BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 07 - 06:58 PM

Tami,
If anyone but you had done that I would have had a holy shit fit.
101

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Dec 07 - 07:04 PM

Checklist
Tire iron: check
Charged cell phone: check
Sense of Humor, intact: check

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: skipy
Date: 03 Dec 07 - 08:04 PM

Ranger 1, well done for the 100! Sence of humour still in place, that's a really good sign!
More hugs to you both!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Leadfingers
Date: 03 Dec 07 - 08:17 PM

There are some threads that even the dread Lead wouldnt be too light hearted about ! STILL sending Vibes !!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 08:18 AM

Good morning, Wonder Women Tami and Diane! I'll keep you in mind all day as we dig out from the snow. I look forward to seeing you back home soon.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 04:07 PM

Lots of good thoughts still coming Tami. We'll be glad when you're safely back home though.

Seamus sends a tail wag.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 05:39 PM

Did you get out before the rain & flooding, Tami?

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 05:42 PM

(Washington and that county got WAY too much rain yesterday)

http://www.co.snohomish.wa.us/PWApp/roads/emclosure/index.html

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 07:39 PM

Pullllllllllllllllling you hooooooooommmme.............

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 07:42 PM

Heave away, haul away home...

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: skipy
Date: 04 Dec 07 - 08:01 PM

We are still watching over you as best we can.
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 06:30 AM

You'll be home soon, friends. What a joyful Christmas you and we will have!

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: ranger1
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 09:15 AM

Thanks for the continuing good thoughts and cyber-hugs. Needed them badly yesterday. It seems that, in the state of Washington, if you have once given someone permission to drive your vehicle, even if only for a day, and even if you have revoked that permission, then it cannot be reported as stolen, nor is it a criminal matter, but is instead a civil matter. The detective that dealt with us at Snohomish County SD yesterday was rude, unhelpful and downright hostile. Our advocate received the same treatment when she called. Also, can't report anything to the state police out here because they are just glorified traffic cops. Nice, helpful, and polite, but couldn't help us.

Oh, and Rap, we have the paperwork for lost/missing/stolen passport. That will be filled out soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Maryrrf
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 10:03 AM

Good lord how insane is that! So if I have at some time given someone permission to drive my car, and then they decide to come in the middle of the night and drive it away without my permission I'm just up the creek !??? Sounds like Washington state will just have to be written off as a nightmare and I'm sure you AND your mom will be glad to be out of there!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 10:17 AM

Thanks for the continuing good thoughts and cyber-hugs. Needed them badly yesterday.

Tami, I know all of that is very wearing, and right now it probably seems like a huge thing occupying the entire forefront of reality. But know that soon, when you are back home and in the midst of an excellent support system "with skin on," all those worries will seem much, much smaller. Keep your chin pointed in that direction-- you're almost there. It's all there, waiting for you.... where things make sense, and fit right, and feel right-- that life you've made, remember? :~)

Turning up the homing beacon: Come on, Tami......

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Janie
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 12:01 PM

Here are some more hugs, good thoughts and - oh yeh! a couple of waders and rainslickers!

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 12:04 PM

Well, yeah... I figured it would be a civil matter as it would be in Virginia, as well... Civil processes are notoriously slow, costly and in the end you may (or may not) get a judgement and/or possession of property...

You need to talk with a bondsman... (Bondsman, Bobert???) Yeah, bondsmen deal with the slimiest of the slime and the folks who work for bondsmen are just a cut above (sometimes not) above the slime that they have to go round up when the slimiest don't show in court... Sometimes these folks will all but kidnap the slimiest the night before trials or hearings to protect their boss's "investment"... Anyway, these folks are tougher than the repo man and do things that repo men won't...

Think about it this way... A civil preceeding can cost you a couple grand ($$$$$$) and up to 6 months of hearings, postpostments, trials, depositions, etc... Now you might find a bondsman who would take $500 to deliver the car back to you... Just be sure to have clear title to show him before asking for his help...

And guess what??? Once you have the car in your possession it now become a civil matter for Mr. Creepo to try to get it back... Not criminal... It's kinda like custody of kids when a court ordered joint custody is ordered... Possession is 9/10's of the law...

Run this by your advocate...

BTW, I wasn't born knowing this stuff... Working as a jail house teacher, a drug rahb couselor and a social worker for 20 years taught me alot about how sneeky people operate and how to deal with them...

Hang in there, play smart and my most positive thoughts are with you...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: katlaughing
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 01:18 PM

If at all possible I would say let the car go...just another connection to the abuser which could prolong disengaging and being done with that whole situation.

Lot of love and hugs and thanks givings coming from here, Tami and mum.

luvyabucketskat

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 01:43 PM

I was in a relationship for 4 plus years, only towards the end was I abused, and the very end totally abused and violated, I also had very sentimental things stolen from me, plus money and other immaterial things. In the end you just have to let things go, you can replace material things, although the sentimental things are irreplaceable, but your moms safety is more important than anything and you are a great daughter, just stick in there together and good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 02:12 PM

I too have let so much go. My sanity demanded it. But my therapist said I should go after the stuff - for my sanity and self respect. You have to decide for yourself. I have never given any of it another thought.
M

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 05:11 PM

Hey there, Bright Beacons of Good Sense, I hope today has gone more smoothly for you than yesterday did. It did occur to me that hereabouts we have a wicked good assortment of decent used cars. We can always find a car here at home...one that works right; none of that West Coast flooded cultch!

Love,

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: GUEST
Date: 05 Dec 07 - 06:12 PM

Okay, seems that their are 2 schools of thought here... Go for the car and...

...Don't go for the car...

I'd look at purely from a business viewpoint... If it's a $500 car and it's gonna cost you $500 to *maybe* retrieve it then forget it... If it's a $20,000 car and it's gonna cost you the same $500 to get it back, I think the risk is worth it...

There is one other consideration and that is insurance... Should you decide to not pursue getting it back, unless el-Creepo is willing to either insure it or take legal possession of it, ***you*** will have to maintain liability insurance on it since ***you*** still legally onw in and if el-Creepo runs into a school bus they will be coming after ***you*** as the owner of the car...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Maryrrf
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 11:09 AM

The point about insurance IS a good one - whoever is listed as the owner of the car could be liable in case of an accident. What a discouraging situation. But again, to be alive, a long distance away from the lunatic, with a chance to be safe and start over - well that's the important thing

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 11:49 AM

I hope you'll have a chance to check in today, Bright Ones of the Morning. We're all still standing firm on your behalf. We're looking forward to seeing the two of yez home, safe and sound.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: ranger1
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 12:12 PM

Good morning all you lovely Mudcat people! We've slept on the car issue, Mum's going to ruminate on it today and decide later what to do about it later. Me, I'm just counting days until I get home to my man, my dog and The Stupid Cat. Mum's still upset about the cat, but has realized that she cannot go back to the house for him. I think he'll be fine, and the former landlady has promised to leave food out for him.

Thanks again for all the support.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 12:17 PM

Thanks for your update, Tami. We'll be here.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 01:46 PM

Thanks for the update, Tami.

Please tell your mom I *see* her kitty surrounded by Light, safe and fed, perhaps even led to a new home.

Thirty years ago, when my last child was but two weeks old, I had to drive away from two cats I couldn't catch when we were moving. They had been drifting away for several months before, but it was still one of the hardest and saddest things I've ever done. I guess it's probably why I am so protective of them all now.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 01:47 PM

I once had to pay back takes on a car I hadn't seen for 10-15 years when I tried to sell my Mother's house, as my ex-wife had simply allowed it (the car) to sit in a field, and the county placed a lien on any preperty I had my name on to collect taxes on a dead car. Laws differ in various states, but it is well to know the rules.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 02:03 PM

Cats have an amazing capacity for themselves. He'll make sure one or more people "feel sorry for him"....... and if a former landlady is looking out for him all should be well.

With regard to the car - I lie in the bath and mull things over when I have a problem -it works a treat.

Take care
Jean

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Dec 07 - 09:08 PM

The best place from which to think about the car will be HOME. Come on, Tami, come on, Tami's mom....... race Donder and Blitzen to the rooftops! :~)

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 06:59 AM

Mother and Daughter
(To the tune of "Brightest and Best" as given by oor Jean, KT, with apologies as needed!)

Rise up, good friends, time to pack for the airplane
Soon you'll be home where you've wanted to be.
More than a car is the worth you've been given;
Soon will the Light bring you home safe and free!

Chorus: Brightest and Best: you're the ones friends are waiting for
       Brave are your hearts, and determined and strong!
       Now is the time to return to your loved ones.
       Rich are your futures; in Maine you belong!

Mother and daughter, together you've battled
Evil and ignorance, pain, grief, and fear.
Now is the time to return to your future;
Family and friends who do hold you so dear!

Closer you come to your home near the ocean
Homeward you travel with stories enough.
Soon we shall sing of your battle victorious
Thanks be for laughter, and love from above!
*******

Come home.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 08:24 AM

Hey Tami - we have our own set of troubles requiring your attention here in Maine. Get the hell home!
Screw the motivational support crap!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:12 AM

Sinsull, could you perhaps be more clear regarding your intent? Tami might have trouble understanding your delicate meaning.

Regards,

maeve



Hee, hee, hee!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:20 AM

I emailed Tami this morning to bring her up to date.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: maeve
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:22 AM

Good, Jacqui. Thanks for letting us know. Another practical task accomplished!

Love,

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Tinker
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 09:37 AM

See Tami, the hordes are getting restless and mis-behaving without your refining influence.....

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: ranger1
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 10:40 AM

SINSULL has been keeping me up to date on Kendall the whole time, so I knew what that post was all about. By this time tomorrow, I'll be on the plane and on my way home. Thanks for the support, everyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:05 PM

Shining a little light on that path to home.... THERE. Like a runway at night, no matter the fog or stormy weather.


~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:12 PM

Salt would be more practical, Susan. We just had a storm.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:15 PM

No, the path to taking OFF-- to getting to the airport and getting on the plane. (The next 24 hours.) I assumed that the arrival airport will take care of their own lights, salt, etc.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:17 PM

Never assume...

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: wysiwyg
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 12:25 PM

OK, but you'll have to take care of the salt, as it is a 3-D item I cannot whizz up from here. :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: SINSULL
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 02:44 PM

Please don't throw out openings like that. NO! I WON'T! I WON'T! I WON'T!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: ranger1
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 11:46 PM

This is my last post from WA. Leaving before the crack of dawn and won't have computer access again until Sunday PM at the earliest.

Thanks seems kind of inadequate for all the support and help that we've received. For those of you most responsible for getting us home (and you know who you are), thank you so much my friends. I love each and every one of you.

Tami

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Dec 07 - 11:56 PM

Good! Sleep well and fare safe on your journey home.


{{{{{{{{{TAMI & MUM}}}}}}}}}}}}

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 12:59 AM

I'm looking forward to your next post Tami. wishing you both have a good trip back.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Janie
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 01:34 AM

Good!

Tough job. Well done!

Hugs to both of you.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Jeri
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 08:36 AM

Mary, thank you for not taking the p...
Nevermind. It's just that I also had to hold it in.

Whenever you both get to see this: WELCOME HOME!

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: Maryrrf
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 11:22 AM

I will be glad when you post that you and your mom are home safely. The GOOD thing about this is that there is an enormous distance between the lunatic and your mom - and in Maine she is surrounded by a wonderful support system. Thank heavens for that. Never mind the material things - they can and will be replaced in time.

Subject: RE: BS: Domestic abuse/good thoughts needed
From: GUEST,Julia
Date: 08 Dec 07 - 09:48 PM

WOW! Tami , you are made of stern stuff- as you know we have always said we'd take you with us anytime! Your mom is a lucky woman-A greater love hath no daughter.
Can't wait to hear about the homecoming celebration.

Blessings and Light surround you both.

LOL Julia & Fred