BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly

Subject: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 10:54 AM

Normally Chongo has better taste than this...but he is really short of funds following his unsuccessful run for the presidency...and crime is way down in Chicago because people are so happy about Obama winning the election...accordingly, Chongo is also short of work right now.

It's an embarrassing situation.

He tells me that the pictures will be tastefully done, however. "These ain't dirty pictures," he said. "Think of it as graphic art."

****

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:05 PM

Chinga says she knows a guy who can hook him up for a Playgirl centerfold for the special "Bestial Edition" coming out next fall. Maybe it's the end of this fall. Anyway, they're all pretty fallen.

The guy's a regular at her Milwaukee establishment, Little Hawk--if you dropped down there some time you might be able to hook up and get some business going for CHongo.

Just don't tell him about his little sister being the lead, or he will refuse to have anything to do with it out of sheer guilt.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Paul Burke
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:07 PM

I don't know... how do you tell when a chimp is nude? Though there is an Irish soccer player called Shaved Gibbon.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:11 PM

This thread is ape-ist, and shouldn't be allowed on here.

XG

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:20 PM

No, more precisely it's chimpist.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:26 PM

You're a very sick man, Amos. ;-) If you can line up Paris Hilton instead of Chinga for that Playgirl photoshoot, Chongo's all for it. Better yet, call Arnold Schwarzenneger up and see if he'll do the shoot with Chinga instead.

Look, guys, a chimp's gotta do what a chimp's gotta do, right? The end of the month ain't that far off, and Christmas is comin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 12:41 PM

And he hasn't paid me yet.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 01:31 PM

That too.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 01:44 PM

He's been stiffing CHinga and their mom for decades. Plus, there's a rumouor he owes child support to some dance-hall floozy with whom he fathered a son who ended up lurking through the Pacific Northwest forests, living off of what he could steal from hikers and campers.
The mother does what she can, but she's getting on in years and doesn't have a lot of skills of the sort that bring in legitimate funds.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 02:52 PM

Oh? Then it sounds to me like she's facing a problem somewhat akin to yours, old chap! ;-) Has the Hillary campaign paid you off yet for your earnest efforts in spreading their false anti-Chongo propaganda back during the primaries?

I thought not.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 02:56 PM

Yeah, I thought not too, amigo. I should probably reveal to you, as an aside so you won't embarass yourself, that Hillary, um, lost.

I texted Paris, but she says she wouldn't dream of showing up with Chongo after the way he's treated his sister. She has very strong feelings about that kind of thing, you know. She says "Tell Chongo to go pound sand." Loosely translated.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 03:02 PM

Yes, Hillary did lose, despite your assiduous efforts to spread a flood of disinformation on her behalf. You failed, baby! Obama won despite all your attempts to embarrass his campaign with your obviously calculated over-the-top adulation (meant to embarass or annoy other people into voting for Hillary and/or McCain).

I happen to know that Paris Hilton thinks very well of Chongo. They have a mutual regard for one another that goes way back. I bet she even voted for him.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 06:02 PM

Well, I guess since he's your imaginary playmate, and Paris is as much an object of fantasy as she is of real attention, your are within your rights to make a couple of them if you want. it probably has a better chance of actualizing than your impassioned by impossible pursuit of Winona. Or was that Sarah? I keep losing track...but in any case, please don't send one of those cute birth announcements with a picture of the newborn on it, if you do decide to slam them together. One Aboriginal Snowman is enough for me!!!!



A



A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 06:18 PM

Hey. You got somethin' against aboriginal snowmen? Huh?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 06:25 PM

Don't let this go to your heads, but...you fellas are so funny! :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Gurney
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 07:37 PM

I heard a couple on bonobo chicks remarking that Chongo is bloody well hung.








Just a moment. Was that "SHOULD be bloody well hung"??

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 08:04 PM

Amazing what a difference ONE little word can make, isn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 08:11 PM

Funny--that's exactly what Chinga says about her brother. Those bonobos--are they in the profession by any chance? Chinga has a couple she maintains as high-dollar specialists for the really extremely needy, as long as they;'ve got the money to pay for it. Word on the street is you ain't experienced nuthin' 'til you've been with a bonobo.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 08:15 PM

Yeah, that's what they say, but I'm still holding out for Winona Ryder.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Gurney
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 03:00 AM

Amos, I can't answer your question, I didn't ask and I don't want to know. I believe that Bonobos are 'sitting on a goldmine' by nature, anyway.
Still not interested.

LH, I heard that Winona is hanging out for you, too. Have you lost her phone number AGAIN?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:44 AM

Yeah, well, the Bonoboetta's in Chinga's "Palace of Joy" wouldn't be talking about Chongo's junk, anyway, so it probably isn't them. See, Chinga has laid down firm policy that if Chongo shows up at any of her dives, the only one who gets to see him is the bouncer--a big gorilla from the South Side of Chicago, who bears ole Chongo a couple of bad grudges from way back.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:23 PM

Hmmm. There are a large number of gorillas who fit that description...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:47 PM

YEah. Three of them, at present, are employed by Chinga--one in Milwaukee, where he showed up because Chi was too hot for him; one in Chicago, where he manages under an assumed name; and one at the Geriatric Delight condo complex in Miami, where everyone just thinks he's Hassidic.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo to pose nude for Primate Monthly
From: Gurney
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 11:55 PM

I can understand that. He always starts with "Jew want any bother, buddy?"