BS: Staying on topic in threads.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:01 PM

She's got it. Rare garlic on a stake with anchovies and some Buckley's as a chaser.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: autolycus
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:05 PM

I wanna know if Buckley's thingy is available in the UK?; whether it comes with a Topic?; why did Lord Buckley have to die so soon?; did he take the syrup?; and how do you thread your way out?

or is it all like the Mama bear and Daddy Bear who had a baby son who was hairless, so they called him Thread.


(No hurry - i have time.)

   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:05 PM

It's not a vegetarian steak-away is it

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:13 PM

Vegetarian all the way--made from wood.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:15 PM

Rare stakes.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:15 PM

He opined

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:23 PM

Did knot!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:29 PM

Silly me. I thought y'all was talkin' about rare snakes.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:32 PM

I ain't gonna say what that looks like. Nope. Not at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:33 PM

. . . but it should be labelled XXXX.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 04:46 PM

Lord Buckley had the riff down. He was old man riffer.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:34 PM

"And the NAZ said, "DIG INFINITY! And they DUG it!...'-Lord Buckley

Did you bring any weapons with the anchovies? Then you ain't changin' nuthin'...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8M1KiXWWTxg&feature=related


Posing the observation that "staying on topic' for some, means staying on MY TOPIC! Proof that "rowing the boat in the same direction", or "being on the same page" can have completely different meanings depending on which boat or page you are on...

"And you're right from your side, and I'm right from mine..."-Dylan
"First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin..." -Leonard Cohen

And as we elect "another President" for "real change" do yas think there will be no more war, poverty, etc.?

"We all have inner demons to conquer. What are they Sifu? Fear, Hatred and Anger, if we can do this, a life of one day is a triumph. otherwise our lifetime is a tragedy..." (para: Sifu to a young Bruce Lee, from Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story)

"I certainly hope that my book will help everyone to enjoy this wonderful game..."-Bobby Fischer, from "Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess" Did he go off topic? Or was he always on topic, one way or the other?

I checked to see if a Pizza Place would deliver to Burma. No Go...bob

p.s. Did I stay on topic? In my own strange way, I hope so...

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:40 PM

I get the feeling that somebody isn't taking this topic seriously!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:41 PM

Wait! I'm starting to understand what the topic of this thread is!

Look at the hints: garlic, anchovies, bicycle seats, two-headed snakes, skim milk, eggs, raisin bread, peas. The topic is obviously "Things Keith Richards has snorted!"

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Megan L
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 05:43 PM

Close laddie very close

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:08 PM

Keith Richards! "And each pirate only ever votes for hisself..."The code(topic) is the law! Right on topic!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EnOjGuQkNs
See. That first clown went off topic, and look what happened to him!
Ya just don't do that when 'ol Keith has a pistol in his hand...
Even after snortin' all dem anchovies while at sea, he can still shoot straight. And who among us can say the same?
bob

Oh yeah. Way back up the thread: Paradiddles. Love 'em. But not on my pizza. Rather practice my konokol: TA KI TA/TA KA DI MI TA KI TA...from India, lotsa bicycles there. With seats. Made of leather...Right on topic....
Not take this topic/thread seriously? PSHAW... Are you callin' me a seriously?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:28 PM

I'm not sure if Keith has ever snorted a paradiddle, but since the list of things Keith hasn't snorted is way shorter than the list of things he has, it's not unlikely.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:37 PM

I know a guy who's girlfriend's hairdresser's cousin's brother-in-law's best friend once saw Keith Richards snort himself. Turned himself inside out, kept snorting, and disappeared completely.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:43 PM

Aw, shit. What happened to the anchovies?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:46 PM

anchovies
anchovies
. garlic .
anchovies

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:46 PM

Well, yes and no, eanjay.

At least I'm making some progress!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:47 PM

I agree with you for the most part.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Slag
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:50 PM

"Chamber's is wrong, of course. They just haven't got the balls to stand up to misspellers. They just record.:-)"

No... Chambers is RIGHT. Just as fo'c's'le is accurate for forecastle, focussed is accurate for folk cussed, only he left the "'" out as it should read "fo'cussed".   That's cussed hard to explain to you folks and folkies and I also must admit that the grammatical construction is awkward to say the least but, Uh, what were we talking about?

Peace, Bob! We surrender! Keep your garlic and anchovy breath at home....PUH-LEEEZE!

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 07:55 PM

There SHOULD be roads on the ocean floor.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Janie
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:45 PM

During storm surges there often are.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:57 PM

Slag: Join us! You too can be loved by cats and feared by vampires...Try it. You'll like it!
Since the topic of staying on topic has transmogrefied to roads on the ocean floor, man would that be something to see. Thousands of years go by, sunken ships, Atlantis?
Driving to Europe in Jeeps. The ocean contained in one HUGE water bottle, floating over the earth. Where is Salvador Dali when you need him?
You might laugh, but it's simple threads like this that are opening new worlds of communication by which we may be able to save ourselves from destruction. We can talk and open dialogues never before seen in the history of mankind. You can be here on Mudcat, but there is no reason you cannot communicate with world leaders through threads and blogs. Diseases? What if some herbalist in China can reveal his discoveries to a Doctor at Johns Hopkins, who connects with a financier who is willing to fund untried ways to cure Cancer?
Crash of the U.S. Economy? The reason? FEAR. We live in abundance. It is our THOUGHTS of loss that create panic, where there should be none.
Convince 1 billion people to focus their thoughts(stay on topic) that world hunger can no longer be tolerated, and that would be fixed in a week.
Albert Einstein once posed the question," Is this an abundant Universe? A question that can only have one answer. Thereby supporting the fact that we create our own reality...
My old friend Gerry Frechette and I used to talk about God back in High School. And one night we came to the conclusion that it might be possible that mankind is merely cells and microbes in the bloodstream of a larger human, and/or organism. That which we call God.(As above, so below) And this would continue infinitely. Or until, as Paramahansa Yogananda used to say, "We all return to the Cosmic Mother."
Peace & Blessings to you all...OM
bob

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on Top Picks in threads.
From: Severn
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 08:59 PM

"Somewhere over the Rambo
Skies are blue
Birds fly over the Rambo
Why the hell don't you....."

(or however that movie theme song goes. I'm waiting for the Broadway Musical, myself)


My topic of the moment is the Topic Of "Can't, Sir"
Dey tol' me ah should get on Chemo. Turns out they was talkin' 'bout mah singin'! Dey tol' me de best cure fo' me would hangin' upside down in a barn, like tobacco. Only that old tattletale, Time, will tell....

I got some good recordings off Topic. They put out some good albums. Nothing by Topic Shaker, that dead Rap scallion guy, though....

Some like the Top Picks, but I root for the guys that go undrafted...

I know that over here we have topics, but over in the UK, I thought they had subjects, God Save The Queen.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 27 Jan 08 - 09:23 PM

Find the Blue Buddha...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=glKPFZNMPTY&feature=related

bob

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: autolycus
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 01:37 AM

"Anchovy,anchovy,they've all got it anchovy!!!"

Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: open mike
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 03:22 AM

wow--what stream-of-consciousness....




blather.....


i was afraid someone was chiding me for my oft-off-topic
posts, but i see there are others much more masterful
at this art

irrelevant


irreverant



i'll take mine with pesto
please
thank you
you're welcome

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Newport Boy
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 05:28 AM

For topic drift, I like the old postcard joke:

Two drunks with a stadium in the background.

First Drunk: Ish thish Wembley?

Second Drunk: No, itsh Thursday.

First Drunk: Sho am I. Let'sh have another one.

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 06:03 AM

I'm not as thunk as some drinkle peep I am.
Merely under the affluence of incahol.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 07:06 AM

The Topics is the name given to one of Aristotle's six standard works on logic, collectively known as the Organon. The Topics was written as a textbook on how to argue successfully. Topoi are basic principles designed to help a disputant win arguments.

I thought this (from Wikipedia) might help me .......... but I suppose it isn't on topic:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 07:35 AM

Organon was a pharmaceutical company who manufactured contraceptive pills about 20 years ago.... made laugh hysterically every time I heard that Kate Bush song that starts 'I'm still dreaming of Organon'.....

Wasn't Topoi in 'Fiddler on the Roof'?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Jean(eanjay)
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 07:43 AM

Can contraceptive pills be taken on an empty stomach or would you need to eat some anchovies first?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:03 AM

Sounds like a case for the three wise men from the oestrogen.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:06 AM

Anchovies.

They are your friends. Join them. Do not be afeared.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 08:53 AM

That's the Dorset County motto nearly... 'who's afear'd'

It comes with a picture of a big red dragon. No anchovies.

The Romans ate a lot of anchovies. Dorset was invaded by Vespasian's army, presumably with a lot of anchovies.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Tweed
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 09:40 AM

Don't know about the anchovies but we could have a garlic singaround just for an experiment. There's a lot of talk about it in the Music Threads section and I'm not sure yet what a garlic song sung by a non garlic singer would be about though unless it would be an anti-garlic attack thing and no doubt the non-garlickers want to subdue the trend.

Furthermore, I think it's completely unfair to single out garlic eaters who might otherwise enjoy singing about garlic, and they are most likely more knowledgable anyhow being as they like to have it on cereal, pancakes and just about anything really. It's important to sing from the heart and they say garlic is good for it, so therefore I ask: Who can carry a tune better, the Garlickers or the Non-Garlickers??

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 10:02 AM

Jokes. We need parrot jokes.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 10:11 AM

Oh the big ship sails on the alley allium♪
The alley allium, The alley allium
The big ship sails on the alley allium
On the last day of September.

Clove me Tender ♫

Garlic Songs?

G

A Norwegian Blue Anchovy perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 11:20 AM

Just for you PEACE. This was written by me many years ago and has been used in similar jokes since....some of them still get back to me in corrupted form.
                   THE POWER OF PRAYER.(or The Wayward Parrot)

Mrs Brown had a wayward parrot,
A pretty young thing called Flo.
Who was always swearing and talking
In sexual innuendo!

She went for tea with the Pastor,
One Sunday evening last year.
Where she saw his old porrot praying,
Which gave her a clever idea.

She asked the Pastor at tea time,
"Can I borrow your old parrot Rex,
To try to influence my parrot Flo.
Who talks of nothing but sex?"

She took Rex home the same evening,
He prayed all the way in the car.
She was so impressed by the old bird,
Whose manners outshone Flos by far.

But when she put Rex in Flos cage,
She realised her greatest fears.
Flo said "Do you want some Rex"? and Rex said
I've been praying for this for years!!!!!

Bruce..if you want some more joke poetry..pm me. Best wishes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Bob Ryszkiewicz
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 11:44 AM

So this parrot is sitting in his cage, and in a few weeks, he begins shouting, "I'm bored! I'm bored! His owner buys him some toys, but the bird rejects everything. Frustrated that everytime he passes the bird, the bird keeps shouting, I'm bored!
Hoping to communicate, his owner finally asks him. All Right! What do you want?!
The parrot says, "A Pet!" So the owner goes out and buys him an anchovie for a pet. The bird immediately calms down and begins to talk to the anchovie while the owner isn't around.
They decide that they will form a band. The parrot wants to go Folk. The anchovie wants to Rock. The anchovie can sing and write, but the parrot only knows how to play the guitar, but he's pretty good.
Soon the anchovie shouts out. "Listen. I've written an album, it's from the heart and it's about how I feel, I want to call it "Slippery when Wet." Jealous at the anchovies creativity, the parrot begins to argue. "That's the most ridiculous title for an album that I have ever heard." It won't get any airplay. We need to copy the humans and come up with something like Dylan, or Gordon Lightfoot.
So an insane argument erupts with the parrot and the anchovie yelling at each other, the parrot shouting Folk!. The anchovie Rock!
This turns into a fight with feathers everywhere, and when the owner comes home, the parrot is alone in the cage with a smile on his face.
The owner asks the parrot "Where's the anchovie that I got you for a pet?"
The parrot says nothing.
The owner begins yelling at the parrot, "What happened to the anchovie?"
The parrot breaks down, and for the first time begins to talk to the owner and tells him the whole story.
The parrot tells him "Look, he wanted to Rock and I was into Folk, and, and, he had written this Rock album with a stupid title I didn't like, and I was willing to compromise, but he wouldn't listen. I had this great name for the group, but he didn't like it, so we fought and, and, ..."
The owner asks the parrot, what was the name you came up with?
The parrot tearfully blurts out, "Bon Chovie", then I ate him, boo hoo hoo....
There there, the owner responds, what's done is done.
Hey, the owner says, now that you have started to talk, how about a slice of nice hot garlic pizza? The parrot takes his first bite and says to the owner, "you know what this would have been great with...?" The owner replies, "Pepperoni?".
bob
And so the moral of the story is "one man's Bon-Chovie is another man's Pepperoni," Or you could always go for Chinese...

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: GUEST,Peace
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 11:47 AM

Thank you both. GS, that is a great song. THANK you. It should be a



LYRIC ADD

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 01:46 PM

Milk has so much Bovine Growth hormone added that children who drink it daily do in fact ract to the growth hormone in musch the same way as HGH

Sadly it causes the cows much pain and puss producing infections on their teats. Then they up the antibiotic in the cows which beef cattle get routinely since it does cause early maturity to full weight saving a week on cattle feed by slaughter time.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 01:51 PM

Whilst we are on the subject of sheep....if you have trouble sleeping it is recommended that you count sheep.....the best possible way of doing this is counting their legs and dividing by four.

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: autolycus
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 01:53 PM

Parrot jokes as requested - so must be on topic.

Two friends meet. One's looking very down and the other asks what's wrong.

It's my parrot.

What's the matter with it.

It's stopped talking.

Well, you see, parrots are like people. They like a change of surroundings from time to time. Why don't you move the stuff in his cage - see if that cheers him up.

His friend says he'll give it a go.

They meet again a coupla weeks later, but the parrot-owner looks worse.

Has something happened - you look terrible.

It's the parrot.

What now?

it's dead.

Dead?! Whay, what happened?

He fell off his perch.

Ah, so you moved the furniture in his cage. Did that at least get him to talk.

Oh yes, he said, "Who moved me flaming ladder !!?"


   Ivor

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 02:04 PM

A postal carrier is working on a new beat. He comes to a garden gate marked BEWARE OF THE PARROT! He looks down the garden and, sure enough, there's a parrot sitting on its perch. He has a little chuckle to himself at the sign and the parrot there on its perch. The mailman opens the gate and walks into the garden. He gets as far as the parrot's perch, when suddenly, it calls out: "REX, ATTACK!"

Polynesia: Memory loss in parrots.

Chirpes: A canarial disease...no tweetment.

Polygram Records, Warner Brothers and Keebler: New company will be called Poly-Warner-Cracker.


I'll get me coat

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 02:15 PM

OK. Thanks to you all for the parrot jokes. Now, could we PLEEZE get back to the thread topic?

Subject: RE: BS: Staying on topic in threads.
From: Peace
Date: 28 Jan 08 - 02:16 PM

This IS the thread about the proper way to stuff a chesterfield, isn't it?