punch the horse june thread

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 10:57 AM

Hey Pete it sounds like she did hit a four!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 11:46 AM

lalalalalalalalalalala

(i didn't have anything interesting to say...)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 12:37 PM

well that was enthralling SF enthralling.......

Hows yer exams/belly for spots?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 01:17 PM

I have some important questions which must be answered!

What is the relationship between Oaklet and Oakley?

Where is Oakley?

Are there any monkeys on this thread?

If not, why?

Is it true that Englishmen always mount a bicycle from the left, and always push off first with the right foot?

How can I acquire a tandem unicycle?

Is there balm in Gilead?

I will be back in one hour, and I expect to get a full response to these important concerns of mine. Thank you very much.

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:13 PM

There is a relationship between Oakley and Oaklet. Mr Oakley had himself cloned in order to be at two places at the same time, notably PTH & Cara gigs & also to enable him to satisfy the desires of the Dagenham Girl Pipers...too many for one man.The clone is called Oaklet and the relationship is a dynamic one with the names being used reciprocally so that no-one knows who is the original and who is the clone which sort of defeats the object.
As to where he is......I don't know. I don't know the answers to your other questions either.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:19 PM

Oaklet is a version of Oakley but with added cheese and with extra wholesome grains. At the moment I am on the roof, watching for pandas with my aged hunting rifle and two of the DGPs who were rather taken with my performance yesterday and seem keen to stick around.

As I was by the men from B.A.R.T.O.N last night at Grimsby folk club. Well done Karen and Colin (It was Colin) Thompson.

Cheesy Bog Olives, anyone?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Willa
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:32 PM

J9On
Have you tried any cures for your hiccups?

I'm sure there'll be plenty of suggestions from your fellow 'catters (probably some involving honey and/or cinnamon!)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 02:40 PM

LH - I understand that an Oaklet is a little Oakley. And a little Oakley is more than enough for anyone. (You can get the Dagenham Girl Pipers to confirm that.)

I can usually tell where Oakley is, as the prevailing wind in this area wafts scents of Oakley over the intervening four or so miles. But the wind has shifted due west, so yer on yer own.

For your bicycle question, I can confirm that I am Englishman and operate my bicycle in that manner. Of course you'll need the views of the other 20-odd million of us to confirm your hypothosis.

It's often quite balmy in this thread, if that's any use.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 03:14 PM

Hear Hear!

Oaklet MSc
Fellow of the Royal Institute of British Food Hygienists.
Advisor on e-coli and related pathogens to the Royal Danish Court.
Dairy Farmer.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 03:39 PM

I thought that was supplying not advising oaklet?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 04:59 PM

pot.noodles.are.a.big.rip.off.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 05:46 PM

Well, we're getting somewhere now. I had strongly suspected that Oaklet was closely related to Oakley, and there you are. Fascinating. I wonder if Ms Penelope Rutledge is aware of the Dagenham Girl Pipers episode? If so, there could be trouble, but I think she is in any case very distracted right now with the Malcolm Buggerol scandal which has all of Twillingsgate in a ferment, so I hear. She is attempting to gain protective custody of the sheep, Millie...Buggerol's pet/companion/muse...or whatever. It's a very B-a-a-a-a-d business indeed.

I'm glad we're making progress on the important matter of how an Englishman mounts his bicycle. I am quite excited that my theory is now 1/20 millionth of the way toward complete empirical confirmation, and I eagerly await the arrival of further evidence to support it.

The tandem unicycle remains an elusive item, but I have hopes that one may be located in Australia at any time.

I will check in again in a while and see how it's going.

Cheerio!

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 07:09 PM

I suggest you question the DGP's as to how an englishman mounts his bicycle. Apparently there's a couple of them so wowed by Oaklet's (or was it Oakley's)prowess that they have stayed in merry Ferriby.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 09:11 PM

I'm still flummoxed by the NEUTICLES thingy. In fact, I think I'll go post something about it over on the "Mother of All BS Threads" and see if we can get a few more good flummoxes out of it.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 03 - 11:33 PM

I have heard that the incidence of perversion and sexual deviance is higher in South Ferriby than anywhere else in the entire English-speaking World! This worries me, because I am afraid that Oakley (or Oaklet) might be in some danger of losing his moral purity or being accosted in some way that might be deemed offensive and cause an upset to his state of mind that could only be cured through years and years of frightfully expensive counseling.

Perhaps he should move to a much safer place, such as my hometown of Orillia, Ontario, Canada (the "city that never wakes"). It's a nice, decent place in which to bring up your kids, eh?

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 04:50 AM

Dear Little Hawk

SSSSSSSsssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (I'm a counsellor!)I'll let you now when he's safe enough to be able to take your advice. But I fear that he would fret about his cows, the Ice breaker would be useful though (I guess).

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 05:31 AM

I have it on good authority (the South Ferriby Sluice Re-boring and Bittern Tagging Authority) that the incidence of perversion and sexual deviance in Merry South Ferriby, which is higher than anywhere else in the entire English-speaking World, would tend towards zero were Oaklet and Oaklet to decamp to Orilia.

Make of it what you will.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:00 AM

I also have it on good authority (the South Ferriby Straw Stocking Knitters Association) that the social life in said South Ferriby would be reduced to the pre Oaklet past-times of communal mud sifting and grass counting. Apparently there is only one person who is nostalgic for those good old days.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,Jon
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:30 AM

Sorry for the Norwich interruption but...

Here you go Greg.

We have found a landlord who seems really keen on live music and even has a PEL!!! The pub is "The Nelson" on Nelson St.

We met on a Monday (a bad night for some of us) this week but are moving to a Thursday with possible alternation with Wednesday before hopefully settling in on the Wednesday night. He's trying to work around existing darts fixtures at the moment but appears to like us and wants to give us a good regular home.

The same pub already has a regular session on the Tuesday night. As far as I understand it, it is mostly students from the UEA and may (or may not) be a bit of a begginners session at times. I spoke to Bill (the organiser) last night and he said he's quite happy having others dropping in and joining in so if you fancy a meet and giving it a whirl, let me know and I'll get down there.

Jon

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:27 AM

Great, Jon, lets talk about this at your place.

Over and out

Greg

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:43 AM

I have been talking to the South Merry Ferriby Reed Flagellant Society & they say they would miss Oakley/Oaklet terribly as his tireless crusade to promote the art of flagellation has increased their membership a thousand-fold.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: KJ
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 09:47 AM

Where are PTH gigging in the merry month of June apart from Beverley?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 10:57 AM

Hmmm.... Oakley/Oaklet. Is that like Victor/Victoria?
Anything you wish to share, Oaklet dear?

Sireen

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 11:18 AM

KJ-13th=Hope&Anchor,SFerriby
14th=Hessle
14th=Roos
20th-Beverley
28th=Hull

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:17 PM

JFH - Pot noodles are not a rip off and are good for you...i am proff of that...
SP - i only have 4 exams left, toady went ok. I aced english on monday though. But why did you ask about spots on my belly? as far as i can see i don't have any spots on my belly!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:32 PM

Its an owld North Easter saying my dear Hows your belly for spots = I hope you are in fine fettle (or good heath).

Where abouts in Hessle are Punch playing on 14th and how are they managing to be in Roos at the same time?????????

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:39 PM

Am I to understand that South Ferriby is a rural, bucolic, sparsely-populated area then? What should an international traveller expect to see upon entering the environs of South Ferriby?

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:45 PM

smallpipes-Hessle,isan,afternoon,wedding,and,Roos,is,an,evening,party.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:56 PM

There has been a slight misunderstanding as to were we are playing in June Karen.

The 13th June gig at South Ferriby is cancelled

There are two gigs on saturday 14th, one in Hessle int arternnon (wedding) one in Roos int evening (fund raiser)

The 20th June is in the "Sun " beverley fri night (start of festival)- with the lovely Nikki - so Oakley is not doing long distant playing between there and the "Moulders Arms"

And the Saturday 28th of June at the "Durty Nellies" in Hull.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Bassic
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 12:59 PM

Its Chris and Clares wedding SP (late afternoon)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 01:02 PM

It is.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:00 PM

What should an international traveller expect to see upon entering the environs of South Ferriby?
Largely, the enticing brown waters (too thick to drink, too thin to plough?) of the River Humber, (liberally sprinkled with Sireen and the odd supermarket trolley), Oaklet's herd of prize bitterns, and of course, the lovely Mrs Drinkall at no 21.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:03 PM

Little Hawk.

This is the view from my roof, where I often sit with my hunting rifle. The small factory at the West end is Mr Benson's Tripe works. http://atschool.eduweb.co.uk/nelthorp/room8/intra/geograph/humberside/sferriby/pages/South%20Ferriby%201_jpg.htm

Hope you like it.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM

And if you click here, you can see my living room window.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:54 PM

Wow. Lotta brick buildings. That is one ugly river, man, but it's got an impressive bridge. It looks like you've got some lovely forest areas around South Ferriby. I note that there is a little marina alongside the river, with nice blue water in it, and I wonder if the "Penelope R." is tied up there? I remember hearing about that boat way back when.

I am rather taken with the lovely Mrs Drinkall. She has a very fetching manner. I intend to drop in at # 21 when I visit.

Where is Mr Drinkall these days?

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:55 PM

Little Hawk,
Treat with care these disingenious photographs taken from great distances, they do not reveal the signs with the legend ........."HERE BE DRAGONS"

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:57 PM

The rivers of blood speech comes to mind, Les

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 04:09 PM

LH - that Marina is just outside the afore-mentioned living room window. Can't see your boat though.

The ugly brown river consists not of blood but of tiny bits of England on their way to become the Netherlands. Those bits get an earlier use of the Euro. And it also displays that Yorkshire and Lincolnshire are among our more adventurous counties.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 06:11 PM

heloo.john

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:12 PM

Hey Noreen that there picture of the Humber bridge well you see that little white dot just to the right of the north tower (thats the one furthest from the camera) well thats my house!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 08:57 PM

Oooo! I'll drop in next time I'm on the bridge :0)

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,kj
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:11 AM

Check this out: Horseballs

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,Kj
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:13 AM

Ha, bet you all thought it was something naughty!!! I'm at the factory & really, really bored.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:16 AM

HARD TIMES FALL UPON ROCKING HORSE IN NORWAY

FREDRIKSTAD, Norway - I shudder to think of what two thieves had on their minds when they maliciously tore the three foot penis off of Norway's largest rocking horse. The giant toy reportedly was stripped of its manhood at its home, a scout camp in Fredrikstad. Police are still searching the area for two men that were said to have been acting suspiciously in the area. The masculine horse, which was formerly known as Baldor, has since been give the female name Haldis since its unfortunate castration.

It was Colin Thompson!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 01:55 AM

No, no, no, it was Oakley, he's getting bored of using reeds for the flagellation.

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 02:06 AM

Either that, or he feels his own equipment is not quite large enough or durable enough to satisfy the entire troupe of the Dagenham Girl Pipers for more than a rather short time. My own experience of lusty young women on the make suggests to me that even one of them is enough to reduce the average man to a worn-out husk in a relatively short time (like a few weeks or perhaps months in some cases), so think what a whole band of them could do!

I can think of no other good reason for stealing a 3 foot wooden penis off a rocking horse...and no sane reason at all, for that matter.

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 04:41 AM

pooor horse......i still have my rocking horse from when i was a wee baby. but mine is missing its other tail!!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 04:47 AM

Its My Birth Day A Week Toady...Getting Excited Already...

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 05:05 AM

Awwwwwwwwwwwww sweet sixteen at last eh! A momentous day sees the end of your exams as well?

Subject: RE: punch the horse june thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 08:35 AM

Call me silly but I couldn't resist the 100th post to this thread - is there a prize?