ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott

Subject: Lyr Add: PRECIOUS GIFT (THE TONY ABBOTT SONG)
From: freda underhill
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 01:03 AM

In Australia we have an irrepressibly conservative politician named Tony Abbott who recently gave advice to his daughters that their virginity is the most precious gift they could give to a man.

A Sydney folksinger, Cathy Rytmeister, performed this song she wrote about Tony the other night at the James Craig Shanty session. It has become an instant hit, and is here recorded for posterity (or for posteriors, post-hysteria but definitely not posthumously).

The tune is Eric Bogle's And the Band Played Waltzing Matilda
The Tony Abbott Song

^^
PRECIOUS GIFT (The Tony Abbott Song)
(Cathy Rytmeister February 2010)

When I was a young girl, pure and whole
I lived the clean life of a virgin
I had no idea that my precious gift
Was important to some politicians.
So when I turned 18 and the boy up the road
Said hey, how about it? I didn't say "no".
But dear Tony Abbott, if only I'd known
I'd have waited at least one more fortnight.

For I was now bereft of true value
By choosing a life full of sin
My precious gift gone, just a memory in song
All I've left is the box it came in.

And well I remember relief on those days
That my blood stained the sheets and the blankets
I took many risks but was mostly OK
I look back and for that I'm most thankful.
But I wonder, if only I'd kept meself nice,
Wore lippy and heels and played sugar and spice –
I'd have landed a man who'd have treated me right –
Someone just like that hypocrite Tony.

For I was now bereft of true value
By choosing a life full of sin
My precious gift gone, just a memory in song
All I've left is the box it came in.

I grew older and wiser and carried a pack-
et of three, just in case I got lucky
And I did pretty well, despite no advice
From Abbott or Andrews or Tuckey.
Johnny Turk he was ready, he'd primed himself well,
But that wasn't enough, I had Tommy as well
And Paddy, and Jock, and Pierre and Manuel
I had a right multicultural party.

With my precious gift thoroughly squandered
I still somehow managed with men
I swore and I drank and I danced and I skanked
While the band played Wild Rover Again.

Now I've settled down, with a rather good bloke,
Who with second-hand gifts seems delighted.
And I've a daughter myself, of that age when you might
Give advice, about life to enlighten.
I've told her to give what she wishes and when
To respect herself and be respected by men
And above all before she is settled and wed
To make sure she gets plenty of practice.

For a woman is more than a hymen
She has much more to offer the world
And if Abbott can't see all that we wish to be
He can keep his advice to himself.

For I've filled my life with true value
By choosing to live it in sin
My precious gift gone, just a memory in song
But I've still got the box it came in!

Cathy Rytmeister February 2010

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Micca
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 04:40 AM

LOL! Freda, A truly delightful parody

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 07:06 AM

how sad Tony only had daughters - I'd just loooove to hear his advice to his son/s!

sandra

ps. Google ads below for cutting down size of your belly! & learning Wedding dance for those with 2 left feet. What are they implying?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 04:46 PM

More verses needed - he's now telling ladies ho to iron - which has sparked off debate about which pollies help around the house.... :-)

At least Kevin Rudd seemed to know the price of a loaf of bread the other day ...

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: GUEST,Cathy Rytmeister
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 08:10 PM

It's had a change of name to "Precious Gift", on the suggestion of Margaret Walters.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Joe Offer
Date: 13 Feb 10 - 10:20 PM

Thanks, Cathy - I've added the new name to the first post.
-Joe Offer, Forum Moderator-

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Rowan
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 03:52 PM

how sad Tony only had daughters - I'd just loooove to hear his advice to his son/s!

Especially since, a couple of years ago, he thought one of the camera crew that attended his press conferences was a son by a temporary (and premarital) liaison.

Good song; I'll bring it to the attention of my daughters, the elder of whom is of an age to think of such futures. I was reminding myself yesterday of Bob Hudson's song "Girls in our town"; how times have changed.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Tangledwood
Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:59 PM

What a great parody! Thanks for passing it on Freda.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Rowan
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 07:33 PM

To indicate the source of the song, here is the text of a report in the Herald Sun, the tabloid Sunday version of the Sydney Morning Herald.

Women's virginity 'a precious gift', says Tony Abbott

By Phillip Hudson January 26, 2010 10:06AM

Abbott says couples shouldn't be tempted by pre-marital sex
Says if they can't wait, at least use contraception
Faces claims women do not like him
TONY Abbott believes women should regard their virginity as "a gift" that should not be given away lightly.

The Opposition Leader says men and women tempted by sex before marriage should try to abide by "the rules" but at least use contraception if they can't wait, The Herald Sun reported.

Since winning the Liberal leadership in December, Mr Abbott has faced claims that women voters do not like him. But there is no polling to prove this is the case.

In an interview in this month's Australian Women's Weekly, Mr Abbott is quizzed about a range of women's issues.

Asked whether he expects his own daughters to remain virgins until they are married, Mr Abbott says all women should regard their virginity as a gift that should not be given lightly.

Mr Abbott is the father of three daughters - Louise, 21, Frances, 18, and Bridget, 16.

He has previously spoken about being surrounded by strong women and said his decision to support a strong paid maternity leave scheme had been influenced by the women in his life.

Mr Abbott, a former Catholic seminarian, has previously spoken about his own temptation by sex before marriage, how he took risks playing "Vatican roulette" (the rhythm method of birth control) and believed for 25 years he had fathered a son with his university girlfriend.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: JennieG
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 02:04 AM

This song was sung on the last night of the Ozzie National festival, in the singing room.....those of us who hadn't heard it (and probably also those who had) joined in singing the last line with great gusto!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: the Tony Abbott song
From: Rowan
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 02:07 AM

B***er!!! Missed it! And I was there for a while.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: GUEST,Cathy Rytmeister
Date: 21 Jan 13 - 07:43 AM

I've changed the last line of the firt verse to "I'd have waited at least until Christmas". Enjoy!!! For some reason (probably the little b****** still leading the Opposition here in Australia, with an election coming up) I'm still getting requests to sing it and to send the words to people!

Cheers

Cathy

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 21 Jan 13 - 08:15 AM

& she sang it beautifully in the Parody Concert at the Illawarra Folk Festival on the weekend to great acclaim & laughter.

sandra (who recommended her for a spot in the Parody concert!)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: JennieG
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 12:51 AM

This song is now needed more than ever, to judge by the creepy photos of Mr Rabbit and his daughters during their electioneering....his wife in black, and all the gels in virginal white.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Sep 13 - 11:11 AM

& he's now our Prime Minister

as a friend said recently 'After Saturday we may need to sing even louder!'

And he & the Trade Unon Choir will be singing - very loudly - at my folk club in a few weeks

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 01:21 AM

Sandra (and other Ozzie Catters) - please spare a thought for Himself and Myself, as our newly elected member is Barnaby.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 02:08 AM

good luck!

why not pop down to the Big Smoke for the concert?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Sep 13 - 05:58 PM

Oh dear, Sandra.....can't make it, I'm afraid! But I'll be with you in spirit, if that helps.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: GUEST,Gerry
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 02:14 AM

We need an update of I Can't Abide (the Government's Front Bench). Cathy?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 03:06 AM

have you contacted her?

a few cartoons that took my eye over the past few days

Federated Union of Cartoonists, Comedians, Satirists (FUCCS)
Prophet with tablets of stone
Sydney Morning Herald & associated papers - political cartoons
Winner's Flag

Subject: Lyr Add:: I CAN'T ABIDE (parody - John Dengate)
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:01 PM

G'day Gerry,

Well, here's the shell of the late-lamented John Dengate's 1998 epic. (Lifted off the Union Songs Site.)

I CAN'T ABIDE
A song by John Dengate ©John Dengate 1998
Tune: Abide With Me

I can't abide the government's front bench,
Send them away to the Germans or the French.
I can't abide Costello's shallow sneer -
Won't someone make the bastard disappear?

I can't abide that bloody awful Kemp,
Bring back the gallows, the hangman and the hemp.
Take Peter Reith and dump him in the tide.
Him I particularly can't abide!

Poor little John deserves our sympathy,
Born neath the star of mediocrity ...
Pat his wee head and send him off to bed,
Then hide the key lest he abide with me!

I can't abide the government's ministry,
Senator Vanstone's worse than dysentry!
Send her away without the least delay
- dont pour the tea lest she abide with me.

Sink them the swine, an iceberg would be fine.
Far, far away in distant Hudson Bay.
As they go down they'll warble while they drown,
Flat and off-key, they'll be despised by me.

I can't abide the government's front bench,
Send them away to the Germans or the French.
Take Peter Reith and dump him in the tide.
Him I particularly can't abide.

I'm afraid we are going to have to gird our loins ... and get stuck into this nozious lot ... jaut as John would have done!!!!

Regard(les)s,

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:06 PM

Err .. G'day again,

... But we should try to spell better: ... juSt a little less noXiously ... - and not lose one's 'Cookie" while trying to correct the posting!!!

More Regardfully ...

Bob Bolton

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Bob Bolton
Date: 10 Sep 13 - 10:27 PM

Err.. G'day again,

Well I seem to have dragged my ID out of whatever ate it.

I'm sure it wasn't our new (chronologically ...) but vastly older politically - National Government - if only because I don't think most of them have mentally come to terms with the 21st century ... and "radical concepts" such as democracy - let alone world wide webs.

Their upper house probably probably thinks those must be evil conspiracies to introduce awkward philosophies like "democracy"!

Have fun with a public forum ... before they notice such things!

Regards,

BobB

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 01:52 AM

On the weekend Cathy's song won the inaugural John & Dale Dengate Mug for Parody competition at the Illawarra Folk Festival. The competition is being held in memory of the late, great John Dengate. Dale donated John's pewter mug as the trophy & it looks very handsome on a wooden block.

When she said she was entering, I knew she would win.

Not only is it a great song, but John loved it!

sandra

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Andrez
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 06:13 AM

Hockey, Pyne, Morrison and then some of the state leaders, Newman and Napthine come immediately to mind, all need to be shown for what they truly are songs of their own as well. Maybe we need a national songwriting comp?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Andrez
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 06:20 AM

Not sure what happened above. This is what I actually posted.

Hockey, Pyne, Morrison and then some of the state leaders, Newman and Napthine come immediately to mind (none of whom I can abide} all need to be 'immortalised' with songs of their own as well. Maybe we need a national songwriting comp?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 Jan 14 - 08:46 AM

excellent idea, Andrez

I'll ponder upon it.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Andrez
Date: 25 Jan 14 - 06:15 AM

Looking forward to the results of your 'ponderings' Sandra. Are there any other lyric or poetic contributions from other OzCatters?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Andrez
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 08:39 AM

Hi out there to all Oz Ozcatters! Just wondering if we've seen and heard enough already of Tony, Joe, Chris and Scott among others in that motley crew (allegedly claiming to be our government) to rev up our songwriting and/or poetic skills and give these buggers and their mates the serve they deserve?

Maybe we could have some state based entries and comps and then the best of these from each state to be performed and judged by popular acclaim at the next National in Canberra with a best of CD to be sold after that

Cheers,

Andrez

PS: Sorry Sandra, me billy woz boilin' dry an I could'nt wait any longer fer t' resolution o' yer 'ponderin' ter sweeten me cuppa :-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: Precious Gift (The Tony Abbott Song)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Jun 14 - 07:16 PM

oops, I forgot

NFF applications are open - why not apply for such a session?

Illawarra FF applications closed recently but the Dale & John Dengate Parody competition will be in it's second year. Earlier this year Dale found the presentation box that originally contained the cup so I took a pic of her presenting it to Cathy.

John Warner has written a song - A plague on Tony Abbott. I'm looking at a print of it which is too much to retype so I've just sent off for a copy to post later.

My cartoon collection has grown in leaps & bounds in the time since the elections - I now have 117 Abbott cartoons, excluding any I cut out of a paper which does not have an on-line presence. Unfortunately I don't have any from Mark Knight in the Herald-Sun as it has a pay wall. So does the Sydney Morning Herald but it allows non-subscribers a daily peek at their political cartoons page & they have 14 cartoonists in their stable!

sandra (very forgetful & apologetic)

Subject: ADD John Warner's Curse (A Plague on Tony Abbott)
From: Andrez
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 03:46 AM

Googled the title and I got……..

John Warner's Curse.

A plague on Tony Abbott, may his budget bite him back,
May the millions lay their curse upon his merciless attack.
May he lose the next election, see his party in defeat,
May they sack him from the party and redistribute his seat.
May no corporation trust him when he begs to be deployed,
May he taste the bitter poison of being unemployed.
May he use up all his savings and sell his assets too,
May he stand humiliated in the dole office queue.
May he wait six months for benefits and live upon the dole,
May he know the bitter choices that sap the human soul.
May he get some deadly cancer that slowly spreads its pain,
With specialists too costly and drugs he can't obtain,
May he choose between his medicines and his family's evening meal,
May he turn into a man of lead and lose the man of steel.
May palliative care be cut by budgetary need,
May the help that he requires be frustrated by greed,
May there be no Doctor Death beside to heed his anguished cries,
And may he recall this budget in the hours before he dies.
And think about the victims of the health cuts and the dole,
I wonder if his god will have much mercy on his soul.
Having said that of a leader who's proclivities appall,
I'm forced to wonder whether Abbott has a soul at all.

Any more takers out there folks?

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: ADD: Tony Abbott's Ukulele (John Warner)
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 09:18 PM

John Warner must really dislike Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott. Here's another John Warner gem:


Tony Abbott's ukulele : Not quite Alleluia
Words John Warner©John Warner 2011
Music courtesy Leonard Cohen Alleluia

I'd like to write a Cohen song
Turgid, mysterious and long,
A complex composition to regale ye,
With cosmic concepts, dark and deep,
But I might send you all to sleep,
And so I'll sing of Tony's ukulele.
Ukulele, Ukulele, Ukulele Ukule-le-le.

Tony Abbot's quite a bloke,
He likes to keep the worker's broke,
And keep the corporate profits rising daily.
His brain's one big hot air balloon,
And now, to play the bosses' tune,
Our Tony's learned to play the ukulele.
Ukulele, Ukulele, Ukulele Ukule-le-le.

He could have learned to play the flute,
He's more inclined towards the lute,
Admittedly the looting suits him gaily.
We're none of us inclined to praise
His politics and power plays,
Why praise him when he plays the ukulele?
Ukulele, Ukulele, Ukulele Ukule-le-le.

Clive Palmer gave him chords to play,
On the Greenies' source of pay,
And how the Left is funded CIA-ley.
But hear the Pentagon deny
That petty and appalling lie,
Tony, lad, stick to your ukulele.
Ukulele, Ukulele, Ukulele Ukule-le-le.

But let him play it night and day
Till all his party turns away,
A-weeping and a-crying "Waly waly".
Then with their Liberal brains on fire
They'll join a bold trade union choir
And drown the sound of Tony's ukulele.
Ukulele, Ukulele, Ukulele Ukule-le-le.

Optional verses
In royal performance I foresee,
Him play before her Majesty,
And maybe he can stop by the Old Bailey,
The Judge can give him 14 years,
And Tony can reduce to tears,
Old Dartmoor's convicts with his Ukulele
So Tony, now we've got this far,
We'd like to tell you what you are,
And living with the likes of you's no ceilidh,
You louse, you lummox, lout and liar,
You vicious, verminous vampire,
You slimy specious serpent, YOU kulele

Source: http://unionsong.com/u735.html

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 09:53 PM

he is very dislikeable, Joe - his government's latest budget "shares the burden" of the budget deficit (a very small deficit in terms of comparable economies according to international organisations which know these things) by making major permanent cuts in pensions & services that affect those on the lowest incomes & a temporary tax of around $7 per week for those on very high incomes! My cartoon collection has grown by leaps & bounds since his government came to power last year & started putting or attempting to put it's policies in place.

If you have the time & inclination to read up on current Australian politics, try abc.net.au (our national broadcaster, equivalent to UK's BBC)

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: GUEST,DaveA
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 10:53 PM

Interesting that Cathy used "And the band played..." as the tune for her masterpiece (that line "I've still got the box it came in" is immortal), as Eric Bogle in his early days wrote a lot of political satire. I remember him performing at The Troubador in Melbourne just after Bob Hawke had knocked off Malcolm Frazer. He walked out on stage and said he didn't know whether to cheer because the bastards had lost or weep because he'd lost a third of his repertoire!!

I wonder if HE has a Tony Abbott song or two and if he'd be prepared to release them to us??

Just a thought...

Dave

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Joe Offer
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 11:11 PM

Ah, and what a thought, Dave....

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Shimbo Darktree
Date: 04 Jun 14 - 11:34 PM

At the Fleurieu Folk Festival (near Eric's home) a couple of years ago, I know Eric performed a very funny political number to do with an event that had just happened. He did say it was unlikely it would ever be released commercially, but I have a feeling that one had a lot to do with Abbott.

Political songs are understandably often not published, particularly by those who are successful entertainers - too much risk of legal backwash. A great pity!

- Shimbo

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 05 Jun 14 - 02:50 AM

Dave - John Dengate has similar reaction when Joh left Qld politics - he'd lost a large part of his repertoire!

sandra

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Andrez
Date: 06 Jun 14 - 10:00 PM

Just on the topic of why songs about the local situation are needed perhaps more urgently than ever now because of Tony Rabbit and Co.

On the front page of the national Murdoch paper there is an article reporting on how the govt (sic!) is opening the way for more foreign workers: chefs bricklayers and tilers. Its not as if we don't have any unemployed people looking for trades type work but no we have to reduce the jobs available to locals by letting in more imports so we can go on blaming the locals for being work shy and welfare dependent and then have an excuse to reduce social welfare supports even more!

Given that scenario reminds me of the song by the wonderful Christy Moore: Ordinary Man (No work Today). Check it out at: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIh5dUOz824&feature=kp

Cheers,

Andrez

Subject: RE: ADD: Songs about Oz Prime Minister Tony Abbott
From: Shimbo Darktree
Date: 07 Jun 14 - 07:43 PM

Yes, Andrez ... a great song. Perhaps we should send it to Tiny Hobbit.

- Shimbo