BS: Local ape protests election outcome

Subject: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 02:53 PM

"Little Albert" Monroe, an orangutan living in Schenectady, New York, is protesting the 2008 election results by publicly peeling all his bananas upsidedown from now on or until Barack Obama steps down and Chongo Chimp is inaugurated as president.

Little Albert believes that the election was stolen from Chongo by a conspiracy on the part of the "corporate media" and the Democratic and Republican parties. "They fear what could happen if a chimp got to be president of the USA," says Monroe, "so they fixed the election and gave it to Obama. That stinks. I am peeling all my bananas upsidedown from now on as a protest against this blatant attack upon our traditions of liberty and freedom. It's really awkward and uncomfortable to peel a banana upsidedown, and that symbolizes the awkward and uncomfortable position that the whole nation has been put in by this botched election."

Many of Little Albert's friends and neighbours feel that his protest is going way too far. "It's really disturbin' to me to see someone peeling his banana upsidedown," says Oboe Wilks, a howler monkey who used to buy magazines and smokes at the Treehouse Variety Store, Monroe's longtime family business in downtown Schenectady. "It ain't right to do that if you ask me. I am not givin' my business to Little Albert any more, not till he goes back to peelin' his bananas the proper American way."

Members of the press met with Chongo Chimp in Chicago today to get his reaction to the situation. The former candidate was quoted as saying, "I cannot support what this guy Little Albert is doin'. It's disrespectful to America, disrespectful to president-elect Obama who needs our support now, and disrespectful to apes in general. I am embarrassed by what he is doin' supposedly on my behalf and I disavow it. Only a complete idiot would peel a banana upsidedown. You do that, and it's just gonna fall on the ground most likely. Next, I expect he'll be peelin' it from the wrong end too, as well as upsidedown. What a moron this guy must be."

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 02:56 PM

You keep peeling your banana upside down and you'll go blind.

You've probably already got the hairy palms.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 02:57 PM

Peeling from the wrong end? I take it that would be starting from the end on the left in this picture? Shocking. Only misguided humans do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:01 PM

Hey Chongo ya bongo whits wrong wie peelin yer bannana upside doon i do it all the time. Perfictly natural if ye ask me.

Matty the fruit bat

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:01 PM

It would mean starting from the opposite end to where the stem is, and Chongo is right...only a moron would do that.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:02 PM

Somehow I thought he would be peeling his banana while swinging from a tree (an Effete Eastern Elm, no doubt) by his toes. Amazing what these apes will do for attention; next thing you know, one of them will try to run for president!

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:02 PM

They have fruit bats in Scotland???

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Megan L
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:06 PM

:p

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:27 PM

They're ALL bats in Scotland.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Megan L
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:48 PM

Watch it son or ah'll come ower there and skelp yer bahookie till yer lugs ring. If ye like it Granny charges extra. Matty is a perfectly respectable you fruit bat who sought political asylum in Orkney fleeing the simian terror in Chicago.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:50 PM

Could be worse - he could have climbed a flagpole and thrown poop at anyone who passed.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:50 PM

kaka for Chongo!

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:53 PM

Orangutans have had chips on their shoulders ever since Warner Brothers decided to give Clint Eastwood top billing in the movie Every Which Way But Loose instead of Clyde the orangutan. Come on guys! That movie was made thirty years ago! Get over it! We're all primates here. Can't we just get along?

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 03:57 PM

Caca por Chongo?

Doesn't he have enough already?

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:01 PM

Yeah. He only has 2 hands.

Oh wait, there's his feet!

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:16 PM

I can't handle much more of this specist rhetoric!

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Cluin
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 04:43 PM

If opposable thumbs set us apart from the lower orders, what about chimps? They have them on their feet too.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:20 PM

They are obviously twice as good as humans, but they are keeping it a deep secret. After all, if it became well known they might have to take charge, with all of the blame that goes with it (not much credit is given to world leaders these days.)

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:26 PM

That's what Chongo's been saying for years! The truth is, he was very relieved NOT to have won the recent election.

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 05:29 PM

OOk.

Oook, ook ukk oook okkookook.

Heekheekheekook.

Ook.

And take more water with it.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 07:32 PM

This is such a snow job. This little Albert chimp is a con--he's has been peeling his bananas upside down since he was born--it has nothin' ta do with the election, or with Chongo. In fact, Chinga knows the john real well, because all the girls laugh at him when he visits their houses in Milwaukee, or sometimes Chi-town.

He peels his banana upside down there, too--it's the only way that "works" for him. He pays extra and they have no idea where he gets his dough. Turns out he's a trust fund baby from one of those movie star chimp families from the Thirties. Anyway, Chinga says don't be taken in. She also says one of her most reliable girls tells her, "That's not the only thing he peels upside down, and its not because he's protesting the erection, either...".


A

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 10:58 PM

Well, the whole thing started when Ronald Reagan was elected president, completely bypassing Bonzo. Our furry brethren have never forgiven that.

Neither, for that matter, have I!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Local ape protests election outcome
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 08 - 11:15 PM

Amos, you are such a political whore....and NOW you have blown it totally. Your credibility is now zilch, as is that of your agent "Chinga". Why? Well, it's simple. If you had read the early posts in this thread with any real attention...and if "Chinga" was anything even vaguely approaching a reliable source...you would have known that Little Albert Monroe is not a chimp at all. He's an orangutan.

Give it up, man. You have less credibility than Spiro Agnew rolled into Karl Rove and crossed with Dan Quayle. Even your dog knows you're a fake by now. You should turn in your membership card for the yellow press, step off one of those seaside cliffs in California, and end it all.