is where I go, when stupid Kerry "liberals" and their Nader bashing gets me down (this one's for you Bobert): CENSOR THIS BOYS! http://www.moveonplease.org/ We wouldn't censor this because you appropriately linked instead of cutting and pasting. Thanks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Don Firth Date: 28 Oct 04 - 12:16 PM "Does this mean we can't have joke threads about the candidates because the Democrats for Kerry don't have a sense of humor?" No, GUEST, the problem is that your joke is so goddam old. Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Joe Offer Date: 28 Oct 04 - 12:16 PM I always kinda liked Herman Munster.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Don Firth Date: 28 Oct 04 - 12:19 PM Actually, I guess it was the joke that red_clay posted. "One Neanderthal says to another Neanderthal. . . ." Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 04 - 12:23 PM Everything Bad Fault Of Rumsfeld Scientists have found Secretary of Defense, Donald Rumsfeld, genetically culpable for every contrary event and effect in modern history, including morbid obesity, the Philadelphia Phillies' 23 game losing streak in 1959 and Carrot Top. Studies revealed even more daunting scenarios as the Rumsfeld-effect not only results from direct contact, but that second-hand liason with the Secretary of Evil can cause severe conservative conjunctivitis. Los Angeles restaurants and bars have recently banned Rumsfeld, and any talk of Rumsfeld, except for restricted outdoor areas. (From GUEST link above) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST,Frank Date: 28 Oct 04 - 02:07 PM Aside from the joke being not funny, the joke really should finish like this: "The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a fellow who was high on pot and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a large nose. Now George W. Bush is running the United States into the ground." And that's not even funny. Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 02:50 PM I note I haven't been admonished by the Kerry Democrats for the REAL LIFE threat to put Republican Katherine Harris' face on the front of Dodge. Apparently black humor is only tasteless when applied to THEIR SIDE. No hypocrisy there. And you all wonder why Democrats can't win elections, and have been booted out of their century long choke hold on political power. Well, maybe one big reason is you fellas are all a bunch of hypocrits. Glad you liked the joke about Rummie there, Amos. We do aim to please by being equal opportunity black humorists. So sorry that some of us dark, ironic types offend the dainty sensibilities of you Dems. NOT! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST,Frank Date: 28 Oct 04 - 02:52 PM The real John Kerry is a man of integrity. He has been consistent (not a flip-flopper) with his position on Iraq. He has maintained consistently that he supported the authorization (and this is crucial to understanding him) as long as the UN inspections continued and were in place. Bush tricked him. The real John Kerry can be counted on to be honest with the American public. His role as a senator involved the investigations of the BCCI bank in the Iran Contra scandal, and behind the scenes working for passages of bills that he believed in. Often senators don't get credit unless their name is on the bill. Bush's contention that Kerry didn't do anything significant as a senator is a lie. Bush also must be judged in his limited political experience as an inept governor of Texas where he fudged the test scores of the school system to make it seem as though it were a "Texas Miracle". Texas Fraud is more like it. For Bush to say Kerry was ineffective in the Senate is ludicrous. Frank |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Chris Green Date: 28 Oct 04 - 02:59 PM Thank you, GUEST, for proving my point. You won't be seeing me on this thread again - I work with kids all day and have no desire to continue to do so in my leisure time. BYEEE!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 03:15 PM Stuff a sock in it Frank. duellingbouzoukis, I just want to scare you further, and let you know I work with kids all day too--high school kids. They at least keep me honest, which is more than I can say about your phony indignation. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Once Famous Date: 28 Oct 04 - 03:24 PM Frank, of course you know Kerry oh so personally, have had long talks with him into the night, and he has poured out his sole to you in fact just yesterday over dinner. right? Sorry sir, I can't believe a man of your age can be so naieve to make such statements. Guest, I do so wish you would post under your usual posting name, or get one and I might be able to get behind you. I have my own philosophy here about what is phony. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Amos Date: 28 Oct 04 - 03:48 PM Here you go, Martin -- an introduction to the actual fellow. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 28 Oct 04 - 03:50 PM So.... Martin ..... Frank gives you specific cites for the position he is taking and the best you can do is demean him. Makes you sound like an intellectual lightweight. But then again, that seems to be your modus, which is to belittle folks instead of debating the point. There is one candidate being honest in this election and its not the avowed compassionate conservative. I do, however, agree with you on the GUEST. And I do respect that what one sees is what one gets with you. You are not a phoney. You absolutely call it as you see it. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST,petr Date: 28 Oct 04 - 04:07 PM whats the difference between Vietnam and Iraq? GeorgeW Bush had an exit strategy for Vietnam. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 04:26 PM Uh, this is a joke thread, not a debate thread, so why all the phony righteous indignation anyway? Oh right, I forgot. Kerry's Anybody But Bushies have been instructed to censor all humor where Kerry is the butt of the joke, until at least November 3rd. Or until they get back into power, and can start rounding up the Republicans and Naderites who so greatly piss them off, and putting them with the interned Muslims being held incommunicado by the Bushies. You Dems sure are giving the neo-cons a real run for the money this year with your censorship and intimidation tactics. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 28 Oct 04 - 04:30 PM See, there you go again. You try and blame others for what you do. Because you are Irish, you will understand, in fact you exemplify, the definition of Irish Alzheimer's. You forget everything but the grudges. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 04:51 PM BUZZZZZZZZZ!!!!! Stalker King gets it wrong. Not Irish. Best get in touch with your higher druid bad bard himself there, Mickey boyo. Your psychic internet stalker skills seem to be slipping. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:00 PM I'm actually a West Texas WASP workin' undercover here for the White House, yer Irish Bardness Stalker King Clone, SIR. Wouldn't want to piss off the BIG MICK!!! He might blow my cover, or expose me IP pee pee. Or is it your wee pee pee you wish to expose, Mr. Stalker King sir? |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Once Famous Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:07 PM Big Mick frank talked he knew the guy and what was going on in his head. Frank's post was a great piece of heresay speculation and I would think that you might be smart enough to realize that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Big Mick Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:14 PM Yeah, but GUEST, you still haven't answered the question. It was you that wanted to get rid of nastiness. And it was you that then restarted the nastiness on another thread. And when called on it and asked why, you resort to this. It seems that your only response when called to task on your lies is to resort to crude humor. Martin, I just went back and re-read the post of 2:52 PM. I don't see him doing that. I see him giving his opinion, supported by cites. I would think, in fact I know, you are smart enough to see that. I don't understand your need to be patronizing and sarcastic. Mick |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:18 PM Naw, Martin Gibson, these folks volunteered for the Lobotomies for Kerry program. If what you are mutterin' around here ain't pro-Kerry propagnada, the Mudcat clones are now programmed to censor your posts, or in cases like this, send the Kerry Swarm after you for having the audacity to start a thread with a Kerry joke. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: Once Famous Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:31 PM Quite true, Guest. If Bush wins, there should be enough sour grapes here that a barrel of sugar can't help. In a way, I hope that it happens if only for that reason to bind the undies of those you mention. |
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Subject: RE: BS: the real john kerry... From: GUEST Date: 28 Oct 04 - 05:47 PM Yeah, but you shouldn't trust me, Martin. I'm a Naderite. The only thing I can be trusted to do is vote based upon my principles and conscience. That's A Bad Thing, you know. At least, it is according to the Lobotomies for Kerry camp. |
