Third Joke Thread for 2007

Subject: RE: Third Joke Thread for 2007
From: Wilfried Schaum
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 11:43 AM

Continued with Fourth Joke Thread for 2007

Subject: RE: Third Joke Thread for 2007
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 26 Jul 07 - 12:56 PM

Mrzzy: in response to earlier request.

Two souls were ascending to heaven, when they passed two eagles.
"Ah, eagles" said the souls.
The eagles were too polite to reply!


How do you know when you've passed an elephant?
You can't get the toilet seat down!


What's harder than getting a pregnant elephant in the back seat of a Mini?
Getting an elephant pregnant in the back seat of a Mini!

Subject: RE: Third Joke Thread for 2007
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 27 Jul 07 - 04:01 AM

I think this insults just about everyone!

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved."
Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross."
Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists themselves have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bl**dy Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bl**dy Nuisance" warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of alert.

Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose."

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The Swiss, as always, have taken the phone off the hook.


RtS