BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: dianavan
Date: 12 May 07 - 03:14 AM

Thou shalt use only real maple syrup

Thou shalt fuck around

Thou shalt smoke B.C. bud

Thou shalt protect the environment

Thou shalt wear toques not hats

Thou shalt sit on Chesterfields, not Davenports

Thou shalt be politically correct at all times

Thou shalt be bilingual, at least

Thou shalt cross the floor without shame

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Dickey
Date: 11 May 07 - 11:19 PM

When I think of Canada I am always reminded of Lucky Pierre, the man in the middle.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Metchosin
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:35 PM

10a. Never vote for anything, always vote agin it.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:15 PM

Make it a Double, double to go, with a toasted everything.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 11 May 07 - 08:02 PM

Two-four

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:53 PM

9) Hold the salsa and double up on the boiled potatoes

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:50 PM

Ques-que two-four?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: bobad
Date: 11 May 07 - 07:49 PM

Thou shalt not covet thy neighboUrs two-four...eh!

Covetez pas le two-four de votre n'est beurre....anh!

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:32 PM

Are you this good at French or are you using Babelfish or something?

I'm no good at all at French, because most of my schooling was in New York State, and I elected to take Spanish and Latin instead.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:31 PM

Try to be polite when asked, "How much is that in REAL money?"

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM

1) On est canadien d'abords, habitants apres (si habitant l'ontario; pour tout autre c'est le contraire.

2 Une feuille d'erable donne passage libre.

3) Acceptez les autres (sauf les voisins).

4) Embetez pas les americains.

5) Recompensez les chaumeurs /(pogey)?/

6) Cotisez les malfaisasnts (vie en prison n'est que 5 ans)

7)Saluez les royaux (sauf le Quebec)

8) Si s'est pas sans un strip, caa n'existe pas

9) Gardez l'ennui dans la politique, ca attire les avocats

10) Souriez en hiver, tout comme l'aimant

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 06:17 PM

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 05:46 PM

Tell me that NOW!

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 05:00 PM

Don't test how cold it is outside by putting your tongue on the flagpole.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:58 PM

Be sure there's enough gas in the Skidoo.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:52 PM

When in the USA when asked where you live, reply, above the tree line

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:47 PM

Tell people who who ask whether or not we all live in igloos that yes, we do.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:24 PM

11) Always remind Americans that some famous American entertainers
were born in Canada:))

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:16 PM

More good stuff! Beauty, eh? ;-)

Here's another:

Try to pretend Canadian history is exciting...at least while you're taking the course.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Ed
Date: 11 May 07 - 04:12 PM

1)You are from Canada first, your province second* (applies only to Ontario, for others you are from your province first, Canada second).

2 A Maple leaf gives safe passage

3) Respect diversity (does not apply to your street)

4) Don't annoy the americans,

5) Reward those do not work (pogey)

6) Be kind to criminmals (life means 5 years)

7)Honour the royals (except in Quebec))

8) If it isn't in a shopping mall, it does not exist

9)Keep politicts boring, to lure more lawyers

10) Smile in winter, as if you enjoy it

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:55 PM

L'ours a toujours raison.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wolfgang
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:43 PM

quadri-lingual...like Switzerland

Hmm. Even their fourth and smallest language, Rumantsch, actually consists of at least three rather different languages.

And their French (and German similarly) consists of two languages. One is the French as people learn it in school and the French Swiss would use it being polite when talking to a Swiss German, the other is Walon. The link can give those who understand French an idea how far Walon is from French.

To the 10 commandements of Canada I would add: The bear's always right.

Wolfgang

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:25 PM

1. Hockey.
2. More hockey in Canadia can't be bad.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 03:09 PM

Ho! Ho! Lovely. Mrrzy in particular has pretty well got it covered.

Here's one the Toronto Star used to do all the time as the quintessential example of Canadian small talk:

"Mild, isn't it?"

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: mg
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:56 PM

don't walk on the slob ice

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Seiri Omaar
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:41 PM

What about Franglais?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Peace
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:36 PM

The view looks the same to everyone except the lead dog.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:34 PM

1) Let's be nice, eh? / Soyons sympa, eh?
2) It isn't cold / Il ne fait pas froid
3) Let it snow / Qu'il neige
4) Don't fret / T'inquiete pas
5) It's all good / Ca va, ca va
6) What, me worry? / Qui, moi?
7) Happy hunting / Bonne chasse
8) Don't overeat / Laisse-moi un peu de poutine
9) Don't fall down drunk / Encore une
10) Check out them Northern Lights / T'as vu l'aurore?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:33 PM

A traveling songwriter I know reported that 'Canadians are just like Americans - without guns.

The one unpleasant trait that I perceive in Canadians is that of victimhood.

For instance, complaining about the 'Americans taking over Canada', as evidenced by the McNuts and the WalNuts. They refuse to acknowledge that it is Canadians who brought those franchises in, and who are making a profit from it. It is easier to just blame the Americans.

I don't know how to make it into a commandment though.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:04 PM

Don't pretend not to see genius where it reposes in such a grand and blatantly obvious fashion, Wesley.

Boy, we aren't doing too well on those 10 Canadian Commandments, are we?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 02:00 PM

No talent?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wesley S
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM

I can understand why the talented ones move to America - but what's up with Shatner? Is he in exile?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:58 PM

I must include my own list of notable and important Canadians: Stan and Garnet Rogers, Mary Jane Lamond, Yves and France Moreau, the kids in Great Big Sea and the Cotters, Ian and Sylvia Tyson (together and singularly).

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:54 PM

You gotta be kidding, Art! Where have you been living, in a cave in Antarctica?

Yeah, Wesley, of course they all live in America now! That's where the lion's share of the money and the work is if you're in that business (the entertainment business). It's in Hollywood, California. If you wanna "make it" to the bigtime then that's where you go. William Shatner lives in America now too for the same reason...but he often visits his old Canadian haunts. Neil Young likewise lives in America for the same reason, as do Buffy Sainte-Marie and Joni Mitchell.

Ian Tyson, bless his heart, still lives in the Canadian West, however, although he used to get down to rodeos in Nevada and Montana a lot.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM

"Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print."

LOL! Right flippin' on, Frogprince.

I deal a lot with UPS in my business. They used to have their phone-in headquarters based in Nova Scotia. The recorded message would inform you, first in English, then in French, that you press "1" to proceed in English, "2" to proceed in French.

Then they moved the offices to Quebec. The recorded message now informs you, first in French, then in English, that you press "1" to proceed in French, "2" to proceed in English.

And so the beat goes on in bilingual Canada...

Thank God we are not officially tri-lingual or quadri-lingual...like Switzerland.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Wesley S
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:48 PM

"Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin."

Don't they all live and work in America now?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:46 PM

Are these people Mudcatters, LH? I don't recognize any of the names.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:45 PM

Je ne sui Francophone - es Quebec, et le "Que" rime avec "twee".

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:42 PM

Well, I want all the stuff, eh? Both the negative stuff AND the positive stuff. To succeed in assembling here all the myths and ludicrous stereotypes about Canada and Canadians will be of benefit to future generations of Canadian comedians, because believe you me...this is a country that dearly loves making fun of itself, and that's why so many top comedians have come from Canada and later found a lucrative niche in Hollywood.

Rich Little. John Candy. Dan Akroyd. Catherine O'Hara. Tommy Chong. Wayne and Shuster. Jim Carrey. Dave Thomas. Rick Moranis. Eugene Levy. Andrea Martin. And many others whose names I can't quite dredge up at the moment.

"Hey, let's be nice, eh?" is definitely one of the top Canadian 10 Commandments. Good contribution, Mrrzy.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:39 PM

All fiddle tunes shall be played in the key of "eh."

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: GUEST,Terry McDonald
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:38 PM

Doesn't it have to be Québec?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:36 PM

ok

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: frogprince
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:35 PM

Nope; all of them have to be in both French and English. In Quebec, the French has to be first, in larger print.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: beardedbruce
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM

Don't half of them have to be in French?

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:29 PM

#2 - Subset: Not debatable. Everybody knows that the US is to blame. For everything.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:26 PM

Now, LH - why should anyone say anything negative about Canada? Certain Canadians (and Canadiennes) perhaps.

OK, Mrzzy started.
2) Never say anything good about the nation to the south, except for an occasional comment about the weather.

Subject: RE: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Mrrzy
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:19 PM

1) Hey, let's be nice, eh?
2-10: See #1

Subject: BS: 10 Commandments of Canada???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 07 - 01:14 PM

If there were 10 Commandments that Canadian life would be based on...what would they be? I'm a Canadian and I want to know, okay?

Canadians AND non-Canadians are welcome to participate in composing this list. Don't hold back, please! I want to hear every silly and demeaning stereotype there is in people's minds about Canadians. Even the really insulting ones. Yesiree. Go for broke. What goofy thoughts, what extremely unlikely mythology pops instantly into your mind when you hear the word "Canada"?

This thread is in response to the "10 Commandments - West Virginia style" thread.

It's hardly fair that Wes Ginny should get ALL the attention and abuse after all, is it? Let's give Canada a go...