BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....

Subject: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 05:52 PM

This was forwarded to me from my "commie mommie"...

          "Canada has an Immigration Problem Too"

The flood or American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush are prompting the exodus among left- leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommmon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing the fields at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, shoes acerage borders North Dakota. "he producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfiled erected higher fences but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not really effective," he said, "The liberals still got though and Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are perticurly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves.

"A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions,' an Ontaroi patrolman said, "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Npa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been ciculating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be required to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingeious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Cnadian perscription drugs. After catching half a dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Candian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizing the supposed senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the 50's.

"If they can't identify the accordian player on Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Saradon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals but the Canadian economy just can't support them," one Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors doen one country need."

                            The End

Yeah, I'm sure that LH could have written this one a well or better but, hey???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 05:58 PM

ROTFLMAO!

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Emma B
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 06:00 PM

another keyboard gone! - nice one :)

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: jacqui.c
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 06:02 PM

Kendall liked this one so much he's sending it to his Republican buddies.

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: kendall
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 06:06 PM

After correcting about a dozen spelling mistakes. Can't give them any ammunition you know.

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Bobert
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 06:11 PM

Only a half a dozen, Capt'n??? I'm gettin' better at this typin' ain't I???

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 07:43 PM

Not as many as during the Vietnam debacle. I remember them rolled in blankets at night in my basement, almost wall to wall. Never stayed long; lots of jobs for the educated.
At the time, Canada was not shooing them back if they had any skills. They filled all of the university and teaching staff vacancies for some time.
All retired now and subsisting on their pensions.

Locally we are short of skilled workmen, but not many come here; this group tends to be right wing.

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Nov 07 - 08:50 PM

Are there any good Susan Sarandon movies??????

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: JeZeBeL
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 10:16 AM

So if I want to immigrate to Canada....my best bet is to fly to the states and run across a field...


ROTFLMAO!!!

That's very good....I like that one a lot...passed to my mother's cousin in Nova Scotia already!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Charmion
Date: 23 Nov 07 - 10:33 AM

Sitting here in Ottawa, I'm not laughing. Canada's immigration problem is lots of educated people want to come and do, and end up under- or unemployed because their qualifications aren't recognized by the closed shops in this country. We have thousands of people looking for a family doctor while qualified MDs from the old Soviet bloc and the Third World are working for pharmaceutical companies in drug sales because their licences are no good here. Nurses, engineers, teachers -- you name it, if the occupation requires a licence, immigrants who worked in that occupation in their country of origin won't be working in it here.

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 12:51 AM

Carmion, I'm assuming that Canada, like other 'old' Commonwealth countries, adheres to the British standards and requires doctors not trained to those standards to prove their competence. This seems to be very hard to do, even for someone who has English as a first language.
I know an American doctor who has failed twice, and several asiatic doctors who have done likewise.

Subject: RE: BS: Canada's Immigration Problem....
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 24 Nov 07 - 08:36 AM

What Charmion says is very true. Our trip over there a couple of years ago was, in part, to consider emigration but the amount of problems we would have to face arranging employment (I am a UK qualified teacher) was a real barrier and without the guarentee of work we decided to stay put.