 sj |
||
|
||
Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures
|
|
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: GUEST,Rufus T. Flywheel Date: 29 Jan 02 - 12:21 AM Dear Ms. alison, I would like to point out to you that as a fine Irish lass, it would behoove you to ignore the lame attempts of Mr. Lane as he is on the "Watch" list of the the North American Leprechaun And Little Green Fuckers Guild for eating the ass out of a leprechaun, all of his protestations to the contrary. My firm represents the NALALGF and we would advise you not associate with this individual. I would also like to say that I have found this Catspaw person to be a stellar individual and worthy of your time and communications. Unlike Mr. Lane he is eminently trustworthy and would, I'm sure, sign an affadavit to the effect that he would restrict his ass eating to you alone should you so desire. Best Regards, Rufus T. Flywheel |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: alison Date: 29 Jan 02 - 12:34 AM hmmmmmmmm...... now let me think about... I can have Big Mick or 'Spaw? .......... decisions, decisions... what is a girl to do????? on the one hand.... Mick is a cute big hunk... but he's never home!!! and on the other... I could have hours of fun joining the dots on 'Spaw's scars....... let me give it a little more thought.... but thanks for your concern Mr Flywheel. slainte alison |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: DougR Date: 01 Feb 02 - 04:30 PM Heather: I think you should insist that Jed bring you some good Texas smoked ribs, or beef brisket when he comes to Toronto. He could drop by Sonny Bryans or Dickie's or, heck, I'll bet he knows lots of good barbeque joints in Big D he could visit before making the trip. Smoked meat dosn't freeze well, but if he's flying it should still be pretty good by the time he gets there. DougR |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Amergin Date: 01 Feb 02 - 04:37 PM so are you suggesting he bring his own food? |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Feb 02 - 04:41 PM I think it would be better than eating the ass out of a leprechaun, don't you 'Gin Boy? And alison.......I got a magic marker right here........ Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: JedMarum Date: 01 Feb 02 - 10:19 PM Damn, I wish I could bring some smoked ribs, etc ... but it would never last the drive! 'course a bottle of Jack would last the trip since I don't drink. The leprechaun's safe, Spaw - at least until I get to Mick's ... then, well I can't make any promises! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: DougR Date: 01 Feb 02 - 10:29 PM Arghhhhhhhhhh! You're driving, Jed! Jeeze, that's quite a trip by car. Well, I think you better forget the ribs then. DougR |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Rick Fielding Date: 01 Feb 02 - 10:43 PM On the other hand you COULD bring us a wee bag of Grits. Can't get 'em here. Sadly, we finally got winter two days ago. On the other hand, the weather's been so weird, the snow may have all thawed by the time you get here. Mudcatters, make sure you listen to Jed in the flesh (with a bit of Big Mick...who's also pretty fleshy) on the radio, Monday night (that's the 12th I believe). Details are at my site. Rick
|
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: DougR Date: 01 Feb 02 - 11:52 PM Geeze, Jed. Can you find grits in Big D? You may have to swing through Louisiana! I guess if you got some you could always use them instead of road salt should the need arise. Rick didn't say what he wanted to do with them, but I can't imagine he wants to eat them. DougR |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Amos Date: 02 Feb 02 - 12:06 AM Geeze, Spaw, you have too much time on your hands. That cowboy Martin laminate jobby looks like a nightmare left over from New Years' at the Fieldings!!! A |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: catspaw49 Date: 02 Feb 02 - 11:50 AM Amos, it just goes to show the depths to which Chris IV will go.......I guess it's funny and I'm glad he can indulge his humorous side, but I wonder what's next? Then again, I haven't heard about him eating the ass out of a leprechaun............... Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Big Mick Date: 02 Feb 02 - 12:22 PM You won't hear much of Big Mick on this show, it is about Jed and his wonderful music. I am along for the ride and to enjoy the music.........and to eat the arse out of.........oops........shit........slip of the tongue there......besides, it is hard to beat Marum to the table anyway....... Spaw, you dink........tell that fly by night ambulance chasing friend of y'ourn that he should leave the Beef Brothers alone. Between us, we have stocked up on our ammo and are waiting for his arse to show up. I have the musical equivalent of a 10 guage shotgun, in that mid 60's Guild 12 string, and I have loaded it with minor 7ths, ninths, and various and sundry diminished chords. Musically, that is the same as the first round is rocksalt and everything after that isn't..............LOL. And Marum, being a Texas boy by way of Massachussets, is carrying the really big stuff. So just tell that little shyster to show up and see what he gets. HEY HEATHER.........how we coming on that haggis, love? I will pick up some grits as well, I think I have an extra bag in the back room that I use for melting ice on the porch............LOL. Can't wait to see you all again. All the best, Mick |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Marion Date: 02 Feb 02 - 01:02 PM Mick, Jed, I'm planning on going out to the radio station on the 11th. I look forward to meeting you. Marion |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: JedMarum Date: 04 Feb 02 - 11:41 PM Well it seems that one of the Beef Brothers may be just a bit short of flesh on this trip. The lovely and gracious Louisa Mae convinced me that I really ought to make an attempt to define the point at which my nose hair ends and my msutache begins ... before I make such a trip to a foreign land, up there in the frozen north (I'm talking about Wayland MI, of course). So off I went to 'the boys bathroom' with a 6 inch pair of sheers in tow. Now, I've done this grooming task before, a time or two, and I know the trick is to get those sheers deep into the nasal cavity so they are just about one centimeter from the brain - then you just "CLIP" 'til all those little wirey rascals are gone. Well I ws doing just that and things were going along swimmngly until one particularly wirey set of hairs torqued the scissors in a slighly forward direction. Now I'm sure I don't have to tell you that there really just isn't that much extra, unoccupied space inside a nasal cavity - even one so grand and cavernous as belongs to this Beef Brother. So you might say this slip caused a bit of rucus aroun the Marum house, for a few minutes. We've cleanned up the bathroom up now. It's suitable once more for guests of any gender - and the bleeding is mostly under control now, except when I hold my head up - and I've only sneezed the one time since the mishap ... the lovely and gracious Louisa has nearly got the wall paper sponged off by now ... And I don't think the cut is quite visible from the outside, when you're looking at the opposite side of my face, and the light is low .... Other then that, I roll tomorrow, late morning. A few stops planned (or in planning) along the way. Should be in MI Thu/Fri and Toronto Sun. All the best. |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Big Mick Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:49 AM OK.................let me get this straight.............you stuck a set of hedgeclippers (I am Irish, I tell the story and you swear to it) up your nose, slipped and damn near cut out your tonsil???????? By the time we get to Toronto, I will have done wonders with this story.............LOL. You be safe on the road, Brother. I will see you in a few days. And we will keep the log here for the rest of you folks. Mick |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 05 Feb 02 - 03:21 AM Uh, Jed. Excuse me. What's this going to Canada shit? Aren't you supposed to be rehearsing with me for our performance of Sweet Ellen Joyce at the North Texas irish Festival in March? What am I, chopped haggis? Seamus |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: MMario Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:10 AM After the incident with the gas powered hedge clippers it's Jed that's the chopped haggis! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Big Mick Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:43 AM Hey..............Kennedy...............get off the lads arse.........he is just coming to warm things up for the Michigan Irish Music Festival in September. This is Michigan, you know..........it takes a bit to warm things up here.....and you are next. Mick |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: JedMarum Date: 05 Feb 02 - 10:01 AM Seamus - I am really looking forward to my guest spot with you at NTIF. In fact I might have told a few freinds about it (actually more like half the world)! When do we rehearse? Actually I will be working with your record ... you do it C? I've worked on guitar and/or harmonica versions as well as banjo ... so I think I'm ready. You can choose which instrument works best. We'd love to have you join us on the Fielding/Beef Brothers tour. Come on up! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: JedMarum Date: 05 Feb 02 - 10:05 AM What the hell am I doing still here??? I should be on the road. Let's see ... checklist; guitar, banjo, capo, harmonicas, extra strings, toothbrush, razor (naw, it's only 12 days leave that razor behind), band aids, gauze - I'm ready. "Let's Roll!" |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Big Mick Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:08 AM GRITS!!! YOU FORGOT THE GRITS!!!!! Oh well, I have already picked up a supply of two different brands for them anyway. |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: JenEllen Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:45 AM Take care Jed, and remember to apply direct pressure and keep your nose above your heart.... I'd say I was positively green with envy, but I like my arse just the way it is, ta muchly...You guys have fun and keep us posted. ~J |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Justa Picker Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:29 PM I humbly volunteer as the official Beef Brother's photographer during their stay in Toronto (at least as far as next Monday is concerned), and will make arrangements to forward the digital photos to Jeff (Pene) for inclusion under the "Events" section, once completed. It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it. **BG** |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: DougR Date: 05 Feb 02 - 12:44 PM I can't think of a better person to do it, Justa! We will all look forward (well most of us anyway) to seeing the pictures after they are posted. DougR |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Jeri Date: 05 Feb 02 - 05:54 PM I'd like to apologise for this beforehand...
His nose was full of bogeys which stuck to the hair |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Bill D Date: 05 Feb 02 - 06:23 PM well! talk about serendipity!...I found in my morning paper, a BIG ad for SharperImage....with this little irem featured! (boy, I hope that works!) must have been a post-monition, huh? *grin*...Jed, m'boy, you need TECHNOLOGY! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Bill D Date: 05 Feb 02 - 07:57 PM $39.95...cheap, and maybe it will also core apples and cure hemorroids!...darn few bargains out there today, you gotta get these things while they're hot! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: MMario Date: 05 Feb 02 - 08:10 PM jeri - I like it! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Jeri Date: 05 Feb 02 - 09:22 PM Thanks MMario. I don't know how Jed's gonna like me writing a (bad) parody of his song, Look Ahead Tommy, which I happen to love, but if the guy is gonna stick power tools in his personal orifices, (and worse - he actually shared this incident with us) he deserves it. Jed, we don't wanna know about the drill, the nail gun, and especially not the vaccuum cleaner. Rick, don't let him anywhere near your Dremel! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Bill D Date: 05 Feb 02 - 11:01 PM hmmmppff...he just needs the RIGHT power tool!....what's $40 for a life of carefree nosereaming! |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 12:06 AM Ya' know I could replace the special nosepick attachment on the Amish-Australian Pitchfork Moustache Tuner.........Of course it would add to the cost, but it might be worth it for some of you........like Jed. Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: MMario Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:03 AM Jeri - the fact it was based on 'Look Ahead Tommy' is what tickeled me the most. |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Seamus Kennedy Date: 06 Feb 02 - 03:06 PM Jed, like most folkies we'll rehearse 3 minutes before we go on stage. Yes I do it in C, and if you play banjo, and I play guitar, we can fake the hell out of it. Please don't lose any vital appendages (by that I mean fingers) while you're gallivanting around with RickMick et al up there. Big Mick, back off, I had him first! Seamus |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: catspaw49 Date: 06 Feb 02 - 08:08 PM Just pulled up this from the St.Louis Post Dispatch: Pensioner Attacked in Farmington (02/06/02, Farmington, MO) Authorities in this small community 80 miles south of St. Louis are baffled by an attack early this morning. Police were summoned to the parking lot at the Wal-Mart by an employee who had responded to the cries of Richard O'Toole, 82, a pensioner living at Presbyterian Manor Complex in Farmington. O'Toole, a very diminuitive man, was being aided by several people when police arrived. He was writhing in pain and screaming repeatedly, "The fecker ate me arsehole." O'Toole was transported to Farmington Community Hospital where he is listed in critical, but stable condition following surgery. There were no eyewitnesses to the actual attack but a very large white male was seen leaving the scene by several patrons of the Steak N Shake Restaurant. Dudley Snatcherd of rural Farmington said the man had eaten breakfast at the Steak N Shake and left when he was told they had run out of both eggs and steak. Snatcherd said the man was quite angry but was unable to give an accurate description saying only he was "a big sumbitch." O'Toole had also just left the restaurant and was walking back to Presbyterian Manor, a retirement village in Farmington where he has lived for the past seven years. The Wal-Mart parking lot adjoins the parking area at the Steak N Shake. Formby Smugholtz, a detective with the Farmington Police, could only comment that it was a strange and gruesome crime. "I've never seen anything like it. He ate the asshole out of the poor little guy." O'Toole is well known in the area and often assists in the annual St. Patrick's Day celebrations. Presbyterian Manor spokesperson Sheila Lipschitz says the Manor has a nursing facility and will move Mr. O'Toole there as soon as possible. Presbyerian Manor is a complete assisted living facility with total services for the elderly. Anyone with information should contact the Farmington Police Department...(Dwight Mannsburden, Staff Writer) Hmmmm............Gang, I tell ya'.....I really don't like the sound of this at all. Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: GUEST,Rufus T. Flywheel Date: 06 Feb 02 - 09:30 PM Rufus T. Flywheel Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel 1-800-SCREWEM I am posting this letter and forwarding it also to the homes of Mssrs. Lane and Marum. We here at Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel have been notified of the attack in Missouri and Mr. O'Toole is indeed a member of longstanding with the North American Leprechaun and Little Green Fuckers Guild. As the legal representatives of the NALALGFG we have discussed the situation with the Farmington Police and at this time we have no evidence that Mr. Marum was involved but the probability is certainly there. Farmington authorities will attempt to locate Mr. Marum and should he be found guilty of this heinous act, a lawsuit will follow.
Regards, |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Amos Date: 06 Feb 02 - 11:58 PM LOL, Paddy wacko!!! A |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: catspaw49 Date: 07 Feb 02 - 08:43 AM LAugh if you must Amos, but this situation could be serious. My gawd if this proves true we may find a trail of asshole eaten leprechauns from Texas to Toronto! Oh gawd, the tiny humanity............. Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Jeri Date: 07 Feb 02 - 01:50 PM Mulder: "Sculley, get this - I got a tip from 'the man with no neck,' and..." Sculley: "The man with no neck? Mulder: "Yeah. The new source. Anyway, he gave me a hot tip on..." Sculley: "The man with no neck? NO NECK?!?! Wasn't he in the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Mulder: "Dana, don't be silly. Anyway, he told me about this case in Missouri, and I checked it out on the internet. Seems a little old guy was attacked in a Wal-Mart parking lot. The only thing the attacker did was eat his asshole." Sculley: "Someone ate his asshole?!" Mulder: "Yep. Anyway, that's not the weirdest thing about this case. I found out..." Sculley: "You say this man had his ASSHOLE EATEN?!" Mulder: "Twice now. Anyway, the guy was a member of something called NALALGFG." Sculley: "Could you possibly spell that?" Mulder: "Sorry. N.A.L.A.L.G.F.G. It stands for "North American Leprechaun And Little Green Fuckers Guild." Sculley: "So now you're going to tell me there was there a rainbow leading to a pot of gold shoved up this guy's ass or something equally preposterous..." Mulder: "That's silly, Scully. I'm just relating the facts, here. Apparently, this organazation has its own attorney on retainer. The attorney has been sending threatening letters to a Mr Jed Marum, who he believes is responsible." Sculley: "That could be considered harrassment." Mulder: "There's more. The police DID go to Mr Marum's home in Texas. The found traces of blood on every surface in his bathroom, and bloody rags in his trash. His wife claimed the blood was Marum's own, shed in a nose hair trimming incident. The type matches his." Sculley: "This guy definitely sounds like a waco." Mulder: "No, Dallas." Sculley: "Well, let's go. I'll get someone to watch my perfectly normal alien hybrid baby, and you can get the plane tickets, and...HEY - aren't you supposed to be in hiding or something? And I definitely remember you as being taller...and less green..." Mulder: "Err...hey LOOK! I didn't know your kid could spin her head 360 degrees! (oops...)" |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Jeri Date: 08 Feb 02 - 02:17 PM I didn't mean to kill the poor little thread - honest. Looking forward to reports of Jed sightings, hopefully not by leprechauns. |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: GUEST,Rufus T. Flywheel Date: 08 Feb 02 - 03:04 PM Rufus T. Flywheel Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel 1-800-NOPRIDE We have employed the services of the somewhat strange team of Mulder and Sculley to aid in the investigation and monitoring of this strange case. We at Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel, feel confident in their quirky abilities and bizarre approach. I would also report that Mr. O'Toole is now recovering after a successful surgery to replace his missing asshole. Thanks to modern surgical techniques he was given an artificial anus made from a faucet gasket. He is expected to make a full recovery although the faucet handle will have to be turned on and off to defecate. Mr. Marum was found to have no hard evidence against him but the preponderance of circumstantial evidence will be noted and kept on file for possible use later. Along those lines, the wife of one of our members living in the Dunes area of southern Michigan reported her husband missing today. A tourist couple was also reported to have been seen a small man running across a section of dunes while holding his ass, but police were unable to follow the tracks in the heavy sand. The same couple reported a large man with a bloody nose had accosted them earlier and demanded a ham sandwich or some barbeque then driven away. These two events combined with our member's disappearance have caused us to put a higher watch level on Marum and Lane. Mulder and Sculley will be investigating.
Regards, |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Jeri Date: 09 Feb 02 - 05:43 PM They're having fish again, in Michigan They're cooking crabs in Crief Off in Toronto, I really want to Know...where is the Beef? |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: Big Mick Date: 10 Feb 02 - 11:32 AM Jed arrived safe and sound on Thursday.................tried to feed him, but he was full. Said he had snacked at several stops along the way. He was acting kind of strange. I thought we might go out, but he didn't want to be seen in public. And he told me that if a car drove slowly by, with a man and a woman in it with a big X on the door, to give him notice. He then went and hid under the bed......I don't know? We are having a great time. Jed did a radio interview, and then we went to a session with the lads from my band on Friday. Saturday we did the pilgrimage to Elderly and this anal (poor choice of words, LOL) son of a gun doesn't spend a dime. I think that is illegal. But he played about everything in the shop. And in Elderly that is saying something. Next thing I knew he was following this short fella out of the shop. I got out there just in time to throw him in the car and get out of town before the police arrived. We made our way to Grand Rapids and had dinner with a friend of mine who is about 5'6" tall. Jed kept eying him over his salad. I ordered steak tartar for Jed to keep him from pissing off my friend. Jed's concert was spectacular. He was a great hit with the folks here in West Michigan. I think we will see him again up here. For the third set, the members of my band and I got up and played with him. Have you ever heard "Under The Boardwalk" done with Irish instrumentation? How about "Jamaica Farewell"? Then the sonofagun hauls out "Hit the Road, Jack" and starts and then turns to me and says "sing it, Mick". I informed him with great grace and diplomacy (read that as being said with tongue planted firmly in cheek") that I didn't know the words. So he turns to the audience, while the rythm is being played and says "Ray Charles did a nice version of this, but it was lacking something..............a bodhran solo" and then goes back to me. So I did a bodhran solo, all the while cursing his entire lineage back four generations. Then Tom slips into a mandolin solo. And we end the song to a huge ovation. The Culture Police arrived a few minutes later to arrest us all, but our loyal fans wouldn't let them through the crowd. Jed then launches into "Darling Be Home Soon". Great song, and sounded wonderful with the instrumentation at hand. We did a half a dozen songs, and the evening was a huge success. We did have to slip out the side door quickly at the end of the evening. The Culture Police had called for backup and now were joined by the SWAT team which was looking for "a tall guy, blondish hair, with a ponytail who plays guitar and whose wife is called Lou". That describes both of the Beef Brothers. They warned the crowd to closely guard their arseholes, especially if the person is a short male. We split up and met at the corner and made our getaway. We are headed to Toronto as soon as I can construct a muzzle for the lad. I hate to do it, but their are many small men in Canada. More when we get to Toronto. All the best, Mick |
|
Subject: RE: Beef Brothers Fielding Music Adventures From: DougR Date: 10 Feb 02 - 11:37 AM Sounds like you guys are having a great time. Thanks for the update, Mick. DougR |
| Share Thread: |