BS: Gorilla-bashing thread

Subject: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:41 PM

They're butt ugly. They stink. Most of 'em got a brain about the size of a pea, and it has to think through about 6 inches of solid bone all around. Not good. Never ask a gorilla to solve a simple problem for you, you will end up with a far bigger problem: the frikkin' gorilla! Talkin' to a gorilla is a lot like talkin' to a tractor or a dead dog, only the tractor won't talk back and the dead dog won't bite. Gorillas are the grit in life's vaseline. They ain't worth the time to spit on or the cost of a bullet. If they was all shipped off to Schenectady, that would be just fine with me. I don't like Schenectady much, and I ain't goin' there any time soon. How many gorillas does it take to change a lightbulb? Too many, that's how many. If you got a lightbulb that needs changin', my advice is do it yourself and save a whole bunch of unnecessary trouble.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:43 PM

Gorilla my dreams I love you, honest I do ♫♪


G

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Megan L
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:46 PM

Now Congo you are being unnecessarily cruel and specist there. after all there isnt that much difference between gorillas and husbands. Big, hairy, smelly and canny change a light bulb .

Meg* now heading for the cellar

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: beardedbruce
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:46 PM

And what is the point of bashing gorillas? When one is finished, has one anything more or less than what one started with?

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Peace
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:48 PM

There is a thread asking what to do with 13 bananas. I have a suggestion . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Megan L
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:51 PM

PEACE I am awake :)

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Don Firth
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:52 PM

Now, now, Chongo! You're acting quite human here! Do you really want to do that?

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: artbrooks
Date: 13 May 08 - 05:59 PM

The following discussion of his encounter with Koko the Gorilla is from William Shatner's new autobio. You may have heard of him - has-been actor and love interest of one of our Canuck members? Or maybe not.

"Over and over I repeated, "I love you, Koko, I love you." And as I said it, I began to feel that love. Finally I stopped directly in front of her and looked into her deep brown eyes and saw her furrowed brow and her enormous hands. "I love you, Koko." And with that she reached out and grabbed me by my balls. And looked me right in the eyes. After a slight pause—in a substantially higher voice—I tried to repeat, "I love you, Koko." Obviously these words had more significance than a few seconds earlier."

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 08 - 06:33 PM

LOL! Leave it to Shatner. The man has an amazing ability to engage in humor at his own expense.

When a female chimp has you by the balls, you had best tell her anything she wants to hear.

I think Chongo must've had another run-in with the Northsiders. It happens now and then.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: open mike
Date: 13 May 08 - 07:10 PM

are there gorillas in our midst?
♫♪

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: GUEST,Silverback Sydney
Date: 13 May 08 - 07:49 PM

Hey, Chongo! You wanta meet me face-to-face and repeat those remarks?

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 08 - 07:54 PM

(sigh)

It's gonna be a hell of a weekend...

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:00 PM

Come now Chongo,
You were best man at Kerchak's wedding and godfather of at least one little gorilla! Or do I need to go pulling cites from the stories? They aren't all that bad. And if it wasn't for the King I doubt the other humans would be treating any primates with any respect at all!

LH, he just needs Laura to come home for a bit.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:12 PM

I think he was just blowing off some steam. Now he's probably too proud to apologize about it.

It's silly. After all, he idolizes King Kong, and Kong is a gorilla. I remember when the recent movie came out how he and some gorilla were crying on each other's shoulders after watching it at the theatre.

This is just sad.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:17 PM

You know LH, I wouldn't think Chongo would be interested in watching the movie. Kinda like the whole JFK assasination. No matter how it's told the story ends the same. Just once at the end I'd like to see the King wink and pull up the edge of a Gorilla costume bullet proof vest. Then he and Faye could wait for the crowds to disburse and catch a tramp steamer back to the island.

I guess I'm just sentimental like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 May 08 - 08:23 PM

Yeah, I know what you mean. But tragedies make good box office too. Like the Titanic. You know it's gonna sink, but you still want to go through the whole agonizing thing one more time, and that's why you buy the ticket. People are fascinated by death. Remember Butch and Sundance? That's how Chongo would like to go out, with guns a-blazin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Gurney
Date: 14 May 08 - 12:59 AM

Chong, your new pad must be as stink as your old one, judging from your mood.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 May 08 - 07:33 AM

Chongo's right, gorillas are a pretty bad lot. But they're still preferable to most humans.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 May 08 - 09:42 AM

I've never been that intimate with a gorilla. I know some humans who are pretty bad though. We get them in the Library every now and then. But I've never known a gorilla to get drunk, lay on his back on the Library lawn, and pee straight up in the air. If I did I'd do what we did about the human -- call the cops and let them sort it out. Alternately, I'd call Parks and Recreation and ask for someone to come over with a weed-whacker.

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 May 08 - 11:52 AM

Oh no, it was a female gorilla, there's nothing funny about Carruthers!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Amos
Date: 14 May 08 - 01:07 PM

What???? Carruthers???! Liviing in a tree? With a gorilla?? Really!!??? Was it a male gorilla?

Subject: RE: BS: Gorilla-bashing thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 May 08 - 03:10 PM

Certainly not! Nothing queer about Carruthers.