BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?

Subject: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 05:14 PM

PORTLAND, Maine (AP) - The Cumberland County Sheriff's Office is looking for a man with a mustache who is pulling in front of female drivers and then jumping out of his vehicle while wearing women's underwear, a garter belt and black high-heel boots. Since last spring, there have been six reports about the cross-dressing motorist. The most recent incident was last Sunday. The episodes have occurred in the Standish-Buxton area.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Ebbie
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 05:16 PM

Cellar, Kendall! :)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 05:20 PM

What does he DO once he's out of the car?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 05:33 PM

Tells them a story of course

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 06:09 PM

I told jacqui that she let the Capt'n keep his boat...

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 06:17 PM

Nah, if that were Kendall, he'd surely be wearing The Coat.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: SussexCarole
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 06:51 PM

Eeeekkkk...that's the guy who's been singing on the CD I've been playing in the car. Great voice so what's your problem?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 06:57 PM

Growing the beard only made me look silly.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 06:59 PM

Who whas thhhat mahsked lohbstah anahwhay?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 07:36 PM

He only does it when he's feelin' Standish and lookin' fer someone Buxton, I reckon.


A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: ClaireBear
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 07:50 PM

I'm sure Amos can hear my groans, even from 450 miles away.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Morticia
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 08:04 PM

I bet that damned llama put him up to it.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Charley Noble
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 08:50 PM

It's a real story and it's really challenging for us who live in the State of Maine and have a liberal persuasion. We have to figure out how to react to some creative man who decides to cross dress and who runs young women off the road and then parades in front of them scantily clad. It sounds like a traffic hazard. But it also sounds aggressive rather than just a need for display.

I do hope he's not shot by some self rightious idot. But he probably does need some counseling, or a better agent.

I don't think Kendall is involved.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Sorcha
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 08:54 PM

Look, Kendall HAS a better agent! Her name is Jacqui! Kendall has better taste too.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 10:16 PM

Yeah, you're right Sorch. That's the kind of gig Jacqui would book, no matter how desperate things get.

Unless he's moonlighting on her?



A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 10:27 PM

Well, if Jacqui's doing the booking, and Amos said it was the sort of thing she'd book ("That's the kind of gig Jacqui would book"), it's probably not Kendall. She'd never let him do that.

It's probably a body double.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 11:13 PM

My typo -- I yam sorry. It should have read "that's NOT the kind of gig Jacqui would book...".

Thank you SO much for correcting me, Rapaire.(.*&^&%... (the rest of this message was deemed improper for publication in mixed company...)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 11:32 PM

I saw Kendall Saturday & he was wearing THE COAT, I even hugged him to get a feel, it felt good too but I can't say for sure what he was wearing under it, I can only say that he was wearing something under it & it was held up by a belt & he had boots on & a hat on too, thank God.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 08 - 11:57 PM

Actually, anyone who runs around Portland in anything other than long johns, Sorels, wool pants and shirt, mackinaw, heavy gloves,and a hat with earflaps deserves the frostbite they're gonna get.

And I ain't sure, but I think Kendall ain't that dumb.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 01:59 AM

Well, we know he ain't dumb 'cause he married Jacqui (ain't to sure about Jacqui though) BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT JACKET,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, he's been walking around Portland in?

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 05:09 AM

WTF is a mackinaw? I thought it only existed in the song about the Logger Lover.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 05:41 AM

A mackinaw is pretty much the same as a Humphrey Jacket, Giok.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:01 AM

Rapaire, you have just listed all the reasons I live south of the Mason-Dixon line (and I don't even know what the *@#$ a mackinaw IS!).

It ain't RIGHT, I tell you! The wonder isn't that ONE poor sucker dropped his basket, the wonder's that MORE of y'all don't do it by this time of year!

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Becca72
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:16 AM

who is that unmasked man?



Check out the police sketch of the "perp"

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:24 AM

WTF is a Humphrey Jacket g?

G.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:28 AM

It's like the jackets Filson or Woolrich make. Sort of like an Alaska Tuxedo outfit.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:54 AM

When the writers go on strike we have to make our own entertainment.

Is anyone familiar with the legend of "Springheel Jack" in England?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 12:58 PM

Oh my god it's Jacqui with a false moustache!

It was cold last Sunday, too cold to be running around in underwear.

This is one of the reasons I live in Maine - that sort of thing is so common in NYC, no one even calls the police when it happens. Here it makes the front page of the papers. I remember a very cold snowy night in NY when I walked to my car and a guy backed up the one way street, jumped out, opened his coat exposing a hairy naked body and did a little dance. I turned and went back up the street laughing.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 01:09 PM

If he'd only been a banjo player Mary!
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 01:24 PM

He was swangin and twangin?

Giok... Like a Carharrt's coat, but with a red and black check.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 01:32 PM

You mean a padded work shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 02:36 PM

No padding... just thick, tight wool. When I was a lad, we didn't have 6-in-1 hi-tech parkas and pants with "layering" and Thinsulate and breathable but waterproof this and that. We had wool Humphrey jackets and pants over thick cotton longjohns and t-shirts (unless Dad had some old wool underwear from his army days that he didn't want to wear anymore). And we played and rolled around in the snow for hours on end. Simpler days. Good days.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 02:39 PM

Oh.... I forgot... I got my first Doeskin shirt when I was twelve. I "graduated" to being a big boy. I wouldn't let Mum wash it after I got is smelling of woodsmoke from a cookfire.

Kendall... you know of what I speak? Doeskin shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 02:43 PM

From the police sketch, it looks a hell of a lot more like my ex-husband (thirty years ago) than it looks like Kendall today.

I wouldn't put ANYTHING past my ex-husband.

(Never marry someone because you're in love with his FATHER.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 02:46 PM

I won't Linn

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:05 PM

I don't know the term "Doeskin". Is it like chamois? Our chamois shirts are not relly chamois, they are heavy cotton.

Where I come from, a Mackinaw is a heavy wool coat something like a Navy Pei coat.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:12 PM

Moleskin they call it here I think.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:14 PM

"Never marry someone because you're in love with their FATHER"

Have you seen my wife's father, he's been dead for sometime now, didn't look all that hot when he was alive either.

Kendall doesn't wear a mackinaw, that's a bit to outdoorsman, even though he is an outdoorsman, he wears a leather, the softest of leathers I might add too. He got many a hugs at the getaway cause of that jacket & from the men too. Not a full length leather mind you & not quite 3/4 lenth either but a bit to long to be called half length, so maybe a 5/8ths, I believe belted too, nice collar, great buttons, can't remember if it sported lapels or not, I'll check that out next time I see him. I'm sure he'll be wearing it. 'e's been known to wear it river fly fishing at high noon in August cause 'e don't look good naked anymore, even sings that 'emself, 'e does. This is Jacqui speak.

That picture doesn't look at all like Kendall but it does resemble Amos a bit.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:17 PM

Lots of things resemble Amos

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:52 PM

Giok:

You err, you oaf.

Although many of people's uncharitable projections of and toward me are identical (just as all turds look alike after they've been a week in the cesspool) the truth is nothing looks anything like my Inner Self. It is inimitable. Just like yours, only minus the haggis.


A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 03:56 PM

Sorry to hear your haggis has been removed Mr J, it would account for the snug fit of your pants though.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Big Mick
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 04:02 PM

I'll bet that guy pulls off the garter/fishnet thing pretty well. Last time I tried it, there were a dozen cars in the ditch, two heart attacks, and they called out the National Guard. I really need to get some weight off.............

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 04:22 PM

Mary Lou, who unlocked the cellar?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 05:08 PM

Yes, Kendall. Them's the ones.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 05:55 PM

I hadn't thought that it might be Amos.

He's pretty tech-savvy, even if he does use a Mac. He could stay home in La-La Land, prancing around in the native costume and do a holographic projection, sort of like the thing Prince Chuckles did recently. The vehicle could be driven by remote control.

Someone tell the Portland police I've solved the case for them, please.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 05:56 PM

Oh, yeah -- Kendall, yes, I'm aware of the tale of Spring-Heel Jack. I think that might have also been Amos.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 06:27 PM

Many theories have been proposed to ascertain the nature and identity of Spring Heeled Jack. The urban legend of Spring Heeled Jack gained immense popularity in its time due to the tales of his bizarre appearance and ability to make extraordinary leaps, to the point where he became the topic of several works of fiction.

Spring Heeled Jack was described by people claiming to have seen him as having a terrifying and frightful appearance, with diabolical physiognomy that included clawed hands and eyes that "resembled red balls of fire". One report claimed that, beneath a black cloak, he wore a helmet and a tight-fitting white garment like an "oilskin". Many stories also mention a "Devil-like" aspect. Spring Heeled Jack was said to be tall and thin, with the appearance of a gentleman, and capable of making great leaps. Several reports mention that he could breathe blue and white flames and that he wore sharp metallic claws at his fingertips. At least two people claimed that he was able to speak in comprehensible English.

THis of course rules out Kendall, and Rapaire. It might have been me, but you will recall that several people here n the 'Cat have complained my English was incomprehensible.

A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 06:34 PM

It's Jacqui - look really closely. Wig and fake moustache. And I know for a fact that she is not to home these days.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 07:37 PM

Barry, I gave up fly fishing. They are too hard to skin.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 08:06 PM

Well, Kendall, first ya gotta nail their head to stump.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 09 Feb 08 - 11:59 PM

the flies or the fish?

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Big Mick
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 12:12 AM

yes.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:05 AM

I like a good fish fry.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 07:06 AM

the fly. Gutting them is no easy task either.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:38 AM

I always used to carry a legnth of butcher cord. If you tie one hind leg to an alder, it's slick.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:36 AM

"The man apparently wears black thigh-high stockings, a garter belt and a camisole, in addition to the boots.

He is described as white, 5 feet 11 inches tall and in his late 20s or early 30s, with brown hair, a mustache and a thin build. Although the composite sketch shows a somewhat effeminate face, investigators say it is definitely a man."

They know it's a man because none of the items of clothing listed above would cover his peeper...he's a-gonna get frost bite.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:40 AM

Ain't a lot worse a man can experience than when a certain part gets frostbite. The thawin' out...unless he's also got clap at the same time. I kinda suspect that would enhance the pain a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:41 AM

What the hell is a camisole?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:44 AM

Well that proves it warnt him. You can't be dancing around in a lacy thing not knowing what it is called, can you? "G'morning. I really enjoyed last night. Have you seen my wallet? Oh and by the way, what are you called?"

"I am called Camisole, m'sieur. "



A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:45 AM

Like a mackinaw but thinner.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Big Mick
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 11:59 AM

LMAO

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 12:29 PM

Camisole
From Wikipedia:
A camisole or cami is a woman's undergarment which covers the top part of the body. It is sleeveless and tight fitting in contrast to a loose-fitting chemise. A camisole is sometimes worn cropped allowing midriff exposure, but often covers the entire torso. Camisoles are manufactured from satin or silk, or stretch materials such as lycra, nylon, or spandex, though cotton based materials are more common.

A camisole can be worn over a brassiere or without one. Some camisoles come with a built-in underwire bra which eliminates the need for a bra among those who prefer one. Recently, camisoles have been known to be used as outerwear.[1]

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 12:36 PM

The things you learn from your kids eh!
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 12:49 PM

A peeper???? LOL A peeper?
Is that what your Daddy calls it?
This is just too much! Are the other bits his glasses?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:01 PM

Maybe he wears them on the end of his nose Mary.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 01:28 PM

I don't generally tend to talk about penises with my father, Sins, but that is my word for it, not his....that I know of... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:22 PM

I know more obscene names for the penis than for any other part.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: gnu
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:38 PM

Do I detect some thread drip about to happen?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:46 PM

Nah, I don't think he's got the drip.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Midchuck
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 03:50 PM

I know more obscene names for the penis than for any other part.

Well, any other part of the male, yes.

Peter

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:13 PM

I'll just bet "Peeper" heads that list. Why do I find that so funny? Ding Dong, Whoo Whoo...but peeper?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:39 PM

Well, SINS, you've probably never run into this, but it sometimes finds it way out and peeps at the world, if you are wearing loose clothes....I am sure no-one has ever shared this little trivial piece of information with you before...


LOL!!!



A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 04:42 PM

Do you often wear Lou's clothes, and was it you in that camisole after all?
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 05:07 PM

Yeah, that moniker makes me giggle, too. I'm reminded of some morning-radio-show guy who was ranting and raving because he didn't understand why guys had to wash their hands after using the bathroom. He said "everything's CLEAN, for God's sake! Mr. Peeper spends all day in the cotton garage!!"

It still cracks me up, and I couldn't tell you why ; )

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: jacqui.c
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 06:05 PM

5 feet 11 inches tall

a thin build

Rules me out then.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Amos
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 06:51 PM

Occurs to me it may be a derivative from the "one-eyed Reilly" or "one-eyed trouser snake" epithet.


A

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: RangerSteve
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 06:55 PM

I have a picture of the guy described in Rapaire's article, and now when I listen to Kendall's tape, I'm going to picture this character. I'm sorry, Kendall. I don't wan't to, but it's Rapaire's fault.

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 07:22 PM

Hey, I'm closer to the Portland in Oregon than the one in Maine!

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 08:25 PM

Why me?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Feb 08 - 09:36 PM

That's exactly what I've been asking myself: Why me?

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Barry Finn
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 02:59 AM

Could a peeper be a hogeye, it's got one eye, it's blind & cannot see.

Dani, you might like to know that some males don't wash there hands after because they were trained & brought up not to piss on them in the first place.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 05:15 AM

Depending on what I've been doing, chopping chillies, changing engine oil, gutting fish, etc. I often wash my hands BEFORE going for a pee.
G

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 06:29 AM

Barry, you made me choke on my coffee.

I'm reminded of an evening of wing-eating that involved several guys seeing how hot they could stand them, moving up the charts.

At some point, my friend left for the bathroom, came back pale and wan and said, "Dudes, wash your hands first!"

Ah, good times, good times...

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: What's Kendall Been Up To Recently?
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Feb 08 - 09:05 AM

If you're pickling habaneros, don't play with the paper before you wipe unless you wash your hands very, very thoroughly first. A friend of mine learned this the hard way.