BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: cowboypoet
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 06:30 PM

My mama's sister in West Virginia used to say that the snow was "a**hole deep to a ten-foot Indian." She was colorful.

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 07:00 PM

If yer aunt had b#$%*, she'd be yer uncle.

(my husband explains my presence on a farm call) I'd rather take her with me than kiss her goodbye.

Kids say "quit meddlin' with me" and it sounds like "quit smellin' me"

You carry someone home, but you tote the groceries in, or give someone a tote on the back of a bicycle.

You throw your hat in the door (and see if it comes back) before you enter.

You save your pennies for a rainy day, and itsa gwine a rain someday.

Wrestling matches are "wrasslin'"

When a sow is having trouble giving birth, she "can't find her pigs."

Green peas (English peas) are sugah peas.

And of course there is "swayt tea"

Try saying "dry ice" over and over.

I could go on...

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 07:05 PM

A supreme insult is to call someone a "pennybank rogue" meaning someone so low he would rob a kid's piggybank.

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: GUEST,Burke
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 07:10 PM

Instead of saying you're happy to be there, tell 'em, "I'm proud to be here."

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Morticia
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 07:13 PM

Actually a lot of these expressions are familiar to me and all my family is Irish.....wonder which way they travelled?

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Midchuck
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 07:34 PM

Uglier than death takin' a shit.

Crazier than a shithouse rat.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Mountain Dog
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 08:06 PM

He couldn't pour piss outen a boot if it had d'rections wrote down on the heel!

He's so common, his piss don't foam.

Busy'rn a man with two rattlesnakes an one hole t'put'em in!

Whattya cawl a redneck with a two-digit Ah Q? Gifted!

For a wonderful collection of such animadversions, be sure to check out a book compiled by H. Allen Smith entitled "Rude Jokes" and another, editor unknown, called "Pissin in the Snow: A Collection of Ozark Humor"

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Nancy King
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 08:07 PM

A friend of mine refers to ATF as the "Bureau of Redneck Fun."

I ain't had so much fun since the hogs ate Sister Bessie!

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: MarkS
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:43 PM

So bucktoothed he/she could eat an apple through a picket fence
So old he/she sat behind Jesus in the third grade
Dumb enough to put a stamp on an email
Ugly enough to scare the chrome off a bumper
So old he/she still owes Moses a quarter MarkS

Subject: RE: BS: Need to expand my 'Red Neck' Vocabulary
From: Dave Swan
Date: 19 Jan 01 - 09:46 PM

Hotter than a two dollar pistol.

Wound like a dollar watch.