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BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees!
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BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: GUEST,Russ Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:27 PM The ususal story here. Non-hugging family. Hugging is now one of my standard options for greeting people. I have tended to think of hugging as a "boomer" thing. I don't remember my parents and their peers doing much of it. I remember hugging more as something adults did with children. I usually hug only people I know. It is not my default greeting for first contact. But I don't hug everybody I know. Some people come across as more standoffish than others. The only realy dilemma I sometimes face is when to start hugging in the relationship. I try to err on the side of hugging. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: An Croenen Date: 08 Sep 02 - 06:31 PM I enjoy a good hug, but I rarely take the initiative for a hug, except with my kids. My friends will hug me mostly to say goodbye, rather than when we say hi. I will hug a friend in distress, but I worry about coming across as patronising and I'm really careful with it. Within my family it is not part of our body language, even in terrible situations where a hug could be ace. It surprises me that noone has mentioned the body-odour yet. To me, hugs can be great or awful because of how someone smells. I'm not even referring to perfume or sweat, just the natural smell of someone is so prominent in a hug. I read somewhere that we subconsciously check out other people's smell and prefer those people with the set of antibodies furtherst related from ours, in other words (if I'm saying this correctly) the ones that would produce the most resilient offspring. Innocent hugs, ha? Who were you fooling? ;) An |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:03 PM Well, dogs have different ways of communicating. We haven't got tails to wag, so we have to rely on smiling and that, and hand signals.
After all, as Chesterton pointed out:
They haven't got no noses,
And Quoodle here discloses |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: MMario Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:12 PM I give good hug - I like getting hugged - usually - sometimes - it depends. there are people I could hug for hours - there are others I don't weven want to touch. Some people I don't need to hug because just being around them is as good as the best hug. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: kendall Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:37 PM Don't worry Doug, I only hug people I know, and, the only republican I hug is my daughter! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: bbc Date: 08 Sep 02 - 08:45 PM kendall, I'm sorry to break this to you, but you've hugged me many times & I've been a Republican ever since I was old enough to vote! : ) love & hugs, bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: DougR Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:00 PM Hey, bbc! Good to see you are still around! I have a hunch Kendall rarely asks any woman what her politics is before he hugs them. He just likes to jab me. I don't know why, I'm always nice to him. DougR |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: kendall Date: 08 Sep 02 - 09:57 PM Not so Doug! Believe me, if I wanted to "jab" you, you would know it! LOL. bbc, sorry, I forgot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: katlaughing Date: 08 Sep 02 - 10:36 PM Kevin, I think a handshake is more like a tail wag with dogs, rather than sniffing the behind. That sniffing usually follows the nose touch, the tail wag, and the stiff legged tango..'course not always, depending on how the other |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:43 AM Aw, bbc!! Couldn' you wait until his spirits are up before you tell him he's been hugging REpublicans?? LOL!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: hesperis Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:21 AM I'm huggy, but not with some people... I detest those fake polite hugs that aren't really hugs... and the cheek-kissing thing freaks me out... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Sep 02 - 02:35 AM I come from a family that is so non tactile, I sometimes wonder how I was conceived! Even now, the most tactile contact I have is with a) my daughter and b) my best friend - but he's being a git at the moment and hasn't been round for months. Shame, because I love a good hug, and a snuggle from behind is even nicer.... Ah well.... perhaps I should get myself a koala - if I can find one that doesn't have halitosis, permanent eucalyptus body odour and that stoned expression.... Maybe I should rethink the Koala thing..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: JudeL Date: 09 Sep 02 - 06:55 AM All these people that come from non-hugging families, I didn't realise that families hugging was so unusual. I grew up in a family of confirmed huggers. To me, a hug is an expression of affection and fellowship. Intelectually I can understand how for someone that confuses a simple hug with sex the idea of hugging their parents or children must seem repulsive, but emotionally it must be very lonely. BTW Liz - you have my number, anytime you need a hug call me. Jude |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: SharonA Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:21 AM I, too, come from a non-hugging family. Most of the physical affection seemed to have been reserved for the cats! So I'm still not comfortable with hugs from anyone but an intimate partner (when I have one in my life!). I have a Quaker friend who always greets me with a hug and a kiss; I hug her back (uncomfortably) but I draw the line at kissing! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Rick Fielding Date: 09 Sep 02 - 10:28 AM I guess I've hugged: Republicans, Democrats and Naderites in the States. Progressive Conservatives, Liberals and NDPers here in Canada. Tories, Labour, Liberals and Raving Loonie Party-ites in England. I like to think that I'm an equal opportunity hugger. Cheers Rick
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: GUEST,bbc at work Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:00 PM Hey, kendall, I hope it was my political affiliation you forgot, rather than the hugs! I like to think they are somewhat memorable. ;) More seriously, I will hug almost anyone who acts like they need one or is open to receiving one. As far as I can tell, hardly any of us are getting as much physical contact as we need to be emotionally healthy. I'm willing to do my part! For the record, I came from a family w/ an affectionate mom & a reserved dad; I've been a toucher from Day 1. Yup, Doug, I'm still around & hoping you'll come by NY sometime, so I can hug another Republican! Amos, I just couldn't help myself! BTW--thread creep--I draw the line at kissing. I prefer to reserve that for family & SO, particularly lip-kissing. best, bbc |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Amos Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:08 PM Dang!! Another dream up in smoke!! LOL!! I unnerstand, bbw. Just funnin' witcha. A
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Art Thieme Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:21 PM Please see the "Rasmussen Regales Royal Rile" thread... Art Thieme |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:33 PM Interesting. Opposed to most of you, I come from a very touchy-feely family and as an adult I've had to learn to read the person so I didn't overdo it. Let's face it, some people just aren't into hugs. But I'm still touchy-feely and it's worked well in situations where it was not an accepted thing to do. For instance, you must be very careful how you express love if you're a foster parent....sounds a bit nuts, but it's letigious country. It didn't stop us, but it took some time with the kids for them to accept what we gave in the manner we meant it. The best experience came in teaching. I taught 16-19 year old males who had a hard time expressing caring type emotions even when they wanted to. I had them as juniors and a different teacher had them as seniors. I treated them as adults, he didn't. I was a teacher, but I was also their friend (who they often referred to as "Big Dog"). I got them used to the occasional hand on the shoulder and the generally touchy things like that along with the usual teen slap fight games. When the senior teacher had problems, the admin got used to calling me in to mediate until one day the Director saw it wasn't really working because they would cool down only for awhile. His line was, "Patterson comes in, puts his arm around a few shoulders, gets a few laughs, and all's right with the world." When that group graduated it was a high point of my life, a time you know you've had success. We had also spoken about how only a few simple words could express the way you felt as in the men saying good night to Mr. Roberts in the movie. I even showed them the movie! As they came across and received their diplomas, they shook hands as they were supposed to until they got to me. It actually took me a moment to figure out what was going on. They had it worked out though and each one gave me a hug (remember these are teen males in front of their peers) and said, "Good-bye Mr. P. and thanks....." Still can't think about that one without crying............. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: katlaughing Date: 09 Sep 02 - 12:52 PM Geez, Spaw...my keyboard is all wet. That's plumb beautiful. I'm glad to find I am not the only one who came from a family of huggers! Shoulda known! kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: An Croenen Date: 09 Sep 02 - 04:44 PM I visited the States when I was 12 and remember the very first hug I got, there (my mum had prepared me for this thing called hugging). In Belgium, people don't hug generally; they're more into kissing. So the first hug I got, in the States, I surprised the lady by kissing her (just out of habit, I'm afraid). And there are codes as to how many kisses you give depending on the social circles. In France it's very usual to give four kisses: 1-2-1-2. Belgians will give you three when you're friends, and perhaps one when it's family, unless you haven't seen eachother for a while. Funnily enough, I have noticed that people in England start with their first kiss on the cheek opposite to the one we pick first (which potentially leads to kissclashing :), and they only give two. Unless they hug. Arh all so confusing. My question is: is hugging not more commonly done in the States than in England? I just wondered. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:18 PM Then there's slapping people on they back and punching them in the stomach. When to punch and when to slap and when to hug and when to kiss...Life gets complicated. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:43 PM The kissing the air several inches away from the face is known in the UK as the 'Mayfiar Kiss' and is a term of affection guaranteed not to smudge make up or mess up hair. It is not to be confused with the 'Glasgae Kiss' which is guaranteed to smudge make up and mess up not only hair but quite often facial features as well. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Steve Latimer Date: 09 Sep 02 - 05:50 PM 'Spaw, great story. Unfortunately, teachers today (at least here) aren't allowed to make any physical contact with children. Liz, ah the Glasgae Kiss, that's almost another thread. (I've felt like giving it to some of the phonies who've laid a hug on me). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: GUEST,Lepus Rex, grr, cookie... Date: 10 Sep 02 - 01:00 AM I pretty much only hug my grandmothers, or very, very close friends, so, uh, I'm a non-hugger. I'll occasionally hug my mother, on mother-related holidays, and my niece, when I want to annoy her, or sometimes my aunt when she's in town on a rare visit. But otherwise, I try to keep hugging non-girlfriends to a minimum. Also, I dislike it when I'm eating in my car, in a parking lot, and some jackass pulls up next to me, to eat his meal. I mean, if I wanted to eat with cretins, I'd go inside. This may be related to the hugging thing, somehow... ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Rick Fielding Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:06 AM My friend Tam Kearney does "The Glasgow Kiss" to perfection! I run like hell when I see him!! Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: Huggers, Non-Huggers, and Huggees! From: Kim C Date: 10 Sep 02 - 03:52 PM Well, I'm a Libertarian and I'd probably hug Kendall too, just because I like him, all political stuff aside. Us Grandpa Jones fans gotta stick together, after all. ;-) I guess you could say I am a hugger by nature, although I don't really remember if it was a family thing or not. My brother is not so much a hugger. Mister is quite a hugger, because his dad never stopped hugging his sons just because they grew up. And he will hug his male friends that he knows really well. I mean, heck, if you hug everybody, it kind of loses its meaning. I have had strangers hug me before because they liked my singing. And I don't mind that. They are showing gratitude and that's all right with me. Some folks aren't huggers, and that's all right with me too. I am not a social kisser, however. There's maybe one or two people I would kiss on the cheek, outside of family, but not many. I personally don't mind being kissed myself, just don't expect me to return it. |