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A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion...

MGM·Lion 12 Oct 09 - 12:28 PM
Wesley S 12 Oct 09 - 12:32 PM
John MacKenzie 12 Oct 09 - 12:37 PM
gnu 12 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM
GUEST 12 Oct 09 - 12:47 PM
The Sandman 12 Oct 09 - 01:04 PM
mandotim 12 Oct 09 - 02:08 PM
BobKnight 12 Oct 09 - 02:25 PM
Snuffy 12 Oct 09 - 03:50 PM
Jim Carroll 12 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM
Joe_F 12 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM
CarolC 12 Oct 09 - 06:15 PM
Q (Frank Staplin) 12 Oct 09 - 06:22 PM
Jos 12 Oct 09 - 06:28 PM
Leadfingers 12 Oct 09 - 06:29 PM
GUEST 12 Oct 09 - 10:42 PM
Dave Hanson 13 Oct 09 - 02:27 AM
Dave Hanson 13 Oct 09 - 02:28 AM
treewind 13 Oct 09 - 03:17 AM
GUEST,Green Wellies 13 Oct 09 - 03:31 AM
GUEST,Granny In Wales 13 Oct 09 - 08:23 AM
Mr Red 13 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM
Murray MacLeod 13 Oct 09 - 02:02 PM
MGM·Lion 13 Oct 09 - 02:20 PM
The Sandman 14 Oct 09 - 01:14 PM
Bill D 14 Oct 09 - 03:52 PM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 14 Oct 09 - 06:25 PM
Mingulay 14 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM
GUEST,TJ in San Diego 14 Oct 09 - 07:40 PM
GUEST,Nick E 14 Oct 09 - 08:02 PM
Seamus Kennedy 15 Oct 09 - 02:49 AM
Bryn Pugh 15 Oct 09 - 05:53 AM
Dead Horse 15 Oct 09 - 01:18 PM
Dead Horse 15 Oct 09 - 01:19 PM
Dead Horse 15 Oct 09 - 01:20 PM
GUEST,Ebor_fiddler 15 Oct 09 - 03:54 PM
Joe_F 15 Oct 09 - 10:34 PM
Jos 18 Oct 09 - 06:38 PM
Don(Wyziwyg)T 18 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM
Jos 18 Oct 09 - 07:08 PM
Steve Shaw 18 Oct 09 - 07:56 PM
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Subject: Gentleman is a man who...
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:28 PM

One of the most common definitions, given many different attributions in Google so probably anonymous, is "A gentleman is a man who can play the accordion but doesn't."

Hands up: who thinks that funny? who thinks it merely smartarse [as I do]?

Does anyone know any comparable variants?


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Wesley S
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:32 PM

I always heard it was the banjo. As a banjo joke it's funny.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:37 PM

Takes the weight on his elbows


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: gnu
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM

I thought one used shoulder straps for that, G.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 12:47 PM

In Ireland, of course, the term "gentleman piper" has a particular resonance (so to speak). Click here for an interesting example.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: The Sandman
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 01:04 PM

a Gentleman is someone who is not a Player.
or Is that not cricket


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: mandotim
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 02:08 PM

...has grass stains on knees AND elbows...


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: BobKnight
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 02:25 PM

I thought it was, "a drummer is someone who hangs about with musicians."


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Snuffy
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 03:50 PM

A gentleman is someone who never gives offence ...

















unintentionally.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:10 PM

Climbs out of the bath to have a pee
Jim Carroll


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Joe_F
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:12 PM

"I can see you're no gentleman."
"Same to you, lady!"

It is a vulgar error to suppose that a gentleman must be ready to fight. The utmost that can be demanded of him is that he be incapable of a lie. -- Emerson

A socially respectable person who has no specific occupation or profession. -- OED, s.v. gentleman 4.c


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: CarolC
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:15 PM

A gentleman is a man who knows ancient, worn out accordion jokes and doesn't tell them.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:22 PM

A gentleman is always willing to lend you money.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Jos
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:28 PM

I'm sure I have seen written somewhere:

'Gentlemen lift the seat'

though whether it was a statement or a command:

'Gentlemen, lift the seat'

I am still unsure.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Leadfingers
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 06:29 PM

Not so sure about what a Gentleman may be , but a Banjola is a Gentlemans banjo !


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Oct 09 - 10:42 PM

.... helps the lady back into her clothes....
Colyn.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:27 AM

Pulls her nighty down afterwards.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:28 AM

or lies in the damp patch occasionally.

Dave H


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: treewind
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 03:17 AM

Re original definition, also substitute bagpipes for accordion.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST,Green Wellies
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 03:31 AM

.......... let me go in front of him in the que at Morrisons last night. He had a full trolley and I just had a bottle of wine.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST,Granny In Wales
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 08:23 AM

I am reminded of a parody to the tune "Humouresque" which family members, sadly no longer with us, used to sing:

Gentlemen must please refrain
From making water on the train
That's standing in the station for a while
We encourage constipation
While the train is in the station
Cross your legs, and grit your teeth, and smile.

If you must make water
Please tell the Porter
He will place a vessel in the corridor.....


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Mr Red
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 12:38 PM

a Gentleman is a Man who is Gentle.

Keep it Simple Stupid.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:02 PM

the definition in the opening post doesn't make a great deal of sense, as no "gentleman" would ever have learnt to play the accordion in the first place.

the substitution of "bagpipes" (which is how I have always heard it)makes the aphorism both appropriate and witty.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 13 Oct 09 - 02:20 PM

This is a folk site, Murray. Do you really think a 'definition', any more than a song or a tale, will exist in only one version?

If still in doubt, try googling 'gentleman+accordion' & see what you get.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: The Sandman
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 01:14 PM

a gentleman is a a man who is not a gentlewoman.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 03:52 PM

Old Mutt & Jeff cartoon:

Friend comes up to Little Jeff and says: "Jeff, here's that $10 I borrowed from you, I almost forgot....why didn't you ask me for it?"

"Oh, I never ask a gentleman for money"

"But what if he doesn't pay you?"

"Oh, after awhile I assume he ISN'T a gentleman, and then I ask him."


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 06:25 PM

From the Shires:-

"A gentleman (on two legs) never gives offence. On four legs, however, he always takes a fence.

Don T.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Mingulay
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 07:15 PM

As previously posted he gets out of the bath to go to the toilet, he also removes his hat before striking his wife!


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 07:40 PM

Webster: A courteous, gracious man with a strong sense of honor

or....

Mort Sahl: One who exhibits flaccid decorum at a nude beach...
               (The attribution may be specious)


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST,Nick E
Date: 14 Oct 09 - 08:02 PM

My father told it to me as with an acordian, but then he was a lawyer...a corporate layer. S H U D D E R


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 02:49 AM

A gentleman is someone who uses his butter knife even when dining alone.
(Unknown, but it smacks of Oscar).

Seamus


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Bryn Pugh
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 05:53 AM

A gentleman is one who, when his wife farts loudly, stands up and says "Pardon me !".


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 01:18 PM

Guest Nick E, a corporate layer!
Obviously not a gent then.
No. A gentleman is one who sees a daft thread on mudcat, and doesnt post to it.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 01:19 PM

I rest my case.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Dead Horse
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 01:20 PM

Twice!

Oh blimey, thrice now.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: GUEST,Ebor_fiddler
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 03:54 PM

Sorry - that last was my error. I WAS going to say (see other thread) A gentleman is a man who is Tom McConville!


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Joe_F
Date: 15 Oct 09 - 10:34 PM

Seamus K.: I recoil from the thought of using the same knife to put jam on my muffin & to eat my omelet, but that doesn't make me a gentleman -- just a ruly type.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Jos
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 06:38 PM

You eat an omelette with a knife?


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 06:52 PM

He must be a Brit, Jos.

Americans eat everything except steak with a fork.

EVEN SOUP!

Don T.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Jos
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 07:08 PM

I think this rhyme is probably by the popular poet, Anon.

I eat my peas with honey.
I have done all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.


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Subject: RE: Gentleman is a man who...
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Oct 09 - 07:56 PM

"Climbs out of the bath to have a pee"
(Jim Carroll)
The first person I ever heard say that was Fred Trueman when I were a little lad. Now there was a true gent...not!

(I'm a Lancashire lad, tha knows...)


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