BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-

Subject: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 06:38 PM

- who can resist the temptation to overeat!
- and who is discreet about indulging his or her sexual desires.
- and who is scrupulously clean by choice and doesn't like rolling in shit.

Yes, I'd like to believe all those things. I really would.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: ranger1
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 06:44 PM

LH, too bad you never met my Clancy Dog. We could put a full bowl of food down in the AM and he frequently wouldn't finish it until the next AM. He was never a leg-humper, a crotch-jammer or an over-zelous self-licker. He didn't seem to have much interest in humping other dogs, either. And only once or twice in his 16 years did he find something that he just couldn't resist rolling in. He didn't clean out the catbox or slurp water out of the toilet, either. We used to call him Clancy the Wonderdog.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: artbrooks
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 06:55 PM

There's a spitz-er in New York who is up for grabs....

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: bobad
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:06 PM

Here you go LH, just what you're looking for.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Peace
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:06 PM

The only dog I ever had who wouldn't hump a dead turtle.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:16 PM

Awright. Some really good ideas coming in here. This is why I love the Internet.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:28 PM

Little Hawk, there actually is a dog that fits your requirements perfectly. It's called a "cat".

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:31 PM

Yeah. ;-) How about that, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:44 PM

Well, actually there's a bit of a problem with the "discreet about indulging his or her sexual desires" part, particularly with unneutered tomcats. The difference is that a tomcat's horniness manifests itself as yowling instead of humping. But a quick visit to the vet can fix that problem almost as quickly as you can say "Snip, snip!"

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Peace
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 07:48 PM

The most unkindliest cut of all.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: gnu
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:00 PM

That's why they want the window open. Not to flap their ears in the wind. It's to be able to jump out if you get near the vet's.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Peace
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:06 PM

"Ahem. My owners said they are taking me to the vets to be tutored."

That was a Far Side cartoon.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Sorcha
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:21 PM

You've never met Max the Grand dog either. As far as I know, he's never jumped anything in his life....he doesn't 'lick' either....and does self feed just fine. You can't have him tho. The Corgis would miss Uncle Max something dreadful.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: number 6
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 08:55 PM

"Yes, I'd like to believe all those things. I really would."

well, meet ... Otis

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 09:06 PM

Wow! Otis is quite a sight to see. He is clearly a true aristocrat, you can tell by the nose and the eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:00 PM

Nursing home residents liked robot dog as much as the real thing.

"Even a faux Fido can comfort lonely people"

John

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: bobad
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:17 PM

"Even a faux Fido can comfort lonely people"

Tell that to Eliot Spitzer.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: number 6
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 10:36 PM

LH ... Otis says thanks for the compliment.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Mar 08 - 11:06 PM

You're welcome, Otis. No kidding, that is one impressive looking dog.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Newport Boy
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 05:04 AM

Probably belongs on the Joke thread, but regarding the vets:

In the vets one morning there was a young woman with a very hang-dog German Shepherd. The spaniel asked the dog what was wrong.

"Early hours of this morning, my mistress came down to the kitchen, opened the fridge and bent over to reach a drink. She was in her short nightie, and I'm afraid I disgraced myself. She's brought me here - I'm afraid it's the end, or at best, the snip".

They went in to the vet, and 15 minutes later, out came a much more cheerful dog.

"What happened?" asked the spaniel.

"He trimmed my claws!!"

Phil

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Thompson
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 07:30 AM

My dog eats a mug of dried food morning and night; if you put down more she'll turn away.

Treats, of course, are another matter. And 'human' food.

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: frogprince
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 01:19 PM

Number 6, I hate to tell you this, but...

That isn't a dog; that's an anteater!

But then again, if he's well behaved and a good companion, so what...

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 01:21 PM

LOL!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 01:24 PM

I was going to suggest aardvark. . . :)

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: number 6
Date: 13 Mar 08 - 02:19 PM

Well guys .... when I told Otis of your rather rude remarks he answered in his usual stoic, dignified manner ...

Well, they can go and kiss my royal behind

biLL :)

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 12:00 AM

My dogs were beside themselves with joy this evening on our walk--they discovered some dead thing out there. It was all I could do to keep Cinnamon (the pit bull) from picking up (and eating, no doubt) the tail of something recently deceased. Not sure what it was. It could have been a big cat or a small dog. Kind of had the tiger-stripy look of a cat, but it had long coarser looking hair. Just the tail.

"Please please please please please please please please please please please!" they whined as they struggled to get a little closer. "Just let us sniff it!"

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: I'd like to believe that there is a dog-
From: Amergin
Date: 14 Mar 08 - 02:04 AM

Bill The Cat
John Williamson

We had a cat
His name was Bill
He caught our budgie on the window sill
One holy day, one sunday morn
Left only feathers on our back lawn
Oh no Bill, you can't do that
You silly pussy, you stupid cat
So we took him down, our family pet
And we left his balls with the family vet

meeoooww meeeoooww

Well the very next day he packed his bags
Left all his penthouse and playboy mags
How could we do it to the family vet
Go and leave his balls with the family vet
Well we get no postcards, no telephone calls
He's out in the bush somewhere, with no balls
And he's obsessed with sweet revenge
So he eats our parrots and our fairy wrens

(Chorus)
Yes he's mortified and we all regret that we Left his balls with the family vet
X2

How he's highly sought by the feral choir
For his new found talent to sing much higher
Has no more time for female friends
Only parrots and fairy wrens
No sense of humour, ex-family pet
He's still angry, he's still upset
It still hurts, he can't forget
That we left his balls with the family vet

Chorus X2