BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:01 AM

* A caller on Bushnell Road reported that someone had left two strange dogs in her garage. Moreover, someone had broken into her house, and taken some water bowls out to the garage for the dogs. She called back later to say that the dogs were put there by a friend, and she requested that the deputies cancel their response.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM

It was a quiet week in Rochester NH...

Wednesday, July 8

8:52 a.m. — The Department of Health & Human Services has a "loud and disruptive" client.
10:23 a.m. — A no trespass order is issued to a loud and disruptive patron at the library.
12:28 p.m. — The dark void of Chaos looms closer and closer — there's a rumpus in front of the station ...
12:28 p.m. — ... while at Adrien Circle a window's shot out, bringing old folks both grief and vexation.
2:52 p.m. — In a case of road rage and then some, a motorist reports someone followed him to the Washington Shell station, and smashed his windshield, before driving back onto the turnpike.
8:56 p.m. — Fireworks woosh and splutter on Lowell Street.
10:11 p.m. — Fireworks on Congress Street are complemented by yelling and screaming.
10:33 p.m. — On Heaton Street, a man and a woman push each other, as police log friends do when they have a disagreement.


Thursday, July 9

7:34 a.m. — On Twombley Street a driver is approached by a lady in a gray hoodie and asked for money. She is no nun.
1:30 p.m. — The intermittent sounds of screaming and fighting waft along Ledgeview Drive.
2:18 p.m. — There is a screaming encore on Ledgeview Drive
9:04 p.m. — A red go-cart has been zooming around Kodiak Court for awhile.
9:26 p.m. — A man with a white bandanna over his face takes off with a 12-pack of Bud from Cumby's on Milton Road.
9:58 p.m. — Jacob D. King, 26, of 12 Maple St. is charged with unauthorized use of a propelled vehicle.

Friday, July 10

4:35 p.m. — The go-cart is baaack at Kodiak Court.
6:05 p.m. — A Portland Street resident says pictures are being vibrated off her wall by a neighbor's loud music.
9:22 p.m. — Fireworks pop on Soapstone Lane.
9:45 p.m. — A damned inferno of a party penetrates half a mile of woods to annoy folks on Salmon Falls Road. Police warn the revelers.

Saturday, July 11
9:48 a.m. — In the Walmart parking lot, on the food side, there is a report of a pooch that is "possibly in distress" in a car. Police make contact with the owner and find it is not a hotdog.
10:59 a.m. — A Franklin Street woman reports an ex has taken her tools from her car. Fifteen minutes later he brings them back.
11:31 a.m. — At the station, a man reports that a neighbor may "possibly be threatening his life." Police provide an escort, suspicion dissolves, and the neighbors become friends.
5:40 p.m. — Blinded by road rage, someone follows a Ten Rod Road resident home, and hurls names at the man in his driveway.
8:43 p.m. — Music is pounding from a house on Winter Street. Even the dispatcher can hear it.
9:38 p.m. — There is a brouhaha on Chestnut Street involving 20 people, which features yelling and an older man bleeding from the head. Police warn all parties involved.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man said his neighbors were smoking something on their back porch and it was not tobacco. He believed it was marijuana.

* Two women were warned for fighting in the parking lot of a bar in the Barmuda Triangle at around 2:30 a.m.

* * A unicycle was found in an aspen grove on North Fourth Avenue and turned into police.
[Well, there it is, the unicycle I turned in... I hope the owner gets it back.]

* There was a chicken in front of a building on East Main Street around 8 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* Around 1:30 a.m., a caller said a wedding across from her home on Norris Road was too loud and "she just wants sleep."

* A man said someone was shooting at him from a residence near Dry Creek School Road around noon.

* A tire rim was stolen off a horse trailer while it was parked on Tag Along Road.

* A caller said he was "tired of dealing with his neighbor's loud remote-control car" and wanted to know what his options were.

* A man was walking along Interstate 90 around 10:30 p.m. with his hands in the air.

The Montana State University Police reports for Sunday included the following:

* A woman reported that a group of women took her towel while she was in the shower in Johnstone Hall.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 11:40 AM

What could possess a unicycle to make it turn into police? Surely that is not a karmic upgrade? To fall so far, when so close to circular perfection?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:59 PM

One finger salute.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Amos
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 03:23 PM

He should have known better than to mess with a female officer that way. Improper hand signal, indeed!! LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: gnu
Date: 04 Aug 09 - 05:43 PM

You mean, maybe he was making a pass, A?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 05 Aug 09 - 10:02 AM

* A cyclist was warned for not using his headlight, which was on his head.

* A store on South 23rd Avenue received a counterfeit $10 bill from some kids who said they got it from a fast food restaurant.

* A ladder was causing a traffic hazard in the middle of Interstate 90.

* Deputies responding to a 911 hang up call found a couple upset about the health of their pet. The woman said she had misdialed when she was trying to call Montana State University.

* A bird was stuck in the chimney of a home on Little Coyote Road.

* A bear was feeding off a dead deer, causing a traffic jam on Gallatin Road around 8:30 p.m.

* A man was warned for tailgating a deputy on Interstate 90.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 06 Aug 09 - 10:19 AM

* There were "a lot of people walking around ... tapping on windows" in the area of South Sixth Avenue and West Hayes Street around 2 a.m.

* Two men were arrested for criminal mischief and public nuisance after they were reported taking things out of people's yards and throwing them into the street.

* A very intoxicated man was in the driveway of a business on North Seventh Avenue with "his pants down around his knees" around 10 a.m.

* A man was making harassing calls to employees at a store on South 23rd Avenue telling them they needed to wear bullet-proof vests.

* Potted plants were stolen off a porch on Cascade Street.

* A driver who was reportedly ramming a woman's vehicle with his and honking at her in a fast-food drive through fled when police confronted him.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

* A deputy stopped a vehicle at the intersection of West Main Street and 19th Avenue when the driver made an illegal turn. The occupants were from out of town and were trying to find the hospital because one of their daughters was sick. The deputy led the family to the hospital and alerted the emergency room they were on their way.

* Two women in bikinis were cited for disorderly conduct after they admitted that they mooned a driver passing by the Erwin Bridge Fishing Access.

* A man told a deputy that the owner of a tattoo shop hit him when he confronted him about sending the man's girlfriend images of his "body parts." The case is under investigation.

* A caller said neighbors had a really big party at their home last week and now there is a "really bad dead animal smell" coming from the house.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:17 AM

* What was reported as threats on East Mendenhall Street around 2 a.m., were "little more than people yelling at each other on their way home from the bar," an officer said.

* A woman was concerned about a man who was taking pictures of her and her vehicle while she was in a store around 12:30 p.m. The man was doing a site evaluation.

* * A man paid $11 to use the Bogert Park Pool around 3 p.m., and when the pool was closed shortly thereafter, employees would not refund his money.

* A 19-year-old and a juvenile were cited for shoplifting after a store employee reported that they were sitting outside at a table with the stolen items.

* A 2-year-old locked her mother out of the car and a wrecker driver helped the mother get back in.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Wednesday included the following:

* Residents of Cougar Drive apologized to a deputy who went to their home because of a loud party complaint around 1 a.m. They also agreed to quiet down.

* A deputy unsuccessfully tried to help a driver get his overheated car going again on Interstate 90 but instead gave the man a ride to work around 7 a.m.

* A hitchhiker was "going crazy yelling at cars" traveling on Interstate 90 around 2 p.m.

* A boy claimed that a woman flipped him off as he drove a riding mower by her. The woman denied the accusation and threatened to file a harassment lawsuit against the boy's parents.

* Searchers found a 3-year-old boy sleeping underneath a pile of large pillows in his parents' bedroom after his mother called 911 saying he'd been missing for about a half hour. Gallatin County deputies, members of the county search and rescue team, Sourdough Fire Department, AMR and volunteers had searched the home three or four times before finding the boy who was "well-rested and OK," according to a press statement.

(All's well that ends well).

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 08 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM

* A young woman was knocking over garbage cans downtown and was arrested for disorderly conduct as well as resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. After she was detained, police also found pot in her purse.

* A skateboarder was warned for riding at night with no front or rear lights.

* Police came across a lost and drunk man with no shirt.

* Bullet holes were found in the garage behind a church. The reporting party believed the shots may have come from a nearby field where someone was shooting at gophers.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* A woman received a call from somebody saying she had won a sweepstakes and needed her date of birth and credit card number to claim the prize. The woman questioned the caller who became angry and hung up.

* Deputies spoke to a driver about flipping off the man he was riding with.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 09 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM

* Apparently too drunk to walk home, a man was given a ride by police.

* Two people stranded in the rain were given a ride to a bar.

(Our police seem to taxi a lot of drinkers around town).

* A duck appeared to have a hook and fishing bobby stuck to its body in the Bozeman duck pond. They were both removed and the duck seemed be fine.

* A man was warned for fighting with a bouncer on East Main Street.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 09 Aug 09 - 12:34 PM

Rochester (NH) Times

Sunday, July 12

1:27 a.m. — On Gagne Street, a lady and gentleman are screaming at each other in the roadway. They tell police they were arguing over their relationship.
9:17 a.m. — A churchgoer notices that the giant sneaker sculpture at GMC Financial has been stolen.
Monday, July 13

12:16 a.m. — Half a dozen people are blasting music on Lafayette Street near Blair Park. That's not Blare Park, folks.
10:43 a.m. — A D'Amours Avenue lady reports someone has been posting things about her on the Internet.
12:33 p.m. — A man peering through binoculars at the Common arouses suspicion, but he is just killing time waiting on a prescription.
4:22 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports that she fears the person to whom she lent a log splitter has sold it.
8:20 p.m. — A Lafayette Street man says his brother is drunk and making a fool of himself.
10:16 p.m. — Men from Congress and from Myrtle into noisy battle hurtle; lance and mace and sword they tether, and clash by bashing chests together.
Tuesday, July 14

1:37 a.m. — A man sings at the top of his voice in Care Pharmacy parking lot.
8:14 a.m. — A lawn ornament in the form of a black, white and red jockey has galloped away from Trade Wind Lane
Wednesday, July 15

7:08 p.m. — Two ladies on Lafayette Street are missing their cats and think they see them in an apartment window. They would like help to get them back.
9:12 p.m. — After a co-ed fight on Academy Street a tattooed, shirtless man in shorts heads out.
Thursday, July 16

6:58 p.m. — Back at the Babe Ruth field, two 4-wheelers are roaring around at great speed and causing disruption.
Friday, July 17

1:25 a.m. — A man, allegedly drunk, bicycles down River Street.
5:40 a.m. — Noisemakers, possibly honing chest bashing skills, are warned on Congress Street.
9:15 p.m. — An East Rochester man makes a flurry of 911 calls, peppered with swear words, about punks milling outside.
11:19 p.m. — On Lafayette, two ladies fight, one is black and one is white; and while the air is turning blue, a little boy gets caught up, too.
Saturday, July 18

2:57 p.m. — On North Main Street a neighbor blasting a TV reacts to stomping by stomping back. Police give him a warning
Sunday, July 19
6:12 p.m. — A man at the Bank of America ATM says the man behind him was honking and waving a pipe — and not a peace pipe.
Monday, July 20

12:06 a.m. — A man who borrowed a bike to go to Cumby's on Knight Street emerges to find it gone.
3:48 p.m. — On Walnut Street, a man with the obligatory no shirt talks to himself and then beats up on a Foster's machine. Hey!
8:56 p.m. — It is reported that a man is driving very slowly and stopping at green lights. Now he is driving in circles in the Lilac Mall parking lot. Police find he is neither drunk, nor geographically challenged — just very elderly.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: gnu
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:26 AM

Body Found Today the Police found an unidentified man's body in a park nearby. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick. Are You Okay??

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 09:42 AM

* A Lindley Place resident came home around 8 p.m. and found a 51-year-old woman sleeping in her bed and wearing her pajamas. The woman was cited for trespassing.

* A woman reported her cell phone was stolen. She had asked that the phone be shipped to her, and when it didn't arrive, she called the number. A man texted her back and said he stole it from the post office.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: GUEST,MikeK
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:33 PM

From The Hamilton (Ontario, Canada) Spectator "Police Blotter" article of August 11, 2009:

"Aug. 7, 2009 – Patrol officers approached three men on the corner of Ferguson [Avenue] and Barton [Street] at 3 p.m. One man was smoking a marijuana cigarette. The man was searched and found to be in possession of a stolen bicycle, numerous bike locks, burglary tools and a small amount of marijuana. The 53-year-old man from Hamilton is charged with possession of marijuana, possession of burglary tools and possession of stolen property."

Just what was he wearing???

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: LilyFestre
Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:45 PM

Recently a guy in a nearby village decided he was going to rob the bank. He went to the bank with his gun and had a ski mask on at noon. He reached to open the door and found it locked. The bank was closed during the lunch hour. The folks inside, however, got a look at his vehicle and plate number and now the man is going to jail for (I believe) 6 years. Six years for TRYING to rob a bank and never even got his foot in the door. ROFL. True story!

Michelle

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:45 AM

Police showed up to break up a fight but found that everybody had left. Two beer bottles were found at the scene as well as a heavy duty staple gun, which was entered into evidence.

After engaging in a short chase with deputies, a man was found to be driving with a suspended license and had marijuana in his pockets. He was arrested but released due to jail capacity.

A parent requested a deputy to talk to her kids about sneaking out of the house late at night.

Another parent came to the Sherriff's office asking what to do about his son smoking marijuana.

When an apparently confused, disheveled looking woman showed up in a man's yard she became frightened, claimed she must have been at the wrong house and ran away after climbing over an 8-foot-tall fence.
(That's sad, not funny).

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 13 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM

A large dog was on top of a very steep roof on South Black Avenue. A caller was worried it would fall off.

Someone dropped off a package of marijuana to be shipped, and the shipping company called police to retrieve it.

Five juvenile males were warned for attempting to climb up a wall of a school on West Main Street just before midnight.

A report of gunshots at a fishing access turned out to likely be a blown tire on nearby Interstate 90.

A landlord wanted to know what to do with a couple of frying pans and other items left behind by a former tenant.

The driver of a tractor pulling a bailer was warned and told to consider taking a back road at 5 p.m. after he had about 50 vehicles backed up behind him on Jackrabbit Lane.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:24 AM

An officer noticed a mysterious smoke plume coming from the center of a building that turned out to be coffee roasting.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 18 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM

* Four people were soaking in the hot tub of an apartment complex where they did not live around 2 a.m. and the caller wanted them cited for trespassing.

* * A man was warned for hanging onto the back of a Streamline bus on East Main Street around 2 a.m.

* A "young man" was sleeping in his vehicle after work because Montana State University won't let him in his dorm until Aug. 26.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* The driver of a pickup that had pulled into a driveway on Emerald Lane several times around 1 a.m., was found playing poker with friends at another residence nearby. The man said he was looking for the party.

* A 22-year-old man, who had been drinking heavily at a wedding and was not familiar with the area, got lost after he left the Moonlight Basin lodge area around 12:30 a.m. and tried to walk to a residence about 10 miles away. Four area search and rescue teams were fielded including dog teams and helicopters. The man was found in a residence in a steep, wooded area near the ski resort around 7:30 a.m. He had broken into the home to get out of the cold - temperatures had dipped into the 30s overnight.

* A man spotted on the catwalk of the Belgrade city water tower was gone when a deputy arrived.

* A woman, who had trapped a weasel after it bit her, opted not to get law enforcement involved when she learned they would shoot it. She decided to keep the weasel for a couple of weeks to ensure it wasn't rabid.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:23 AM

* Police received several calls from people concerned about recorded political messages they received on their telephones.

* A caller reported seeing people leaving a residence with "snack-size and jewelry-size baggies" and believed there may be drug deals happening there.

* Kids were seen "burning security devices" off football jerseys the caller believed were stolen. Police found one of the juveniles and are investigating.

* A woman's name and phone number were written on the bathroom door of a business.

* A man struck a parked car on North Church Avenue "because he did not pay attention to his driving."

* A deputy spoke with a 15-year-old Belgrade boy who had been involved in mischief at the request of his mother after the boy had been with a friend who stole a car recently. She hoped the deputy "would make her son realize that he is likely to end up in more serious trouble if he does not change his ways."

* A woman was receiving calls from a restricted number with a person breathing heavily on the other end.

* A woman said her husband was "hacking into her e-mail and Facebook account" and posting false information on her Facebook page.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:27 AM

* A woman was issued a citation at about 1:30 a.m. for camping out on a couch at North 5th Avenue and Hemlock Street.

* A man with an off-leash dog on North 19th Avenue was warned after the ball he was throwing for the dog went out into the street causing the dog to follow after.

* While a parking officer was issuing a person a ticket, the person drove off and struck the officer. The officer was not injured and the person was cited for reckless driving.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

* A man and a woman in an SUV hit two barrels and almost struck flaggers in a construction area near Big Sky Spur and Gallatin roads. When stopped by a person in the area, the SUV driver swore and said he "could do whatever he wanted."

(That's one of the roads to Yellowstone Park).

* A man provided information on a scam in which he was told a person would meet him to hand over a large sum of money. The man never showed.

* A man reported an abandoned car behind his residence on Andrea Drive. He asked if the car was stolen and whether he could drive it.

* Loud noises were reported near Penwell Bridge around 10 p.m. The person reporting the noise said it sounded like someone might be blowing up beaver dams.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:11 AM

Two men practicing their golf swings hit a ball through a neighbor's garage window.

A "renegade golf cart" was running cars off the road on West Babcock Street around 9:30 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Wednesday included the following:

A deputy, checking on a suspicious cooler left by the side of the road, found a bag of rotten meat and several maggots inside.

An elderly woman was throwing wood onto the road on Jackrabbit Lane around 5:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM

The manager of a bar called 911 because "college kids" got upset when he refused to serve them alcohol "due to their level of intoxication."

A girl who reported her car stolen after leaving a party found it just down the block from the house where she had been. She was cited for minor in possession of alcohol and told not to move her car.

A man found a wallet that did not belong to him in the back seat of his vehicle that appeared there while he was attending a concert a few days ago.

A man was irate over a used car and wanted a refund.

A woman reported some juveniles stole beer from her store but it turned out they had legally bought a bottle of soda.

Police stopped a cyclist after he was seen riding on the sidewalk and nearly rode into a police car. The man also attempted to flee. He was cited for traffic violations.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

Residents of Covered Wagon Trailer Court reported hearing an explosion around 4:30 a.m. Northwestern Energy said they were doing some work and the loud noise was caused by a blown fuse.

A woman discovered a man "digging through her refrigerator" when she arrived home on Juniper Drive around 10:30 a.m. He took off and the woman thought he may have stolen her Patriots hat.

A man, honking at a woman in a parking lot on West Main Street, yelled obscenities at her when she rolled down her vehicle window.

A man said he mistakenly sent a photo message of a man's genitalia to a 10-year-old boy's emergency cell phone. He "apologized profusely" saying he had sent it to some friends as a joke and had apparently programmed the wrong number into his phone. He promised to correct the number in his phone.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:55 AM

• Remote-control car races were reported Saturday morning in a parking lot on North Seventh Avenue. The cars were loud and were waking up guests of a nearby hotel.

• A man was reportedly sitting on a lawn chair at the Bozeman Beach, acting strange for the second day in a row.

• Three underage kids were reportedly smoking at the Skate Park. Officers found several kids, but no cigarettes. The kids were warned about the dangers of smoking.

• A man, pulled over for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, could not walk and was in possession of a gallon of vodka.

• A woman reported that her boyfriend came to her house and had been drinking and making rude comments. She said he would not leave. He eventually left with no clothes on.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 25 Aug 09 - 10:30 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following:

* A man tried to kick a vehicle that was parked on North Seventh Avenue around 12:30 a.m. He failed to do so.

* Two intoxicated men told an officer that they lost their friend somewhere between The Scoop bar and her residence.

* Two women, who were arguing about a man -- one's son, the other's husband -- were separated after the man's mother reported her daughter-in-law came into the room yelling and then threw tea on her.

* A small puppy running loose in a building set off a burglar alarm around 6 p.m.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following:

* A woman asked for assistance turning off a fan in her house that had been on for several days. She said she'd called dozens of people and no one could help her and she was freezing.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Arnie
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:37 AM

Slight thread drift but I was wondering why you dial 911 in the States? In the UK it's 999 which seems a bit easier, as you can do it without moving your finger from one number to another. Does 999 clash with some other service in the US?

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:05 AM

Remember old rotary phone dials?

One is the shortest number to DIAL on a phone... it should have been 111 instead of 911 to dial the fastest.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:08 AM

From the History of 911 Emergency...

The new emergency number had to be three numbers that were not in use in the United States or Canada as the first three numbers of any phone number or area code, and the numbers had to be easy to use.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Arnie
Date: 26 Aug 09 - 12:18 PM

Thanks Alice -I'd completely forgotten about the old dial-up phones! As you say, in that case the no. should be 111 and if that was once an area code then the emergency services should have had taken over the code - bit late now I suppose.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 27 Aug 09 - 09:56 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following:

An angry man was stomping around a store on North 19th Avenue. He was walking in circles and "tore something up" there.

A report of toddlers playing perilously close to an irrigation ditch turned out to be boys ranging in age from 5 to 10. They were not in danger.

A caller complained that city workers were damaging gravestones while mowing in Sunset Hills Cemetery.

A woman came home to find her neighbor's children in her house.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following:

A man jumped out in front of a vehicle and began yelling on Amsterdam Road around 1:30 a.m.

Gravel was stolen from a homeowners' association pit.

Firefighters arrived at a home to find lots of smoke but no substantial fire after the homeowners put a chicken in the oven, left the residence and the chicken burned.

A caller said there were some people staying at a campground who were "spooky."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 30 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A 4-year-old girl called 911, reported that her stuffed cat Garfield had died and hung up. A deputy responded to the girl's home and, with her parents, explained proper 911 usage.

A man hired to clean a foreclosed home on Huffine Lane reported a foul smell inside the home. Deputies found a dead cat under the couch.

A deputy responded to a report of a large, angry badger outside a man's home on Buffalo Orchard Trail.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:27 PM

A caller wanted to know what could be done about some confiscated chickens.

A man accused another man of having his coat, which had been stolen a year ago from a house in Louisiana. An officer explained to the accuser that the manufacturer had made more than one of that particular coat.



A woman wanted to know what she could do about a garage band playing loudly most of the day.

A man hunting doves misread a map and accidentally ended up on private land where he did not have permission to be. He apologized and left immediately.

A bear was spotted in a motor home on Juniper Drive around 10 p.m. No one was inside the camper.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:45 AM

* A note was left on a parked car and "some kind of dressing, possibly ranch."

* A shaggy dog wandering around South Church Avenue around 10 a.m. looked lost, according to a caller.

* Police found a man, who came to another man's house trying to sell magazines, passed out in a neighbor's yard. The caller, who dispatchers said was "very upset (and) belligerent himself - yelling and cussing," said the magazine salesman was highly intoxicated and was rude and aggressive when asked to leave.

* Another magazine salesman also got belligerent when a woman told him she was closing the door. The man had handed the woman a note that said something about smoking pot and asking for a beer.

* A man accidently hit the emergency button in an elevator with a grocery bag.

* Neighbors were talking loudly on their front porch around 11 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:13 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following:

* A woman thought a man in a blue pickup with a guitar on Annie Street was strange.

* A female driver wanted police to speak with a male driver about his "gestures" and almost cutting her off a couple of times on North 19th Avenue.

* A seemingly intoxicated man, who was having difficulty spelling his last name, wanted to speak with a sergeant regarding some stolen guns.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following:

* A deputy stopped to check on a man who had fallen asleep in his car at the Cameron Bridge Fishing Access and was too intoxicated to drive around midnight. A family member picked him up.

* A deputy answered questions from a caller about a mountain lion spotted near Manhattan [town near Bozeman].

* A caller reported that a neighbor's 10 puppies had been constantly whining for three days.

* A man said he was hit in the mouth by his boss while in a vehicle.

* A caller said that a transient had "overstayed her welcome" and would like her "moved along."

* A man reported hearing his neighbor using the vacuum that he recently reported stolen.

* Deputies received several reports of noisy fireworks in the River Rock area around 10 p.m. but "the fireworks show was over before deputies located the source."

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 06 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM

A hound dog, which officers had previously attempted to capture, was baying around 2 a.m. on a hill near Bozeman Deaconess Hospital.

A very intoxicated man was taken home by officers around 2 a.m. after he was found passed out in shrubbery on North Fifth Avenue. After arriving at his home, the man then yelled obscenities at officers "for unknown reasons."

A male driver was cited for several traffic offenses after he missed the turn at Oak Street and Ferguson Avenue and landed his car in a small pond around 6 a.m.

A man who was yelling and cursing at his German shepherd was weaving and walking into traffic on Huffine Lane. The dog "was trying to get away from him" and "trying to get into vehicles," forcing cars to slam on their brakes to avoid both man and dog.

A vinyl sign was stolen from the Campus Ministry building.

A woman who advertised for a roommate on Craigslist said she is receiving "strange" e-mails.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A woman said two men in a red Durango were driving slowly through the neighborhood, as if "casing" the houses, around noon.

Deputies responded to a "heated roadside exchange" between an elderly male driver and a female driver on U.S. Highway 191.

Deputies received a call from the airport about a "heated argument" between a customer and an employee.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:06 PM

* A cab driver reported at 2 a.m. that a passenger jumped out of his cab on W. Cameron Bridge Road and ran after refusing to pay his fare. The runner's flip-flops were later found in a nearby field.

* A movie theater clerk reported receiving a counterfeit $20 bill. The man who paid with the bill was located inside the theater. Officers questioned him and found two outstanding warrants; he was arrested and taken to the Gallatin County Detention Center.


The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following:

* A caller reported hearing loud noises and yelling near Frontage Road at around midnight. Officers found neighbors playing a late-night volleyball game. The players were asked to quiet down.

* A man in a white truck reportedly drove up to a house on Dooley Lane and asked the resident if he'd like "any of his fresh vegetables." The resident said the man got back in his truck and drove away, but that "it was very strange."

* A 20-pound pig was reportedly running loose on Thorpe Road. The caller was concerned the pig might cause a traffic hazard.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:24 PM

In the Halcyon days before parking meters and attendants it was the job of the police to attend to badly parked cars.
One bobby got fed up with issuing tickets to a persistant offender who left his Roller parked in the same place every day with his dog in it, but, as he was a Freemason friend of the Station commander, got away with it each time.
One day, instead of issuing the ticket, the bobby pushed several pieces of laxative chewing gum (EXLAX??) through the partially open window of the car, which apeared to solve the problem!
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 09 Sep 09 - 11:00 AM

A man, who said he was punched, decided not to press charges against his assailant "after he realized he might have started it."

Police stopped a vehicle after seeing a man riding in back of it on a boat trailer. The driver was unaware of the rider.

A bear and her cubs were spotted in a tree in Hauser Park off Kagy Boulevard around 2:30 p.m.

A person was warned for shooting a bow and arrow within city limits.

A report of a fire in an apartment building on Durston Road turned out to be someone who had burned their dinner.

A resident of Yellowtail Road found a golf cart high-centered in their backyard and thought it might be stolen.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 10 Sep 09 - 12:31 PM

Deputies responded to a residence near Three Forks for the second time in a few weeks for a report of gunshots in the area around 2:30 a.m. The man initially denied any wrongdoing but later admitted to "having come home and wanting to impress his possible future girlfriend with his marksmanship skills at night." The officers warned the man about his behavior and told him he'd be cited if it happened again.

A man who had had an argument with his wife earlier in the evening was found sleeping in his car in the driveway of his home around 2:30 a.m.

A deputy arrived at a residence "to find a very upset male who dialed the wrong number" after dispatchers received a 911 hang-up call from him.

A caller reported receiving some "weird" mail from California.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM

A black bear was seen on North 22nd Avenue around 8:30 a.m. Bears were also seen on Hunters Way and Oliver Street a short while later.

A man was told to put on more appropriate clothing after he was seen outside his home wearing only his boxer shorts.

An elderly woman was having difficulty getting her escaped llama back in its pen around 8 p.m.

A woman who runs a daycare center was concerned after seeing an obviously sick fox in the yard.

A man who had hung up on a 911 dispatcher was shouting when a deputy arrived. He said he had misdialed the phone and was yelling for his dog.

A deputy was unable to track down two horses reportedly trotting down the eastbound lane of South 19th Avenue around 11 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 17 Sep 09 - 03:24 PM

Rochester Times (NH)

4:05 p.m. — In East Rochester, a lady is out in front of her house yelling at a neighbor in front of "a ton of kids." A fight is expected at any moment. In just a few minutes, the event boasts 10 kids, two women still in each other's faces, and several gawkers.

7:07 p.m. — On Rochester Hill Road, a man in plaid shorts is being chased by a Jeep. Yelling breaks out.

9:08 p.m. — At the station a man would like to talk about a very serious matter. Some minutes later he calls 911 from the lobby to say that police are not taking the matter seriously, and notes that he cannot be out after 8:30 p.m.

6:36 a.m. — On South Main Street, a woman in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot wants to fight with a man.

11:05 a.m. — Two gentlemen slug it out on Summer Street.

11:05 a.m. — A pot pipe pops up in a playground at Cold Spring Manor.

11:17 a.m. — On Church Street, a woman is banging on a door after threatening to come over in the belief the caller stole her clothes.

1:17 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports her sister stole her pills and is selling them. Plus, she is offering to pay people in drugs for stealing clothes.

3:30 p.m. — — A lady has urinated on Lafayette Street, more in urgency than as a public statement. She is taken into protective custody and later released to a neighbor.

8:41 p.m.— A lady enters the lobby to report an assault by a gentleman. When pried for information, she says she is going to find and kill him.

11:52 p.m. — At the Knights of Columbus, a man wearing all black is investigated. He is not the Black Knight.

9:12 a.m. — Highland Street Dunkin' Donuts have a theft on video. No, 20 officers don't rush to respond.

2:35 p.m. — A property owner says a black dog from Jackson Street is leaving brown deposits.

3:33 p.m. — A 16-year-old seeking to turn himself in on a bench warrant obligingly hangs around for an hour until an officer is available.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 12:57 PM

A disturbance during which someone was reportedly heard saying he was going to kill someone turned out to be a group of people playing capture the flag in a park.


Four dogs running loose hampered a worker's efforts to get fresh concrete poured on Sitting Bull Road around 2:30 p.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 02:02 PM

An 18-year-old man was arrested for minor in possession after running down the street with a case of beer in his hand at about 1 a.m.

A man in a vehicle was warned for making employees at a coffee stand uncomfortable by "continually staring at them."

Someone called about neighbors who "continually use a buzz saw every day."

A man and woman stole produce from a community garden.

Officers responded to a report of gunshots on Annie Street, but found that residents had been lighting off fireworks.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following:

A black cow on Jackrabbit Lane crossed the road in front of traffic several times.

A Park County deputy reported a black bear roaming around by Frontage Road.

A car was driving through yards and "spinning brodies" on Big Hole Street.

A man trying to sell magazines on Redwood Street was asking for food and money and didn't leave the neighborhood for a long time.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:38 AM

* Two teenage boys were reportedly sneaking around vehicles parked on North 27th Avenue around midnight. The boys were driving a tan-colored sedan and had left by the time officers arrived.

* A "huge, out of control," party was reported around 1 a.m. at the Hawks Ridge Condos. Officers warned the residents and arrested one partygoer for obstructing an officer.

* * A bear was reported early Saturday morning on the Linear Trail near East Garfield Street. By mid-morning the bear had made its way to South Grand Avenue and West Harrison Street, across from the Story Mansion. When the bear climbed into a tree, Fish and Game wardens were called.

* A resident on Anne Street reported that her neighbor's smoke alarm had been going off and no one was answering the door. Eventually an intoxicated man opened the door, explaining that he had been cooking and had forgotten that the stove was on.

* A woman called and asked if her sons were required to clean-up paintball remains on their neighbor's fence on 16th Avenue. The boys had been shooting paintball guns earlier in the day.
(Why would you have to call police to ask that question?)

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 10:42 AM

The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following:

A 32-year-old Bozeman man was arrested on a warrant after he was seen hiding behind a tree near West College Street while police were investigating a fireworks complaint around 12:30 a.m. He was held on $535 bond.

Graffiti was painted on the back door of a business on North Seventh Avenue and several pallets were smashed.

A lit cigarette was dropped in a business' drop box on Stoneridge Drive and ignited a bandana. This was the second incident of its kind at the business. [I come from Montana, I wear a bandana...]

* A restaurant received a strange package in the mail.

A business's company vehicle was wrapped in duct tape while parked on North Tracy Avenue.

A 22-year-old woman was cited for shoplifting after attempting to steal lip balm from a business on North 19th Avenue.

A black bear was seen ambling down Bridger Drive around noon.

A llama was running on the Sourdough Trail and around the nearby neighborhood around 1:30 p.m.

An American flag was stolen from a residence on South Black Avenue.

A boy on juvenile probation was given a citation for stealing deli food from a store on North 19th Avenue.

The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following:

Someone at the National Guard Readiness Center in Belgrade "fat fingered" a keypad, mistakenly setting off a duress alarm there.

A black bear and her cub were seen in a tree near Sundance Drive around 10 a.m.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 26 Sep 09 - 01:17 PM

A woman reported a man walked up to her, handed her a picture of "the sex offender" and stated he was John Wayne. The woman told police she thought the male looked like the sex offender suspect.

A man on East Valley Center Road said another man called him, told him he was the manager of another Outback Steakhouse, and said dirty things.

A horse was in Dry Creek Road at 2:17 p.m.

Two columns of smoke were seen from Sixteen Mile Road in northern Gallatin County. The fire was found to be in Meagher County.

Neighbors on Hitching Post Road reported people who recently moved into a nearby house and were holding parties there nightly. Deputies found people fighting, and two males fled the scene when they arrived. The two males were apprehended and cited. Three others were also cited with minor in possession.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: curmudgeon
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 01:36 PM

From Rochester NH

Thursday, Sept. 3
3:02 a.m. — On Charles Street, four folks yell and scream, for those in bed, fat chance to dream.
7:29 a.m. — A dead skunk raises a stink on Washington Street.
1:45 p.m. — A lady being very disruptive at the library is served with a no-trespass order.
9:21 p.m. — A drunk in a Lafayette Street apartment disturbs everyone else in the building.
10:10 p.m. — At Cold Spring Manor skateboard park, teens yell and smoke and curse and lark.

Friday, Sept. 4
3:30 a.m. — A Chestnut Hill Road resident finds a man in his yard, next to his vehicles. The intruder mutters something about looking for a dog, and then takes off.
6:09 p.m. — There are four bunnies, enough for a pie, in a yard near the fairground. However, they are very well cared for and look like family pets, so the caller will look out for them until contacted by the owner.
10:40 p.m. — Citizens parked in Rochester Cemetery are "being romantic." They are told not to stop there again.
11:08 p.m. — Citizens in a vehicle near KFC are somewhat less than romantic. They fire an egg at another driver and splat him in the face
9:57 a.m. — A Governors Road mailbox has been mashed, with others possibly sharing the same fate.
1:23 p.m. — A woman who left her phone on the counter of a Hannaford pharmacy says that a young man told an employee he would run after her and give her it. Instead, he steals the phone.
1:28 p.m. — On Chestnut Street, one woman thumps another woman's door and yells in at her boyfriend..
10:39 p.m. — A shirtless man (here we go) and his girlfriend stand in the middle of Quaker Lane and scream. Someone has taken their keys.
11:10 p.m. — On Academy, there are eight noisy people with bottles in their hands.
Sunday, Sept. 6

8:44 a.m. — On Jackson Street, two dogs pick on one dog.
9:43 a.m. — A cyclist on Farmington Road receives an official warning for dropping a napkin.
10:39 a.m. — At Market Basket, a woman steals health and beauty aids.
5:53 p.m. — Teens yell and swear at a woman on Old Milton Road.
9:12 p.m. — Fireworks annoy residents on Nicole Street.
10:31 p.m. — Fireworks, music and people create a cacophony on Charles Street.
Monday, Sept. 7

1:08 a.m. — On Evergreen Lane a van drives over a lawn and clunks into an inflatable swimming pool which is now leaking.
8:48 a.m. — At Salmon Falls Estates a man going to pick up his child reports his ex "throwing things at him."
8:57 a.m. — At the Lilac Mall Hannaford's, tensions rise when a suspicious man, wearing headphones and a white shirt walks into the store "with some sort of device strapped to his chest." Police make contact and find it is an infant wrapped in a blanket.
5:15 p.m. — A George & Ed's Store, a lady is hitting a gentleman and screaming in his face.
6:06 p.m. — Music blasts on Moores Court. A woman gets a final warning.
Tuesday, Sept. 8

12:37 a.m. — On Knight Street a man rides a bike with no lights. On the plus side he does not drop a napkin.
1:09 p.m. — Graffiti blights a wall up at the Lilac Mall.
3:43 p.m. — A Cedarbrook Village woman wants to see an officer after her pet was injured in a dog fight.
6:03 p.m. — Fisticuffs break out near a pizza shop on North Main Street.
8:54 p.m. — Four men (probably napkin droppers) in the new Factory Court plaza keep harassing people as they walk by.
Wednesday, Sept. 9

7:03 a.m. — On Lafayette Street, half a dozen people (not yet in bed, perhaps, rather than early risers) yell and start to fight.
8:46 a.m. — A truck driver is concerned about a hawk he struck accidentally near the Country Club. It is injured and trying to fly. Soon after, a woman brings the wrapped up bird to the station, and the animal control officer passes it along to someone who can nurse it back to health.
12:40 p.m. — At the station a woman reports her dog was attacked by a neighbor's dog..
6:07 p.m. — A lady punches a gentleman right in the face on Joshua Street.
Thursday, Sept. 10

11:11 a.m. — On Periwinkle Drive, a man says a neighbor stole his cat. The neighbor then phones to assert the first caller has threatened to shoot him. Police say the cat spat should be settled in civil court.
11:45 a.m. — In the lobby, someone "wants to speak to an officer about the neighbor's children and balls coming over the fence."
1:36 p.m. — At the station, a man says he thinks his soon-to-be-ex-wife is loosening his brakes.
1:47 p.m. — At the station, a citizen says they would like to see a newspaper article on bike safety and cyclists' rules of the road, pertaining to traffic lights, one-way road signs, stop signs, riding on the sidewalk, pulling out into traffic and cutting off vehicles. Plus napkin dropping.
3:23 p.m. — Graffiti has appeared on the door of the fire station museum in East Rochester.
5:03 p.m. — In a possible identity theft/scam, a "creditor" keeps calling a very elderly lady to say she owes Barclay's Bank $989. The scamsters have her social security number.
8:09 p.m. — There is a dead fox on Cross Road.
8:16 p.m. — Loud gunplay scares Hansonville Road children trying to sleep. It is the SWAT team practicing night shooting
Friday, Sept. 11

7:52 a.m. — A homeless man is still using the facilities in the Professional Arts Building and scaring tenants.

8:40 a.m. — A dog yaps round the clock at Wellsweep Acres.
9:40 a.m. — A man is thought to be casing vehicles near Bank of America. He says he was waiting on a friend in the bank, and looking for loose change in a grassy area.
2:39 p.m. — A mother and teenage son slug it out at Cold Spring Manor.
5:02 p.m. — From Rochester Terrace MHP there is a report, via 911, of a teenage girl stripping for two older men. A second call is placed 10 minutes later which says, "Forget it. Forget it. They left. You missed it. The men put their clothes on and they left. "
6:34 p.m. — A woman on Chestnut Street yells at kids and then bawls obscenities at their remonstrating mother.
7:07 p.m. — A Soapstone Lane man is missing his wages and his medication.
10:32 p.m. — Fifteen kids at McClelland School try to lure a boy there to fight with them.
10:55 p.m. — A car is egged on Lowell and also on Old Dover Road, Double-yolked, so to speak. Police call on several purveyors of eggs in an effort to find the perpetrators.

Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
From: Alice
Date: 30 Sep 09 - 05:16 PM

dropping napkins


that's funny