BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 10:07 PM

Sheesh, a gyrl takes a while to think about, comes to the aprty and YOU'RE closing up shop????!!! Whay kind a party is this? It's still EARLY in JoeLand!!!

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 10:32 PM

Excellent, Kat! The "Modern Shape-Changers Guide To Survival" is something no lycanthrope should be without.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Lyrical Lady
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 11:31 PM

Helloooooo Everybody!...Sorry I'm late. I was baking a cake! It's not the greatest looking cake ...you see...someone left the cake out in the rain and it took so long to bake it! None the less...I'm here at last with this huge cake...I'll just put it down over here....OOooops... Twump....Jeezus .... whose big foot was that?..... Jello with your cake anyone?

LL

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Bert
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 12:32 AM

Nah look 'ere. Drinks on my credit card is one thing. But my last statement had an item for 3/4 of a ton of lime jello!!!

So just fer that I'm gonna sing MY SPECIAL STAG PARTY SONG. Join in the chorus.

When I was a Kid, we went for ice cream,
my sister had vanilla and I had a raspberry-ripple-rocky-road-chocolate-fudge-sundae-dream.
I looked at hers and I started crying,
when I saw that her ice cream was bigger than mine;

but Ma said....

"Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter
It's the flavor you see
Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter".
Well it matters to me.

When I went to school, I tried hard to please
but my sister got A's while I got mostly D's.
I took my report home for mother to see
I remembered the ice cream and what she'd said to me;

so I said....

"Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter
for I tried hard you see
Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter".
She said "it matters to me". *Thump*

I started courting when I was sixteen,
the girl next door was the girl of my dreams;
But she got real mad and she called me a louse,
when she caught me staring real hard at her blouse;

she said....

"Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter
If you really love me --
Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter".
Well it matters to me.

When I got a job I worked hard every day,
hoping to see an increase in my pay.
Though every pay check I got was so small
my Boss said "Don't worry, don't worry at all

because....

Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter
and I'll make you VP
Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter".
Well it matters to me.

The girl next door was the love of my life
she finally consented that she'd be my wife.
How well I remember the night we were wed,
How she raised her left eyebrow as I climbed into bed.

She said....

"Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter
It's how you use it you see
Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter, Size doesn't matter".
Well it matters to me.

Copyright Bert Hansell, 1998

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:33 AM

Okay, JE, in ya go, we got us a cake. And there's room for two in there!! Hey move over, then... I'll keep ya company...here, just lend me that whistle, wouldja? There...snug but nice, right? Tell ya what, i don't weanna jump out especially, but I'll give you a leg up. Not yet...when the time comes. Here,... put one leg up heremmmmphhhhh!! Hmm. No, it ...isn't time yet!! Not for another hour or so, and if we're lucky... there'll be a four hour break in the party and you won't have to jump out til after!

Merry many returns, Brother Joe. We are rooting for you.

(But we're betting on that smart chiropractor!)

A.

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 01:44 AM

So's ziss party still goin' on then or whut? Dat Spaw close it down jes acase he's had hisseff too much dam' punch? Shee-it! Ah knowed they mos' be under the tables by the time Ah could get mah ass on in heah!

An' I has the bestest song fer Joe! Yas! Been runnin' in mah haid fer DAYS! Now Ah recollects WHY! Iss an ole Doc Watson song! Ah lick all over whoever kin guess what it be! Acourse MAH version fer Joe is a lil diff'rent... Got the "haints" set up runnin' a lil mo bettah fer the sitcheeayshun, iffen yuh knows whut Ah means! Huh huh HUH! Ah reckon Ah git mahseff in TOO dam' much trubble Ah sing DAT one!

Now doan be mixin' me up wid dem low-'count critters is out the back, Ah ain't lookin' for no beeeece-tee-AL-i-tee!

~The Sugar Dog

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 03:50 AM

What's this? The party's over?
Heck, I just got here, and now it's time to sweep up and turn out the lights. Isn't there any more Jello left? Heck, there's 38 hours before the wedding....
-Joe Offer-

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 03:59 AM

C'mere, Joe and you can twirl my tassels one last time. Now, don't be shy...look, they can spin in different directions....*smile* I told them it was still early in JoeLand! There's a quart of jello left in the 'fridge, ya wanna bite? How's that punch mix going? Wanna have a taste test?

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 04:47 AM

Yeah, Kat - let's slip some brandy in the punch while Christina isn't looking!
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: JenEllen
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:13 AM

Well, thank you LL for the lovely cake! I was beginning to wonder if the half-mangled Twinkie that Mortee was trying to pass off was going to work. Really difficult to make a dramatic exit from two inches of yellow sponge cake. I tried thinking that size doesn't matter, but c'mon, who are we kidding? (pries off lid to cake) And yes, Amos, room enough for two...just watch that whistle, willya?

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:19 AM

Gives a whole new meaning to "wet yer whistle!"

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: JenEllen
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:28 AM

Oh for SHAME!!! *grotflhao*

Do you know how difficult it is to crawl into a cake when doubled over in mad giggles? But y'know darlin' if there's room for two an' a whistle, there's room for three and tassles....just knock first...LOL

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 11:33 AM

Katnasty!!! LOL!!! Ya ever wonder what people think about while waiting to jump out of a cake? I never did!!

Who's tending bar in this place? Could ya slip a little tube in here -- hook it up to the Guinness... Oh, and the lady will have... Remy Martin 1928, ...just a little, or we'll need four tubes in here!!! Hey, what's this!??!! An epiphany-inducing apparition from the Temple of the Golden Globes!! I'm having a religous experience in here!!...

Let's practice, then... for when you jump out....

There is a ship
She sails the sea
Loaded as deep as deep can be

But not as deep
As this love I am in
And know not how I sink, or swim....

Sounds good....guess we got it. Guess we just wait for someone to blow the whistle, huh? Never heard of a folksinging cakejumper. But there's a first time for evverything. Here....need some help with that icing? I remember when I was a little kid my mom always useta let me lick the bowl....

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Gareth
Date: 11 Jan 02 - 07:13 PM

Having returned fron the "Royal Oak" 5 pints of Bass to the good, (and I should not be posting).

Heres a health to Joe, and his beloved.

May the Bride and the Groom enjoy eternal happiness
May the Union be fruitfull, and a new generation follow in thier tradition !

Gareth

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: WyoWoman
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 01:11 AM

Earthlings have strange rites.

ww

P.S. Joe -- don't EAT THE JELLO!!!

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 10:58 AM

Today's the big day, right?

Hey Joe...

Congratulations and best wishes!

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 11:25 AM

Hey, Joe!!

Hey, Joe, don't make it bad

                                                                               Take a folk song and make it better
                                                                               Remember to let her into your heart
                                                                              Then you can start to make it better

                                                                                       Hey, Joe, don't be afraid
                                                                             You were made to go out and get her
                                                                            The minute there's tension your skin
                                                                                She can begin to make it better.

                                                                   And any time you feel the pain, hey, Joe, refrain
                                                                        She'll dig into the muscles in  your shoulders
                                                                 Well don't you know that its a fool who plays it cool
                                                                                By making his world a little colder

                                                                                   Hey, Joe! Don't let her down
                                                                          You have found her, now go and get her
                                                                              Remember, to let her into your heart
                                                                              Then you can start to make it better.

                                                                           So let it out and let it in, hey, Joe, begin
                                                                        You've found someone to perform with
                                                                   And don't you know that it's just you, hey, Joe,
                                                              You'll do, the woman you need is at your shoulder !

                                                                                     Hey, Joe, you got it good
                                                                               Take a folk song and make it better
                                                                               Remember now, you've let her into your heart
                                                                               That's just the start -- keep making  it better!

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 12:18 PM

Well Amos old friend, you strike again! A great job and maybe one of your best!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 07:50 PM

Well, thanks, Spaw -- I know the power carries, but it ain't my energy that really drives it -- I swapped it around a little, but it's the original Deity of Four that made it golden! Appreciate it.

When John and Yoko began living together in 1968, divorce proceedings began between John and his wife Cynthia. Paul McCartney, who was very close to John and Cynthia's son, Julian, was concerned over John's marriage breaking up, and in support of Cynthia and Julian, wrote this song. Originally titled "Hey Julian," it later developed to "Hey Jules," then finally "Hey Jude," because it was thought Jude was a stronger sounding name.

The song is merely a message to Julian, then five years old, of encouragement while his parents went thru their separation and divorce. Although Julian at this young age knew what the song was about, he did not learn the facts first hand from Paul until 1987 when the two happened to run into each other at a New York hotel. This had been the first time in years that the two had an opportunity to sit down and talk with each other. Paul and Julian had a wonderful friendship and closeness as Julian grew up, and Julian recalled that there went lots of pictures of he and Paul, more so than there were on him with his father, John.

"Hey Jude" turned out to be the most successful song The Beatles ever released. It was recorded in two days at Trident Studios, London, on July 31 and August 1, 1968, using a 36-piece orchestra, and by the end of that year had sold more than five million copies.

Why was "Hey Jude" so important and popular? One of the reasons was at that time it was the longest song ever released as a single at seven minutes and eleven seconds. The other reason is that its lyrics were easy, and developed into a community type anthem with its sing-along chorus.

(from an unknown website).

A

Subject: RE: BS: JoeOfferSTAG(nant)PARTY*X-RatedTavern
From: alison
Date: 12 Jan 02 - 09:49 PM

Have a great day.... and a wonderful life together

love

alison