Flammable Flatulence (Phartin' Phenomena)

Subject: RE: Flammable Flatulence (Phartin' Phenomena)
From: Peter T.
Date: 10 Jul 99 - 03:47 PM

Recently when I visited Uruguay (a country in South America) there was a significant controversy concerning Uruguay's contribution to global warming. Since the population is 3-5 million, the carbon dioxide contribution to the greenhouse gas problem is insignificant, but Uruguay is a beef growing country, and has more cattle per capita than any other country on earth, and therefore higher methane gas emissions per capita than any other country. It was pointed out in a semi-official protest that this was an insult to the Uruguyan people since the official UN documents did not specify that the "capita"s involved were calculated from cattle, not people. This figure is under revision, as suspicion from new calculations suggest that Canada and Iceland, with their significant emissions from peat bogs, may well be out in front in the methane stakes. Methane is a much more powerful greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide. I have not seen any figures on whether flaring it off in the manner suggested would contribute to solving this urgent global problem.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: Flammable Flatulence (Phartin' Phenomena)
From: catspaw49
Date: 10 Jul 99 - 03:26 PM

Dear Fellow 'Catters,

First I would hasten to point out that this thread is Jeri's fault and not mine. As you all know, I am the pinnacle of taste and decorum around here. I simply made an observation on another thread about female/male 'Catters and Jeri responded with a logical and well thought out (and probably true) response. Please see the "Mudcat Resources" thread if you have any questions. In any case, this thread is the result. Don't blame me. And as you can see, I used an appropriate thread title. Fart doesn't seem quite so vulgar with a PH instead of an F---sorta' refined like.

That said.........What few friends I have left will tell you I'm one of the Gas Kings of all time. But let me tell you a different tale about my first college roommate.

Dale led a sheltered life in a small town in SW Virginia and the first time anybody mentioned lighting air biscuits, he couldn't believe it. So naturally, being 18 year old males, we all did.......he was amazed, but was too shy to try it. Several days later, Matt and I walked into the room and were confronted with a sight that's hard to forget. Laying on the bottom bunk, in his u-trou, with feet on the top bunk rail like a hairy legged V, lay Dale........complete with lit match held to his ass. Evidently our surprise entrance was just the incentive he needed as a large rip and flame shot out across the room. I think there is nowhere in my experience, before or since, that I have received such a greeting.

Of course there was another friends uncle who was a bit deaf and untroubled by his prodigious flatulence. I was warned, but the first time I met Jimmy, we shook hands and he said, "Hey there Buddy (FFLLEEEEPP), Good ta' meetcha' (BRAAWWMMPP). Glad y'all (PPRROOOOOTTT) could make it." Never met anybody quite like Ol' Jimmy.

Got more of course, but (butt?) Jeri, it's all yours.

catspaw