BS: Modern Courtship Rituals

Subject: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: eddie1
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:13 AM

Being rather long in the tooth, I am very much innocent of the modern courtship ritual. This is from choice as taking part in such a ritual once incited me to commit marriage.
Two evenings ago I attended the AGM of our local community radio group – all rather dubious individuals as they once again elected me to the Chair. At one point in the evening we were discussing studio equipment and various people had various items they were prepared to donate. I gave a lift home to an extremely attractive young lady and when we stopped outside her flat, she asked if I wanted to come up and see her microphones!
Has this replaced the rather old-fashioned etchings invitation? Did I miss out on something? She did give the added incentive that she had a lovely pair of Behringers. Is this another replacement of which I'm unaware?
I eagerly await help and enlightenment from my elders (well, some) and betters (probably most)

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:39 AM

Only married the once, Eddie? Hell, I've done it 4 times and I still don't understand how it happens. I put it down to the triumph of hope over experience.

As to whether you missed out on anything - you'll never know unless you call up the lady in question and ask her out - tell her you've got a large diaphram Neumann she can get her hands on.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:56 AM

eddie1 -

I don't know that it's a common "modern ritual," but quite a few years back the pretense used by a certain young lady - who shall be nameless but whose intitials might be LiK - was that she wanted to come up to my place to see my software.

Almost anything that suggests a "common interest" is probably a fair shot as a way of "getting acquainted." The hazard might be that she really might have had some microphones of which she was very proud, and it was just an interest-in-common and was a competely innocent offer.

In your case, it's most likely that the invitation to see her microphones was just a sneaky and underhanded ploy, and her real nefarious intent was to get your advice on how to setup the balance on the Behringers (were they the mixers or just amps? - it could mean either in my area).

She quite probably just wanted to use you for your (assumed) superior knowledge as an elder and more sophisticated gentleman.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 07:43 AM

I think these days women mostly grab when they want, and punch if they don't.

My daughter has told me it is always polite for a man and sensible for a woman to carry condoms. Modern manners, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:12 AM

I think that if someone offered to show me his software, I'd be a bit disappointed....

Now it if it were his hard drive....


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:24 AM

But surely Liz you could help him convert his floppy disc to a hard drive!
As someone who reaches his 60th Birthday shortly I am sometimes horrified by certain 'courtship rituals' such as those experienced outside school when I take my grandson each day. YOUNG single mums who are possibly looking for security make such blatant approaches offering themselves...their bodies...to me!!!! I believe I was good looking and a good prospect when I was younger but now...receding hair...wrinkles.....not a bad body as I work out regularly at the gym...but I cannot see what a younger woman would see in me. I am sure I am not the only one in this position and just wonder why it should be this way.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: theleveller
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:47 AM

Georgiansilver, can you give me the address of this school. On second thoughts, better not, mrsleveller is more than I can handle.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 09:55 AM

When a woman asks if you'd like to come up and see her microphones, just say "Shure!"

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:28 AM

'YOUNG single mums who are possibly looking for security make such blatant approaches offering themselves...their bodies...to me!!!!'


Georgian, sounds like ladies of the evening are working the morning shift near your son's school. Times must be hard.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 12:08 PM

Here in Idaho your grandparents first contact the Matchmaker....

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: PoppaGator
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:39 PM

Just as youth is so often wasted on the young, young single mums seem to be wasted on an aging and morally scrupulous Mudcatter!

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST,Jim Dixon
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 02:34 PM

I remember an incident that puzzled me back when I was "between wives." I made a date to meet a woman I was interested in for lunch. We lived far apart but we both worked downtown, and we both had busy schedules, so I set the date about a week in advance. On the day in question, I went to the agreed-upon restaurant and waited. She didn't show up!

The next time I saw her, I asked what happened. She said since I hadn't "called to confirm" she assumed the date was off.

Is this how it works nowadays? Are dates like airline reservations, and you have to call and confirm?

I was a bit annoyed, so I never called her again.

All's well that ends well, though, and I'm happy with my second wife.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 05:53 PM

I think, Jim, that that was female game playing. Best off out of it.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 06:54 PM

I always thought the male dropped one wing and ran around the female going "AWK! AWK!"

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:27 PM

As with humans, the bill comes later...

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 06:40 AM

This is as good a place as any to ask if any of you have experience (or friends with experience) with 'online dating'. NOT the kind outside schools : )

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 07:22 AM

A relative of mine used to pick up women in chatrooms and later consummate his plans. He visited and "knew" several women from iron curtain countries this way. All turned out to be women (!) and he is now married to a doctor from one such country as a result.

He has however been divorced several times with varying degrees of acrimony, so we wait with interest to see the outcome.

He must be about 60.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 10:11 AM

Richard -- that was an awful pun!! :D


A

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: open mike
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 04:10 PM

are these microphones dynamic? omni-directional? what sort of pick-up pattern might they have?

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Anne Lister
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 05:40 AM

I met my husband on line ....that was over seven years ago now. Prior to meeting him I had about six months of online dating and felt at the time I should probably write a book about some of my experiences.
One comment only for now - it was amazing to me how many of the men thought that when I asked for a photo, I wanted a photo of their genitalia. I wanted a photo so I could see if there was any level of attraction, and more practically so that I could recognise them in a public place if we were to meet. The other photos, while anatomically clear and focussed, weren't of any use to me. However my dear love Steve put his own slant on things and asked (this is within two days of chatting on line) if I'd like to see a "really dirty" picture of him. I had already worked out that he was decidedly more original than most of the others I'd met, so said yes - he sent me a picture of himself taken on the film set of "Lorna Doone" (where he'd played one of the Doones), fully costumed but caked in mud and cow pats after rolling around in a fight scene. That was a deciding factor in wanting a real meeting with him - and, for the record, five days after our first on line encounter he drove the 140 miles from his home in Cardiff to meet me in London for the evening, and drove home again that night. That was my last on line date - didn't need any more. It was real (and with him) all the way from then on.
As I said in a previous thread, isn't love wonderful?

Anne
still blissed-out happy ...

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST,guest
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 07:39 AM

Sigh....

: )

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: eddie1
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 07:48 AM

Thanks for the various snippets of advice and the experiences of others.
I will be seeing the young lady at another meeting tomorrow and will again be giving her a lift home.
I think I should be ready for all eventualities and will purchase a packet of three windshields just in case.
Looking back to my original posting, the main reason for declining her invitation involved a previous appointment with a pal and a pint. Aftersight says I should have accepted because whatever happened would only have taken a couple of minutes anyway!

Eddie

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 09:32 AM

Good luck (with an "l").

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 09:34 AM

PS - there was one occasion, hmm, about 35 years ago, when one young lady eventually said to me "I'm going to bed, are you coming?". Not that I was slow on the uptake or anything....

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Rowan
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 04:48 PM

My courting experience is well out of date but I do recall enjoying the company of a young lady with whom I "stepped out" . I was one of those men who knew how to take the initiative but I wanted not to in this case as she was quite a bit younger than me and at the beginning of her career. AAfter we'd been seeing each other for about six months, almost exactly 25 years ago, we'd been to see Dariel Fo's "Female Parts" and I took her to her home where, as usual, I was invited in for coffee.

Coffee finished, she asked "Are you interested in sleeping with me or not?"

"Of course!" I replied.

Two daughters, a house and 16 years later, we decided to call it quits but it was fun while it lasted and we now get along better professionally than we ever did while together.

But As someone who reaches his 60th Birthday shortly I am sometimes horrified by certain 'courtship rituals' such as those experienced outside school when I take my grandson each day. YOUNG single mums who are possibly looking for security make such blatant approaches offering themselves...their bodies...to me!!!!

Well, in the nine years since the split I've been taking the daughters to school every second week, coaching them (and umpiring) in the local netball competition (almost an all female sport) but I've never had such an offer; it must be the luck of your locale. And I'm quite happy where I am, thank you!.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 17 Feb 08 - 08:48 PM

When I was a young lad, back in the Late Pleistocene era some time or other, I always aspired to invite a young lady to my apartment to see my etchings. There was just one problem, though. . .

I had etchings! I would have confused the poor young lady no end!

Back then, too, I took up the guitar and folk songs to attract and entertain girls. But I learned, to my woe, that when your arms are around a guitar they aren't around the girl! And I was so ignorant I didn't know how to make the transition with any degree of smoothness.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: open mike
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 02:26 AM

windshields??>
please explain and or translate...

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 03:28 AM

I assume that when driving hard they stop the wrong bits gettting wet...

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST,Dani
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 06:30 AM

And, it must be said, be prepared for her to REALLY mean just what she said, and nothing more.

Best wishes in either case : )

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 07:26 AM

Don't know if this qualifies as a courtship ritual or not, but the most original chat-up line I ever had, at a party, was when a very nice-looking fella came up to me and said, "Hi. I've got frogs on my underpants."

I said, "Go on, then, show me." So he pulled up a teeny corner of underpant above the waistband of his jeans, and sure enough: large psychedelic-green frogs.

Not to be outdone I countered, "Well, I have frogs on mine too, with little deadly-nightshades and hearts" (which as it happens, I did). When challenged to prove it, I happily obliged (fortunately I was wearing jeans too so I could display a sample in a similar manner without undue immodesty).

What happened next? Well, apart from some enjoyable conversation, not very much. He was there with a girl and I with another guy. Pity. Two pairs of frogs-on-underpants, a match made in heaven.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 18 Feb 08 - 07:33 AM

I remember a slightly similar conversation about a lion on female underpants, but the conversation soon went downhill about the grass under his feet and how he was going to lap at the waterhole or cross the river...

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Feb 08 - 04:19 PM

I couldn't resist sharing this recent online ad:

"I am an unattractive couch potato whose shirts don't quite cover my rotund belly. I am out of shape, insecure, insincere, and very selfish. I don't like kids, pets, or sun shiny people who wear their frowns upside down. I drink a fifth of gin and chew a can of tobacco daily. I am at the bus stop of life waiting for my ride to get here.

I am seeking a desperate, unattractive, vulnerable woman who is so lonely that we both find solace in our shared misery. No money, no exercise, no entertainment, no expectations. If things go particularly mediocre with our mundane online chats, I would like to explore further disappointment in the bedroom.

No pictures--I enjoy the suprise of finding out the image I had has no relation whatsoever to the person I thought I was communicating with. "

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: jonm
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 06:21 AM

Windshields? In the studio, they are sometimes called "pop filters" which might be an even better pun if they come in three-packs.

Subject: RE: BS: Modern Courtship Rituals
From: Rowan
Date: 20 Feb 08 - 04:50 PM

Many years ago Declan Affley was performing in a folk club in Hobart. He was having mic trouble; the mic was without a windshield and was popping some of his percussives during his singing. The young lad who was looking after the sound gear, which wasn't very sophisticated, rummaged around in the box of spare bits and pieces and rushed to the stage while Declan was introducing his next song, fitted a windshield over the mic and retreated into the audience.

The popping shield was tubular (to fit the mic) and coloured yellow. Without missing a beat in his intro Declan expostulated against its colour, drawing comparisons to stripes down local politician's backs and their lack of courage over environmental issues to do with Tasmania's mania for building dams in wilderness areas.

While he was doing this the young lad was again rummaging through the box and came to the stage and replaced the yellow windshield with a black one, identically shaped. Seamlessly Declan remonstrated against having "to sing through a blackshirt condom" commenting on the political nastiness of such blackshirts. During this the young lad was again rummaging through the box and came to the stage and replaced the black windshield with a red one, identically shaped. Declan eyed this with a beaming smile and thanked the lad for producing "a condom acceptable to the masses, with the same colour as the flag" and started singing the parody of the Red Flag where "the working class can kiss my arse, I've got the foreman's job at last."

I dare say there were some courtship rituals going on among the rest of the audience but, given the nature of most of the songs that night I suspect the rituals were largely traditional; mine were.

Cheers, Rowan