BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen

Subject: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Joybell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 05:59 PM

This is a frivolous question but Im in need of such things.
We've just got our new composting toilet. It will be installed as soon as True-love runs out of reasons to postpone the job. Like "Let's get this gig on Sunday over in case I chop my fingers off with the hole-in-the roof cutter." He's too precise to have called it that but I've forgotten it's correct name.

Oh! It's grand. Looks like you could drive it to town or maybe Jupiter. All shiny and pearly-white with a handle and tubes and a high gleaming seat.
I need to put up a sign about how to treat it when a visitor makes a -- how to say it delicately? -- well I can't you see -- that's the problem. Most of our friends can deal with "poo", "shit", "dump". Our medical friends are used to, "bowel movement", (which I've always thought comical) "faeces". It's the occasional visitor who is genteel and easily shocked, and I don't want to offend, who's the problem. That's when I think about the Queen. When I was a kid, in a working-class suburb of Melbourne, the Queen used to call on people like us. Not often -- she only came to Australia occasionally to see how we were doing. The front page of the paper would show her, drinking tea, with her finger delicately curled around some Mum's best china cup.   It became a standard of some kind. Our mothers said, "(insert something to do with dust, scattered toys, cubby house on the front lawn, dirty faces, or tidiness) and what if the Queen came to tea?"
So you see -- I thought if I could think of a word that would be appropriate for the Queen to see -- I'd be laughing, Bob's your uncle, or no worries.
I believe we should put aside the idea that the Queen has people who would carry out the necessary procedure for her. I'd gladly do it myself. I believe this is irrelevant.
Thank you in advance, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 06:24 PM

Stool.

You can call it the "stool stool."

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: gnomad
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 06:30 PM

Deposit. It's the ex-banker in me that thinks that way.

In terms of actually shocking HRH, I suspect it is quite hard to do; she was in the army, had Margaret for a sister, and has Phil the Greek long term. Have a look at those old clips of her finishing orff pheasants that the guns haven't quite despatched, I reckon she isn't squeamish.

Despite the miracles of modern science I don't think we've yet found a way for somebody else to micturate for us, which is what I at first thought you were suggesting.

BTW: forgive my curiosity, but how do you operate those devices?

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 06:46 PM

If you do Number Two, flush the loo!

Or whatever is an appropriate action when using a fancy-dancy new composting toilette!**bg**

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 07:10 PM

I'm with gnomad. I put up a receptacle along the building for the use of dog walkers. With a red Magic Marker I wrote 'Pet Deposits' on the side. No one ever misunderstood.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 07:25 PM

Pardon me, but I'm totally ignorant about composting toilets. What does a new user need to know about operating one?

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: bubblyrat
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 07:45 PM

Beethoven had a composing toilet ! Hence his Third Movement.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 07:47 PM

I've had a composting toilet for fifteen years. How do you operate 'em? Well, you don't really operate them in the same since that you operate a flush toilet. You don't do anything after an "event". Once a day you need to toss a scoop of dry peat moss into the drum and turn it clockwise one revolution. Every few weeks you turn the drum counterclockwise which opens the little trap door thingie and dumps some of the stuff into the drying tray underneath. In another week or so, take the tray out and throw the finished compost onto your petunias. Human compost should not be used on vegetable gardens due to risk of disease from pathogens that might no be killed if the compost doesn't get hot enough.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Charley Noble
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:13 PM

Now that's a excellent explanation.

I'm not sure it would work for the Queen but she's not really a personal friend of mine and I don't even know if she gives a shit.

We used to have a classic outhouse on the farm, a three holer: small, medium, and large. And as I recall there were mural that mother had painted on the wall of a sailor playing a concertina and a dance hall girl. Clearly these images have had a long term impact of my life. I now play the concertina, perhaps, in the hopes of attracting a dancehall girl!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:17 PM

I thought you were going to say you play the concertina in hopes of finding an outhouse.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: bankley
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:32 PM

it gives the Throne speech a different slant

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Joybell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:34 PM

Thanks Bee-dubya-ell you've about covered the details about the operation of a composting toilet. Yours sounds like the same model.

It's just that I thought people would WANT to do something in place of flushing and I thought a few turns of the handle might be a good idea.

Ebbie, I think you've solved it for me with kat's idea a close second. "serious deposit" "big deposit" "solid deposit" something like that.
I do like the mural idea as well. You can never have enough sailor and dance-hall girl pictures I always say.
Oh! Oh! Oh! When it's for sure the Queen is not around maybe I could have:

"If you give a shit turn the handle" Yes. Thanks, Charlie.
Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: wysiwyg
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 09:48 PM

If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, crank it down.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:11 PM

By the way, Joy, if your toilet has a removeable fiberglass step, take a look at how it attaches to the body of the unit. Ours gave way one day while I was standing on it. If the attaching hardware doesn't look like something you'd trust with your life, throw the step away and build a nice solid box that sits on the floor to take its place. You can keep your toilet paper stash in it.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:12 PM

The deposit is okay as long as you don't earn interest.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:25 PM

If it's yellow let it mellow;
If it's rank, turn the crank.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 12 Feb 09 - 10:34 PM

A friend out in West Texas has a couple of these in the buildings on the compound they are building out there. Since they are so far away from any towns that any builders who would do the pre-fab house they have in mind cost a large fortune, he has built all of the "out buildings" first and they live in several. (One day, they'll build a house. . . ) The garage, the storage shed, the radio shack (I think that's their main domicile) and an Airstream trailer are out there, and maybe more. When they have company, depending on their level of competence, they house them in a building with the facilities they can handle. His in-laws go in the one building with a flush toilet and a septic system.   :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Joybell
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 03:36 AM

Bee-dubya-ell, We did wonder about that step. Thanks. We've got a nice solid one we can use.
Friends are curious and it looks like a serious sort of unit. No problem about lack of heat or air to draw off smells. I think we're going to like it a lot.
Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: robomatic
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 05:21 PM

Doris Kearns Goodwin was being interviewd about a year ago and she said there was an apocryphal story that when Benjamin Franklin was visiting England he was directed to the outhouse, (dunno if it was called a loo in those pre-hydrological days), and found it adorned with a representation of George Washington. When he was finished his hosts were obviously enjoying themselves and someone asked him what he thought of the illustration. He replied it was a good idea, because no one could make an Englishman shit faster than George Washington!

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Joybell
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 05:44 PM

Lots of good ideas here.
Speaking of outhouses I've always liked the idea of a cresent moon cut in the door. I've wondered about the hearts though. Why hearts? On dulcimers they make sense. Part of a courting ritual as you sing duets with your lover.

Think I'll ask True-love to cut a moon in the door for me. Won't work inside the house, of course. The moonlight won't shine through.
Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Feb 09 - 08:48 PM

You've got a solid toilet? Ours are kind of hollow inside and have a hole in the top and the bottom.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: frogprince
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 12:15 AM

Are we talking about a composting toilet in the house ?
I've seen composting setups, but only in "upscale" public outhouses. I don't think they had the crank and drum setup, just a container of moss or whatever it was (it's been awhile) with instructions to dump a scoop down after your dump (I also forget the actual wording). The building was raised so the container was accessible for compost removal.

Subject: RE: BS: Explaining Joy's new toilet to the Queen
From: Joybell
Date: 14 Feb 09 - 02:31 AM

The design has come a long way, frogprince. We have a Canadian model. Looked at a Swedish one but decided on the Canadian one. It works the same way as those tumbler compost drums but you can't see the workings from the outside. It has a handle that turns the drum. In the drum is a mix of peat and wood-shavings and you add enzymes with a sprayer. When the drum is 60% full you turn it backwards and everything is dumped into the space below the drum. From there it dries out and you empty it via a small tray about once every 3 months. The unit has a pipe up through the roof that draws off gas and water vapour. It has a fan for use in still weather and in very cold areas you also need a small heater.
From the outside it looks quite solid and you'd never guess what was going on inside.
There are links down here. Isn't that helpful of them? Ours is one of the Sun-Mar models.
Cheers, Joy