Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct

Subject: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:34 PM

I'm a regular here, but I'd rather not identify her, so indulgence please Joe.

A very good friend has ovarian cancer and has an operation booked on Monday. Its advanced; she's weak and in pain, and I fear the outcome might not be good. I'm clinging to the idea that they wouldn't operate if there weren't a fighting chance.

I've loved her a long time, and I suspect that a lot of my anguish is selfish, the thought of having to live without her. But let me pretend to be altruistic for a while yet. If good thoughts can do any good, please give them a try.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,another friend
Date: 08 May 09 - 07:38 PM

My very best wishes for this person too and for her loving friend

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Azizi
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:06 PM

I'm sending positive healing vibrations for your friend and also positive vibrations to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: skipy
Date: 08 May 09 - 08:16 PM

My very best wishes & thought are with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:08 PM

best wishes to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Maryrrf
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:19 PM

Hoping and praying for the best possible outcome.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:26 PM

Best wishes, prayers for you both. We know what a scary time this can be, first hand, and hope for the best outcome.

                               Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: alanabit
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:32 PM

Anyone would wish you both well - and so do I.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 08 May 09 - 09:37 PM

Good thoughts are imperative. Pure, intense love can help her have the strength to find her own positive attitude and overcome fear. Nothing gives us more strength than the absolute knowledge that we are totally loved. To know you will be with her no matter what is your best gift to her, and to you. Holding you both in peace and love. D

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 08 May 09 - 10:59 PM

Thoughts of healing light and comfort going up from North Carolina, USA.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:02 PM

Good wishes for peace and strength for what you are both going through. Being there for her is the best you can do; share as much as possible of what you love of each other and stay as positive as possible. Light and Love will help.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: open mike
Date: 08 May 09 - 11:36 PM

golden light and love power winging to you both...

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 09 May 09 - 02:41 AM

I am here and I hope for the best for you and your friend.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: My guru always said
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:35 AM

Sending positive thoughts!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 09 May 09 - 06:53 AM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Tinker
Date: 09 May 09 - 07:39 AM

Blessings and light to you both....

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: ranger1
Date: 09 May 09 - 12:17 PM

Good thoughts from Maine coming your way.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST
Date: 09 May 09 - 03:51 PM

Love and healing thoughts to you both......suzi. x

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: wysiwyg
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:09 PM

OK....

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: fat B****rd
Date: 09 May 09 - 04:47 PM

All the very best to you both, XXXX.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:10 PM

Thanks to all of you, and may you be cared about when you are in need too.

We took her to the hospital this afternoon, and a hard journey it was. She wouldn't complain, but it was clear she felt every jolt in the road for the whole twenty mile journey, and guided us via a short detour round the hospital (she knows it well; she works there) to avoid a road with speed bumps. After the almost inevitable heartstopping delay- they weren't expecting her, no one had read the changed date for the operation- we saw her installed and ready for treatment under the best specialist in the region.

Whatever happens now, I'll love her for the rest of my life.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 10 May 09 - 01:27 PM

And that love is the most precious of gifts to her.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: maeve
Date: 10 May 09 - 02:28 PM

We're waiting for news along with you. Love and laughter and an easy peace between friends make a good trio.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sorcha
Date: 10 May 09 - 05:30 PM

Keep us posted. I'm not good at platitudes, but thinking of you all. This is a nasty thing to happen to a good person.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Essay
Date: 10 May 09 - 05:52 PM

thinking of you at this time - all the best.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,another friend
Date: 10 May 09 - 08:20 PM

Hoping and wishing for the very best and good thoughts to you too 'Jack'
Thanks for the call, please stay in touch.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: ClaireBear
Date: 11 May 09 - 12:03 PM

Saying a prayer right now, and sending positive energy. Trust in love. Nothing is surer,

Claire

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 May 09 - 12:18 PM

Sending...

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Hawker
Date: 11 May 09 - 03:29 PM

Hugs, Healing, prayers and Lots of love to you both,
Lucy x

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 11 May 09 - 04:42 PM

Update- Operation over, back on ward. No news of any findings so far.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 11 May 09 - 06:15 PM

Fingers crossed.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 11 May 09 - 06:24 PM

I think you're right ...

... I don't think they would operate if there was no hope.

Be positive and be strong and think of the good times to come, for your sake and hers.

Healing vibes headed your way.

Lox

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Tig
Date: 11 May 09 - 06:25 PM

Lots of love and BIG healing hugs for both of you.

Tig
xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 11 May 09 - 10:17 PM

May light and what aid and comfort prayers and good thoughts offer surround both of you.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 May 09 - 04:56 AM

sending more good wishes for positive results from the operation

sandra (who had a positive result in January)

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 12 May 09 - 09:28 AM

Love, Light and Blessings to you both. May the Great Mother and the All Father heal and comfort you both.

S mote it be.

Erica and Bryn

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 May 09 - 02:13 PM

Prayers and a candle.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket.
Date: 12 May 09 - 03:20 PM

Update: Operation went well. No news yet on what they found. She's conscious and comfortable.

Thanks to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 May 09 - 04:20 PM

That is good to hear, JS. Thanks for letting us know. Much love and light coming her/your way.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Cool Beans
Date: 12 May 09 - 04:56 PM

The best to both of you from Detroit.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 13 May 09 - 04:15 PM

A very cautious hallibalooyah! I've just seen her for the first time since the op, and I know it's partly the painkillers, but she's sitting up in bed and smiling! I thought I'd never see that smile again.

There's a long haul to come- she sees the onchologist on Monday, and there's probably a 5 month or more course of chemo to come, and her hair will drop out, but if she gets through that and stays clear for 2 years, there's a good chance that she'll survive for the rest of her life.

Thank you all so much for the support, I've given her my share of the love cos I don't deserve it, except a bit here now tp give back to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: ranger1
Date: 13 May 09 - 04:19 PM

Thanks for the update. And keep some of the love yourself. Cool thing about love is the more you give, the more you get. Sounds to me like you're giving plenty, so you deserve it, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 May 09 - 04:20 PM

What lovely hopeful news. It has been interesting wishing and hoping for a good outcome for doubly anoymous people. But no matter. Need is need, and my good thoughts follow need.

Hugs to you and wishing for an even brighter day tomorrow.

with love, Tamara

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 13 May 09 - 04:48 PM

I'm so glad for you both that there is very hopeful news. Will continue to send up good thoughts. Keep us posted.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,another friend
Date: 13 May 09 - 04:53 PM

Glad you got to visit today 'Jack'; hope you passed my best wishes on too.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sorcha
Date: 13 May 09 - 05:27 PM

Looks like good news there, buddy!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 13 May 09 - 09:11 PM

great news

more hugs to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 May 09 - 07:49 AM

I've just found this thread. It is always so hard on those who can do nothing but wait.

Good thoughts coming from Maine.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 14 May 09 - 10:51 AM

Oh, that's good news - thank you. May her recovery and yours continue.

So mote it be.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Maryrrf
Date: 14 May 09 - 01:57 PM

That's good news. I hope for her full recovery.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: billybob
Date: 15 May 09 - 09:41 AM

healing thoughts and love to you both from England

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:31 PM

"Jack",
   I have just this very day completed my sixth, week long round of chemo since November. It wasn't easy but it was do-able and crucial. Keeping a positive attitude is extremely important and I couldn't have done it without the support of my wonderful wife, my family and good, true friends , including many here on Mudcat. So, all blessings to you Jack, for being there for your friend throughout this ordeal. You may not realize how importany you are so keep up the good work. A good friend of mine reminded me of a line from a Randy Travis song when my own hair fell out..." Honey I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair, and if it all fell out, I'd love you anyways", when I was wondering how my wife would feel about it. I continue to send my best wishes for a complete recovery.

                                    Neil Devore

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:33 PM

Thinking of you Neil. Saw on another thread that you are just home from your last round of chemo. Hope you are recovering from the effects and that you end up with good results.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:37 PM

Sorry Neil. We posted so close together that I did not see your post before I posted.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:41 PM

Jack - I have something I would like to send to your friend. If you feel able you can email me here.

mehouseconcertataol.com

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 16 May 09 - 05:42 PM

Sheesh. I also pulled up the wrong thread - wrong in terms of being the thread regarding Neil, but let me also say that your partner and and you, Jack, continue to be in my thoughts. I hope she is recovering well from surgery and that her prognosis is positive.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 16 May 09 - 07:11 PM

Love to you all, and especially Neil.I'll see her again tomorrow, and sadly, Janie, she's not my partner, life wasn't that kind to me or cruel to her.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 May 09 - 08:39 PM

Jack,
This has been a day of welcome good news. Congratulations to you and yours.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:25 PM

Best of luck.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 17 May 09 - 02:58 PM

Good to hear. "...life wasn't that kind to me or cruel to her." Good to hear a sense of humour, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 17 May 09 - 04:30 PM

Saw her again today, smiley, laughing and complaining about itchy stitches and bad hospital food. Good. She let drop that one of the reasons the op was brought forward was a raised level of tumour markers in the pre-op blood test. Bad. Lets hope they get the chemo mix right.

Our solicitor mate and I rewrote her will and made her sign it before she went in- we didn't ike doing that- but the original one would have caused problems for her children if things went wrong. I went to her house and put it away- hopefully not needed for a good while.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:28 PM

is there any country that has good hospital food? Apart from rich folk's food, I hasten to add.

About all I remember from my first hospital trip when I was 12 years old, was getting the wrong food - if I ordered cornflakes & a boiled egg I got rice bubbles & scrambled egg!

Preparations for my second trip way back in January (it seems a lifetime away!)included taking food with me.

I was just looking at one of my menu sheets (I took a few home as souvenirs) & wrote on one yesterday.

Spinach quiche, peas & carrots, fresh fruit, apple juice - looks ok, but reality was 2" square of quiche, soup spoon full of each vegetable, served on normal dinner plate! No wonder the whole ward senna pods, they were trying to starve us! Well, the bean counters were, the kitchen & medical staff were wonderful.

Make sure the patient is fed lots of real food, including lotsa' veggies, when she gets home so she can Get Well Soon. And gets lotsa' pampering & rest.

When I woke in hospital my ginormous scar (about 12" across the right side of my groin) was padded with what looked like 2 disposable babies nappies (diapers for those on the other side of the big pond) & I was more comfortable when the scar was dressed with a smaller dressing. I didn't have any problem with stitches until weeks later when my surgeon put in a drain (roll of plastic stuff poked into a new little hole in the scar & fastened with a nasty big bit of black thread) which stayed there, both getting in the way & annoying me for a week.

sandra (totally healthy!)

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:54 PM

We have a small osteopathic hospital here which serves excellent food with a really full menu to choose from, within reason, i.e. dietary restraints. Their baked salmon is so good I've gone there as a guest just to order it! Our other, bigger hospital serves pretty decent food, too.

Jack, good for you folks for making sure her will was up to date. As I said before, I am visualising you coming here to tell us she is c-free a year from now, two years from now, etc...this or something better for the highest good of all concerned.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 17 May 09 - 08:57 PM

Jack, you prompted me to go on-line and finish my will this afternoon - something I have been putting off for way too long.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:23 AM

Since B. came out of hospital, she's been staying with her ex- husband's sister, who lives close to the hospital. I'm going over now to pick her up and bring her home. She's suffered quite badly with nausea and diarrhoea, perhaps she picked up a bug in her weakened state, perhaps it's the cancer. If the latter, roll on the chemo which starts in 3 weeks. Her daughter is home from university today, and her son has biked over (30 hilly miles, he's a hero), so she'll be well looked after.

Love to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:45 AM

thanks for the report & more good wished heading your way

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 23 May 09 - 10:51 PM

Best of luck with the chemo. It can be rough but for me it was well worth it. I'm fervently hoping it works as well for B. as it did for me. There are good anti-nausea meds available for chemo patients. Keep them handy and take them at the first inkling of nausea.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 23 May 09 - 11:24 PM

Just letting you know I'm still checking in and sending good thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 May 09 - 12:27 AM

Me, too. Thanks for keeping us posted.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 03:49 PM

Update. She's not doing well. After a promising start, the diarrhoea and vomiting returned, along with bowel pains. She's close to losing hope and the will to live, and very depressed, and convinced that it's secondary bowel tumours. She's seen her GP, who diagnosed a bad dose of irritable bowel- apparently it's quite common for hysterectomy post- op. She doesn't believe him.

She has a CAT scan on Wednesday; that should prove her right or (!!!!!!!) wrong. You can't argue with the evidence.

I love her more than ever. I'll love her till I die whatever happens.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:07 PM

My heart is weeping with you. Love, it seems, is not always rewarded, but to love someone that much is its own reward. It is certainly the most magnificent gift we can give another person, and our self. Hang in, naught else you can do!

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:15 PM

You know that the good thoughts are still with both of you. If love could work miracles.....

But, at least, she doesn't have to go through this alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sorcha
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:21 PM

Yes, I'm so very sorry.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 07 Jun 09 - 07:27 PM

Take a deep breath and encourage her to do so, if possible. I hope you have good support for yourself, too. Good thoughts and thanks givings for ease and comfort continue.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 09:53 AM

hugs to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:17 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 12:52 PM

I'm near tears myself, but try to get her to keep fighting. And keep yourself strong. Get your rest and eat right and get some down time whenever you can. You want to be there for the long haul and you'll be no help to her if you wear yourself out. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for that CAT scan.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jeffp
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 02:02 PM

What Neil said. I've taken care of two wives through years of cancer treatments and I can tell you you have to take care of yourself as well. You can't give if you have nothing left. You can't avoid junky food entirely if you're spending a lot of time at the hospital, but try to get some balanced meals as well. Hang in there and I'm hoping for the best for the both of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 02:34 PM

My thoughts are with you both. Hoping she is wrong and the GP is right. IBS is absolutely gut wrenching horrible thing to deal with on top of everything else. Quite understandable to have it after such invasive surgery. All her insides must have been pushed around and bruised.

Please do take care of yourself, get rest and eat right.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 08:38 PM

jeffp wrote - You can't avoid junky food entirely if you're spending a lot of time at the hospital, but try to get some balanced meals as well

If you have time beforehand, you could try to take your own food to the hospital - even if it's just a sandwich & fruit or yoghurt or a flask of soup.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 08 Jun 09 - 08:46 PM

Light. Light. And more Light.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket.
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:02 PM

CAT results. Not good, but perhaps not hopeless.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Pistachio
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:47 PM

Just read this through, hope that a few more good wishes will help.

One of my friends has just had a third tumour removed ... long story ...and I've been warned she's got more pipelines than a refinery in and out of her... you and your lovely friend are not alone in your suffering , and you ARE suffering, but this brilliant Mudcat world is with you. ((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))) to be delivered when you can!
Look after YOU! I've told my friends husband he needs to do the same.
Very best wishes
Hazel.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 06:51 PM

Care for yourself so you have the energy to give her. Hold her hand; she will gain strength directly from yours. Talk with her; listen to her; listen to what she does not say.

Prepare yourself to give her permission to leave - if it comes to that. That is a gift we must have the strength to give, wholly. Perhaps the greatest, most important, and most difficult of gifts.

Holding you and your friend in the Light.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 07:29 PM

So sorry to hear the results were not good. Perhaps chemo or radiation can help. Holding you in our thoughts.

                                        Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Janie
Date: 11 Jun 09 - 08:52 PM

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 11:00 AM

more good wishes heading your way

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 02:07 PM

Sorry about the terse post. There's apparently a bowel problem, don't know if it's a tumour or something else.

Dorothy: all I want to do is hold her, but as I've explained earlier I can't even do that. But yes; the only point of loving her is her wellbeing- and it could come to the point where she can't see any prospect of a life she could support. I'll try to be ready for that if it comes to it.

Love to you all.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 03:02 PM

Love to you Jack, and your lady.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 04:49 PM

She's having another operation tomorrow (Saturday) to remove the problematic section of bowel. I doubt if she'll be up to visitors till Sunday. I'll update then.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Joybell
Date: 12 Jun 09 - 07:12 PM

My thoughts too, Jack. Good thoughts in this special place.
Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Andy Jackson
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 01:22 PM

"Jack"
I've just stumbled on this thread and read every message. Along with everyone else my heart goes out to you both. We were lucky, my partner was diagnosed early almost by accident and is now almost clear. I know how frightening this must be.
You sound like a good and true friend, she is lucky to have you.

My very best wishes to you both,

Andy

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Eye Lander
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 06:17 PM

Jack, I am Miskin Man's partner,and he alerted me to your thread.    As Andy said I was one of the lucky ones.

My thoughts and prayers are with you both, I shall follow this thread now.

Jillie x

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 13 Jun 09 - 11:04 PM

Hoping all goes well with the surgery. Stay strong, keeping you in our prayers.

                                     Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:38 AM

Bowel severely affected by tumours. Much removed, still small tumorous parts remain which will be treated by chemotherapy hopefully.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 11:58 AM

Jack: my heart is with you. It is quite possible to hold someone's hand in absentia. Mine is open for you.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 01:10 PM

Continued thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:01 PM

Good thoughts still coming Jack.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 03:37 PM

Lots of hugs coming your way. Nothing we can say will be of much help right now. Try to be there for her as much as you can, it will help. We are here as much as we can be. Wish there was more that we could do. Please let your friend know we are praying for her too. This has been such a difficult time for you both, everything changing so fast, you don't have time to process one diemma when a new on dropped in your lap. I call it the "snow globe" effect, like when someone shakes it up ,and then snow starts to settle, then someone just comes along and shakes it up again. Hoping your "snow" settles soon. You both need a break.

                                          Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Jun 09 - 07:02 PM

good thoughts & hugs still coming from me, too

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 03:08 PM

Home today! She came out of hospital last Monday, and has been staying with another friend near the hospital since. She now feels strong enough to look after herself, although climbing stairs is a major effort. I cooked her egg fried rice, and she ate more than I've seen her eat for two months (a third of a normal portion to you or me), and I hope she doesn't explode. Still got her hair despite the chemo, so we're enjoying that while it lasts. Watched Andy Murray do what we Brits are best at- losing gallantly. Walked in HER garden for five minutes, tired her out completely. She's lived on air for nweeks. Fat gone, muscle largely gone, smile still there.

Trying to arrange an informal rota of friends and neighbours to make sure someone visits regularly throughout the week.

I hope this is near the bottom- she's been magnificent so far but there's only so much the human frame can take. Still, home, her own bed, glorious sunshine outside. Life could be worse.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: maeve
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 03:11 PM

That is welcome good news. I hope she will continue to heal and grow strong again. Thank you for the happy news.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 03:49 PM

Still thinking of you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: jacqui.c
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 06:26 PM

Good news - take care.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: olddude
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 06:28 PM

I will dig out my Rosary, works everytime, got the Captain back for us, I am on it

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 03 Jul 09 - 07:12 PM

very good news

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 04 Jul 09 - 11:25 AM

Glad to hear she is doing so well! Keep fighting the good fight.

                                  Neil and Christina

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jul 09 - 05:46 PM

You are a good friend and I am glad to hear she is in her own home. That can be so important. Thanks for letting us know.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: fat B****rd
Date: 05 Jul 09 - 03:02 PM

Excellent news, thank you and my very best regards. Charlie.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 01:11 PM

Bad news. Chemo didn't work. Too weak for a more aggressive treatment. End of line, barring miracles.

Thanks. I had to get this off my chest, even though it's draft one.

You have moulded my life from the day I first met you, my dear;
Every thought, every act, every day, every month, every year,
Every breath that I take has been yours to refuse or to give,
And although we must part, I will love you as long as I live.

Like a fool I contrived and contended to make you my own
Though to me you were diamonds and sapphires compared to a stone,
But you smiled at my wit, and your laughter brought peace to my heart,
Contented with you, and uneasy when we were apart.

The home you created, a stronghold of beauty and peace,
For your children, a nest where contention and trouble could cease,
For the treasure you lost, and the traitor who cheated and left
Forged the power in your beauty, like warp gives its strength to the weft.

When I turn from your grave I will leave and I'll never return,
But forever your light like a fire in my being will burn.
Perhaps there'll be love as I wander the sands of the world,
But you'll always be with me, my beautiful redheaded girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:23 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: ClaireBear
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:50 PM

So sorry to hear this, but if it is her time, then at least she couldn't have a better friend than you to ease her passage. Strength and love to you.

C

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Maryrrf
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 02:57 PM

I followed this thread when you first posted it and hoped the outcome would be positive. I'm so sorry for this bad news. But I agree, at least she has a wonderful supportive friend and that must mean a great deal.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Neil D
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 03:56 PM

So very sorry Jack, hoped things would turn out better. Loving thoughts to you and your friend.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Emma B
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 04:08 PM

Thinking of you both

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Morticia
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 05:02 PM

hugs

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Dorothy Parshall
Date: 20 Aug 09 - 06:09 PM

I have sent good thoughts to both of you. Now I seek some better words which may be helpful. Miracles do happen every single day; one of them is to have a good death. I once was privileged to help a friend's mother to do just that. It is one of the high points of my life. It was to sit with her at 3 am when she was "scared of dying! Wouldn't you be?" and I was gifted with words which did not come from me but, rather, through me. As she held both my hands as tightly as she was able - I could not leave her alone, nor would I - I spoke words to her which eased her fear and enabled her to die peacefully a day later. She moved from fear and anger to peace as I was open to allow words to flow from the spirit which dwells within each of us and connects us one to another. And the peace in which she lived her last day of life was a gift to her son and his family. "God" is not a word I generally use but the bottom line that night was an encouragement to "let go and let God". It suited her.

A Quaker friend who died some years ago wrote in 1988: "I saw that death,too, is another great divide... When we walk in faith, holding the hand of God, through these ominous shadows before us, a great and beautiful light beyond our present knowing awaits us."

But for those who are left behind, another Friend wrote: "I think now that I am ready to lay down (the pain of loss), to start getting used to the transition this child has made, to prepare myself for the adventure of knowing him in his new state of being."

For William Penn wrote in 1693:
Those who love beyond the World, cannot be separated by it.
Death cannot kill that which never dies.
Nor can Spirits ever be divided
that love and live in the same Divine Principle,
the Root and Record of their Friendship.
If Absence be not Death, neither is theirs.

Death is but Crossing the World, as Friends do the seas;
they live in one another still.
....

***

Your friends shall surely live on in the lives of those she has touched. She will be with you always, a gift you will carry in your heart as you work through the pain of loss and beyond.

Peace be with you both at this important time in your lives.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: My guru always said
Date: 21 Aug 09 - 04:43 AM

So very sorry, sending hugs!
Hil

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: GUEST,another friend
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 02:25 PM

I'm sorry to post that I had a phone call from 'Jack' to let me know that our friend lost her battle against this disease last night.

He asked me to thank you all for your kind thoughts, he will thank you all personally soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 02:37 PM

RIP

She must be an amazing lady to be so cherished.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 02:38 PM

Thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 02:55 PM

My condolences and thanks for letting us know.

May she find peace and rest.

kat

Subject: RE: BS: Good thoughts for a good friend please
From: Andy Jackson
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 05:16 PM

So sorry.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: sing4peace
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 08:07 PM

May she rest in peace.
May Jack find comfort in the love that remains.

In sympathy,
Joyce

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: jacqui.c
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 08:42 PM

I am so sorry my friend. My thoughts are with you.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6
From: Janie
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 08:45 PM

So very sorry. May all who love her feel themselves surrounded in the light of the universe, and journey safely through the sea of grieving.

Janie

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Neil D
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 10:47 PM

So, very sorry Jack. Will be keeping you in our thoughts.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Maryrrf
Date: 06 Oct 09 - 11:05 PM

I am so sorry to hear this.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Catherine Jayne
Date: 07 Oct 09 - 03:34 AM

Sorry to hear this. Keeping her friends and family in our thoughts

Khatt and Paul

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Oct 09 - 04:19 AM

thinking of you & the others who share the loss

sandra

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: mouldy
Date: 07 Oct 09 - 04:37 AM

Peace after pain...and there's always (eventually) sunshine after rain.

Thinking of you

Andrea

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 07 Oct 09 - 01:44 PM

Oh my, i am so sorry! All this love and care surrounding you and your anonymous friend, Jack. It is still here. And though your friend has moved on, her light and love live on through you. And she has no more pain.

Please come back to us when you are ready.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: billhudson
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 11:38 AM

So Sorry to hear your loss Jack. I lost one of my best friends, Barb on Dec. 23 two years ago. And was with her from the time she found out and going through so many ups and downs. Barb was the best friend a musician could ask for.
As we went along I got funny films for her to watch and a few of us musicians played for her from time to time. Music and the arts can really heal I believe.My job was to make her laugh as hard as that was.
Still Pickin'
B.H.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: GUEST,Jack Sprocket
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 12:09 PM

Thanks to you all. Love and support be yours when you need it, and may it surprise you even when you don't.

Autumn

Lovely as Spring, generous as Summer,
You left us as leaves changed
To the colour of your hair.

Black Car

A small black car passed me as I walked.
Someone waved; it wasn't you.

Fair Hands

Rank wet grass in the autumn mist,
Grey weeds choke the flower beds,
Damsons rot on the pathways-
Fair hands busy no more.

Sunday, 4pm

1. Silence.

Don't look for the straw sunhat on the terrace-
I don't know that woman sipping beer.
The telephone stayed silent this afternoon.

2. Epiphany

Bright outside, dark within;
Redgold hair glows in the doorway-
Another half of bitter please!

3. The Indiscretion

Tipsy, you said something you repented next day.
But it was sweet. In vino veritas?

A Sceptic's Prayer

Water plunges down the rock beside the ruined mill
And sings and dances in the pools below
In those woods where we kissed.

If spirits exist, I'll meet you there.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: catspaw49
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:08 PM

Beautifully said.....and you have all my best. Although I know time will help heal, right now I also know the pain doesn't care. Take good care of yourself and keep writing.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Tug the Cox
Date: 08 Oct 09 - 02:18 PM

Blessings, Jack.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 05:55 AM

Bluster

"She's dead!" jeered the wind, tugging at my hair, "You've lost her!"
Fool! She's warm and safe, here, in my heart.

Best Before End April 2009

Cheese in the fridge. It's out of date.
I'll drink the wine alone.

Recipes

Falafels in gooseberry sauce,
Carrots and chestnuts,
Red rice and pine kernels,
Halloumi and pineapple,
Hot and sour broccoli,
Potatoes with Stilton.

What can I cook now I've lost the main ingredient?

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Neil D
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 05:34 PM

Hoping you are ok Jack. Keeping you and your friends family close in thought.

Subject: RE: Good thoughts for a good friend please- RIP 6 Oct
From: Hawker
Date: 09 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM

So very, very sorry to read this thread. sending love to you Jack and hugs, healing thoughts and a hand to hold through the dark times, she was obviously a very special lady and she was blessed to have a very special man to hold her hand through the last part of her life. Cherish the memories till you meet again.
Lucy xx