the bad cabbage and stewberry

Subject: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: GUEST,mr. chuckleface
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:37 PM

The bad cabbage and stewberry are looking for a rental on the Pacific Island of Gibralter and do not want to pay anymore then $1000 a month (cash) and will be holding a biscuit and burger party (March 16, '08)there for all Mudcat denizens. Please bring aunt Mitilda and purple grape cider. Also bring any and all Old Crow Medicine Show boots, two bangoes without thyroid problems and a heaping dash of people that look like Alfred E. Neuman. Also please plan to attend the seminar on Dante and the Lady of the Harbor. Thanks to one and all and spread the message wide.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:40 PM

Can make no sense whatsoever of that gobbledegook, but one thing is certain. Gibraltar isn't an Island, and it's NOT in the Pacific.
G

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: GUEST,chuckleface
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:42 PM

stewberry agrees with you, but please stay away from the raspberry wine. we're trying to wash his shirt but it still looks like your left intestine.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: GUEST,mr chuckleface
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 04:50 PM

oh yeah, don't worry, we got it out..that'll be 1000 dollars, enuff to pay for rent and the party's on. sorry you can't come..no dour socialists invited. also, do you have musical skills or are you still imitating PP&M? they're kool, but you gotta learn how to spell.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:33 PM

"...heaping dash of people that look like Alfred E. Neuman. "

We have a used president we can offer for the occasion....

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:45 PM

The hull is used but the brain has barely been used atoll (keeping with the island pun. . .)

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Jan 08 - 05:59 PM

No pun is an island

Apologies to John Donne.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: SINSULL
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 02:26 PM

I didn't know that banjos had thyroids.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Leadfingers
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 02:50 PM

MY Banjos dont have any thyroid problems !

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Becca72
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 03:03 PM

has someone been sniffing glue again?

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: maeve
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 05:11 PM

It's meant to be the story of "The Berry Bad Cabbage Stew"

Once upon a thyme...

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Jan 08 - 05:22 PM

some these participants seem to be 'partially' sage.

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: SINSULL
Date: 18 Jan 08 - 04:39 PM

Meatberry Pie
by Amy Guskin and Paul Nordquist

My grandmother's famous blackberry pie has always been a winner
So I made it for the Biweekly Vegetarian Co-op Thursday Pot Luck Dinner
Well, the wise old vegan master said "dessert first, that's my motto"
But when he took his first bite, he turned greener than an avocado!
He spat it out, and rinsed out his mouth and said words I can't repeat
But to paraphrase: "these berries are impure, not fit for us to eat"

Well everybody was staring at me like they thought I was satanic
I said "how can that be, the berries are certified USDA organic?"
He said "they may be certified but my taste buds never lie
There are genes transplanted from a cow in this blackberry pie"
Well everyone was up in arms and said it was absurd
So we decided to go to that berry farm and make our voices heard

"We don't want meatberry pie or hogapple sauce
Or cucumbers crossed with snails
Don't give us veggie-veal, or fishy-corn meal,
Or grapes with blubber from whales!
If you offer me oats with genes from goats
Then I will just say 'see ya!'
Although you might not die
From a meatberry pie
It's a berry bad idea!"

Well we got to the farm, and marched right in, but we couldn't believe our eyes
There were combination veggie-beasts of every shape and size
We saw carrot-ducks, zucchini-sheep, and frog-wheat running loose
They had wranglers roping berry-cows -- their whips were stained with juice
They'd mixed pelican with melon to make a songbird called 'pel canto'
And a flightless cabbage-chicken that was worthy of Monsanto
Shortly, we were face to face with the head of the operation
We said, "Mister, stop this travesty of genetic combination!

We don't want meatberry pie or hogapple sauce
Or cucumbers crossed with snails
Don't give us veggie-veal, or fishy-corn meal,
Or grapes with blubber from whales!
If you offer me oats with genes from goats
Then I will just say 'see ya!'
Although you might not die
From a meatberry pie
It's a berry bad idea!"

I thought we'd made an impact with our frank and honest talk
But when I shook his hand, it was a green and leafy stalk
Yes he was 25% broccoli, and 100% nuts!
He laughed an evil laugh and said "My squash can kick your butts.
There's no one who can stop me. Soon I'll be in all your meals!"
We turned and ran right out of there, with soy-dogs at our heels

Well, we grow all our own food now, at our quaint New England farm
You can see it at our web site, live-meat-free-or-die.com
It takes a lot of extra work, but there's one thing that we're sure of
We don't want those extra bits of fauna in our flora

We don't want meatberry pie or hogapple sauce
Or cucumbers crossed with snails
Don't give us veggie-veal, or fishy-corn meal,
Or grapes with blubber from whales!
If you offer me oats with genes from goats
Then I will just say 'see ya!'
Although you might not die
From a meatberry pie
It's a berry bad idea!
It's a berry, berry, berry, cow, berry, berry, berry bad idea!

Subject: RE: the bad cabbage and stewberry
From: Art Thieme
Date: 19 Jan 08 - 04:40 PM

I have one grunch, but the eggplant over there. And peppermeat rolls if you give it a kick.

I do hope the dormant gookum envelops you all!

Art