BS: So here I am then

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: wysiwyg
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 02:26 PM

Sugar Dog arf, too.

Really, IARF, if you want that kind of repartee, Davecoje is your man. Send him a PM, and I'm sure you'll be pleased at what develops!

Know any good limericks?

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 02:28 PM

Is it Mikey in starry L.A.?
Or some bounder back in the U.K.?
Whoe'er it may be
He's out of his tree
And he's choked on his own foot of clay

Lena - Hi there! I've been all over on Mudcat lately, so I guess we just weren't on the same threads. Nice to hear from you.

Spaw - I like your sensitivity and good taste, as always. Well done. Ha! Ha! I love it.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Jeri
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 02:53 PM

Dear Mr Famous, you can switch topics mid-stream if you'd like, but both peasants and famous persons such as yourself who aren't reading this thread may miss the question. It would be a better idea to start a new thread with something like "Lyr Req: Londons Ordinary" in the title.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: catspaw49
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 03:03 PM

Like I said to you Max............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: MMario
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 03:47 PM

IARFABTYL -

can't figure out how to do it, eh?

Through the Royal Exchange as I walked
Where Gallants in Sattin did shine
At midst of the Day, they parted away
At several places to Dine

The Gentry went to the King's Head
The Nobles unto the Crown
The Knights unto the golden Fleece
and the plowmen to the Clown.

the clergy will dine at the Miter;
The vintners at the three Tuns:
The weavers to the Devil will go
and the Fryers unto the Nuns.

The ladies will dine at the Feathers,
The Globe no Captain will shun.
The huntsman will go to the Greyhound below and some townsmen to the Hun

The plummer will dine at the Fountain
The cooks at the Holy Lamb
the drunks at ??? to the man in the moon
and the cuckolds to the (?)

the (?) will dine at the Lyon
The Watermen at the old Swan
The bawds will the the Negro go And the whores to the naked man

The keepers will to the White Hart
The marriners until the ship
the beggers they must take their way To the eggshell and the Whip

The Farriers will to the Horse
The BLacksmith unto the Lock
The Butchers to the Bull will go
and the Carmen to Bidwell Dock

The fishmongers unto the Dolphin
The Bakers to the Cheat Loaf
The turners unto the Ladle will go
where they may merrily quaff.

The taylors will dine at the Sheers
The shoemakers will to the Boot
The Welshmen they will take their way
and dine at the Sign of the Goat.

The hussers will dine at the Leg
The Drapers at the Sign of the Brush
The fletchers to Robin Hood will go
and the Spendthrift to beggers bush

Want more?

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Mickey191
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 07:32 PM

While I don't like to argue, once in my life I hope I'll be mad enough at someone to say,"You would probably eat the crotch out of a leper's underwear." What a line! I'm indebted to you Catspaw. Slainte

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 07:50 PM

Yeh!!!

The lepers crotch bit is up there with "May the hole in your arse heal up" and "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits".

I love a good insult or curse.

My best (Being a subtle and sensitive soul) is "FUCK OFF YOU STUPID GOBSHITE"

Not that I would use that here of course....:-)

D the G

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Iarf
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 08:19 PM

I am indebted to you MMario , please accept my thanks. Five verses I didn't have.They don't scan too well but with my abilities a simple rewrite will have them perfect.It appears that I was right after all. This Mudcat thing , if used correctly , really works! Thanks to all the contributors to this thread , some of whom were mildly amusing and others most insultingly forthright and indeed probably no more than I "apparently" deserved. But why oh why the bad language? it was largely gratuitous and may have caused offence to the more gentle spirits who read it.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Ebbie
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 08:21 PM

IARF is funny but not grammatically correct. IISF comes closer.

Eb

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: paddymac
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 10:51 PM

a most humble effort:

A poster from over the ocean
Who isn't quite up on his spellin'
Came into our house
And acted the louse
But in class he surely was wantin'.

Then Max took a page from Bro Joe
And cautioned us all to go slow
He said it might be
A real refugee
And our own ass we oughtn't to show. **

"Spaw - 'tis a real pearl ye are.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Naemanson
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 10:57 PM

Lurking and laughing.

I think this guy is just yanking chains.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Troll
Date: 13 Nov 00 - 11:50 PM

No doubt he was merely testing our mettle.

troll...who suffers from mettle fatigue

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: John P
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 12:29 AM

A new poster came on with a fling - His own praises he wanted to sing. But the louder the brag, The shorter the shag, But not quite as short as his thing.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 12:58 AM

Please forgive my fellow Mudcatters for any disrespect they may have shown you,Mr Renbourne,and especially for the "leper's crotch" bit.If I send you my copy of Basket of Light could you get Mr Jansch to sign it for me?

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:13 AM

You're on a real roll lately Leej...LMAO!!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Bugsy
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:20 AM

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:31 AM

DAMN!!! Bugsy, you just keep cranking those out don't you? Beautfully done and who could possibly disagree? I am envious of your silver-tongued ways!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Mickey191
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:53 AM

Is there a mudcat dictionary where I can look up some of the abbreviations used so often in the forum. Currently wondering what LMAO_ARF_IISF_LOL mean. Any help? Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Bugsy
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 02:18 AM

'Spaw, it's my way of saying "I can't be bothered to comment."

Cheers

Bugsy

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 03:05 AM

Mickey191, I'll clear up my nonsensical bit. Notice that IARF is the acronym for the latest and most famous -if we can believe it- Mudcat member: I Am Really Famous, etc. I just did a little wordplay on "I ar f". Anyone can see that's not grammatical since I is singular and can't be used in a plural verb phrase. Therefore since 'is' is singular, surely "I is f" is more grammatical. Now, aren't you sorry you asked...

Ebbie

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 05:40 AM

Don't understand the wordplay, Ebbie. Sureley IarF is the first initials of I Am Realy Famous and now becomes larf (laugh). I know I may be really stoopid but how does IisF fit in???

Anyway - the lyric request -

the drunks at ??? to the man in the moon
I reckon it could be NOON
and the cuckolds to the (?)
Dunno, but isn't there something about a cuckolds spoon???

the (?) will dine at the Lyon

Surely, with the Manchester, UK, gathering going on it must be the Mudcatters dine at the (White) Lion...:-)

Cheers

D the G

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Naemanson
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 08:19 AM

But Dave, you aren't taking into account the OTHER Mudcat Manchester gathering which has been described as "the largest Mudcat gathering to date" by some of our esteemed brothers and sisters.

Yes, you too can partake in the first ever Manchester to Manchester TransAtlantic Mudcat Music Party!

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: John P
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 09:16 AM

OK, let's try my limerick again, with line breaks this time.

A new poster came on with a fling -
His own praises he wanted to sing.
But the louder the brag,
The shorter the shag -
But not quite as short as his thing.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: MMario
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 09:30 AM

IARF - can't help the scansion, that's what was written...

The sadlers will dine at the Saddle
The Painters to the green Dragon
The Dutchmen will go to the Sign of the Crab
Where each man may drink his flagon

The Chandlers will dine at the Scales
The Salters at the Sign of the bag
The Porters take pain at the Labour-in-vain
And the Horse-courier to the White Nag

thus every man in his humour
from north unto the south
but he that hath no money in his purse
May dine at the Sign of the mouth

The swaggerers will dine at the Fencers
but those that have lost their wits
With Bedlam Tom let there be their home
and the DRUM the Drummers best fits

The Cheater will dine at the Chequer
The pick-pocket at a blind Ale boule
'till taken and ?? up Holbourn they ??
and make their end at the gallows.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 09:52 AM

Well Mr Bollox - I probably must be a gentle soul. All the swearing and spitefulness is getting on my nerves. This may be a very funny bit of p-taking, but where genital-size has to come into it escapes me somewhat. Being rude just for the sake of it is pretty juvenile, and generally betokens a lack of anything worthwhile to say.

Kris

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 10:07 AM

Kris, I think you're agreeing with Mr Bollox. I still think he came here looking for a friendly bit of flaming to break the ice and some people didn't see it - or missed the intended smile and wink. Some did, but have a different way of going about playing. Of course, if it's Catspaw you're talking about, "different" is an understatement. *smile/wink*

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: MMario
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 10:28 AM

I find it both amusing and a little sick that someone who would come into a forum with a self-introduction such as IARF... and then complain about "bad language" and extend worry about "gentle readers". This is obviously just *my* opinion.

And while I didn't mind transcribing Londons Ordinary to the best of my ability...I would also point out that implying that the time of the members of this forum is less valuable then IARF's time really isn't a very political way of asking for help.

Then there is the claim that the words of the original broadside don't scan well enough...

IARF is functioning as one of the more obvious types of web "trolls"; whether by intent, natural incination or for some unknown reason. My reaction is "play with fire, expect to get burned" - and also that if you spray fuel on a lit flame, don't blame the fire if bystanders get hurt.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 10:55 AM

I _DO_ have to say that I detect a not-inconsiderable lump of tongue in IARF's cheek.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: GUEST,Matt_R
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 10:57 AM

Kris--my words exactly.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 10:58 AM

I doubt whether Mr Bollox was sincere in his worries about bad language & gentle readers. Nevertheless there is bad language & there are gentle readers (ish). However its the idle, nothing better to do, nastiness by default that just gets really wearing. Its like, here we go again...
It's irksome.
I'm irked.
Perhaps I've misplaced my sense of humour though - or just tired of the joke.

kris (aka wet blanket)

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 11:20 AM

OK, I'm feeling a bit better now. This isn't quality, but at least I'm doing my best to welcome Mr Bollox

"I have just joined this list. It really is magnanimous of me I realise."

Well, we all appreciate your little gesture, I'm sure. You probably just barely found the time to join between May Day gigs. It probably took you several months just to find the "on" button on your computer, and the bells probably kept getting tangled in all those electrical wires.

"So what happens on this list. Just a lot sycophants talking about what they would like to do but can't......"

So far, there has been no one that has met our rigid requirements for sycophancy. We have a checklist. It should be in the FAQ. If you play bodhran in public, you're automatically disqualified. Also if you mis-spell it. We can't really find it in our hearts to suck up to someone who moves "h"s around on a whim.

"and what is this Manchester Gathering that keeps cropping up. (Manchester real world not Manchester USA) Is it worth the time and efforts of a real performer turning up?"

Have your agent get in touch. I'm sure someone will call. (By the way, you (UK) may have the most famous Manchester, but we've (US) got more of them. Nyah, nyah.)

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: mousethief
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 11:30 AM

America's not in the real world? Oh hell. Here we've had virtual reality for over 200 years and nobody thought to patent it.

Alex
O..O
=o=

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 11:36 AM

I can easily cope with the 'more important than you' attitude. I have to everyday on the roads. Someone (usualy driving a BMW or Merc) decides that whatever they are doing is more important than me. They cut in front at queues; expect to be let back in when they purposely join the wrong lane to gain time; behave in a generaly boorish or inconsiderate manner and cheese a lot of people off. (Rant off)

I feel sorry for them. If life/work/home life is that hectic they are going to die of a heart attack soon anyway. Let them be I say - you could be saving a life.

I don't think Iarf is in this category though. You would never get a BMW driver with the sense of humour to say "I will be the one in the flack jacket...". They are just far to important to realise they have caused offence!

As to bad language. Guilty as charged. I had forgotten that this is a public place. I wouldn't dream of using the language I used earlier in, say, the library or on a bus, so why should I do it here??? I stop forthwith and if I lapse I request that someone come and give me a clip round the ear'ole.

Dave the repentant Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 12:13 PM

King Brilliant -

you said "Being rude just for the sake of it is pretty juvenile, and generally betokens a lack of anything worthwhile to say."

Yes, generally in life I would agree with that. I am very seldom heard to swear gratuitously. I usually have to have a pretty compelling reason to do so.

However, those of us who DO have any number of worthwhile things to say, and do so frequently...well, we just HAVE to temper it occasionally with an outburst of juvenile rudeness on Mudcat. You see, in this way we are enabled to avoid the inevitable accusations of exhibiting ivory-tower pretentiousness and a holier-than-thou attitude which would no doubt come our way without these period lapses in good taste.

Bollox did us all a favour by providing us with a golden opportunity to do so, and probably deserves at least a small measure of gratitude for so doing... :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: GUEST,I am really famous and bollox to you lot
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:02 PM

My thanks once again to MMario. Where are you finding them?. The missing words are "till taken and TRIED up holbourn they RIDE". But another three (new to me)verses you have kindly provided. The song is becoming unmanageable by it's very size (something , apparently , I have a problem with) and I must beg your leave to edit some verses out to enable a masterful performance. May I also assure KingBrilliant that I was indeed sincere about bad language. Apart from my single use of the word bollox I am innocent of using bad language in any of my postings. I am possibly guilty as charged on all the other counts of arrogance , pomposity , mizpelling bowran , bad grammar etc. etc. Yes I expected flames and healthy vitriol but why cloud it with unpleasant language?.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: MMario
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:25 PM

IARF - I just read them off the Bodlian site. took less then a couple minutes each time. The quality of reproduction there really isn't the best, though, is it?

I suspect some of the difficulty with the scansion may lie in changes in pronunciation; and may even lie with the idiosyncratic (is that a word?) pronunciation of the original author. I know there have been verses which I could not recite or sing in a set rhythm, which other people by very minor changes in pronunciation could.

Do you have a tune for this? Can you post and or transmit it in some way? also your other verses? Would you be willing to? I'd like to get it done up in "proper" format and submit to the DT, if there are no objections.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Naemanson
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:49 PM

Jeri, [hbodran] am [bhodran] I [bohdran] disqualified [bodrhan] if [bodrahn] I [bodranh] WANT [hhhhran] to [bodhhhh] play [bohhhan] the bodhran?

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: mousethief
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 01:53 PM

Is it just me or does "iarf" sound like the noise one makes while voiding one's stomach?

Or not.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: MMario
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 02:24 PM

MT - it either does, or doesn't, depending. It also sounds like Popeye in a good mood. Sorta.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Jeri
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 03:24 PM

Naemanson, are you disqualified from being sucked up to? Yes. I think the only person we suck up to around here is Max, but we complain to him too. I've seen people being extraordinarily nice to Joe Offer, but only when they wanted a typo fixed.

MMario, I don't know the tune to the song, but I have no problem getting it to fit a set rhythm. (Same, basically, as a limerick.) Of course I may be doing something weird and not realizing it when I read the words. It IS one heck of a long song, though.

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Nov 00 - 04:03 PM

Once I get my turntable mended I may be able to record the track of a vinyl album I have by Jolly Jack - If I can get the turntable output into the input of my sound card that is. I will give it a try anyway.

If anyone else does it first PM me to let me know.

Cheers

D the G

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 15 Nov 00 - 12:40 PM

Do we think Mr. Bollox (is that as in gateaux?) will be playing his bohdran or wearing it in Manchester?Spaw I just love your approach to making a guy feel welcome!!!!!!Of course you're probably the most (in)famous person here so I guess that's your privilege.xxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: So here I am then
From: Noreen
Date: 17 Nov 00 - 08:27 AM

Good line, Mrs. Duck! LOL!

...a gold-plated bodhran round his neck... or he may be a most civil and genteel character in real life... we shall see, perhaps?

Noreen