Subject: What would you want on your headstone? From: Morticia Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:06 PM Well, the time has finally come and David has gone flat enough to put up a stone....his neighbours were way ahead of him, I don't think he was trying :) David, for those who don't know was my first husband, father of my kids and died in May last year, aged 41.Anyway, we are casting around for what to put on the stone.....most of the ones I've seen would ( to pinch Sinsull's phrase;thanks Sins)put me in a diabetic coma.Any suggestions or thoughts would be gratefully received. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Clinton Hammond Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:08 PM I've always been fond of "I told you I was sick" Or "Oh sh!t, I'm dead!" Or "You're standing on my nuts" ;-) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Catherine Jayne Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:12 PM Well I was going to say "I told you I was sick" but clinton got there first. So I suppose "The next round is on you!!!!" Jez would have " I'll be back!" and knowing her she would!!!! cat x |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Sorcha Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:33 PM We put "Call When You Get There" on my mom and dad's. I personally like "No Visitors" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Wesley S Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:38 PM "Well - I don't have to pay taxes anymore ! " |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: catspaw49 Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:43 PM "Sorry, I'll be here later." Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: gnu Date: 05 Apr 02 - 05:51 PM Well, since I am one who celebrates life, and death, in a humourous way, I always thought I would like to "speak" to those who might view my headstone in the same way. Morticia, with the greatest respect, dear, I offer the following as humourous.... "See you soon." "Why aren't you fishing ?" "Are those flowers for me ?" I have a dozen others I have thought of, but they really aren't very PC.... not even close to the ones above, which are disrespectful, at the very least. But I will have one of them on my stone.
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Joe_F Date: 05 Apr 02 - 06:18 PM He got around to everything eventually. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Dagenham Doc Date: 05 Apr 02 - 06:31 PM gnu I thought yours would be" They told me not to play with guns". Doc. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: katlaughing Date: 05 Apr 02 - 06:36 PM We just had one put on our mother's gravesite this past year, Mortee, and we used only her name, including maiden, dates of birth and death and used engraved images, rather than words, for expression. I haven't been to Colorado to see it, yet, but I think we had mountains and some kind of flower on it, as those were symbolic of what she loved so much. Or, it may have been a hummingbird. I'll have to ask my sister!:-) Perhaps there is something like that which David enjoyed that you could have put on the stone? I've seen some other humourous ones, such as "Don't be late for supper!" but somehow I don't think that's what you're looking for here.:-) I do have the follow-up book to the Portable Curmudgeon, called the Portable Curmudgeon Redux from which I could include a few quotes. It's done alphabetically, by subject and some of them are really good. Let me know some subjects and I'll see what I can find. A for instance is this quote from KAtherine Hepburn: Death will be a great relief. No more interviews. Then there's Rick's favourite hero, Quentin Crisp's words, You fall out of your mother's womb, you crawl across open country under fire, and drop into your grave. Here's one of my favs, by James Thurber: If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons. Here's a paraphrase and turnabout of another: You had to stand in line to love him. Here are a few others: It is a curious thing...that every creed promises a paradise which will be absolutely uninhabitable for anyone of civilized taste. - Evelyn Waugh - Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah...didn't miss the boat. - Mark Twain - Everyone would like to behave like a pagan, with everyone else behaving like a Christian. - Albert Camus - We are not hypocrits in our sleep. -William Hazlitt - |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Deckman Date: 05 Apr 02 - 06:38 PM My daughter has already suggested this: "Dad went through life an hour early!". CHEERS, Bob |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Bill D Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:10 PM a search on 'epitaphs' give you MANY choices...humerous and serious....hope you find just the right thing... |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: kendall Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:20 PM I am dead serious with this, and I have told my kids that I want this: I KNEW IF I LIVED LONG ENOUGH, SOMETHING LIKE THIS WOULD HAPPEN. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amos Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:20 PM Doesn't matter what Spaw says -- the boys have one all bought and half-carved for him, for time of need. And it only says one thing on it:
BRRRAWWWWWWWWWMMMMPPPPPPP
A-who-hopes-he-spelled-it-right.... |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: InOBU Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:32 PM Hows this... Take a good look around, Beleive me, You're a long time looking at the lid!... Cheers Larry |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:32 PM I don't plan on having one. My soul will already be merrily off on its next escapade, so what would be the point in having a headstone? If I did have one it would say: "Don't look for me here." - LH |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Sorcha Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:40 PM Remember that the more you want carved, the more it's going to cost. Stones are NOT cheap. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: John Gray Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:45 PM Out to lunch, back in five minutes. JG/FME |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Jim Dixon Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:48 PM I want mine to read "1947 - 2050". |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: katlaughing Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:49 PM Two others which always come to mind and which I might consider for my own are from the Beatles' song, Blackbird: All your life You were only waiting for this moment to arise... and/or, All your life You were only waiting for this moment to be free... or, Fly into the light of the dark black night. LH - I don't think a stone is for the departed. I believe it is for those left behind. It is a tangible thing for them to take some comfort from and also to show that one's life was noted. In the case of family history, I am damn glad we have them as they tell many incredible stories of old times. Though, I do believe, as you do, it won't make a difference to my soul, for I will be off in other realms. Maybe mine will just say Kat....laughing |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: X Date: 05 Apr 02 - 07:59 PM "As I am now, you shall all soon be" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: 53 Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:01 PM I'm not going to have a headstone cause I'm going to be cremated and Glenda is going to carry me around in her guitar case, and if she dies first I'll carry her around in mine. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Little Hawk Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:12 PM Kat - Understood. I've just never been interested in headstones, myself, nor had the inclination to visit gravesites or look at old pictures. I carry the memories in my mind. Those left behind will join me soon enough, I figure. - LH |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: aussiebloke Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:23 PM I want a parking meter - displaying: "expired", or alternately, the simple words: "Kids liked him"... aussiebloke |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Banjer Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:23 PM If I do have a headstone, it will have to say something like, VACANCY or how about Gone to P, Leave My Bier Alone |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: late 'n short 2 Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:27 PM "It's all about the -" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:31 PM What I would want on my headstone is irrelevant because i am not going to see it, but what you put on your late husbands depends what he was like, what was his hobbies/interests, did he like sport? Perhaps you could put a picture of his team, or if you don't want it too flashy just his team colours.What are the other headstones like in the cemetry? If they are all white marble and you put black granite it will stand out a mile.You can have almost anything etched onto a headstone in almost any colour.Do you paint or draw? If so you could take your own design in.My dad was a horseracing fan, so i put a picture of racehorses on his headstone.Whatever you decide, be sure to shop around as the price differences can be enormous, my dad's was 250pounds,(picture headstone in polished black granite) from Clyens (a local independent memorial mason) I was qouted 3 times that by the funeral director. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amergin Date: 05 Apr 02 - 08:43 PM don't want to be buried...i want to be stuffed....and kept in the family room.... |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amos Date: 05 Apr 02 - 09:29 PM "This identity temporarily closed for repairs. Please come see us in our new, renovated identity soon." The Management |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 05 Apr 02 - 09:51 PM I USED TO HAVE BETTER DAYS (AND NIGHTS). |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 05 Apr 02 - 09:53 PM POINT THAT BAND OF ANGELS COMIN' AFTER ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. IT AIN'T COMFY HERE. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: ciarili Date: 05 Apr 02 - 09:58 PM Mushrooms and pepperoni...oh, THAT kinda tombstone! How 'bout: No Parking, Made You Look, Beat Ya!, or Shhh! I'm tryin' ta sleep here..., If it weren't waaay to long, it'd be fun to say, "Nah, nah-nah Nah nah! Don't have to wait in line at the Dept. of Motor Vehicles again!" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Ebbie Date: 05 Apr 02 - 10:55 PM 53Bob says above that since his body's going to be cremated, there won't be a headstone. I can see his point, but my brother, who died two years ago, and also elected to be cremated, specified that he wanted a headstone so that those he loved can come sit there and think of him. And that is what has happened. It's a lovely spot that he and his wife chose years ago; the sun is bright, the grass is green, and the sigh of the tree shading him is the loudest thing around. Ebbie |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: ciarili Date: 05 Apr 02 - 11:13 PM For all my light humour, well, I have to admit their is a certain strange satisfaction in keeping ashes. My best friend has her Olive kitty in a georgeous little glass urn with a beautiful picture of her and some candles, up on top of her china cabinet full of chachkas. I already decided that when my Tash-Tash goes, that's what I'm gonna do with her. As for my husband, I'll probably elect to keep him, too. We're cavers, so I'll probably keep him in the battery compartment of a good-sized flashlight! Now I have to go tell him, since I just thought of that. You know, the keeping of ashes is more convenient and less expensive than a headstone. And when you move, they go with you! ciarili "Machiavelli's The Little Prince" - Antoine de Saint-Exupery's classic children's tale as presented by Machiavelli. The whimsy of human nature is embodied in many delightful and intriguing characters, all of whom are executed.
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 06 Apr 02 - 01:08 AM The author (John Lowe) of "Mary's Dream", DT #562/Laws K20, emigrated from Scotland to Virginia, USA. He was buried near Fredricksburg, but without a headstone, and his gravesite is now unknown. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: katlaughing Date: 06 Apr 02 - 01:12 AM Ebbie, my mom was cremated, too, and we are glad to have the marker. That's the way I plan on being done, too, so the marker will be just that, something to point out that I passed this way. ciarili, I have ashes of 6 or 7 cats and one dog, so far. When I go, my family has orders to mix them all with my ashes and bury us together!*bg* kat |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amos Date: 06 Apr 02 - 01:38 AM The thing I have never gotten my wits around is the tendency in normal speech to refer to one's remains as "I". It's kinda funny. You usually wouldn't think of discarded socks as "me", or be much concerned about the part of you that still occupied that long-since-junked 1969 VW Van. But we get so used to wearing these shells around, we call them ourselves, even after we've moved out!! Dunno why these hamburgers we use as credit cards are so darn habituating, but i am sure it is symptomatic of some kinda problem! :>) A |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Bert Date: 06 Apr 02 - 02:00 AM When Lou died ten years ago, we sprinkled her ashes in the mountains and planted four dozen bristle cone pines. I went up there recently and many of them are thriving. Good ashes I guess. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Big Tim Date: 06 Apr 02 - 02:11 AM I'll leave it up to my kids /wife but I do like Yeats'"Cast a cold eye on life and death, horseman pass by". |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: John MacKenzie Date: 06 Apr 02 - 03:25 AM My own favoured epitaph is a line from a Dylan Thomas poem. "The force that through the green fuse, drives the flower" It sort of seems to me to say that you're still doing some good after you've gone. Of course being a Scot I should be choosing lines from Robert Burns, and there are too many to name, but "A man's a man for a' that" springs to mind. Whatever Mortie, I'm sure that the appropriate words will come to you eventually, good luck in your search. Failte.....Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Tam the bam fraeSaltcoatsScotland Date: 06 Apr 02 - 05:16 AM When I die, if I'm cremeted I would like the song 'light my fire' And on my headstone if I'm buried 'what the fuck'
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 06 Apr 02 - 06:07 AM Vacant |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Micca Date: 06 Apr 02 - 06:35 AM Morty, What about (it seems strangely appropriate, in memory of a certain Holiday and joke worn thin, did he ever get beyond the one line??) " A Far Coolin is calling me away...." |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 06 Apr 02 - 07:17 AM Birdshit... |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: smallpiper Date: 06 Apr 02 - 09:05 AM To quote the big yin "Jesus is it that time already" or oh bugger! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 06 Apr 02 - 10:02 AM "I'd rather be in Disney World" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 06 Apr 02 - 10:53 AM I have instructed my Beautiful Wife, if in fact I get there before she does, to have inscribed on my headstone: A Gentleman and a Scholar--and a Lover That combination expresses succinctly the three key ways I'd like to be remembered. Dave Oesterreich |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,celtic cousin Date: 06 Apr 02 - 12:43 PM My uncle who was an auctioneer and passed only very recently requested: HERE LIES COL. BERNIE SCHMITT - AUCTIONEER GOING...GOING...GONE! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: allanwill Date: 06 Apr 02 - 01:30 PM Gravestones cheer the living, dear, they're no use to the dead. Nitty Gritty Dirt Band Allan |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Rustic Rebel Date: 06 Apr 02 - 03:23 PM Please Recycle. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: C-flat Date: 06 Apr 02 - 05:07 PM "Here lies the body of Will McGray, who would maintain his right of way, his way was right, his will was strong, but he's just as dead as if he'd been wrong" Can't remember who wrote that but it amused me. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Gareth Date: 06 Apr 02 - 05:32 PM Seaweed and Coral Gareth |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Edain Date: 06 Apr 02 - 08:08 PM I don't want a tombstone or any kind of marker. If possible I'd like to be buried at sea. Dunno why but I just don't want the whole grave/headstone/cemetary thing. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: gnu Date: 06 Apr 02 - 08:29 PM Wellll, okaaaayyy, Edain. But, perhaps the could SAY something at the burial that might evoke some passion, some comedy, some LIFE ? |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: kendall Date: 06 Apr 02 - 08:32 PM I have opted for cremation too, but, that's what I want on my urn. (What I posted before) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amergin Date: 06 Apr 02 - 08:33 PM sure they could, Gnu...."PLOP" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 Apr 02 - 03:24 PM Here lies the body of William Gray Who died maitaining his right of way He was right, so right as he drove along But he's just as dead as if he were wrong Failte.....Giok |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Nemesis Date: 07 Apr 02 - 06:26 PM I live across the road from a large municipal cemetary and I must say people are very boring with what they put on headstones... which doubtless inspired one wag to add the graffiti to "Only sleeping" 'AND FOOLING NO ONE BUT HIMSELF'
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Big John Date: 07 Apr 02 - 08:24 PM I have a ditty which I hope someone may read at the piss-up before they burn me. "I laugh at life, I laugh at death, The Reaper hasn't got me yet, But when at last you read these lines, I'll know that I have done my time, I want no grief I want no tears, Just sing the songs and drink the beer, My earthly body may be gone, But I'm still here, So PARTY ON !!!!" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: swirlygirl Date: 07 Apr 02 - 08:43 PM "Do I smell of garlic?" :) xxx
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Annraoi Date: 07 Apr 02 - 10:05 PM "I'M BAAAAACK!!!!!!!!" Annraoi :-))) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Ebbie Date: 08 Apr 02 - 12:31 AM In the words of MacArthur, "I Shall Return", but don't wait up. Eb |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: rube1 Date: 08 Apr 02 - 07:24 AM HOLIER THAN THOU |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: English Jon Date: 08 Apr 02 - 09:38 AM Somebody else's name. EJ |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: swirlygirl Date: 08 Apr 02 - 02:55 PM English Jon, you should just have a big superman "H"... :) xxx |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Amos Date: 08 Apr 02 - 03:24 PM BBW was wrestling with this question recently as part of a seminar exercise. She was getting all glum about it. I finally came up with a suggestion she could really smile at:
Her Magic is Still Working!Regards, A |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Triban Date: 08 Apr 02 - 03:43 PM The Anglo-Welsh author Caradoc Evans (1878-1945)has on his gravestone at Y Gors near Aberystwyth, an inscription of his own composition which reads: 'Bury me lightly that the small rain shall reach my face and the fluttering of the butterfly shall not escape my ear'. I'm not necessarily recommending it - just as a matter of interest. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 08 Apr 02 - 04:29 PM Don't blame me. I didn't ask to come here. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,savindwales Date: 08 Apr 02 - 04:36 PM i always liked an epitaph written by robert heinlein,"He ate what was put before him". |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,skippy Date: 08 Apr 02 - 04:42 PM "just what I expected, but not this soon!" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Lyle Date: 08 Apr 02 - 04:57 PM Don't have anything better than what has been suggested, BUT For those who want no part of any headstone, I would ask you to rethink your position. As an armature genealogist, the dates, names and locations of markers are very often an excellent place to start when little or no other information is available. And sometimes you become very important to later generations. Lyle |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Just Amy Date: 08 Apr 02 - 05:08 PM My English grandmother always said this headstone was real: "Wherever you be, let your wind blow free, for to keep in a fart, was the death of me." Eat, drink and be merry as long as oil remaineth in the lamp for who knows if in the other world there be a tavern. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: oombanjo Date: 08 Apr 02 - 05:21 PM I did not know your other half.BUT if he was a banjo player you could put (I hope there are banjo players in heaven?, if there is'nt, there is now.) Or if he had any attached parts, the epitaph could be. (RUST IN PEACE.) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Shonagh Date: 08 Apr 02 - 05:26 PM I once read this in a book. On headstone of a magician: Here today, gone tomorrow, Not one of his repeated tricks! Seriously tho, it isnt something that i have ever thot about. i hope i wont have to think about it for a good few years, since im only 16! scary thought tho, saying that a few of my close friends in the past few years have died in car crashes and meningitis. dont really want to think about it that much. i trust my family to find something nice to put on my headstone! maybe a fiddle or something?! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: The Walrus Date: 08 Apr 02 - 05:41 PM For my parents, I didn't really know what to put on their stone so I just added a statement that I believe to be true. REMEMBERED-THEY LIVE ON As for myself, I'll settle for NOT JUST ANOTHER SUBURBAN W*NKER Best Wishes Walrus |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,Uncle Frank Date: 09 Apr 02 - 12:42 AM On a sundial in a NJ cemetary: "Time flies, suns rise, and shadows fall." I've always liked that one. Nonetheless, my favorite is a poem by Walt Kelly, the genius who gave us Pogo Possum: The gentle journey jars to stop The drifting dream is done. The long gone goblins loom ahead, The deadly, that we thought were dead Stand waiting, every one. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 09 Apr 02 - 09:31 AM Per Banjoest's reference, the old English epitaph:
Behold, you see me as you pass by, As you are now, so once was I, As I am now, so you shall be, Prepare for Death and follow me. Cryptically cool. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Micca Date: 09 Apr 02 - 10:11 AM guest, and of course the Graffito that was appended " To follow you I am quite content but Im blowed if I know which way you went!" |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Shonagh Date: 09 Apr 02 - 01:32 PM Stop passenger as you pass by, As you are now so once was I, Remember man that you must lie, Remember man, that you must die. Saw it on a gravestone near my house. Quite similar to the one that "guest" knows. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 09 Apr 02 - 09:47 PM ...a personal favorite, from the fictitious(?) headstone of a fictitious(?) character in "Trout Fishing In America," by Richard Brautigan: "Sacred to the memory of John Brown, who got his ass shot off in a honky-tonk. This mason jar of wilted flowers was left here by his sister, who is in the crazy house now."* *(quoted from faulty memory) |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,long arm Date: 09 Apr 02 - 10:50 PM FRom the Fureys, "Our town was a real tough one and all the hard nuts were buried in one corner of the graveyard with headstones that readfor example" Who are you looking at then"!! My wife reckons that when she goes she wants'My turn for a lie-in'!! |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Charlie Baum Date: 10 Apr 02 - 02:07 AM I once wrote a condolence card to the widow of my former headmaster, who had often styled himself "Head Gardener".
I wrote an except from a poem: Next thing I knew, I received word that she had carved it on the stone as an epitaph. I had always wanted to be a published author, but carved in stone...! Gak. o if you're ever wondering about the creative epitaphs in a certain cemetery in Washington, Connecticut, there's one of the stories. --Charlie Baum |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Dave Bryant Date: 10 Apr 02 - 06:45 AM If I was planning to be interred (which I'm not) the thing which I would like most to have on my headstone is A BEER PUMP ! I used to have a book of epitaphs (entitled something like "A book of Grave Humour"). A couple of my favourites were a Mr Thorpe who had "THORPE'S CORPSE" on his tombstone and a village spinster/busybody of whom 'twas recorded something like: Here lie the bones of Elizabeth Dyas, Always noisy - very pious. She reached her three score years and ten, And gave to the worms what she'd kept from the men. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST Date: 11 Apr 02 - 01:18 AM My feet, on sleepless night's a reversal of bed positions assures a decent desent in the dessines of darkness releam. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Apr 02 - 01:14 PM Here are some more possibilities for what to put on your headstone... 1. "What are YOU lookin' at?" 2. "Your fly is open..." 3. "Out to lunch." 4. "Post no bills." 5. "George Washington didn't sleep here." 6. "78 miles to Schenectady." (alter distance as appropriate to your location...the humour in this is...who the hell wants to go to Shenectady?) 7. Mount a red button on the front (like a doorbell button), with a plaque below it saying "Don't Push This Button". When they do, a jet of water shoots out of a little nozzle mounted on the tombstone, and hits 'em in the face. The plaque then flips around to display the message "I TOLD You Not To Push It!" Whole device then resets itself, and waits for next visitor. - LH |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: mouldy Date: 12 Apr 02 - 02:43 AM Funnily enough, I was thinking about death etc. this morning, and decided I'm not afraid of it, but want to live as long as I can force my body to co-operate with some degree of dignity. "I wasn't ready!" will do me fine. To add to what John from Hull has posted re costs, I have just had the bill for adding my mum's name onto an already existing stone. Bearing in mind I went through the local undertaker who had dealt with it originally about 10 years ago at a cost then of about £560 (we live a long way from the cemetary, and it's in a little village), it has just cost me £470 to add my mum's details plus a one line verse (approx 60 characters in all) onto a square black stone. In some defence, it had to be removed, cleaned, carved (and they charge per letter - £1.10 10 years ago), regilded, redowelled, the site relevelled (it's on a hillside and had started to tilt) and a new base slab put in. Plus vat, and the churchyard fee. Andrea |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Mr Happy Date: 10 May 02 - 10:07 AM here's an inscription i read about somewhere 'here lies the body of elizabeth mann' who lived an old maid, and died an old mann' |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Joe_F Date: 10 May 02 - 07:13 PM Posterity will ne'er survey A nobler grave than this: Here lies the bones of Castlereagh: Stop, traveler, -----. -- Lord Byron, 1821 It would be worth being dead to have this written about you: Here lies Sir Jenkin Grout, who loved his friend, and persuaded his enemy; what his mouth ate, his hand paid for: what his servants robbed, he restored: if a woman gave him pleasure, he supported her in pain: he never forgot his children: and whoso touched his finger, drew after it his whole body. -- quoted by R. W. Emerson, 1841 |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: GUEST,WyoWoman at Work Date: 10 May 02 - 07:31 PM I like, "Return to Sender..." or "Over my dead .... Ohhp... Nivver mind ..." I want to be cremated and worked into a compost pile. Plant tomatoes, blackeyed peas and corn in what used to be me. Then let me be the salad bar at a great party next season ... "Mmmm, that's some saucy tomato..." What do I hope can honestly be said of me when I move on to the next great adventure? "She lightened our load ..." ww
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Hilary Date: 11 May 02 - 05:41 PM Not a serious answer : Martha snell, she's gone away, She would if she could - but she couldn't stay She'd two bad legs & a baddish cough But twas her legs what carried her off.
Here lies the body of Mary Charlotte Born a Virgin, died a harlot. Until 15 she kept her vignity, Which is a record for this 'ere vicinity. English John - you beat me to it with " somebody else's name" Hilary
|
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: Mark Clark Date: 11 May 02 - 07:23 PM I'd like mine to say: Born 1942 - Died 2092 I'm not going quietly. - Mark |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 11 May 02 - 08:21 PM Here's a part two for this thread. |
Subject: RE: BS: What would you want on your headstone? From: pict Date: 11 May 02 - 10:47 PM Don't step on the grass! |