BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 04:45 PM

The gnu which some have alluded to herein, a large dumb animal only intent upon eating, drinking and laying about (I have chosen not to address fornication as it is a given, if only in mind), has a name enunciated differently from the ungulate which also bears the name Wildebeeste. This rare animal's name is enunciated as gah-nu (think canoe).

Further, the proper enunciation of the alternate name for the above cited rare animal which is not an ungulate, also Wildebeeste, is Gary.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 02:48 PM

http://www.gnu.org/

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 23 Sep 09 - 06:40 AM

Sharon

It was the Blow Gnu bit I worried about. Didn't want him to get any ideas.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 06:04 PM

LOL, VirginiaTam! So, you see why I titled that craft thread in an oblique way.

...but I'm not embarrassed to come right out and say...

TAMPON BLOW GNU!

(In the profile view, it even looks a bit as though it has an animal body, head, legs and tail. The painted-tampon "bullet" even comes out of the "tail"!)

See it here!

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 05:14 PM

Gosh you sure know how to get a girl interested.
If that's what you say to them too :)

G

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 04:57 PM

I wear Kodiak Pathfinders... work pants. $20. And I can change pants without taking off my size 11 big hulking work boots with the rugged tread soles.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:56 PM

You can spray that again g.
Still wearing Levis in memory of The King?

John 'G'

Don't you, step on my Gnu Suede Shoes ♫쳌ô

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:43 PM

I am lysdexic too.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 03:32 PM

well, here I am and twiddling me thumbs wondering if I should just come out and say it.

Nah! too embarrassing.

But if you toddle over to the BS: Craft projects, using the unusual thread and click the link.

You will see an unusual piece of weaponry, that I dare not name on this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 22 Sep 09 - 01:42 PM

...and only at gnuntime.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 09:20 PM

only if the gnunner is on his/her gnees at the time.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: longboat (inactive)
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 03:22 PM

yes but does a gnu go bnag if gno one can hear it?

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 05:26 AM

Oh gno !

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: HuwG
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 11:03 PM

A gnu makes a distinctive noise in the wild...

It goes "bnag"

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 10:57 PM

Sheesh, can't even spell Gnu right.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: frogprince
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 10:55 PM

Nothing personal against Gny, but there are lots of other people I'd rather see gnude than him...

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: kendall
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 07:04 AM

No matter how gnu age you get, old age still gonna kick your ass.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 09 - 12:01 AM

Why are we starting a gnu thread on this subject? Just saying something is gnu doesn't make it so, and this Gnu stuff is really old...



A

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: PSzymeczek
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 11:59 PM

Not to mention...





Gnu Mexico

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 04:53 PM

Longboat: Shouldn't that be "Ngnuva Scotia"?

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 04:43 PM

Awww.... thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 03:25 PM

No gnus is bad gnus

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: longboat (inactive)
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 02:36 PM

Gnu Jersey, Gnu York, Nova Scotia (Nova is gnu in Latin)Gnu Westminster (British Columbia)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 12:25 PM

I'll ignu your last remark.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 09 - 11:26 AM

And, as The Scots say, "Yer pissin me off the gnu." (Sorry, G... I tried.)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:43 PM

As Tom Paxton also wrote:

Gnus, gnus, ain't that gnus
Ain't that somethin' to see
Gnus, gnus, talk about your gnus
That's mighty good gnus to me.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Riginslinger
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 10:20 PM

Well, son of a gnu!

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 08:51 PM

"I know what you're thinking: 'Did he fire six shots or only five?' Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Mag-gnu-um, the most powerful hand-gnu in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?'

"Well, do ya, punk?"

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 18 Sep 09 - 08:26 PM

I've got a little bitty gnu on the table
Right by my little bitty bed
Though he's really very cute
How you hold the thing to shoot
Is too much for my little bitty head

I love my little bitty beastie
He's the pride of my little bitty room
And the gnu shoots little bitty bull sh*ts
When the little bitty gnu goes boom

(with apologies to Tom Paxton)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 11:20 PM

You gnuw, y'all oughta come up with some gnu puns and stuff. Maybe you need a vacation in some place like Gnubraska or Gnubrunswick or even Gnufoundland.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: JennieG
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 07:47 PM

Did Annie get her gnu?

Oh you cay-in't git a may-in with a gnu.....

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 07:35 PM

You know...I tried to make the acquaintance of some gnubile lasses the other day, but they just laughed and threatened to have me gnutered.

(see? downhill)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 07:29 PM

heading downhill fast, folks...

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: SharonA
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 05:39 PM

Bee-dubya-ell (15 Sep 09 - 01:00 PM): Your post is reminiscent of the platform of former Senator John Sugnugnu of Gnu Hampshire.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Dead Horse
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 05:30 PM

Blow The Gnu Down
As I was a-walkin' down Paradise Street
Timme way-hey, blow the gnu down
This ugly great wildebeest I chanced for to meet
Gimme some time to blow the gnu down

He was seven foot tall, an' he looked like a horse
Way hey (wotnot etc)
With a hairy damn beard he looked old of course
Gimme (& the rest of it)

I bought him a dinner that cost me four bob
Timme way-hey (keep up at the back)
A bale of hay and a corn on the cob
Gimme (another pint please landlord)

He said "Now you sailor, to my home we must walk
Way hey (you get the idea)
"Be buggered" says I "This animal can talk"
Gimme (some pork scratchins while your at it)

Or I coulda done "Oh, you Gnu York Gals, Cant ye Dance the Watusi"
Or "Have you heard the gnus, me Johnnies, One More Day"
Or "Runnin' Down to Gnuba"
Or "A Gnu Sweet Lovely Nancy, Ten Thousand Times A Gnu"
Or not bothered................

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John P
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 02:13 PM

I tried meditating to some Gnu Age music . . .

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: longboat (inactive)
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 01:53 PM

Bloody hell! talk about revisionist history!!! Thanks Rapaire *LOL*

Anyway, JM, that reminds me of the family that had four brothers. One was a sock tucker, the second was a cork soaker, the third brother, a coke sacker, and number four we just don't talk about.

Now (or Gnu) that was wayyyy off the thread!

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 01:46 PM

Yeah, there were gnu slingers in the Old West. Had to use slings to get 'em outa the rail cars they were shipped in. It was kinda like unloading horses er cows with a crane.

But the most feared with the gnu flingers, who could fling a gnu as far as fifty feet.

Yes, to face down a gnu flinger at high noon on Main Street took courage. But there was one other desperado no one in the Old West ever wanter to go up against. Bill Hickok ran from them, Clay Allison (the Wild Wolf of the Washita) licked their boots, Jack Slade bought them drinks, and no one ever, ever messed with

The Gnupoo Flinger, especially when the gnupoo was new. New gnupoo flung on someone's shoes was nothing to boast of, and the flingers of new gnupoo showed shoes to be their main target. Finally, a doctor rode into town and cleaned them out: Doctos Scholl's and his posse, called the Odoreaters.

And the rest is history.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 01:11 PM

Not me longboat, I don't grouse, I'm a pheasant plucker:)

JM

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: longboat (inactive)
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 12:54 PM

The Old American west, of course, had its share of gnu-slingers and gnu-fighters; and wasn't Billy the Kid known as The Left-Handed Gnu?

Dalton Trumbo, of course, gnu that Johnny Got His Gnu

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 12:44 PM

Certainly someone can write up a shanty about gnuboats with gnuwales in Gnu Wharf, Plymouth.

Or a kids rhyme about air gnus and squirt gnus and bb gnus.

But let's NOT talk films.

Because where Top Gnu and Johnny Get your Gnu may be ok, The Naked Gnu is just one step too far.

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: longboat (inactive)
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 12:19 PM

JM,
if that be the case wouldn't be best if you had your grouse hunting gnu handy.......?

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 12:17 PM

I think it was well-crafted, myself. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 11:59 AM

Ouch !!


Stick to woodworking mate.

JM

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 11:27 AM

Zeb, a farmer who was the son of a farmer who was the son of a farmer, had known little other than the plow and the harrow since birth. His entire life had consisted of plant, grow, harvest, store. Each year brought the same as the previous, with precious little variance save for the vagueries of the weather. And so it was that when Zeb entered his forty-fifth year, he yearned for something different. Something exotic. He strolled into the living room, where his wife was watching a television show about wildlife in Africa, and there he saw the animal that was soon to change his life: the wildebeest.

Zeb didn't know why, but he knew he had to have one. So he headed out to the old pickup truck, fired it up, and headed into town. He got to his destination in a heartbeat, skidded neatly into a parking spot right in front, jumped out of the cab, and paused for just a moment to look at the sign: Wile Thangs. He practically lurched into the store, and accosted the cashier immediately. "I gotta have one! I just gotta have one," he yelled, in between gulps of air. "I know you got one of them wildee... wildee.. wildee beasts, and I just gotta have one!"

"Oh," said the cashier, "Gnus"

"Well, hell!" answered Zeb, "It might be news to you, but I know what I got to have!"

"No, no," replied the cashier, "I mean gnu. Gee en you. Gnu. It's another name for wildebeest."

"Ah, Gnu!" yelled Zeb, "Great! Do you have one?"

"As a matter of fact," answered the cashier, "we just happen to have one. It came in by mistake; we had ordered an Emu, but somehow things got scrambled. We weren't quite sure what to do with it. I can let you have it for $100, if you'll take it away now."

Zeb quickly separated five twenty-dollar bills out of his wallet, handed them to the cashier, and was ushered to the back of the store where the strange bearded beast was munching on some grass.

"Hey there, gnu. Nice gnu! Walter Gnu. Edgar Allen Gnu. Oh, I dunno. I'll figure out what to call you sooner or later."

The gnu went on munching his grass, oblivious to Zeb's rambling. Together, the cashier and Zeb led the gnu into Zeb's pickup truck, and within the hour the gnu became part of Zeb's livestock. Zeb, of course, had more in mind for the gnu than just a life of munching grass. Zeb knew that the gnu could achieve greatness, despite what the cashier had told him.

"Now Zeb," the cashier had said, "don't go thinking that this thing can pull carts or plow your fields. This gnu has been around for a lot of years. We're not talking spring chicken here!"

But Zeb wasn't paying attention then, and probably wouldn't have believed anyway. Zeb was in the throes of a Great Idea -- "Zeb and his Trained Gnu!" He began trying to teach the gnu some simple tricks.

"Now c'mon, gnu. Roll over!"

The gnu tilted his head just a bit, and looked at Zeb out of the corner of his eye for just a moment before resuming his meal of lawn greenery.

"Hey, gnu, you can do it! Sit!"

The gnu paid no attention to him.

"Say now, gnu, I know you can do this: fetch!"

Zeb threw a stick across the field. The gnu failed to notice.

"Dagnab it, gnu, you mind me when I'm talking to you!"

With that, Zeb walked over and whacked the gnu on its hindquarters. The gnu lifted his head and made a menacing sound, something Zeb hadn't heard before. But Zeb didn't care. He grabbed another stick and held it over the gnu's head.

"Up, gnu! Sit up!"

Zeb practically screamed this last command, waving the stick as he did so. The gnu, probably sensing imminent danger, snorted once and charged straight toward Zeb. The impact alone might have been enough, but the gnu managed to trample Zeb as it made its way toward the open road. Zeb died right there in the field.

A short time later, the cashier from the pet store came out to Zeb's farm to check up on the gnu. He found Zeb's tattered body, and saw the stick still in Zeb's hands. It was obvious what had happened here. The cashier shook his head.

"What a fool. Everybody knows you can't teach an old gnu dog tricks!"

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 11:15 AM

He's only 3 hours drive from the border, beware folks.

Now is that bad gnus, or is that good gnus?

Your choice folkies.

JM

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: gnu
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 10:28 AM

Old Point?

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 09:46 AM

I have a tee shirt from Dead Horse Point....

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Dead Horse
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 09:42 AM

I wanted to buy some sort of t-shirt
or sweatshirt to show my support for this noble creature, but I couldnt decide which to buy.
Should it be a "t" or a sweatshirt?
Finally I settled on a "t".
Why?






Because of the right to bare arms. :-)

Subject: RE: BS: US Gnu laws... yes... again... sigh
From: Mooh
Date: 16 Sep 09 - 07:16 AM

I read the gnus today oh boy
About a lucky man who made the grade
And though the gnus was rather sad
Well I just had to laugh
I saw the photograph

Peace, Mooh.