BS: The Infection From Hell

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 04:31 PM

It opens up your horizons not your nasal passages.


And don't smoke while you are sniffing.

M

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 04:27 PM

"Head full of glue", Helen??? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm??? Now that's one rememdy I forgot all about... Glue therapy... I got some real decent vynal adhesive out in the tool room... Think I'll go a have a short visit with it an' see if that opens stuff up... Used to work purdy good...

Thanks...

B

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:58 PM

Tam,
Flat ginger ale or Pepsi sometimes helps. Tiny tiny sips.
Also deep breaths.

had that last week at the office. YUK!
M

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Helen
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:37 PM

Hi Sinsull,

I had much the same as you for a couple of months. The ears were the worst part. Antibiotics stopped the sinus headache but had no effect at all on the blocked ears. It felt like my head was full of glue.

A few people at work are also suffering from the blocked ears, among other symptoms.

I went and bought some over-the-counter nasal spray for hayfever and hey (hay) presto! the blocked ears started to unblock. Two months of blocked ears was hell. The cure was quick and effective. The brand I bought is called Beconase (in Oz). It works by reducing inflammation and I think that was the problem because I had very little of the runny-nose symptoms. In your case - the Green Goo Syndrome - maybe it would not help but for me it was little short of a miracle.

Maybe worth a try.

Helen

I wish you the Oz cure: tea, sympathy, and eucalyptus oil steam inhalations (antiseptic properties in eucalyptus, and helps to unblock everything nasal-related)

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:30 PM

Send me a little bit of nail, Skipper.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:17 PM

Burnt toast and bitter jam.... or drugs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 02:06 PM

Any tips for stopping the dry heaves in their tracks? I have had two 15 minute bouts today. Afraid I am going to crack my ribs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: kendall
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 01:51 PM

Leprosy, night and day you torture me,
There goes my eyeball right into my highball...

There goes my fingernail right into my ginger ale...

Hear the song of a sailor, 'tis an old song, learned at sea.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 12:22 PM

Now I am in BIG TROUBLE. Just spoke with Mrs. Morse and she is toxic. If Kendall gets this I will be banned to the cellar for a lifetime.


So sorry...

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 11:45 AM

No, Sins... Not yet, anyway but if that green-goo comes outta my ears that would make it almost worth gettin' sick just to behold such a sight...

B~

Subject: Lyr Add: I Got it From Agnes
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:43 AM

I had a nice dinner at Acorns last night, courtesy of Curbat Mudgeoness (thank you), but mainly I just wanted to state that I am not sick. I do not have sniffilis and I feel GREAT. WOOHOO!!! I truly hope you feel better soon so you can experience the toxic-snot-free existence and joyful nasal inhalation that I now do.

---

Somehow, this song never got added here (unless it's hiding somewhere). I found it with the Wayback Machine and plucked in its entirety (with some HTML editing) from here.

---

I Got It From Agnes (1952)

This song was written by Tom in 1952, and performed by him throughout the 1950's, but he never included it on an album because he considered it too risqué at the time. In 1980, he revised it for inclusion in the stage revue of his songs called Tomfoolery, and notes that, although the revision made it naughtier, it seems fairly innocent by today's standards. The lyrics given here are from the revised Tomfoolery version. A studio version of this song recorded in 1996 can be found on the album Songs & More Songs by Tom Lehrer, available from Rhino Records.

I love my friends, and they love me,
We're just as close as we can be.
And just because we really care,
Whatever we get, we share!

I got it from Agnes,
She got it from Jim.
We all agree it must have been
Louise who gave it to him.

She got it from Harry,
Who got it from Marie,
And everybody knows that Marie
Got it from me.

Giles got it from Daphne,
She got it from Joan,
Who picked it up in County Cork,
A-kissin' the Blarney Stone.

Pierre gave it to Sheila,
Who must have brought it there.
He got it from Francois and Jacques,
Haha, Lucky Pierre!

Max got it from Edith,
Who gets it every spring.
She got it from her Daddy,
Who just gives her everything.

She then gave it to Daniel,
Whose spaniel has it now.
Our dentist even got it,
And we're still wondering how.

Ah, but I got it from Agnes,
Or maybe it was Sue,
Or Millie or Billie or Gillie or Willie,
It doesn't matter who.

It might have been at the club,
Or at the pub, or in the loo,
And if you will be my friend,
Then I might...(Mind you, I said "might")...
Give it to you!

---

Notes

Lehrer Comments:  "I Got it From Agnes was written in 1952. Originally it was I Got it From Sally. I used to sing that in nightclubs, but I didn't put it on records because I didn't want to be identified with so-called 'party records' like those by Ruth Wallis, Rusty Warren, Redd Foxx. I didn't want to be in that bin. When Cameron Mackintosh asked if there was anything else in the trunk that they could use for Tomfoolery, I polished
it up, wrote a new verse, and made it more like a British music-hall song. Of course, that was all before anybody had heard of AIDS." --1996 Interview

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:27 AM

I too have the kidney hurt and a blocked ear. It is really a problem at work where I have to see people's mouths to understand what they are saying. Hoping the antibiotics knock it all out of me. 11 days to go.

Reminder to all: Despite cajoling I did not attend a recent house concert or Thanksgiving dinner rather than risk infecting you.15 minutes in the car with Jacqui shouldn't have done it.



Kendall scares me - I need my head.

Bobert - is it coing out of your ears yet?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:15 AM

Yesterday was end of week 4 with this mess. The Doxycyclin seems to be working, coughing less, sleeping more. Right ear still full. Evening time my kidneys hurt which makes me think UTI. What fun.

I think the worst has been I have been home from work all week and have not lifted one finger to housework. I have Mudcatted, Googled and practised mandolin. God the guilt.

Tsk tsk. A truckload of ironing awaits.

Ha ha!! I lie. The worse is I have missed 3 folk sessions in the last month. Sod the ironing.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:15 AM

I knew I shouldn't have opened this thread... Now I got the green-goo, too... Man I feel terrible and I know that I caught it here...

B:~(

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:05 AM

Oh Jacqui - I hope not. Sore throat is the giveaway.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 08:01 AM

I don't have strep - tested and clean.
I ams till deaf in one ear. And enjoying my codeine. Two teaspoonfuls did thetrick. Fell asleep at 8:30PM and slept through the night for the first time in weeks. Technicolor dreams - or dreams about technicolor condoms and thongs. Very funny. You had to be there...

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: kendall
Date: 05 Dec 08 - 07:18 AM

One year ago tomorrow I went into the hospital with a very serious case of strep, and if I get it again, heads will roll.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 10:20 PM

Looks like the Old Bat may have passed it on to me when I gave her a lift home from work last week.

I'm off to the doctor's tomorrow to get checked out and on to antibiotics, if it is the same thing, before my trip to the UK next week.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: bfdk
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 08:35 AM

Glad to hear you're doing well enough to contemplate going gallivanting across the country, Sins!

However, I'll stay at a safe distance for the time being, too..

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 08:23 AM

Sounds good to me, but I'm not flying out on the same plane as you, you old bat,'cause I don't want to catch whatever it is you've got!

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 07:48 AM

HMMMMM Catspaw acting out the Old She-Crab. That might be worth the cost of shipping lobsters or just flying out with a bushel of them.
Who's in?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Dec 08 - 04:31 AM

Now ain't this something..........I finally get a bite, so to speak, and the guy lives at the opposite end of the opposite coast............................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 11:56 PM

IF you'll [promise to take a home video of live Maine lobsters nipping your scrawy balls, Spaw, I'll pay the damn freight myself. I want a copy though , with YouTube rights and all...


And I am sure it will cure anything the viriii can throw at Mary.



A

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: TRUBRIT
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 11:49 PM

Sins - have you considered death as a strong alternative ...... rather that than the bat stew!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 11:27 PM

Why not just boil down a possum? Ya' know, they're America's other yellow meat plus they have an ospenis (bony peter) so they come with their own toothpick! Cleigh will hate you for it but it has the same chance as the bats do..............

BTW, the lobsters can nip at my balls for all I care. Just send the damn things.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Barry Finn
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 11:10 PM

MARY!!!!
Don't eat the chicken soup, it'll past through you like the wind over the ocean. If you can't do lobster try the next best thing, eat stewed bats. I know they're dying off everywhere but if you act fast you'll be able to trap a couple. You put them in a stew, just like an Irish stew but instead of rat meat you use bat meat. They're harded to trap than rats & smarter too so you can't just set out some cheese & put it on one of those spring things that breaks their necks. You got to set up a misqutos fly slam. You get about 2 dozen on the local buzzards & hang them by gluing them in a ball to the end of a light line of thin gauge wire, use lots of glue & set it up at dusk. When the bat striks the ball og glued misquotes & is stunned because it gets stopped in mid air you slam it with a bat. This is called the bat act. Well, dewing the thing drop it in the stew & there you go. Boil for 3 hrs & eat hot.
Best of luck, hope your ears have stopped ringing
Barry

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 08:01 PM

I gratefully accepted the soup donations without offering anything in the line of hugs and kisses.
Yum. Maybe I will get sick more often.
Thank you guys.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 06:22 PM

Leave it on the step and ring the doorbell. I like Mother Mary, but no sense in catching anything, right?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: ranger1
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 05:35 PM

Right, on our way out the door with oodles of home-made chicken soup. Both jacqui and Jason decided to make chicken soup for you, Mary. I'm just the delivery person.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Barry Finn
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 05:16 PM

Mary, I'm telling you, listen to the lobster, hear what it's got to say.
Put your ear right up close to it's little lips & listen to it say "EAT ME"! Then go throw the little bugger in the scalding water after it nips your nose. You may not like eating them but you'll surely like cooking them.
BTW, after it nips your nose your won't mind the pain in the ear.

Barry

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 05:05 PM

Ya can't ever really know people, can you Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 04:57 PM

Yeah, I know. I thought that nobody...well, you know...but I guess I was wrong.

It really IS a good way of directing an inhalant, sort of a legal bong. But not for people who use them...well....

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 04:27 PM

Mary, stick your ear on a heating pad.

And while I'm here, I have to ask: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING WITH YOUR TOILET ROLLS?!!??

(Seriously, you're supposed to use the tissue on your ass, not stick the cardboard roll in there! E. coli doesn't do 'dry'.)

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 04:13 PM

Sure.....Get her some serious drugs. I'd suggest the 4mg size Dilaudid. On your way home, ship me the lobtsers.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 04:07 PM

Going on 12/15 for my annual..you want I should fake sick? :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 03:42 PM

Thank you, gnu.

Becca? How about some Ambien?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 02:24 PM

Oh my, Mary! That is one of the nastiest pains know to humankind. I hope you can get it cleared up reeeeal soon.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 10:37 AM

Cheese?   You want cheese? Karen and I are dieting and for some unknown reason used almost all of the the leftover turkey on faux Tex-Mex style recipes. The gawdamn Chimi-changas were excellent but all of it was filled with refried beans and the gas..............

Cheese? I've been cutting it for days..........

AS far as sympathy goes.......Out of every illness I've ever had, the worst pain was prior to back surgery but that was only slightly worse than a series of ear infections I had in my 20's. Seriously, I never would wish that on anyone. Okay? All better now? Where are the lobsters?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Becca72
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 10:23 AM

You should go to my doctor....I'm constantly turning DOWN prescriptions for various things

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 09:06 AM

Old Ambien was addictive and I would have loved to have a year's supply - psychedelic dreams and 10 hours deep sleep. Wonderful stuff.

F***in' infection is in my ear and it HURTS!
Thank you Kendall. Pity and a little cheese for my whine would be nice.
M

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 08:36 AM

Too right about the toilet roll... e choli accident waiting to happen.

Sorry you are getting no relief Sinsull. What is it about the stinginess of doctors these days. Remember all the free pharmaceuticals they used to dispense? I think they sell them on ebay now.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 08:36 AM

Ambien isn't addictive; it's on the "proscribed" list mostly because the FDA and DEA can't explain why it works. Have you considered that your doctor's is TOO conservative in treatment?

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: kendall
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 08:18 AM

Sorry about the thread drift. I thought a little humor might help, but I see that pity is more apt to. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 08:10 AM

HEY! REMEMBER ME???? I'm SICK!

The codeine was a huge disappointment but I only took a teaspoonful/ Then again they only gave nme two ounces. This is the same doctor who only gave me two Ambien. She must think I am a potential addict.

Meantime - a used toilet paper roll in your mouth????GAG!

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: catspaw49
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 06:20 AM

If you want cornbread.......TRY THIS THREAD!

Also check the linked threads at the top of it. At Mudcat, only music edges out food as the favored subject.....barely.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 Dec 08 - 06:02 AM

God Rapaire You make my mouth water.

Reminds me of annual family 4th of July fish fry on the Chickahominy River. Crabs, flounder, trout, bass and grilled hotdogs and hamburgers and KFC chicken for the picky eaters. My Aunt Myrt or was it Uncle Perk used to make the best hushpuppies. Can't get cornmeal here in the UK.

I need some corn bread. Therapeutic corn bread. Sounds like a good name for a band.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 08 - 09:46 PM

Kendall, you come out here to Idaho and I'll treat YOU to a genuine freshwater lobster feed. Not many people know that there is a species of freshwater lobster indigenous to Idaho and specifically to the Snake River. These lobsters (Homarus Americanus Idahoensis) have a somewhat sweeter taste than those found in the Atlantic which is probably due to the use of sugar beet residue as "green fertilizer" on Idaho farms and the subsequent runoff into the lobster-containing streams, rivers, and lakes. They have never been commercially fished, primarily because of the overwhelming popularity of saltwater lobster.

But I can tell you, an Idaho lobster bake with these lobsters, corn on the cob, fresh butter, some Salmon River oysters and clams, and all washed down with Moose Drool or Midnight Satin beer -- dang, THAT'S some fine eatin'!!!

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 08 - 08:23 PM

Spaw, the shipping would cost more than the lobsters. Come to Maine and I will treat you to a Lobster feed.

Did I ever give you my Lazy man's lobster recipe?

Take half a dozen eggs, break them into a skillet.
Put a Lobster in the skillet among the eggs.
Put skillet on the stove,cover it, turn the heat up,
Lobster scrambles the eggs.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 08 - 06:24 PM

If you want, you can direct the inhaler via a toilet paper roll (the core, not the whole thing). Exhale as completely as possible, put one end of the roll in your mouth and put the inhaler in the other end. Trigger the inhaler (push down on the ones I have) and at the same time inhale for a count of 6 done at medium speed. Hold your breath for another 6 count, and exhale for a 6 count.

You might also be able to get a cardboard tube from the doctor.

Subject: RE: BS: The Infection From Hell
From: gnu
Date: 02 Dec 08 - 06:12 PM

Youse are sick.